Rate the last film you watched out of 5

[Camel]

On 23/01/2023 at 08:30, Timmo said:

Evil Dead

 

I can see why this was influential but God is it bad. My favourite bit was when Bruce Campbell stayed sat in his chair while his friend was getting attacked 2 yards away. And the acting generally is diabolical.

 

That said, some of the effects are well done and there’s some decent gore. The soundtrack is cool.

 

I was hoping for more because Drag Me To Hell is one of my favourite horrors in recent years. 
 

I’m probably committing about 12 atrocities in this post but I really thought it was quite shit. 
 

1.5/5

Ash Vs Evil Dead is where it’s at.

[lolly]

TC 2000

 

Early 90s martial arts guff where humans live underground due to a man made disaster. Something something " surface world"  . Budget of probably $10 this has a load of martial artists who were bit part players in Bloodsport and various other B grade movies around that time but does have Bolo Yeung and Billy Blanks. It's as cheap as can be and looks like it was shot on location in a chemical Factory at night after the staff went home to save on costs. The acting is abysmal , the plot nonsensical and it borrows liberally from a lot of other , better movies, specifically Terminator. There's obvious  poor dubbing where actors with limited English are required to give anything more than a yes or no answer.blanks probably should have been dubbed too.

 

Despite all that some of the fights are pretty good and it's hard not to appreciate the skill of all the martial artists involved, some of the fights in the background or by bit part folk are wonderfully choreographed and superbly athletic and the main guys do good work on that front.

 

My wife came in half way through and looked at me like I was insane after watching a few minutes, little does she know I'm planning on watching a heap of these daft c grade movies over the next year.

 

Anyway 3/5 for the fights and the rest of it being barely above children's pantomime quality of acting, which has a charm of its own for about an hour of the 90 minutes  and sure by that stage you're committed.

 

 

[ZOK]

Sold!

[PK]

On 23/01/2023 at 08:30, Timmo said:

Evil Dead

 

I can see why this was influential but God is it bad. My favourite bit was when Bruce Campbell stayed sat in his chair while his friend was getting attacked 2 yards away. And the acting generally is diabolical.

 

That said, some of the effects are well done and there’s some decent gore. The soundtrack is cool.

 

I was hoping for more because Drag Me To Hell is one of my favourite horrors in recent years. 
 

I’m probably committing about 12 atrocities in this post but I really thought it was quite shit. 
 

1.5/5

 

Have you seen Evil Dead 2? Highly recommend you watch it if not, it's much much better.

 

I'm with you to be honest, the original's always seemed pretty ropey to me - although I watched the sequel first, which may have something to do with it.

[Timmo]

1 minute ago, PK said:

 

Have you seen Evil Dead 2? Highly recommend you watch it if not, it's much much better.

 

I'm with you to be honest, the original's always seemed pretty ropey to me - although I watched the sequel first, which may have something to do with it.

i definitely will watch it! Have them all ready to go. 

[glb]

Nothing Lasts Forever - 3/5 (work screener)

 

Showtime doc about the diamond industry and the influx of lab-grown synthetic stones. This amounts to a gathering of talking heads many with varying degrees of scorn to pour on the veracity of the diamond industry. The film’s real gem is Aja Raden, an NY Times best-selling author and jewellery designer, who’s disdain for the inflated value of diamonds is delivered with a real, "I really give zero fucks" energy. An easy, breezy 90-minutes. Guess it might pop up on Sky soon as they've had a few Showtime docs.

 

Enjoying being much more selective about what I'm watching. This time last year I'd already watched 60+ films. Currently on 13 and there's only been one dud (Adrenaline 2021, which is truly abysmal)

[Plissken]

The Wild Geese (1978) - 2.5/5

 

Richard Burton, Richard Harris and Roger Moore lead a group of too old British mercenaries drop into an African country to rescue its president and then get double crossed.

