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Rate the last film you watched out of 5


Raoull duke
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John Wick 3

 

I'm a pretty big fan of the previous 2 and this was  definitely not a disappointment.  all three movies are a little flat when not in the action so to speak  so that's always been an issue but  this one has the added improvement of a worthy end boss fight, Some of the action , especially  using animals and motorcycles, was hilariously and cartoonishly brutal.

 

I can understand how people would get bored with it as it can be something of a overload of violence with periods of guff in between   but for me it was the best of the 3 movies  so far. 4/5

 

 

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Kong: Skull Island (2017)

 

I'd heard that this was quite good fun for a popcorn monster movie, and while some of the imagery was quite striking, it was clunky as old boots and went downhill sharpish from the halfway point onwards. The editing was all over the place, too. Mostly, it served as a reminder of how good (and, IMO, underrated) Peter Jackson's Kong is.

 

2/5

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Color Out Of Space

 

Nicholas Cage is riding high here off the back of the wonderful Mandy, this horror sci-fi is great when pulling from The Thing, but the tone is all over the place. Loads of laughs in the cinema, but I’m not sure all were intentional.

 

3 and a half mutated alpacas out of 5

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Well.

 

Color Out of Space (2019)

 

Spoiler

Someone finally made a no-holds barred Lovecraft adaptation. That person, for better or for worse, was Richard Stanley.

 

I found the script a bit clunky, with plenty of unsubtle exposition. There are a few jump scares, which are a cardinal sin of any cinema but especially so anywhere near Lovecraft. Nicolas Cage was Nicolas Cage, again. There's some gruesome body horror, which felt like it was definitely pushing the inexplicably lenient 15 certificate.

 

There's some levity in Cage ranting about alpacas and playing the befuddled dad, which is very much needed when you spend the latter half of the film watching the family being helplessly torn apart. (And, in one case, quite the opposite.) It was also a bit special to see proper, legitimate references to things like Arkham that actually belong to that world, instead of being a tangential nod. I very much doubt that the Necronomicon would be published in paperback, though!

 

It's deeply flawed. Some of the audience hated it but I didn't. But I didn't love it either. It doesn't pull back at all from the cosmic elements of Lovecraft's body of work but there was always going to be some shortfall in translating the unimaginable to screen. Stanley doesn't quite succeed, but I'm glad that he tried.

 

Overall, a hearty ?/5.

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Creepy (2016)

 

The first (Kiyoshi) Kurosawa film I ever watch and it had to be the shit one.

 

The first hour is an effective slow burn, before the second hour collapses under the weight of characters doing dumb shit and too many patently unrealistic things left unexplained. That said, the two main stars were excellent and despite the story bring awful, the direction was good and I'm willing to give Kurosawa another chance. 

 

2/5

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The Philadelphia Story (1940)

 

If I'm being honest, this disappointed me, which is a real shame because its rated very highly (100% on RT) and features some amazing talent. You've got (imo) one of the greatest actors of all time in James Stewart alongside other hollywood heavyweights Katherine Hepburn & Cary Grant and yet something just didn't click with me. The script is tight and it's extremely well acted but I just found myself not really caring about the characters or their troubles. They all came off as a little self important, impulsive and lost (I think that's probably the point tbh) but it didn't endear me to them at all, it made me not really want to watch them. A massive shame because not being able to enjoy Jimmy Stewart is very sad indeed.

 

3/5

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The Dark Knight Rises

 

The production is great, just like the others, and I like the characters. The first act setup is great, and Selina was good, and the whole thing about the prison escape and the subsequent street brawl was alright. However, I think that the previous two films had more interesting villains and the main baddie here just seemed like an angry power dick.

 

Over the past few weeks I watched each film in the trilogy for the first time and expected them to be cringe levels of edgy grimdark, but the wacky gadgets and OTT villainy give all of them a little charm. They're all decent, but TDK's Joker was an ace villain, and I loved the establishing character-building in Begins, so...

 

3/5

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Raiders Of Atlantis (1983)

Pure bonkers Italian action fare that dispenses with crap like coherent plot and character development in favour of infinite-ammo gunfights, biker guys from Atlantis, and helicopters, lots of helicopters, because 80s action isn't 80s action without some choppers. Yeah there's something to do with a Russian sub with nukes on, and a mystery stone tablet, but don't let all that get in the way of the ACTION. Great fun, laugh-out-loud dialogue. Thoroughly entertaining.

 

3.5/5

 

 

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Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

It's an odd one: it's essentially more of the same sexy/zany primary-coloured action as the first, and yet it's amazing how hard the law of diminishing returns hit. There was a point in this about two-thirds of the way in I was numb to it all, like being repeatedly kicked in the face with a pink PVC thigh boot for an hour straight with The Prodigy playing loudly in the background. Mind you I am a sucker for innuendo so John Cleese getting more and more shocked by Lucy Liu's action reports did make me chuckle. It's entertaining enough, and maybe if you leave it a few months between watching this and the first it'll feel better, but I was sort of glad they didn't grind out any more after this.

