Rate the last film you watched out of 5

[Mike S]

10 hours ago, ImmaculateClump said:

I thought Re-animator was really overrated when I saw it

 

Actual madness.

[ImmaculateClump]

Aw man, even when I like a film I'm still managing to make enemies in this thread!

 

I think it's very hard to do comedy and horror together and pull it off. I found the slapstick forced and unfunny in re-animator and thought that it only served to cancel out the horror.
I can understand why it's a classic and why people love it, but it wasn't for me.

 

Evil dead 2 instantly springs to mind as a film that gets the balance just right and the comedy and horror bounce off each other and you ride that wave right to the moon.

 

From beyond had a twinkle in it's eye and it was over the top and campy at times, but it was played straight pretty much all the way through and that worked much better for me. I think he really found his feet as a director with this one.
Really great!

[Gambit]

2 hours ago, revlob said:

Blade: Trinity

I only had this on in the background while I was doing something else, but every time I looked at the screen someone was saying something incredibly stupid. The action sequences were not particularly exciting, and despite a cast including some interesting actors capable of much better, nobody seemed invested when delivering their terrible lines. Parker Posey was the best thing in this, and I'm not a big fan of her acting style. I don't remember either of the previous films being this bad. 1/5

 

The stories from the set sound incredible - https://www.denofgeek.com/movies/the-behind-the-scenes-problems-with-blade-trinity/

 

In one scene where Blade is supposed to open his eyes he refused so in the end they just used CGI.

 

 

[sandman]

Tolkien

 

I thought this was well made and well acted. The problem though, is that his life just wasn't that interesting and I thought this was nowhere near as interesting as Goodbye Christopher Robin. I liked it for what it was, its just a bit of a shame that that he didn't lead a more interesting life.

 

3/5

[DeciderVT]

Izzy Gets the Fuck Across Town (2017)

 

Mackenzie Davis plays a failed musician travelling across Los Angeles after a one night stand to break up her ex-boyfriend's engagement to her former best friend. She's convinced that getting back together will fix her life, which has spiralled into crashing on other people's sofas, crap jobs and a broken relationship with her sister, who she blames for stalling their career.

 

Spoiler

She gets to the engagement party, is rejected and is reminded that their relationship ended with them being awful to each other. Her inexplicably bland ex has a change of heart, abandons his engagement and they get back together the following day, only for Izzy to be reminded why they broke up in the first place. She realises that salvaging the relationship won't fix her life.

 

It felt like it wanted to be a lot quirkier than it is but I warmed to it in the end. In some ways it felt like the sort of low budget B-tier film that could've been released in the 90s. Quite a decent soundtrack and I liked the way it ended. And it has a bonus appearance from Annie Potts.

 

Davis is a bit typecast as the lost person with a myriad of personal issues but luckily I quite liked that.

 

3/5.

[Stig]

Top Secret (1984)

 

First time I've watched this, but I'm a big fan of Airplane and really enjoy Hot Shots 1&2 so I knew I was in pretty safe hands. 

 

The opening train/bridge gag had me in on this from the get go and the rest didn't let up. Its chock-full of some really funny punchlines and moments, including some great background jokes.

 

The shootout scene had me laughing none stop (its 3 mins or so of perfect gags) and the underwater fight was just perfectly executed, its very impressive.

 

4/5

[Sabreman]

"Let me know if there's any change in his condition"

[Stig]

4 minutes ago, Sabreman said:

"Let me know if there's any change in his condition"

 

I knew what was coming as soon as he put the phone down but it still made me laugh

[KartoffelKopf]

The Equalizer

 

Monumentally daft, flashy, trashy, ultraviolent, mostly enjoyable, 80s action throwback thriller saved pretty much single handedly by Washington. it has literally no discernible similarity to the original 80s series. 

 

Denzel Washington is Denzel motherfucking Washington so you get a hugely charismatic lead being a super cool, ice cold ex-special ops psychopath murdering everyone that has been remotely naughty and that is always fun. Fuqua is a solid director but a lot of this is straight out of a Flock of Seagulls video but it kind of fits the 80s aesthetic. 

 

If you liked Taken, you'll like this.

 

3/5 

 

Sequel is also on Netflix and I think I need to watch it. 

[ImmaculateClump]

Driven (2020)

 

I tried to go with it but it outstayed it's welcome very early on.
Nowhere near as funny or as cute as it thinks it is.

Self consciously kooky. Irritatingly, bafflingly pleased with itself.
Lots of flat footed, unearned attempts at feelgood moments that only elicit awkward cringing or outright bewilderment.