 

There are many fascinating things about this film that aren't the film itself.  They couldn't do the WWII thing as the glut of late 60s films had bled that dry.  A modernisation where a bunch of ex-British Army types are paid to drop into Africa because the backwards natives just won't do the right thing by signing all their resources over to suits in London might seem terribly, well, racist except that's actually what was happening.

 

As for the production, it was done in apartheid South Africa so was protested at the premieres.  Burton was so ill he could hardly stand and when he did collapse they found his spine was coated in crystallised alcohol.  He and Harris had half their fee kept in escrow so that they would stay sober.  Moore asked for his part to have less dialogue so that he could stand in scenes and just watch Burton and Harris.  Kenneth Griffith plays a man so camp he makes John Inman in "Are You Being Served" look like a study in subtlety.

 

As for the protests mentioned earlier, it certainly isn't racist under its own times.  It's actually trying to be fairly progressive, with the bad guys being suits in London after money.  But despite meaning well, it's massively clunky in that sort of 70s way.  Hardy Kruger plays a South African who learns to not be racist from the President himself.  Except the director can't really do actors or dialogue or editing, so the scene feels and has dialogue exactly like that bit in Anchorman when the dog goes and saves Ron Burgundy by talking to the bear. I'm genuinely not kidding.  The film doesn't really have a message, it just wants to be a fun military action romp and any message there is basically "there are people getting rich by making Are Boys do shitty things".

 

Somehow it just about works.  Obviously Burton, Harris and Moore on screen are just going to bring megawatts of star power and charisma.  The action sequences are pretty good. It moves along briskly enough.  No-one is (a-ha!) black and white, there are moments where they are all real bastards but for a reason.  You give a damn about the minor characters. And of course - MASSIVE SPOILER DO NOT CLICK IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT.

 

Spoiler

You really want him to catch that damned plane

 

If you've never seen it, I suspect it really matters how your own mood is at the time. I saw it as a kid in the 80s on late night telly and loved it, hence coming back to rewatch on a whim.  Your mileage may vary dramatically.

[Nathan Wind]

Split Second - Prime

 

I hope you’ve got a decent pair of wellies because it’s the 2008 of the future and due to global warming half of London is underwater, rats are running rampant in the streets, and there’s a serial killer on the loose. Only Rutger Hauer is man enough to clean up this mess as police officer Harley Stone, with his trusty sidekick, detective Dick Durkin and his girlfriend played by a smoking hot Kim Cattrall. This is tremendous 90’s budget sci-fi/monster B-Movie hokum. Everyone involved is hamming it up and having a whale of a time in the process. It’s chock full of cheesy one liners and tons of familiar faces like Alun Armstrong, Pete Postlethwaite and a young Jason Watkins in a tiny role. 90 minutes of great fun.

 

 

4/5

[Stig]

On 21/01/2023 at 17:56, schmojo said:

 

 

Give it a watch first, I don't have the first clue about parenting. I enjoyed RoboCop plenty at 6 without having particularly nuanced grasp of the anti-consumerist sentiment.

 

Also give it watch because it's fun.

 

We just watched it and most of the violence is pretty tame or done off screen. I don't think I'd have a problem with her watching this. She's seen scarier stuff.

[Monkeyboy]

9 hours ago, Plissken said:

The Wild Geese (1978) - 2.5/5

 

Has one of my favourite movie lines from Richard Burton.

 

"There's a separate clause in my contract that says my liver is to be buried separately with honors."

 

I seem to remember he does a really weird thing after that where he holds his whiskey glass with both hands to drink the booze. Maybe the alcohol had fucked him up that much by this point, he couldn't even lift a glass with one hand.

[lolly]

White tiger  (1996)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118159/?ref_=fn_al_tt_3

 

After a Chinese drug lord murders his partner, a tough DEA agent teams up with a mysterious beauty and makes an uneasy alliance to exact revenge

 

If you like combat rolls and a noticeably  inconsistent number of  baddies scene to scene  in your martial arts movie  then White tiger may be for you.

