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Rate the last film you watched out of 5

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Joker

Kind of what I imagined - narrative bore fest. Beautiful looking and fantastic performance though

3/5 


Dune

Effects don’t hold up and it’s amazingly choppy but music and cast is stellar.  There’s some really dark stuff in this from Lynch. I’d forgotten Rabban tearing off a dead cows tongue and eating it and a rat gaffa taped to a hairless milked cat.

3/5

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Uncut gems 

3/5. Can see why it gets the plaudits but it’s an unpleasant film

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Marriage Story 

 

Total contrast to the utterly hateful Phantom Thread, I loved the two main characters in this. Great performances by Scarlet Johansson and in particular Adam Driver.

 

4/5

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Heathers

 

Haven’t watched this since its original cinema release. Not quite as funny/outrageous as I remember, but some good lines still.

 

3/5

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Shaun The Sheep: Farmageddon

 

4/5 - Delightful. We all laughed along with it, and while it owes a huge debt to ET and Close Encounters, it still stood well with getting the references (kids haven't seen either of them).

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Mutant Species (1995)

Essentially a pound-shop Predator, with some soldiers looking for a crashed rocket carrying a deadly bioweapon that turns an ordinary soldier into a lumbering, rubber-headed killing machine. It starts off ambitious enough, with a crew of US military cliches led by the sleazy guy from Maniac Cop 2 preparing to head out, and then something happens that undoubtedly helps the budget out. Said budget went on three key things: stock footage, inadequate prosthetics and a couple of names, the names namely being Wilford Brimley and Powers Boothe who get to lock horns verbally, not literally, that would have been a bit more entertaining than most of this film. Honestly if David A Prior, a director who has proven can deliver no-budget entertainment, had done a better job of obscuring the mutant, this would have been miles better.

 

1.5/5

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Sonic The Hedgehog: took my daughter into see this and didn't expect much. What I got was a solid entertaining kids film that is leagues above the normal slop churned out. Much better than it had any right to be. It's never going to win any awards, but it excels in being a good fun film that satisfied me and my daughter. 

 

4 Skulls out of 5

 

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Ad Astra

 So interesting I couldn’t remember the name of it the next day - 1/5

 

Ford v Ferrari  

 Some lovely race sequences and decent performances from all involved. 3/5

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7 hours ago, Skull Commander said:

Sonic The Hedgehog: took my daughter into see this and didn't expect much. What I got was a solid entertaining kids film that is leagues above the normal slop churned out. Much better than it had any right to be. It's never going to win any awards, but it excels in being a good fun film that satisfied me and my daughter. 

 

4 Skulls out of 5

 

Who even are you 

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Oh and: Ad Astra.  I was kinda into it for the first hour or so, but  felt a bit let down with how it ultimately went. 

 

Also, some of the science seemed weird (I'm no expert) but fucking hell you can't just fly through Neptune's rings in just a space suit, using a piece of metal like a shield, without getting utterly obliterated.  And it would take a lot longer than 5 seconds. 

 

Beautiful movie tho. 

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Jason Bourne: Decent enough entertainment for a Saturday, some good set-pieces but generic as hell, plot holes you could drive a SWAT truck through and the shakycam fucked me right off.

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It's a David A Prior weekend here...

 

Felony (1995)

David A Prior does what could be described as an audition tape for PM Entertainment. Overcomplex crime yarn where a crew recording a TV show capture a drug bust gone bad, with the badness being brought by David Warner on behalf of Lance Henriksen. It has a similar car stunt and explosion quotient of yer average PM film at the time, and it even has that sleek 90s look too. But it's just a bit too twisty and turney for its own good, some bonkers revelation at every turn keeps this from being a digestible and entertaining outing.  Oh yes, we do get Ashley Laurence as a hot nurse in this, and Leo Rossi is in this one again. And it keeps on twisting right to the end. Does that make it good? Hmmm.

 

2/5

  • Upvote 1

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Calibre - 2.5/5

 

Well shot and acted but insane amounts of foreshadowing to the point I predicted nearly everything that would happen including the final pay off. Weak predictable writing let it badly down. 

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Bad Times At The El Royale

my wife picked this one, based purely on seeing pictures of a wet, shirtless Chris Hemsworth. 

 

It was actually pretty good.

 

Basic plot is the standard "group of people with mysterious pasts all end up trapped in a near abandoned hotel". I'm sure I've seen the same story half a dozen times.

