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Here's a very short story I wrote about myself and the newsreader Moira Stewart

I’ve been asked before the court to tell what went on between myself and Moira Stewart. It all began in a shop in the town of Kendal.

I had entered an emporium specialising in the manufacture and sale of their exquisite ‘Mint cake’. Myself and the other customers all knew that this was a euphemism for the sale of heroin in the shape of the famous minted sweet, but it was tolerated by the local council, as it kept the sale of hard drugs refined to a small shop in the town centre, rather than dingy alleyways and housing estates. It also meant that the local addicts had nice smelling breath. I had selected a large block of the brownish dark Afghan mint cake and took it to the till, where my eyes locked with a sultry beauty.

From the waist up she was wearing a smart suit, but below she had on filthy leggings, smeared with paint and mud. I realised that it was the newsreader Moira Stewart. In her hand was a block of the same cake as I had selected, our eyes met and we both smiled. She smelled of poppies and mint.

We both knew immediately that we were meant to be together, and we went for a Wimpy in the nearby shopping centre. Over lunch we talked and talked, she accidentally spat chips onto my face, but we glossed over it, and I think it was forgotten about by the end of the meal. She invited me back to her antique brass barge which was tied up just out of town. We walked down the towpath hand in hand and spent the evening watching her recordings of illegal cockfighting, while in a blissful opiate haze.

I didn’t remember going to bed but I awoke next to her, and I knew that I was never going to leave. During the day she would ride to London on the back of a trained Doberman and return on the train. She explained the economics of this to me, saying that it was more cost effective to travel on the back of a dog, but I didn’t understand, I just nodded and smiled. She even drew a diagram, but I still couldn’t understand how she could afford to leave a fresh Doberman in London every day, and still get the train back. I didn’t labour the point, as I was very much in love. If only I had realised then, I could have saved myself a lot of trouble.

Posted a while back on biffo.

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My 3rd year project GBA game. First game I've ever made, and I'm not an artist at all, so I'm really pleased with how I got it looking (even if some of the background tiles are nicked from Megaman...). Its not the best game in the world by a long shot, but I'm really happy with how its turned out.

*oh, and this is what the first version looked like ;)


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  • 2 weeks later...

Rooms in A1N3

A "beta" version of a reworked Flash thing I did ages ago that had 3x3 grids that could be explored in first-person. It's basically something I did after finding a roundabout way of referencing external movie clips from within other movie clips. The result is that instead of having a single 3x3 room with an enemy in (which is what A1N3 was), I can have a drag 'n' drop room as a movie clip, stick each room into a frame of another movie clip, and then when the player leaves one room in the game, it goes to the next room by going to the next frame in the movie clip.

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My mate asked me what I was doing, and I told him about the Soong thread. Then he asked if I could put him in with a TARDIS.


So I did. I like this one the most, cos it's arty, like.

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