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Rate the last film you watched out of 5


Raoull duke
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11 hours ago, Thor said:

The Old Guard.

 

A clichéd premise attempted from an interesting angle, and an abject failure because it's so fucking stupid. This was rubbish.

 

1/5

 

And on the other side of the spectrum...

 

The Old Guard

 

I had no idea about what this was other than "action movie with Charlize Theron" so thought I'd give it a watch. So because of that the plot didn't exactly go where I was expecting. Lovely bit of nonsense, some great fight scenes, good acting (aside from the main British villain who I was told by the OH was in Harry Potter) and a decent Friday night. Would make a good double bill with the other Netflix action movie, Extraction.

 

4/5

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11 hours ago, kerraig UK said:

Rambo: Last blood

Offensive bottom feeding racist trash. But fantastically old school violent. It's awful, but it was exactly what I wanted tonight. Loved it.

1/5

I should have liked this, watched so much crap like this down the years, but yes it relies heavily on awful stereotypes in lieu of having a worthy baddie. It is a good nod to violent revenge trash though.

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Obsession (1976)

 

Bat shit crazy melodrama noir fest from Brian De Palma  released in the year of my birth.

Over the top score, shades of giallo and a ton of Hitchcock.

 

Not sure it is even worth mentioning the plot.

 

3/5

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The Old Guard

 

What a snooze fest. Slow, plodding, takes itself too seriously, wakes up a little bit at the end. But not enough to save it from being, well, just average. It has the cheek to think it's done enough to earn some kind of multi-film saga with a Marvel style end credits scene promising more films down the line. Nope, I'm out.

 

1½ out of 5

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These are a few of the movies i've watched over the past 2 weeks, with a quickfire review:

 

Eyes Wide Shut

Not nearly as profound or shocking as i remember, but everything Kubrick touches is so expertly done, it has to be admired. Nicole Kidman at this age was just the most beautiful creature alive. :wub:

4/5

 

Bird Box

I avoided this when it came out because it sounded like Netflix's answer to A Quiet Place. But i was pleasently surprised and happy that a lot of the film was them stuck in the house with the other survivors. The shouting at the kids made me giggle more than it should.

3/5

 

The Prestige

I find all of Nolan's films get better after multiple viewings and this is no exception. Solid all round even when you know the end/twist etc.

4/5

 

Life of Pi

I put this on as a background distraction when i was working but after about 10 seconds was glued to the screen from start to almost finish. I've always thought the meerkat island was a bit pointless, but everything else is spellbinding. The imagery is bold and beautiful, the CGI tiger utterly believable, and that young lad who acted the whole thing on green screen (his debut) was a delight. On a sad note: RIP Irrfan Khan who is a wonderful actor and sold the whole "story".

5/5

 

Harry Brown

I'm not a Michael Caine fan but i love him in this movie. Its an exaggerated view of teenage gang culture in this country, but its handled well and makes for compelling viewing. It has some excellent bit-part characters, the pick of the bunch being Sean Harris as the dealer who is fucking terrifying!

3/5

 

Kill List

I remember watching this back in the day and being shocked by the moments of ultra-violence, then confused by the ending, but i've seen it again since, and then once more recently, and i think its absolute genius! In the most deprived kind of way. You just don't get films like this. Its an assault on your senses that leaves you awestruck.

5/5

 

The Personal History of David Copperfield

I love Armando Iannucci's satirical work, so i didn't know what to expect from this. What it is, is the feel-good movie of 2020, and by God we need one in these dire times. This movie exudes pure joy! It's so jolly it makes me happy just typing about it. I've watched it 3 times already and it cheers me up without fail.

5/5 trust me

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The Old Guard - 2/5

 

Horrible. Terrible writing and characterisation, sub par direction and the sound and music choices were....laughable. 

 

Thank fuck I watched Oldboy afterward which I think is one of the best films ever made. 

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The Old Guard (2020)

The concept of a group of (almost) immortal warriors who have battled through the ages is ripe for potential. And yet all that is relegated to the occasional LARPing flashback amidst a pretty standard modern-day action-oriented plot. They stalk about like they have been trained in SWAT tactics, and other than a bit of swordplay and some mentions of times gone you'd be forgiven for thinking they were just more ex-army types. You don't feel the sheer weight of their experience of war, life, changes. Consequently they lack character, there's nothing to root for. The action is slick, with great hand-to-hand, generally well-shot and edited, but the rest was pretty joyless and too earnest. Presumably Theron was going for cool and aloof but it felt more robotic. It has the front to assume we want a sequel too.

 

2.5/5

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Mission Impossible Fallout - 4.5 out of 5.