 

But it's got some good characters, decent acting, it's well shot and it's got a few unseen twists and surprises. Hemsworth is remarkably good as the big  bad.

 

It's 2hrs 21 long, but the time flew by. Thoroughly entertaining, if nothing mind blowing.

 

A solid 4/5

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In The Name of The Father
5/5

 

Stunning performance from Daniel Day-Lewis (nothing less than expected), this is a superbly crafted film even if it did take some liberties with the truth.

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Okja - Bong Joon-ho’s Netflix film. Some good acting (Ahn Seo-hyun) some terrible acting (Jake Gyllenhaal) and it's a film trying to say something about factory farming and animal cruelty. But it didn't land for me. The cartoon-ish nature of a lot of the scenes meant the serious message got lost. 2.5/5 

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25 minutes ago, Skull Commander said:

You what? 

It was just a jest. Any member of this forum thinking the Sonic movie anything other than woeful was unthinkable mere days ago. 

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Peter Rabbit. James Corden perfectly cast as an unlikeable little cunt. The movie is utterly stupid, brilliantly disrespectful to the source material and I laughed like a drain all the way through. 4 carrots out of 5 if only because I’m a bit hungover and easily amused today. 

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52 minutes ago, Garwoofoo said:

Peter Rabbit. James Corden perfectly cast as an unlikeable little cunt. The movie is utterly stupid, brilliantly disrespectful to the source material and I laughed like a drain all the way through. 4 carrots out of 5 if only because I’m a bit hungover and easily amused today. 

 

Who even are you 

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Bait - 4/5 

 

Now this is a refreshing English film, impressive all the more for the way it was shot and the risks it took, loved it.

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Cold in July - Dexter with a mullet and tasche shoots a guy robbing his house, then his mild mannered civilian life is turned upside down when the dead guys Dad appears on the scene. 4/5

 

Bad Lieutenant : New Orleans Port of Call  -  Nic Cage goes totally Tonto in his quest for drugs and getting out of bad gambling debts in post Katrina Nawleans.  - 4/5 

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2 hours ago, Boozy The Clown said:

Cold in July - Dexter with a mullet and tasche shoots a guy robbing his house, then his mild mannered civilian life is turned upside down when the dead guys Dad appears on the scene. 4/5

Is this the film that ends up being involved with 

 

Spoiler

Snuff movies being shot in a creaky old house

 

Towards the end? 

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Shaun the Sheep: Farmageddon.

 

Great stuff from Aardman again. We all enjoyed it, particularly my three year old boy. 4/5.

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I had my semi regular 'get together with some mates and watch cheesy/bad films' night. The highlight of the two I hadn't seen before was The Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf. 

 

 

This is one of those bad, cheesy films which is still good enough in enough aspects to be ridiculously entertaining. The cinematography is occasionally decent, at times it's really quite well made in a sort of accidental way, and the sort of sleazy fetishy sexualised werewolf wicker man-esque ambiance they've gone for could have worked really well if they'd had more money. The theme song is also good, even though it gets reused for what feels like the entire duration of the film. 

 

 

Unfortunately the brutal editing in the werewolf attack scenes make it very obvious they're hiding their lack of werwolf costumes - when you do see werewolves they're clearly old planet of the apes type costumes. Also they struggle to make soviet-ruled Czechoslovakia a convincing stand in for 80s LA, or indeed for rural Transylvania. 

 

There's also a REALLY BAD werewolf sex scene where the actors are clearly incapable of sex acting with all their makeup. But man, it's so cheesy and silly and funny and Christopher Lee effortlessly brings a bit of gravitas the film doesn't really deserve, that it makes all the schlock and weirdness even more enjoyable. Finally, the end credits are fucking ridiculous. 1/5 but also 4/5.

 

Street Fighter The Movie. 

 

 

I'd never seen this before, and it's not nearly as bad as I'd expected. I mean it's bad, but it has that 90s action movie level of polish with lots of physical explosions and stunts which triggers the pleasure synapses, even though nothing makes much sense due to the dead hand of interference by Capcom and the studio as well as rushed editing to meet ratings demands. A lot of the actors don't seem to know what they're supposed to be doing from one scene to the next but are definitely enjoying themselves. 2/5 but a fun 2/5 if you're drunk. 

 

 

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Serenity - 2/5

 

Spoiler

Ready Player Dumb, more like.


Trashy b-movie thriller with an A-list cast. They got a lovely holiday, we get a bonkers attempt at something different that pretty much fumbles everything it’s going for.

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