 

Whereas TC 2000 knew what it was and kept it simple , with lots of fights and minimal inconvenience of a story , White Tiger attempts to have it’s plot and eat it too. Which is to the detriment of the action  as again, these guys , specifically the lead ,Gary Daniels  who I thought was Ray Park of Darth Maul fame , is an accomplished martial artist and when he’s fighting it’s  good fun.When it’s doing the rest of the daytime television movie of the week is where it drags this down and you end up going too long between drinks of water.

 

In fairness it picks up towards the end where there’s a couple   of half decent fights and one   very pretty  silhouette shot using sunlight  and smoke that looks cool. Also there’s an impressive if a little  incoherent pyrotechnic display at the finale.

 

Can’t say I recommend it because of the paucity of action until towards the end and they cut out the combat rolls after the initial flurry  so that was disappointing.  2/5

[schmojo]

X

 

Despite the positive reviews, I'd been avoiding it because it's Ti West. I've seen most of his films and found them to have good ideas, but be overlong and dreary, rather than just slow burns.

 

This one's a pretty tight hour and 45, and much the better for it. It's great, actually. Good tension, good shocks, fun performances. It's the first time all the pieces have come together with this director for me.

 

4/5

[SpagMasterSwift]

Mississippi Grind

 

I came across this movie last night while flicking through the "leaving soon" section on Prime. I'd never heard of it before which surprised me as it stars Ben Mendelsohn and Ryan Reynolds. Went into it blind, which can often be a risky proposition with a film that clearly made little to no splash on its release back in 2015, but the gamble paid off! Both actors are on top form, Ben showing a very human side to addiction while Ryan oozes surface charm yet hints at hidden depths. The story is slight, as often road movies can be, but allows these actors plenty of space to work, they have great chemistry and I thoroughly enjoyed the time spent in their company. 

 

4/5

[glb]

Bank of Dave - 2/5 (Netflix)

 

Despite being the retelling of a pretty heart-warming story about communal philanthropy, this essentially boils down to being a pretty tame, fish-out-of-water rom com and a helpful reminder that, "Northerners are people too!" Not terribly made, just terribly, terribly bland, and a throwback to the kind of unambitious film-making the UK industry supposedly shook loose from in the mid-90s. The real story deserved better.

[Ry]

35 minutes ago, glb said:

Bank of Dave - 2/5 (Netflix)

 

Despite being the retelling of a pretty heart-warming story about communal philanthropy, this essentially boils down to being a pretty tame, fish-out-of-water rom com and a helpful reminder that, "Northerners are people too!" Not terribly made, just terribly, terribly bland, and a throwback to the kind of unambitious film-making the UK industry supposedly shook loose from in the mid-90s. The real story deserved better.

 

It made me want to puke. 

[Mawdlin]

1 hour ago, glb said:

Bank of Dave - 2/5 (Netflix)

 

Despite being the retelling of a pretty heart-warming story about communal philanthropy, this essentially boils down to being a pretty tame, fish-out-of-water rom com and a helpful reminder that, "Northerners are people too!" Not terribly made, just terribly, terribly bland, and a throwback to the kind of unambitious film-making the UK industry supposedly shook loose from in the mid-90s. The real story deserved better.

I could only watch 20 minutes. When it got to the bit where the guy from London couldn't understand the guy from Burnley giving him directions I'd had my fill.

 

It spectacularly managed to patronize both those in the south and those in the north.

[Ry]

Possessor: Uncut 3/5 (maybe? Fuck knows)

 

I remember hearing this got rave reviews a couple of years ago and was on my radar but totally forgot about it. I basically went in blind knowing nothing about the plot

 

Anyway, aye...hmm. Dont know what to make of it. It's brilliantly made but I was left a bit empty come the end. There is some ultra violence nastiness in a few scenes but the most shocking thing for me was seeing a guy with a hard-on and balls flapping about and full on spread eagle fanny facing the camera. 

 

It's an interesting film, I will give it that. 

