"Should my husband spend less time playing video games?"

[Bacon Horsemeat]

On 30/04/2022 at 19:58, robdood said:

Ultimately, I think about it like this: if hanging out with your partner isn't one of the things you look forward to doing after 'chores' then you're probably not really in the relationship any more. You shouldn't stay for the sake of kids, and you definitely shouldn't stay and hide away playing videogames in your man cave instead of facing up to the fact that you should probably call it a day but you find it too terrifying to bring up. 

 

Ahem. 

That's a lot of broken homes 

[robdood]

40 minutes ago, Bacon Horsemeat said:

That's a lot of broken homes 

It is, I wonder why many people live in these strange, unfulfilling relationships? Don't get me wrong, I've done it several times in my life

 

I also wonder whether the culture we live in fosters healthy relationships.  Think about how relationships are portrayed in the media. 

 

Reminds me of an interesting chat I had with a good mate of mine.  He's muslim and his partnership with his wife was pre-arranged, decided for him.  However, what was interesting is how he described people from his culture view a relationship.  From the outset, it's a partnership, there's an acknowledgment of having to learn to live together, that it's essentially a job you both have to figure out together, to create a family and stuff.   From this, strong bonds can form and people sometimes ending truly loving and respecting each other. (of course I know this isn't true across the board)

 

Whereas, I'd say with a more western / British cultural lens on it, it's the other way around.  The relationships start as ROMANTIC.  About LOVE and other fleeting, intense, full on emotional states.  About sex and physcial attraction. It's about everything being exciting and COMPLETING the other person.  About doing anything for them.  Then eventually you try and knuckle down to the family / job bit.  And I dunno, it definitely seems that it's harder to learn how to be a team when you started with the really exicting bit.  It's like expectations aren't set properly. 

 

Dunno if that makes sense, I've drunk / smoked too much today and just work up from a post lunch nap!

[dataDave]

On 30/04/2022 at 20:42, Monkeyspill said:

If I’m playing a game, or watching something on TV, my wife will sit right next to me watching a loud Thai reality show on her phone. I have to use headphones if it’s something I actually need to listen to. Or I just use subtitles.

Same. Just replace Thai reality show with Taiwanese ‘talk’ show where you have a studio full of people each equipped with a microphone all shouting over one another at the same time with blistering sound effects randomly slapped on top.

 

Here:

[Bacon Horsemeat]

I love the contrast between west and eastern trash shows. In the west, generally the onscreen graphics is minimal... supplement, not overwhelm. Whereas eastern shows its "HERE IS ALL THE DATA WE HAVE GATHERED WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR BRAIN IS OVERTAXED LOOK AT ALL THE LOVELY INFORMATION PRESENTED WITH CLIP ART PICS"

[Monkeyspill]

2 hours ago, Fallows said:

Same. Just replace Thai reality show with Taiwanese ‘talk’ show where you have a studio full of people each equipped with a microphone all shouting over one another at the same time with blistering sound effects randomly slapped on top.

 

Here:

Not watching that. But Thai TV does the sound effects thing and it does my head in. It’s just a pure wall of noise that is somehow really loud even coming from a phone speaker.

[Darwock]

5 hours ago, Bacon Horsemeat said:

I love the contrast between west and eastern trash shows. In the west, generally the onscreen graphics is minimal... supplement, not overwhelm. Whereas eastern shows its "HERE IS ALL THE DATA WE HAVE GATHERED WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR BRAIN IS OVERTAXED LOOK AT ALL THE LOVELY INFORMATION PRESENTED WITH CLIP ART PICS"

Same applies to the covers of comics and magazines. Here is the cover of a typical monthly comic anthology in Japan:

 

 

[Quest]

My wife also watches a load of those talk shows. They don't bother me at all really, though I do find it distracting when they suddenly use a familiar sound effect from Worms or something.

[Ste Pickford]

6 hours ago, Darwock said:

Same applies to the covers of comics and magazines. Here is the cover of a typical monthly comic anthology in Japan:

 

 

That's a work of art.

[LaveDisco]

On 30/04/2022 at 19:58, robdood said:

Ultimately, I think about it like this: if hanging out with your partner isn't one of the things you look forward to doing after 'chores' then you're probably not really in the relationship any more. You shouldn't stay for the sake of kids, and you definitely shouldn't stay and hide away playing videogames in your man cave instead of facing up to the fact that you should probably call it a day but you find it too terrifying to bring up. 

 

Ahem. 

 

 

Whilst I agree with this, the important part is the word 'one'. I love my partner, but we are both still individuals. All elements of a balanced, healthy life need to exist. I think lots of people struggle in relationships because they forget that.

 

Like I don't get the part where people are unhappy with the way their evening plays out, and don't want to chat about it.

 

On week nights, when we get home and after we've finished catching up, the inevitable question is 'what do you fancy doing this evening?'. Post COVID and a kid, when more often than not we are exhausted, the answers are a lot more boring than they used to be when going out was still on the cards. Sometimes it's 'watch something together' - sometimes it's 'Separate Things' when we divide up the big TV, but stay curled up together on the couch. Sometimes we third it, lets have an some time alone each, then come back together to watch or play something together. Sometimes we play a board game. Sometimes we want to be quiet and read, and ignore each other all night. Sometimes we just want to chat. 