Totally dead behind the eyes.

 

*

[mash]

The Changeling (1980)

 

I read an interview where Martin Scorcese picked his top 10 scariest films, I'd seen most of them except this one so I thought I'd check it out.

 

In terms of ghost stories, there's two types. You've got the ones that go all out with special effects, jump scares and bluster and ones that rely on mood, you never really see the ghostly entity and your imagination is left to fill in the gaps. The Changeling belongs to the latter.

 

It's right up there with films like The Innocents, The Haunting and The Others. 

 

 

Incidentally, this film must have been an influence to the makers of The Others. As that film makes a direct reference to this film.

 

 

4.5/5

 

 

[Stig]

Terrifier (2016)

 

This has a great 80s looks and feel about it, with a really creepy killer and it doesn't let up on the gore at all, in fact it excels in that area. But the less said about some of the acting and the stupidity of characters the better.

 

2/5

[SeanR]

Joker 3/5

 

slow, punctuated by violence. And dull with it. But it’s a character piece. It actually gains a point for Whackhim feenicks. But that’s all. 1981 my arse.

[SeanR]

Gemini Man 0/5

 

oh my god, a green screen clusterfuck of a film. Had to turn the sound off eventually and make up the story in my head. Sub-bourne-with-clones tosh!

[SeanR]

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot 4/5

 

i enjoyed that. You may not.

[ZOK]

Swimming Pool - 4/5

 

This is another MUBI curio, a French ‘erotic thriller’ from 2003 that stars Charlotte Rampling as a burned out London crime writer. Her publisher Charles Dance sends her off to stay in his lovely French house, and just as Rampling’s getting her literary groove back Dance’s French daughter, a very hot to trot Ludivine Sagnier, turns up to turn everything upside down.

 

This is great, I’m only knocking off a point because the end is a bit ‘WTF is that it then’ but it’s sophisticated Eurononsense of a very ripe vintage indeed, and at the end you feel like you’ve been on a sexy mini break to the South of France.

[R0b]

I sprinted in here hoping it'd be Planes, Trains & Automobiles. 

[SpagMasterSwift]

Gleaming The Cube

 

Watched it as a super hero movie, spent the whole thing saying “oh shit he gonna gleam the cube!!!” Good fun.

 

3/5

[Vimster]

Money Plane (2020)

One of those low-enough-budget films where you can't quite figure out if they were going for ironic-bad and failing or this was their genuine best. Worth a watch to marvel at the open displays of lack of budget, baffling location choices, a script that felt like they'd shoehorned bits in to patch over plot holes, for Kelsey Grammer being professional, and for some of the worst CG muzzle flash and foley dubbing out there. Artificial stimulants will not make this film better, they'll just allow you to spot things that prompt more questions. As for seeing a man fuck an alligator, my money is on the gator.

 

1/5

[Stig]

2 hours ago, Rob Rule said:

I sprinted in here hoping it'd be Planes, Trains & Automobiles. 

 

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

 

Just a delight of a film, Candy and Martin are both on top form. Its funny, heartwarming and such an easy watch. Been a very long time since I saw this, so part of it felt almost new. 

 

Why are the kids so creepy though? Jeeeesh. 

 

4/5

[Raoull duke]

Hacksaw Ridge

 

Unbelievably dumb. And hacky as fuck, but watchable enough.

 

2/5

-----------------------

Vice

 

This suffered from being excessively hyped from a few places. Wasn't half bad but was expecting more. 

 

3/5

-----------------------

The Machinist

 

This really creeped me out. That big guy with the weird teeth is one of the most sinister looking people I've ever laid eyes on. I'm surprised he isn't in a lot more films where someone with a creepy/mennacing presence is needed. 

 

4/5

[Vimster]

Thelma And Louise (1991)

A rich and thrilling tale of friendship between Thelma, a sheltered housewife of an uncaring husband, and jaded waitress Louise, with the pair deciding to go away for the weekend, except a shocking turn of events leads them to be on the run, putting their relationship to the test. Ridley Scott's direction is effective, mixes drama and comedy so well, the women running through all the emotions as they get deeper into the shit. A lot of the energy here comes from the chemistry between Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon, you really buy Thelma and Louise's deep friendship. Beautifully shot too, not just the wide open countryside but the tired diners and motels, sunsets. I'd not seen this film before but was aware of the famous ending which after finally seeing it made me feel simultaneously mournful and elated, the final act of defiance was perfect, uplifting.

 

4.5/5

 

I've been writing these reviews for ages now, I am reviewing pretty much everything I watch, but reading back through these I'm aware I use the same phrases, the same flow. It makes me appreciate real reviewers with a talent to say something fresh.