 

 

[Tequlia]

À nos amours 1/5 (MUBI)

 

When a “coming of age” film feels more like an excuse for lingering shots of a 16 year old in states of undress.  I wish I’d quit after 20 minutes but stuck with as apparently it's one of the greatest French movies of all time.  

 

It was very creepy - the focus is on Suzanne whose “promiscuous” love life (via noticeably older men and some dickheads her own age) is I think meant to be an outlet for her chaotic family life.  Which is quite obnoxious when you think about it.

 

As the film progresses her dad decides to move out of the family home for, reasons, leaving her in the clutches of her weird older brother who is a massive twat and fond of randomly slapping her about.  A few years later her dad comes back and tells her she’s completely worthless.  Film ends.

 

Maybe it went over my head.

[Vimster]

Detective Bureau 2-3: Go to Hell Bastards! (1963)

Never watched any of these Seijun Suzuki films before so this is just going on what I saw which was a rather entertaining, twisty and stylish Japanese crime caper from the early 60s. A ballsy private detective goes undercover investigating some stolen guns, getting one over the cops and the gangsters in the process. It has bags of style, from the groovy soundtrack to the sharp suits, fast cars cruising around early 60s Tokyo, and varied characters. There's never a dull moment, it has a lot of colour for something set in a largely grey world, and it moves swiftly and with apry humour. Simply great fun.

 

3.5/5

[Dark Soldier]

Top Gun: Madlad

 

This is fucking shite as it is basically just the first film but with Kilmer and Cruise with additional botox.

 

Loved the bit where they were in the big action scene and as Cruise was flying through the skies a literal goose flew next to the plane and he saluted it crying.

 

Fly fly zip zoop stuff is enjoyable but it's the cheesiest bag of shit since out of date Wotsits. I don't have a hard on for macho BIG MACHINE OILY MUSCLE MEN MOUSTACHE stuff though so mileage may vary.

 

2.5/5

[Monkeyboy]

Brian and Charles (2022)

 

Loved it.

 

4 out of 5

[SeanR]

Hellboy 3/5

[cassidy]

25 minutes ago, SeanR said:

Hellboy 3/5

The Del Toro one I assume? 

[Sidewaysbob]

Is there another!!!? 

[SpagMasterSwift]

Nope!

[Clipper]

The Dead Pool (not THAT deadpool , it is the shit Dirty Harry film that finally finishes the bluray boxset from my pile of shame)

 

The first two films are still easily the best of this series. This one is as if someone wanted to make a parody of a Dirty Harry film (like Sledgehammer from the 80s!) but accidentally made it with Clint Eastwood and called it a Dirty Harry film. Oh and forgot to put any jokes in.

 

It runs through the formula, Harry is a renegade, he gets given a new minority partner who will probably die (no spoilers here!) and he gets catch phrases.

 

The problem is that even though it is only 1hr30 minutes long it is BOOOOOORRRRINNG and drags horribly. It also forgets the point of Harry at the end of the film... I suppose I should spoiler this

 

Spoiler

At the end the bad guy only has Harry's magnum and it is empty he is defenceless. Harry shoots him with a movie prop harpoon gun FFS. So he basically breaks the law and breaks the only edict Harry has which is he only shoots those who pose a threat.

 

 

1/5

 

I have a boxset of Planet of the apes quintology on my shelf but I am not sure I'll do another 5 film franchise next even though I love them - it is exhausting doing a franchise

[SeanR]

21 minutes ago, cassidy said:

The Del Toro one I assume? 

yes.

[cassidy]

24 minutes ago, SeanR said:

yes.

3/5 needs some explaining when you have time. If you don't mind 😂

[Vimster]

Journey To The Centre Of Time (1967)

I want my time back! This was a great example of how to pad a film out and pretend to do something but deliver nothing. Incomprehensible plot largely made up of science gobbledygook, montages and stuff generally. They go 5000 years into the future! Then go 5 million years into the past! Look, it's awful, avoid.

 

0.5/5

[SeanR]

1 hour ago, cassidy said:

3/5 needs some explaining when you have time. If you don't mind 😂

it’s a little disjointed.