 

If I've had a shitty day, she'll know I just need to not talk about it, and  'shoot some people'. and play a game all evening. I was an only child and 'alone time' is something I need. And if she's had a shitty day, I know she needs to get it off her chest, but then watch 'shrieky ladies' (Real Housewives) to move past it. She doesn't want to play 'trash' games, and I don't want to watch 'trash' tv. But we both need those things in our lives.

 

When choosing movies or shows to watch I can't recommend enough giving up on compromises. We do a thing where I'll choose a short list of three or so things that I think look great, then she chooses from it. She gets choice, and I get to see something I really want to see. Then next time roles reverse. Watching middle of the road mediocre stuff that neither offends nor pleases, makes both of you resentful. 

[smac]

On 02/05/2022 at 09:23, Ste Pickford said:

That's a work of a lot of art.

 

FTFY!

 

[MattyP]

On 29/04/2022 at 11:51, Benny said:

This just comes down to the great morass of media pundits always trying to be the custodians of what are the most "worthy" ways to spend your time, because the idea that anyone might be enjoying themselves in life much more than them in ways that they don't understand or approve of is enormously existentially scary to them.

Absolutely who is anyone to judge?!

 

Personally I find it's all a balance and that balance is dependant on each and every relationship and what people find acceptable. There is no wrong or right. 

 

[mikeyl]

If anyone was hanging on for the result, 

 

36% of you said no – Jim is innocent
64% of you said yes – Jim is guilty

 

I don’t know how these Guardian Judge Judy and executions work but I guess the punishment of Jim being found guilty is that he will now be forced to replace all his computer games with DVDs of Fleabag and take her out leafleting for the Lib Dems

 

[SuperFamiTom]

45 minutes ago, mikeyl said:

and take her out leafleting for the Lib Dems

 

😂

[Rex Grossman]

3 hours ago, mikeyl said:

If anyone was hanging on for the result, 

 

36% of you said no – Jim is innocent
64% of you said yes – Jim is guilty

 

I don’t know how these Guardian Judge Judy and executions work but I guess the punishment of Jim being found guilty is that he will now be forced to replace all his computer games with DVDs of Fleabag and take her out leafleting for the Lib Dems

 

And be forced to eat the recipes from Feast on a Saturday.

[mikeyl]

59 minutes ago, Rex Grossman said:

And be forced to eat the recipes from Feast on a Saturday.

“Jim, could you make sure you get the sourdough out of the oven. Jim? JIIIMM!??!”

[Dr Nookie]

On 29/04/2022 at 11:49, chris on the moon said:

It sounds like a miserable relationship 

Only for her - he’s loving it. 

[MW_Jimmy]

 

Haha - this week is great!

 

Should I let my boyfriend have three game consoles?

 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jul/15/you-be-the-judge-should-i-let-my-boyfriend-have-three-games-consoles

 

 

[Qazimod]

Quote

I realised the only reason he was keeping his Xbox 360 was to play one game, Guitar Hero. I love Guitar Hero, it’s a classic, but I told Max, “If you’re keeping this console just for one game, you’d better play it.”

 

Clearly Max should have used Outrun Online Arcade as his defence.

[Camel]

Lot of “let” and “allow” going on there. Maybe he’s actually her son.

[Benny]

We have three threads talking about this now. Well done, everyone. Justice for Max!

[K]

Why does he need a 360, an Xbox One, and a Series X/S? Surely just buy a new Xbox, sell the Xbox One, and keep the 360 in a cupboard for the occasions when he wants to play Guitar Hero. If he wants a PS5, keep the Xbox One, but put the 360 in a cupboard for now

 

I had a lot of sympathy for the lady in the original post, but this just seems like a very easily resolved argument. A lot of people don't like having a front room full of plastic electronic boxes with marginally differing functionality - which is fair enough, the guy needs to compromise a bit here - but this is hardly a irresolvable situation.

[Benny]

Trying to bring sensible thought into this is how they get you.

[MW_Jimmy]

4 minutes ago, Benny said:

We have three threads talking about this now. Well done, everyone. Justice for Max!

 

We should keep one of the threads in storage. Three is just too many.

[Benny]

I have a sentimental attachment to the Peak Guardian one though, I might want to use it one day.

[deKay]

22 minutes ago, MW_Jimmy said:

 

Haha - this week is great!

 

Should I let my boyfriend have three game consoles?

 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jul/15/you-be-the-judge-should-i-let-my-boyfriend-have-three-games-consoles

 

 

 

Wait until she finds out some boyfriends have three of the *same* console.

[deKay]

Actually, any boyfriend who 1) sits like this, 2) owns consoles like those (those controllers!), and 3) wears those trousers, needs to be ejected into a jet engine.

 

[Haribokart]

 

"Sup"

[robdood]

I give this couple about 2 years.  Sounds like they moved in together a bit quick! 

[deKay]

Just now, robdood said:

I give this couple about 2 years.  Sounds like they moved in together a bit quick! 

 

Depends. When is the new Xbox out?

[spanx]

On 02/05/2022 at 12:55, LaveDisco said:

When choosing movies or shows to watch I can't recommend enough giving up on compromises. We do a thing where I'll choose a short list of three or so things that I think look great, then she chooses from it. She gets choice, and I get to see something I really want to see. Then next time roles reverse. Watching middle of the road mediocre stuff that neither offends nor pleases, makes both of you resentful.

I like this. Going to suggest this to my wife. We’re both pretty good at doing the split of solo and shared pursuits but choosing movies is a bloody nightmare.