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The difficulty of buying a decent games mag.


angel
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Why cant i pay less than a fiver for a decent official mag, some good demos, some reasonably discerning reviews and some interesting feature or other. Why is the magazine world filled with:

Read the OFFICIAL VERDICT inside/next month. Official mags are obviously the worst, telling you that their score is as good as the entire industry opinion condensed into a single mark. Surely a huge cheek.

Reviewers telling you about their life in the review..how they came back from the pub to play the game and it 'rocks'. You mean Launderette surely..on your own..on a friday night..and your a freelancer writing heavily edited shit by the tonne and havent enjoyed a game in 6 years. Hey I'l trust 40 quid of my money to your verdict mate...tell me again how great Angel of Darkness is.

'WORLD EXCLUSIVE'. Fuck off.

Smug editorials about 'exciting times'.

Letters pages asking for cheats. Are you telling me people will wait 2 months for a letter to be published asking how to beat a 'boss' Sometimes its even the 1st few levels. Come on, Its all made up. Can we admit this now pls.

Editorialised 'news' about how Sony/MS/Nintendo are planning future domination with their introdution of....ta da...new colours and a £20 price cut!

Reviews full of boxes explaining obvious features, showing me how to beat bosses, telling me the unlockables. Any chance of knowing if its got a 60hz option mr magazine? No? Oh. How silly of me.

Can anyone explain who is buying / how on earth is the Official Playstation One magazine still going? Demo of Tomb Raider 3 you say? Get in! What the hell are they reviewing.

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Why cant i pay less than a fiver for a decent official mag, some good demos, some reasonably discerning reviews and some interesting feature or other. Why is the magazine world filled with:

[list of things]

I agree with almost oll of these.

Does ugvm offend in any of these ways?

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Easy, dont buy offical magazines.

Im sure many of the writters do go to the pub and do enjoy games, just because they play games doesnt mean they are geeks, ive met many people in the games industry and they are normal people with normal lives, many with wifes and kids.

And yes most letters people write are crap, but some offer email replies at the same time as publishing the letter, also its just someones thoughts on the game, you dont have to trust them, they are just giving you their view, no ones forcing you to believe it, thats up to you, they are giving you an insight into the game.

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Easy, dont buy offical magazines.

Im sure many of the writters do go to the pub and do enjoy games, just because they play games doesnt mean they are geeks, ive met many people in the games industry and they are normal people with normal lives, many with wifes and kids.

And yes most letters people write are crap, but some offer email replies at the same time as publishing the letter, also its just someones thoughts on the game, you dont have to trust them, they are just giving you their view, no ones forcing you to believe it, thats up to you, they are giving you an insight into the game.

My God, man. I'm out of breath just reading that.

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You'll just have to keep flicking through the Super Plays, I'm afraid.

Modern magazines = no fun.

Are there any magazines on the go that feature that distinct Your Sinclair style of irreverent humour?

Obviously there's Biffo in Edge, who has taken the style to a whole new level.

PC Zone inherited it to a certain extent, but apart from Steve Hill, all the genuinely amusing writers (Charlie Brooker, David McCandless) seem to have left.

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I'm assuming you have all sixty-eight binders? They're worth twelve hundred pounds each you know!

I have the sixty-ninth binder too. I am teh 1337.

Note that an offer indicates a legally-binding contract. Pay up or I'll send the Heavies round.

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