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I May Destroy You - BBC Masterpiece


kerraig UK
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Yeah, I was the same with Ben.

 

Another not that confused me, in Italy we see her going into the sea, but do we see her coming out? I can’t remember that, but I’m sure I’ve seen stills of it - maybe on the programme thumbnail or something?

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46 minutes ago, ZOK said:

Yeah, I was the same with Ben.

 

Another not that confused me, in Italy we see her going into the sea, but do we see her coming out? I can’t remember that, but I’m sure I’ve seen stills of it - maybe on the programme thumbnail or something?

They're was a blink and you'll miss it flash of her getting out in the final episode, IIRC.

 

 

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On 16/07/2020 at 08:40, Peb Kacharach said:

 

Will the gentleman require a cushion for his plate?

 

And also a bib for his palate? Though come the end of the year no eating will be required. 

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4 hours ago, Danster said:

They're was a blink and you'll miss it flash of her getting out in the final episode, IIRC.

 

 


Yes, that bit was what made me think I’d missed it somehow...but in reality I guess it was more modernism.

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I think this is the best TV programme since The Sopranos. It's the first time since The Sopranos that, over the course of an hour, I can go from being scared, sad, amused, relieved and depressed. I've also been thinking about it constantly since I've been watching it and I can't put my finger on why. I don't think 'this is great acting/writing/directing/soundtrack' whilst I'm watching it. I just watch it.

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1 hour ago, chris on the moon said:

I've watched 4 episodes so far. I think it nught be good but don't think I'm enjoying it. I just feel terrible the whole time I'm watching it. Might have laughed a couple of times, but its almost entirely people in danger having bad things happen to them. 

 

That's what a lot of people think is good tv. I prefer stuff like Gilnore Girls. Life's hard enough.

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17 hours ago, chris on the moon said:

I've watched 4 episodes so far. I think it nught be good but don't think I'm enjoying it. I just feel terrible the whole time I'm watching it. Might have laughed a couple of times, but its almost entirely people in danger having bad things happen to them. 

 

There's a lot in the world that is uncomfortable to come to terms with. If you're a straight, white man, there's so much in this show that is critically important to understand, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes you.

 

It should be seen by everyone, especially those who are insulated from the issues portrayed. Not only is it a great character study, it's a fucking magnificent teaching tool and lens on life for those of us who are so cosseted. 

 

Please stick with it, I'd be really surprised if you didn't find it uplifting and enlightening by the end.

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4 hours ago, schmojo said:

 

There's a lot in the world that is uncomfortable to come to terms with. If you're a straight, white man, there's so much in this show that is critically important to understand, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes you.

 

It should be seen by everyone, especially those who are insulated from the issues portrayed. Not only is it a great character study, it's a fucking magnificent teaching tool and lens on life for those of us who are so cosseted. 

 

Please stick with it, I'd be really surprised if you didn't find it uplifting and enlightening by the end.

This is quite condescending.

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6 hours ago, chris on the moon said:

This is quite condescending.

If there's one way to put me off watching a show it's being told it's for my own good.

 

I really enjoyed this series but it was very uncomfortable viewing at times.  Not because I'm a straight, white, cis male but because I've a friend who was raped as a teenager. I stuck with it and as schmojo says, I did find the ending uplifting. So yeah, I'd suggest sticking with it because I think it's a really well constructed, sympathetically told story. Not because I assume you need educating on issues relating to people outside of your immediate culture.

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On 26/07/2020 at 13:09, schmojo said:

 

There's a lot in the world that is uncomfortable to come to terms with. If you're a straight, white man, there's so much in this show that is critically important to understand, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes you.

 

It should be seen by everyone, especially those who are insulated from the issues portrayed. Not only is it a great character study, it's a fucking magnificent teaching tool and lens on life for those of us who are so cosseted. 

 

Please stick with it, I'd be really surprised if you didn't find it uplifting and enlightening by the end.

 

On 26/07/2020 at 23:44, schmojo said:

Maybe there's something you don't know.

 

I watched the rest of it over the weekend. Now I want you to explain which of the issues I wasn't aware of, and why watching this BBC drama series was the medium in which I had to learn about them.

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On 13/07/2020 at 12:30, Pete said:

Finished! I guess that I thought both episode eight and ten were the last tells me that I had no idea what to expect from the end...

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But I loved it, even if most of it went over my head.

 

Kwarma's story was the most straightforward, I do feel he didn't do much wrong by not saying he was gay, but I'll be interested to know what others think about that. As someone who isn't happy with the gay or straight label for myself it raises lots of questions!