 

Watched it with it being added to Netflix recently, and think it may be the best in the series so far, and I say that as someone who likes the series a lot.  It's not perfect - they still have issues with hughely predictable plot beats at times, namely

Cavils character being a bad guy - who didnt see that coming?

and as much as the series has become about exciting action scenes with bonkers, practical stuntwork (seriously, I'm pretty sure if they re-made the first, Cruise would probably look at the train/helicopter scene in the tunnel at the end and go "nah, lets just have a crack at doing it for real, I reckon I can") it does mean some of the traditional "Mission Impossible" stuff isnt quite as prominent.  By that I mean having actual situations that seem like impossible tasks that require clever solutions or some kind of trickery to pull off.  There are a couple of small ones in this, but generally its standard action fare for most of it.

 

I say standard, its really well done action fare, that cracks along at a right old pace - half the film hadnt passed, we'd had three major stunt/action scenes, with a couple of minor ones scattered through that, and it still managed to stuff more in the last half.  The plot is servicable, helped by bad guys who are unlikeable enough for you to want them to get their comeupance, and the main cast have been doing this long enough now to feel like this is natural to them.

 

Definitely recommend.

 

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Re-watched a couple of films with my folks visiting this weekend. 

 

Parasite. 

 

Stands up to repeat viewings but I can't work out what the significance of the 

Spoiler

Morse code that everyone does is

I think I enjoying it more the first time I watched it. 

 

4.5/5

 

The Straight Story.

 

Last time I watched this I had just started dating my wife, and I loved it. Was a bit worried it wouldn't hold up but there was no need to. It's a masterpiece. 

 

5/5

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Greyhound (2020)

 

Finally, I excitedly thought, an incentive to start that one year's free Apple TV we received with a recent iPad purchase.

 

Sadly, I was wrong to be excited as this was a distinctly average (at best) experience. From the slightly ropey CGI to the total lack of characterisation, via a notable lack of tension, it was hard to find much to be really impressed by here. The upside is that is a short film but that is also it's biggest flaw - this hurtles from U boat engagement to  U boat engagement without a breath, without spending any time to develop characters, and without any of the high stress and tension that  would have been ever present. This sort of naval combat was far slower, far more nerve racking, and had considerable intervals of nothing happening (bar the ever present fear of an attack) than this film suggests. 

 

Also, there appears to be almost nothing at all of worth on Apple TV+ (I've pencilled in For All Mankind and the Beastie Boys doc but that is it). It is a very weak service indeed and distinctly underwhelming...

 

2.5/5

 

 

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Thor

The first one.

It's actually really good. Thor is my favourite so I'm biased but it's a solid film. Having an OLED telly, the fight with the frost giants is way too dark but it's a 4/5 from me.

 

Everyone says Thor 2 is the worst of all the Marvel films. Iron Man 3 is a lot worse.

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Old guard. 

 

The trailer made this look like wise cracking zombie assassins kicking names and taking ass. What the film delivered was a  slow tedious study of really old people half arsed about going around and dieing then getting up and killing their surprised murderers. 

Then we spent what seemed like an hour in a plane explaining that they don't die and the new girl was one of them... In the most bored and "I really can't be bothered to explain this all over again blah blah death blah blah no idea why blah blah" way imaginable 

Then we're in France for some reason. Then an identikit evil Mark Zukaberg is wheeled out to demand something or promise to save something or make a shit ton of money or something. Then some one wanted to save some one who was dead, and they talked about that and then they died and then they were alive and they killed their surprised murderers again. 

 

Utter turgid shit. 

 

-632 out of 5

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Babyteeth

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8399664/

 

An Australian Rom-Com/melodrama about a teenage girl dying of cancer who falls in love with a drug-dealer, much to her parents horror.

 

This was pretty decent. It's funny and quite sweet. The cast are excellent and it had a nice aesthetic and style to it. It has an interesting story-telling technique where it puts captions on screen at the start of a scene telling the audience what has happened (Bad news from the doctor, An Argument at School etc). So there's no time spent on unnecessary exposition, which I thought worked quite well.

 

3.5/5

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Terminator: Dark Fate. Best Terminator film since 2, probably because they actively avoided trying to ape what had come before. Not perfect but it kept moving and had some quality  character moments. Surprisingly good. 4 time loops out of 5.

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Captain America: Civil War

 

Solid MCU stuff with tremendous set pieces and a very enjoyable story that takes a direction you wouldn't expect.  One of the best of the series IMO - loved this

 

4.5/5

 

Spider Man: Homecoming

 

Good - especially Tom Holland and Michael Keaton and I enjoyed the mentor/mentee relationship between Peter Parker and Tony Stark.  My main gripe is that it's not as good a story as the plot in the PS4 game!

 

4/5

 

Dangerous Minds

 

Michelle Pfeiffer is awesome in this story about teaching annoying children.  Bonus 1/2 point for Coolio

 

3.5/5

 

Frozen II

 

I'm really not a fan of the original, but I promised my daughter I'd watch this with her when it arrived on Disney +.  Lo and behold, I really enjoyed it!  The animation is stunning in places.  Good fun.