[Vimster]

Pretending I'm A Superman: The Tony Hawk Video Game Story (2020)

Make no mistake, this is primarily a skateboarding documentary, the vast majority of contributors are skateboarders, there's not much in-depth discussion of the games themselves, more the impact they had on established professional skaters and kids who got into it after playing the games. It starts with some scene-setting of the rise of skateboarding in the 90s, X Games and Tony Hawk as an ambassador for skating, his involvement in the development of the first game, moved on to talk to a few musicians who were featured in the soundtrack, it's a story told in a straightforward manner. Personally I think skateboarding fans would get the most from this. If you just enjoyed the games and had no interest in skate culture or didn't have a clue who all the included skaters were, if you were expecting something about gaming, you'll be left wanting. I am definitely the latter, the games were great fun to play but I'd turn the music off and just go with the flow. One other aspect that gave me a chill was how old a lot of the contributors looked; it's easy to forget the original came out in 2000, made me feel really old.

 

3/5

[Qazimod]

Hollow Man

 

The more modern take on Invisible Man science, but here the god complex of the central character sends him down darker paths. It's really bad, but it's bad in that kind of compelling way where you keep watching just to see how dumb it ends up getting. So, I don't know, maybe if you like laughing at nonsense there's some value there?

 

2/5

[Vimster]

Had the day off work today and had no energy to do much else, so watched a load of films.

 

A Sense Of Freedom (1979)

Based on the memoirs of Glasgow hard-man Jimmy Boyle. Absolutely brutal, the violence in this is shot in a way that makes it feel even nastier, especially in prison. If there's any take-away from this it has to be that violence is a spiral downwards, prisoners and officers keeping it going, it only took a novel approach to stop it, in Jimmy's case. Hard-going at times even today, would make a good double bill with Scum, released around the same time.

 

3/5

[Triple A]

Gary the Tennis Coach

 

Just absolutely awful.  It didn’t make any sense!  Nonsensical Stifler-milking bollocks.

 

1/5

[Vimster]

The Meg (2018)

I saw a review that stated The Meg was essentially a really well-made B-movie, and I think that's spot on. It's built from cliches and caricatures, it borrows heavily from other sea-based films like Jaws and The Abyss, it goes for the obvious every time, but it's a thrilling ride with some tense set pieces. Statham plays to his strengths, in fact everyone involved knows what this is all about. It's simply a fun popcorn movie, albeit one that feels like The Asylum got given $50million - okay that's slightly unfair, but you know what I mean. Actually I watched this on Amazon Prime and all the little factoids that came up when you pause it were great, like I didn't know this was based on a novel, or Disney had the rights but they didn't want to have to compete with Deep Blue Sea. Oh and Eli Roth was attached to this but demanded too high a budget and wanted the starring role - can't even imagine that.

 

3.5/5

[ImmaculateClump]

The Rental

 

Meh. About half the way through I just stopped caring and was finding things to chuckle at. It was all a bit "too little, too late" when things finally got going.
The ending was a bit patronising as well.

Spoiler

Just show the guy looking around another rented apartment, that's enough. Everyone will get it.

Started off promising, I sort of enjoyed the first half hour.

This could and should have been a lot better. Felt like they had the ingredients to make a much better film.

 

*

[jonamok]

Underwater

 

I thought this would be worth the £1.99 rental. I was horribly wrong. Save yourself the grief, it’s an absolute turd. Ugly, stupid, boring, plotless, soggy fuckery. Offensively bad on every, single, measurable level. I would pay good money to waterboard the director with the writer’s blood.

 

Mariana Trench / 10.

 

[Vimster]

Killing Salazar aka Cartels (2016)

This had the potential to be a straightforward low-budget action thriller about some eastern-European crime lord besieged in a hotel in Romania. It had the potential to be the best Steven Seagal film for a fair number of years, mainly because he spends most of the film sat behind a table mumbling. It's certainly not as bad as The Asian Connection, a low point in Seagal's downward trajectory. And you could argue Luke Goss does a decent job with what he has. But let's face it, it's another of these over-complex STV action films that could have been simple fun with a few twists, but wants to be something more than it deserves. By the end I couldn't give a toss about anyone, who were the goodies and baddies, whether it was good for Salazar to live or die. I mean it has some tense if rather messy gun-fights, but who really gives a shit? The best thing I can say about this was Seagal gives you some exposition right near the end that honestly could have happened right at the start and saved us 90 minutes of our lives. Thank me later.

 

1/5