 

I don't really know what to make of Arabella's story. She seems to be in a better place after working through possible outcomes and deciding to do nothing?

 

 

I agree with you about Kwame's story line

I think it's was a bit harsh that he got labelled a predator for not disclosing his sexuality before - I don't really think who he previously slept with matters? or maybe I wish that Kwame at least got to call her out on her homophobia during their last encounter

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59 minutes ago, chris on the moon said:

 

 

I watched the rest of it over the weekend. Now I want you to explain which of the issues I wasn't aware of, and why watching this BBC drama series was the medium in which I had to learn about them.

 

If you don't think you learnt anything from such a brave, honest, and personal voice (that is, presumably, not your own), then we're very different people.

 

That said, if you've already encountered the many fascinating, intersecting, difficult topics that are brought up in this, great. That's not a bad thing at all.

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12 hours ago, Delargey said:

 

I agree with you about Kwame's story line

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I think it's was a bit harsh that he got labelled a predator for not disclosing his sexuality before - I don't really think who he previously slept with matters? or maybe I wish that Kwame at least got to call her out on her homophobia during their last encounter

 

I do think she's the bad person there. Her refusal to accept an apology and go all social media on his ass is very on trend unfortunately.

 

In regards to the other debate, the fact people don't like it because it's uncomfortable isn't a bad thing at all. It's not meant to be an easy watch, being in your 20s and out there today is complicated and potentially dangerous. 

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I found the Kwame storyline slightly odd. Was she annoyed that he'd strung her along, or that he was gay? If the latter, then Kwame being painted as the bad guy is in stark contrast to the August Ames situation, a porn actress who killed herself after refusing to perform with bisexual actors and being absolutely vilified for it. There are questions over it being the real reason she killed herself but she definitely got lots of abuse for her views.

 

Much like other parts of the show, parts of the storyline were grey due to the girl's homophobic attitude, but it definitely seemed to paint him as being in the wrong.

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1 hour ago, ZOK said:

He was in the wrong! He deceived her into having sex with him by pretending he was straight - or concealing that he was gay. There’s no more to it than that.

 

He authentically wanted to sleep with her though, so he wasn't being deceptive, if she wasn't homophobic his previous partners wouldn't (and shouldn't) have factored?

 

I don't think he was pretending to be straight but he was exploring his sexuality. He was elusive about his past, though, which, I guess is wrong but 

I don't think it makes him predatory. Obviously her homophobia coloured how she saw the encounter. The show has a richness of characters that delves into shades of grey so I think this is fair enough but I wish he had called her on it.

 

Similarly Terry's trans date didn't tell her his history even when asked, only after she she discovered it independently but that scene was portrayed quite differently.

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You may not think it predatory, but it is, and there’s no debate to be had. Unless you also think it’s okay to conceal that you’re married to get someone in to bed, for example.
 

I guess if you don’t think concealing who you are to gain a sexual partner because you know the truth will likely prevent you from doing so isn’t predatory, then the definition of predatory becomes fairly irrelevant anyway.

 

There’s no analogy with Terry’s trans man date, of course. He was open about it, as we saw. If they’d had sex, it would have been an informed decision.

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1 hour ago, ZOK said:

You may not think it predatory, but it is, and there’s no debate to be had. Unless you also think it’s okay to conceal that you’re married to get someone in to bed, for example.
 

I guess if you don’t think concealing who you are to gain a sexual partner because you know the truth will likely prevent you from doing so isn’t predatory, then the definition of predatory becomes fairly irrelevant anyway.

 

There’s no analogy with Terry’s trans man date, of course. He was open about it, as we saw. If they’d had sex, it would have been an informed decision.

 

He wasn't open about it, he was avoided the question. Terry had to actively investigate him *then* he revealed it.

 

I don't think the marriage equates as that relates to an on going relationship whilst Kwame's sexuality related to his *previous* preferences.

 

Kwame shouldn't have to announce he was because there isn't anything wrong with having sex with men, similarly he shouldn't have to announce if he previously slept with white or black people.

 

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Delargey said:

 

He wasn't open about it, he was avoided the question. Terry had to actively investigate him *then* he revealed it.

 

I don't think the marriage equates as that relates to an on going relationship whilst Kwame's sexuality related to his *previous* preferences.

 

Kwame shouldn't have to announce he was because there isn't anything wrong with having sex with men, similarly he shouldn't have to announce if he previously slept with white or black people.

 

 

 

 


You’re being very fucking weird here. It’s predatory, full stop.

