Jump to content
IGNORED

Which movie would end quickest if all the characters acted logically?


MarkN
 Share

Recommended Posts

This popped up in my Facebook feed, and seemed like a fun thing thing to ponder. I didn't spend too long reading the comments (because I tend to act logically ;) ), but this was a good'un:

 

Quote

Oh... okay we have clearly made a mistake here, this is the wrong guy and the wrong house. Let's leave quietly without pissing on his rug. It really ties the room together.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've always had this imaginary cut of Speed in my head which goes something like:

 

"There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?!"

"I wouldn't hit 50 in the first place"

*credits*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Anna, your sister accidentally hurt you, but you're all healed now. Elsa, you can keep playing with Anna, but please stop using your magical ice powers to make dangerous indoor snow towers."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, Doctor Shark said:


Shark would still have eaten other people, though? 


How do you know seen as though we are being so picky?
 

It might have eaten a seal instead of poor Chrissy,  and thus having sated it’s appetite moved on from the Amity vicinity, without ever acquiring the taste for human flesh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Waggo said:


How do you know seen as though we are being so picky?
 

It might have eaten a seal instead of poor Chrissy,  and thus having sated it’s appetite moved on from the Amity vicinity, without ever acquiring the taste for human flesh.


I guess we’ll never know…

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Hey, these things look like eggs”

 

”don’t stick your face next to one”

 

”ok let’s go home” 

 

or alternatively 

 

“He’s got something stuck on his face!”

 

”we must observe proper quarantine protocol!”

 

”you’re absolutely right, Ripley, let’s do that”. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Doctor Shark said:

“Hey, these things look like eggs”

 

”don’t stick your face next to one”

 

”ok let’s go home” 

 

or alternatively 

 

“He’s got something stuck on his face!”

 

”we must observe proper quarantine protocol!”

 

”you’re absolutely right, Ripley, let’s do that”. 

 

 


“Let’s leave a flight crew on the Sulaco in case anything happens to the dropship.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, papalazarou said:

Robocop…. You have 10 seconds to comply…. Ok I comply….. you have complied you are now under Arrest….  ed209 the future of law enforcement of old Detroit 


“Murphy, we shouldn’t go in there, we need backup”

 

”You’re absolutely right, let’s wait for the cavalry and go in by force”. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

24 minutes ago, Alex W. said:

If I was sending a mission to Jupiter, I simply wouldn’t give the computer two conflicting directives.

 

Yeah, but the movie would still begin with the 20 minute long Dawn of Man sequence, so avoiding all the HAL stuff wouldn't end the film that much more quickly. :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 minutes ago, MarkN said:

That would be a shame though. One of my absolute favourite movies.

 

Oh i hate it. :lol:

 

Spoiler

It contrives to reach the point very early where Bill Paxton's Hank will murder an innocent person to protect his brother and the money, before that contriving that his brother is burning with a desire to tell everyone of them finding a plane, because of course.

 

Yes, money corrupts even good people, no shit. I think the film can still get there without making the big leap so early of good guy Hank killing someone, because for me once he does that, it is the worst thing he can possibly do, so where can he and the film go from there? Make the murder his brother and make it late so we see him going all Gollum gradually. Him and his wife get away with it, enjoy the money it fades on his face in front of a fire in some fancy house. Yes, that isn't original either, but where it went i didn't go with.

 

Then all the stuff about Hank recording a confession of sorts of his mate, and then playing the tape to the guy right in front of him, as though he isn't going to get angry, and Hank is seemingly oblivious to this. Hank is asked to give the tape over and stands there not doing it despite a gun being aimed at him, then eventually his brother shoots the mate because you have to give the tape over Hank. Situations escalate when people are angry and you aren't providing a solution, that's how things go Hank.

 

Then the wife gets upset and Hank just bumbles into holding the shotgun over her, but the writers need to contrive a way for him to shoot her, so she scuttles off to the kitchen to get her gun to defend herself because Hank's brother just shot her husband and he just pointed a gun at her. So the writers are like; well Hank isn't a cold bloodied killer quite yet, he did suffocate that old guy 25 minutes in but that guy was old who cares. No he has to be smart and naive at the same time, what about turning the light on and being unable to see, self defence, something like that? She shoots first, she shoots first, he's apparently horrified by this whole situation he literally started then blasts her away with the shotgun, she goes flying and it's funny, black comedy. Just the way he bumbles in there apparently innocuously like 'no wait, everything is fine'. Obviously, Hank is no smarter than the others despite thinking he is, but i don't think there's a more contrived film.

 

It is watchable in a late night film kind of way though.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Qazimod said:

I've always had this imaginary cut of Speed in my head which goes something like:

 

"There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?!"

"I wouldn't hit 50 in the first place"

*credits*

 

Keanu wasn't driving the bus, dude. He did try to catch the bus and inform the driver on time, but he was too late. And even if he succeeded, Dennis Hopper was still a wanted man.

 

No, I don't think you've watched the film at all!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. Use of this website is subject to our Privacy Policy, Terms of Use, and Guidelines.