 

4/5

 

The Business

 

Danny facking Dyer is a proper facking geezer in this right 'ard facking film about gangsters in Spain.  'Ave it, you facking cants.  But don't facking bovver with this facking bollocks.  

 

2/5

 

Frost/Nixon

 

Quite superb performances from the 2 lead roles - pretty gripping throughout.  

 

4/5

 

Sisters

 

Had a busy week at work - Tina Fey and Amy Poehler did a good job in letting my brain rest and be entertained.  90 minutes of good titillation.  

 

3.5/5

 

Doctor Strange

 

An odd one - this looks utterly amazing in places - very Inception-esque - but it's the only MCU film thus far that my daughter had to ask what was going on!  It's a bit convoluted and thus feels out of places compared to the other films in the series.  Pretty good but a drop in quality IMO

 

3/5

 

Black Panther

 

This was a return to form.  Chadwick Boseman is an excellent lead, and he's superbly aided by Michael B Jordan who plays one of the most convincing villains of the series with aplomb.  Great stuff.

 

4/5

 

7500

 

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the only actor in this film I recognise, and does a sterling job as the co pilot of a hijacked plane, having to reason with armed terrorist.  I really like how this was shot, making it feel tense and claustrophobic throughout.

 

4/5

 

Marvellous

 

The quite beautiful, warm, feelgood story of Neil Baldwin - Stoke City's kit man.  Truly a film that fits its title - it's just marvellous and everyone should watch this.  

 

5/5

 

The Day Shall Come

 

Chris Morris' latest film was a slight letdown for me - I adored Four Lions but the jokes here don't always hit the mark despite some strong performances.

 

3/5

 

Thor: Ragnarok

 

Taika Waititi absolutely NAILS this in every conceivable way.  It's glorious from start to finish, has just the right balance of action and humour, races along at breakneck speed, has a good few plot twists and you can see that every actor is having the time of their lives.  Definitely my favourite Marvel film - I was grinning from ear to ear.

 

5/5

 

Eaten By Lions

 

Two half brothers journey to Blackpool to meet the father of one of them.  An enjoyable, inoffensive yarn that while doesn't do anything particularly original, made me smile enough to enjoy it.

 

3/5

 

Ant-Man and The Wasp

 

I'm not sure if I prefer this to the first Ant-Man film, but it's another good entry in the Marvel series.  I watched this before Infinity War and wonder if the light hearted nature of it was better suited as a relieving break between the hard hitting Infinity War/End game?

 

3.5/5

 

City of Life and Death

 

I watched this Chinese film portraying the horrific siege of Nanjing by the Japanese just prior to WW2 after someone on this thread posted a very positive review of it.  A review I agree with.  Shot in black and white, this is one of the most harrowing films I have ever seen, so it's anything but an easy watch.  But it's an important watch nonetheless and is a stunning piece of cinema.

 

4.5/5

 

The Visit

 

M Night Shyamalan directs a very enjoyable thriller about 2 kids who go to visit their maternal grandparents who they had never previously met.  The old couple really reminded me of my ex-in laws.  Which made this even more tense...

 

4/5

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Have A Good Trip... - 2/5

 

Pretty flimsy doc about psychedelics. The most interesting angle - that they’re now being tested for possible usage in the treatment of mental illnesses and depression - is just tacked on the end. I’d really like to watch 90-minutes about that, not ‘slebs chuckling about how many balls they’ve tripped.

 

VFW - 2/5

 

Hoped for OAP Green Room but it never really grabbed me. Does have some good midnight movie gore though.

 

Eight Men Out - 3/5

 

Solid 80s retelling of the Chicago ‘Black Sox’ scandal that rocked baseball in 1919. Perfect gentle afternoon viewing.

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The Truman Show

 

Another one in a long line I've went into with too high expectations after reading praise for it here. Was decent enough like, but I wasn't blown away by it. Probably would have been much better at the time. 

 

3/5 

 

Oh Brother Where Art Thou 

 

Not quite in the upper echelon of Cohen brothers films but still great. 

 

4/5

 

Hannibal

 

Well directed and acted but the writing is just shit compared to Silence of The Lambs. 

 

3/5

 

(All three on Netflix)

 

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15 hours ago, glb said:

Have A Good Trip... - 2/5

 

Pretty flimsy doc about psychedelics. The most interesting angle - that they’re now being tested for possible usage in the treatment of mental illnesses and depression - is just tacked on the end. I’d really like to watch 90-minutes about that, not ‘slebs chuckling about how many balls they’ve tripped.

 

VFW - 2/5

 

Hoped for OAP Green Room but it never really grabbed me. Does have some good midnight movie gore though.