 

Of course there’s nothing wrong with sleeping with men if you’re gay, or of any other sexuality, but so we’re quite clear on this, INTENTIONALLY WITHHOLDING THE INFORMATION YOU ARE GAY TO MAKE SOMEONE THINK YOU’RE STRAIGHT SO YOU CAN SLEEP WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY ONLY WANT TO SLEEP WITH STRAIGHT PEOPLE AS IS THEIR RIGHT IS FUCKING PREDATORY BEHAVIOUR. 

 

I hope you can understand that. Trying to draw some tenuous parallel with this situation and with the race of previous partners is bizarre, quite frankly.

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34 minutes ago, ZOK said:


You’re being very fucking weird here. It’s predatory, full stop.

 

Of course there’s nothing wrong with sleeping with men if you’re gay, or of any other sexuality, but so we’re quite clear on this, INTENTIONALLY WITHHOLDING THE INFORMATION YOU ARE GAY TO MAKE SOMEONE THINK YOU’RE STRAIGHT SO YOU CAN SLEEP WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY ONLY WANT TO SLEEP WITH STRAIGHT PEOPLE AS IS THEIR RIGHT IS FUCKING PREDATORY BEHAVIOUR. 

 

I hope you can understand that. Trying to draw some tenuous parallel with this situation and with the race of previous partners is bizarre, quite frankly.

Not really. The whole series covered grey areas around consent. I'm inclined to agree with you that it's predatory behaviour but it's hardly black and white. And certainly not bizarre or fucking weird to suggest there's a debate to be had.

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1 hour ago, Papaya Dance said:

Not really. The whole series covered grey areas around consent. I'm inclined to agree with you that it's predatory behaviour but it's hardly black and white. And certainly not bizarre or fucking weird to suggest there's a debate to be had.


No. I can understand, as a forum that is mostly male, there are lots of practices that it’s uncomfortable for people to find out are predatory. 
 

Once again, let’s be very clear. If you are treating someone as merely an unwitting fuckhole whose intentional deception is a necessary step in satisfying your own sexual desires, you’re a predatory scumbag. There’s no debate to be had on this, and I strongly suspect those who seek to do so recognise something in themselves, to a lesser or greater extent.

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1 minute ago, ZOK said:


No. I can understand, as a forum that is mostly male, there are lots of practices that it’s uncomfortable for people to find out are predatory. 
 

Once again, let’s be very clear. If you are treating someone as merely an unwitting fuckhole whose intentional deception is a necessary step in satisfying your own sexual desires, you’re a predatory scumbag. There’s no debate to be had on this, and I strongly suspect those who seek to do so recognise something in themselves, to a lesser or greater extent.

I mean, that's not exactly what happened in the show is it. It was a lot more nuanced than that. But I can see this topic clearly touches a nerve so there's not much point debating it further. Though there is a debate to be had. No matter how loudly you say otherwise. As the many previous responses before you waded in dishing out insults demonstrate.

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4 minutes ago, Papaya Dance said:

I mean, that's not exactly what happened in the show is it. It was a lot more nuanced than that. But I can see this topic clearly touches a nerve so there's not much point debating it further. Though there is a debate to be had. No matter how loudly you say otherwise. As the many previous responses before you waded in dishing out insults demonstrate.


How does it differ? And the point can’t be debated because you either stand where I’m standing, or you stand on the side of sexual predators.


Fuck them, and those who stand with them.

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1 minute ago, ZOK said:


How does it differ? And the point can’t be debated because you either stand where I’m standing, or you stand on the side of sexual predators.


Fuck them, and those who stand with them.

You compare it to concealing that you're married, which is a legally binding agreement to monogamy. This was a consenting sexual act between two single people. They're not the same. Sexuality is a broad spectrum, I don't feel it necessary to list the genders of everyone I've previously slept with before a new partner can give informed consent. Kwame undoubtedly made a mistake but I think his intentions were good and you're making him out to be a gung ho rapist.

 

Regardless of any of the above, it's just a bit of a dick move to wade into a civilised debate and shout there's no debate to be had, I'm right and you're all dickheads.

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1 minute ago, Papaya Dance said:

You compare it to concealing that you're married, which is a legally binding agreement to monogamy. This was a consenting sexual act between two single people. They're not the same. Sexuality is a broad spectrum, I don't feel it necessary to list the genders of everyone I've previously slept with before a new partner can give informed consent. Kwame undoubtedly made a mistake but I think his intentions were good and you're making him out to be a gung ho rapist.

 

Regardless of any of the above, it's just a bit of a dick move to wade into a civilised debate and shout there's no debate to be had, I'm right and you're all dickheads.


NO IT FUCKING WASN’T.

 

Sweet Jesus, get a fucking clue son. This whole programme was wasted on you.

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