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Rate the Die Hards!


Doctor Shark
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Rate the Die Hard  

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I mean there should be no goddamn competition here, but I'm doing it anyway.

 

Also, if you can believe it, when I thought of doing this topic I genuinely through there were only 3 Die Hard films - my mind had forgotten about 4 and 5. Then it remembered....fuck you, brain. Fuck. You. I legitimately had to google the plots etc of 4 and 5 because I couldn't remember them - all I remember from 4 was that cringey bit with Kevin Smith and the bit with the jet fighter. I didn't remember a single thing about 5 except that Jai Courtney was in it. Fucking shite.

 

Ok, so for me:

 

Best Film - Die Hard

How could it not be? The original and the best, although Die Hard with a Vengeance is comfortably in second place.

 

Best version of McClane - Die Hard

That vest! The bare feet! When you think of John McClane, when anybody parodies John McClane, if anyone ever dresses up like John McClane...this is the look they go for.

 

Best bad guy - Hans Gruber

Again, the original and best. He's suave, he's sophisticated and he's an exceptional thief (although he does move up to kidnapping). The role that made Alan Rickman, the bad guy that made Die Hard.

 

Best sidekick - Zeus Carver

This was a tough one cus Sgt Al Powell is great, but Samuel L Jackson as Zeus Carver is just that much better, overall, for me.

 

Best plot - Die Hard - stealing millions from the Nakatomi vault

So simple, yet such a great plot. One man vs dozens of bad guys to save his wife. The plot of the second film is guff, the plot of the third film is fun but silly and the less said about 4 and 5, the better.

 

Best action scene - Die Hard: McClane jumps off the roof

Die Hard has so many amazing scenes but, if I had to - HAD TO - pick just one, it'd be when McClane jumps off the rough after shooting at the FBI chopper. It's just like fucking Saigon!

 

Best tagline - Die Hard: Suspense, excitement, adventure, on every level!

This was on the front of the VHS box we had when I was growing up, so it is the one I think of most.

 

Bonus question: Yes, Die Hard is a Christmas movie!

 

 

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To rank the films, I go 1, 3, 2, 4 and then 5, but that doesn't quite do justice to the distance between them.

 

So consider me striking a football from the halfway line towards the opposition goal. Die Hard is represented by an unstoppable shot that rockets into the opposing goal. Vengeance has the keeper scrabbling but it sails narrowly over the bar, and Die Hard 2 is a solid effort but you'd back the keeper to make the save. Die Hard 4 goes out for a throw in.

 

Die Hard 5 has gone backwards and left the solar system.

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I refuse to watch 5. In my mind its doesn't exist. Watch 16 blocks instead, it's more of a Die Hard film than 4 (and I presume 5) ever was.

 

Everything I voted for is currently in the lead other than I really like the heist/plot in 3. Sending John and the police around the City to do menial tasks so they can rob the federal reserve right under everyone's nose. It's clever.

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I know the original trilogy really really well and the failure to include the Annex sequence of Die Harder, as part of the best action sequences, is criminal. I chose the snow mobile section, yep that whole section and build up is amazing, but the Annex sequence blows it out of the water, imo.

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Should have been a best one liner category as well.

 

‘Yippee Ki Yay’ would undoubtedly win, but I would probably go for ‘How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?’ or maybe ‘Your just the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time’.  
 

Give Die Hard 2 a chance to win something.

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4 hours ago, gizmo1990 said:

I know the original trilogy really really well and the failure to include the Annex sequence of Die Harder, as part of the best action sequences, is criminal. I chose the snow mobile section, yep that whole section and build up is amazing, but the Annex sequence blows it out of the water, imo.

 

What do I look like to you?

 

A sitting duck BLAM

 

Also that guy that gets crushed by the falling scaffolding makes me wince every time.

 

Amazing scene.

 

My Die Hard order goes like this 

 

1, 2=3........4.......saw a clip on TV and it looked shit 5  

 

2 is just as good as 3 and supremely underrated as far as action sequels go. It ticks all the boxes - bloody, violent action, real stunts n squibs, stupid police chief, proper bad guys, novelty deaths, awesome set pieces, great one liners. Also it ties into Commando, what's not to love? 

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1 hour ago, Down by Law said:

2 is just as good as 3 and supremely underrated as far as action sequels go. It ticks all the boxes - bloody, violent action, real stunts n squibs, stupid police chief, proper bad guys, novelty deaths, awesome set pieces, great one liners. Also it ties into Commando, what's not to love? 

 

Absolutely, I've never understood the arrows thrown at the sequel, it's a top tier actioner for me too. The original is rightly untouchable, but the second cranked the bombastic action up even higher and is such an enjoyable watch. Pips 3 for me tho!

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Yeah I am totally on board with the Die Hard 2 appreciation club, as it works fine as an action sequel.

 

Also it is loosely based on the Iran Contra scandal, so there is a germ of truth in the actual plot.

 

On top of that you can’t help smiling at the comparison of the doomed airliner to British Rail seconds before it disintegrates in flames, even if they do incinerate Miles O’ Brien in the process.

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15 Reasons Why Die Hard IS a Christmas Film

  1. It's set at Christmas
  2. It has Christmas songs on the soundtrack
  3. A main character is called Holly
  4. The action is set at Nakatomi Plaza, which shares many of the same letters as Nazareth...
  5. ...and much of the action is based on the 34th floor, which echoes Miracle on 34th Street, another famous Christmas film
  6. McClane's desire to reunite with his estranged wife and children is a common trope of classic Christmas films, and where the idyllic harmony of the festive period is threatened by external factors that must be overcome by the protagonist (see, for example, It's A Wonderful Life, Home Alone, Gremlins, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Jingle All The Way)
  7. Gruber = Grinch = Christmas theft
  8. Before shooting Takagi, Hans Gruber says he will count to a three. There will not be a four. Three represents the holy trinity.
  9. "Now I have a machine gun: Ho-ho-ho" / "Twas the night before Christmas..." / "It's the time of miracles"...

  10. ...and a miracle does indeed happen when the FBI opens the bank vault
  11. McClane welcomes a friend to the (Christmas) party
  12. The blood of McClane flows freely, as did the blood of Jesus Christ did
  13. Just as Father Christmas passes through chimneys to deliver presents, so McClane passes through ventilation ducts to deliver justice...
  14. ...and this justice is ultimately delivered in the form of a gun taped to McClane's back with Christmas parcel tape
  15. It snows at the end
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