 

Eight Men Out - 3/5

 

Solid 80s retelling of the Chicago ‘Black Sox’ scandal that rocked baseball in 1919. Perfect gentle afternoon viewing.


I must have seen Eight Men Out like thirty times...for some reason it was our regular after pub viewing when I first moved to Bristol. Great flick!

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On 09/07/2020 at 18:13, Mike S said:

Why Don't You Just Die! (2018)

 

Very tight Russian black comedy which packs an awful lot of twists and turns (and even more blood) into its 1 1/2 hour running time. Sam Raimi x Tarantino with a dash of Coen Brothers. Refreshingly different and highly, highly recommended.

 

4/5

Thank you for recommending this. It was really enjoyable. Dark, funny, quirky, surprising, and not a moment wasted in its lean running time.

4/5 

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23 minutes ago, Curtis said:

Thank you for recommending this. It was really enjoyable. Dark, funny, quirky, surprising, and not a moment wasted in its lean running time.

4/5 

 

No problem!

 

It's a very entertaining film...

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3 hours ago, ZOK said:


I must have seen Eight Men Out like thirty times...for some reason it was our regular after pub viewing when I first moved to Bristol. Great flick!

 

I can see why! It's a really solid film. Baseball tends to lend itself pretty well to the silver screen, could quite easily programme a movie marathon around America's favourite pastime.

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On the baseball front - I watched 42 the other day which is Chadwick Boseman as Jackie Robinson with Harrison Ford as the owner of the Dodgers.

 

Sports biopic + battling racism and all round decent performances made for good stuff. There is one extended scene that certainly doesn't gloss over the racist language during the period and is proper unsettling.

 

 

 

 

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Summer Camp

 

Considering this doesn't even warrant a wiki page I must admit that I rather liked it. At times it has a nice Resident Evil 4 vibe and despite being utterly daft the cast and crew give it their best. I believe its a remake of an 80s slasher movie but I've not seen the original

 

3/5

 

The Vatican Tapes

 

A decent cast (Pena, Scott, Hounsou) and a decentish budget help lift this from C grade category to a pretty reasonable possession movie. The problem is that it feels like a pilot for a Tv show and as such comes across as unfinished.

 

2.5/5

 

Creep 2

 

More fun and games with the charismatic serial killer as he has a mid life crisis and starts to question his life choices. An excellent follow up to the chillingly effective original. It doesn't quite have the impact the original did, but is still a great watch

 

4/5

 

Sinister 2

 

A decent follow up to the well thought of original. Again, the sequel isn't as good as the film that proceeded it, but it still has some original ideas and effectively weaves an abused wife/family story into the horror. It does owe a fair bit to Children of the Corn

 

3/5

 

 

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Saboteur (1942) - Alfred Hitchcock

 

Shockingly I've never watched an Alfred Hitchcock movie, so as I got a £30 Amazon gift voucher for my birthday a few weeks back and there's was a Hitchcock box set on sale at that price I decided that's as good a place as any to start. I'll be watching the 14 films in this collection in release order, so let's start with Saboteur.

 

A film about a factory worker that gets set up when the factory burns down results in him fleeing across America and ultimately preventing the bad guys from blowing up a new ship that's disembarking from Brooklyn harbour. Then there's a bit of a scuffle on the Statue of Liberty's torch and one of the blokes that was part of the conspiracy falls to his death.

 

It was alright, the just shy of two hours didn't drag at all and I quite liked both Robert Cummings and Priscilla Lane, though there was definitely alot of condescending language aimed at the latters character.

 

3/5

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Fast Color Otherwise known as 'Woah superhero movie led by 3 black women?!?'

 

This was really good minus the 3rd act, it's not REALLY a superhero movie. It's more like the first film of a trilogy where at the end of the trilogy, they finally become a superhero. So like one third of the first Matrix film.

 

3/5

 

 

 

 

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6 hours ago, wev said:

Saboteur (1942) - Alfred Hitchcock

 

Shockingly I've never watched an Alfred Hitchcock movie, so as I got a £30 Amazon gift voucher for my birthday a few weeks back and there's was a Hitchcock box set on sale at that price I decided that's as good a place as any to start. I'll be watching the 14 films in this collection in release order, so let's start with Saboteur.

 

A film about a factory worker that gets set up when the factory burns down results in him fleeing across America and ultimately preventing the bad guys from blowing up a new ship that's disembarking from Brooklyn harbour. Then there's a bit of a scuffle on the Statue of Liberty's torch and one of the blokes that was part of the conspiracy falls to his death.

 

It was alright, the just shy of two hours didn't drag at all and I quite liked both Robert Cummings and Priscilla Lane, though there was definitely alot of condescending language aimed at the latters character.

 

3/5


Dear god I envy you. You have SO MUCH fun ahead. 

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