 

2.5/5

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Dark Waters
Courtroom/big pharma true story featuring the always good Mark Ruffalo as a lawyer going up against DuPont and the decades long poisoning of the land and people. shocking revelations of what has happened and you’ll probably be wanting to throw all your Teflon pans out after watching it.

Anne Hathaway felt miscast but it told it’s dour tale compellingly. Pretty shocking stuff really how corporate greed led to whole towns and family’s ruined.

 

3/5

 

 

 

 

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Anna (2019).

 

Luc Besson tries (and fails) to capture some of the magic that made Leon: The Professional and La Femme Nikita so amazing.

The whole thing is slow, boring and unsexy.

Welsh Luke Evans doing a Russian accent but ends up sounding Irish. Irish actor Cillian Murphy doing an American accent and looking bored through the whole thing. Russian model Sasha Luss trying her best to act but coming across like an actual mannequin with no charisma.

Yeah, a big dud and not a patch on Atomic Blondie.

 

1.5 dispatched henchmen / 5.

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The Time Guardian (1987)

Okay, so this Aussie SF adventure has an epic feel initially and contrasts it well with the small outback town most of the film is set in, but it's all a bit muddled and sloppily directed, ultimately it fails to inspire the awe it demands. Carrie Fisher is wasted in this, spending most of her character's time out of action before an unceremonious send-off. Angry Anderson's lighters-in-the-air rock ballad over the credits was probably the most exciting thing about this, and that's saying something. Oh and the parts of the soundtrack that aren't orchestral are dreadful.

 

2/5

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Knives Out

This was excellent!

 

The first half hour was a bit slow and static and I feared that the whole story would be delivered along the lines of that first act but, thankfully, it perked right up to become something very entertaining indeed. I am hopeless at deducing who the villain may or may not be in these Agatha Christie type 'a crime may have been committed' affairs so had no idea how it was going to pan out and, of course, I never saw the end coming. My favourite trick was:

 

Spoiler

...being lead to believe that the detective was totally missing all the clues and actually seemed a bit shite. Which I fell for until he suddenly puled all the rabbits out of the bag...

 

Also, I want to live in that house decorated exactly as it was in the film but, in the real world, I look forward to a re-watch with the benefit of knowing how it panned out.

 

4.5/5 

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Rotten To The Core (1965)

Not-bad Boulting brothers crime caper comedy with a quality cast including Anton Rogers, Peter Vaughn and Charlotte Rampling in her underwear. It did take ages to get going with a lot to set up but once the big job was on the farce element livened things up. Personally I felt it didn't raise a smile in the same way as something like Two Way Stretch but despite the pacing this was mildly entertaining at the very least.

 

3/5

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Queen and Slim

A black couple of a first date get pulled over by a cop. Things go badly and they end up killing the cop and going on the run. We follow them as they head across the American south, trying to escape the man and work out what they’re going to do.

 

I loved this. It looked and sounded amazing – full of beautiful landscapes and run down city environments. It reminded me a bit of the TV show Atlanta in that respect. The two leads are class and the support is excellent.

 

My favourite film so far this year I think.

 

4.5/5 (I’m not giving it full marks because they slightly fumble the ending)

 

The True History of the Kelly Gang

Another film that looks and sounds great. A very loose adaption of the famous Ned Kelly story. Directed by Justin Kurzel who made Snowtown and Macbeth which were both excellent and Assassins Creed.

 

This was fantastic. It had a real noisy energy to it, a fantastic cast (George Mackay, Russell Hoult, Russell Crowe, Thomasin McKenzie), great locations and a killer soundtrack. This was another film with some beautiful landscapes and some scuzzy city locations. And like Queen and Slim it’s a doomed love-story at it’s heart.

 

4.5/5

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Emma. - 3/5

 

Never read the book, so cant speak of its quality as an adaptation, but as a film it’s lavishly designed, with charming performances throughout. Mischievous and breezily enjoyable.

 

Dark Waters - 3/5

 

Really solid legal drama. Reminded me of the bleak paranoia of the 1970s cinema I so enjoy. Mark Ruffalo is quietly excellent, bringing a dogged sense of morality as he fights a really quite shocking case.

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6 Underground.

 

If i had known it was a Michael Bay movie before hand, i would have avoided it like a room full of Corvid-19 victims.  Jesus fucking christ is awful. Turid, dull, pointless, full of plot holes, mind bendingly stupid and it makes no sense from start to finish. Also, having spent a week in Florence, the jump cuts around the city annoyed the hell out of me, tracking in car shots with a background of sweeping grass plains, then cut to driving past the Uffizi gallery and continuing the conversation. 

Gathering the team makes no sense, the premise makes no sense, the plot twist is stupid, and the mother in the old folks home is there for the weakest joke ever committed to celluloid

 

Utter tosh

 

-6 out of 5

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