Rate the last film you watched out of 5

[Clipper]

Xtro

 

You can't get a more British horror film than this. It has the look and feel of a lost episode of the Hammer House of Horrors TV series taken to the next level. Everything feels and looks grimy and gritty. Despite having an au pair (Maryam D'abo) the family seem to live in a fairly grubby apartment, the cleaned up transfer revealing all the grubby handmarks on the walls making the place look very much unlike a high end london apartment. The acting performances are variable and for some inexplicable reason (maybe unplanned ADR had to be done?) Mrs Goodman from the downstairs apartment is dubbed horribly (The actress went onto be Lou Beale from Eastenders and many other appearances so not a terrible actress).

 

The opening 20 minutes is a bit of a struggle as the film does the B movie thing of spending a chunk of budget on a few monster fx scenes at the beginning to grab the audience, but they don't stand up and neither does the acting or action in general at that point. Great scenes for a drunken schlock B movie watch but not so much beyond that.  However once we dispense with the initial creature nonsense the film is genuinely creepy and surreal as well as being pretty brutal and uncompromising. There are some superbly surreal scenes leading to horrific ends for some of the cast which I won't spoil here. The acting and direction is uneven in tone between scenes but that even adds to the feeling of unease that fills the majority of the movie. The stuff with the kid is probably the most disturbing and using a kid for this stuff is always shocking.

 

The ending is a damp squib quite honestly but the alternate ending sounded more interesting/final but didn't look great apparently. All in all well worth a watch for anyone into horror.

 

3/5

[Camel]

Society is great. The creeping realisation that something very wrong is going on behind closed doors is what it’s all about.

 

Zero Boys is worth a watch.

[Nathan Wind]

The Banshees of Inisherin - Disno +

 

K, so. I love In Bruges and Three Billboards. I even very much  like Seven Cycle Paths, which I think is really quite underrated. Didn’t like this too much. An understated, quietly amusing Irish slow burn should be right up my street, but for me it was just missing that little something. The writing and acting were undeniably superb, it was beautifully shot, and filmed in a stunning location, but it meandered just a little bit too much and I felt it needed a tiny bit more levity to counter the desperate hopelessness. Too bleak for me, and I like bleak. Deffo didn’t leave me with any feeling of hope at the end. I’m going to go have a chocolate mini-roll to cheer me up a bit.

 

Still gets a 3.5/5 for the stellar acting etc.

 

 

[David Kenny]

7 hours ago, ZOK said:

The amazing thing about it is the ‘freaky CGI sex scene’ is one of the least freaky things about it, by quite a long chalk.

 

It’s no surprise King got his name removed, I’ve not read his bit but this flick has the production values of a high-end Kentucky Fried Movie, and I strongly doubt it was what he expected as a consequence. But for all that, the story is very nicely tied together (as I intimated earlier, it’s clear they were fans of Flowers for Algernon), and it’s just so watchable.

It definitely had something about it.  It should be mentioned as well that at the time the CGI was cutting edge stuff.

[SeanR]

I managed 10mins of Gods of Egypt, and I want a medal, cast from the golden blood that runs through their veins, for my bravery!

[Couch Corpse]

On 19/12/2022 at 22:22, Thor said:

not a single redeeming quality

The car chase was decent, and it is hilariously awful if you want a laugh.

[Thor]

The Departed

 

It's been a few years since I've seen it, but I was obsessed with this when it came out. It's still absolutely fantastic. I know DiCaprio and Nicholson get all the plaudits, but Matt Damon puts in the performance of his life. Just a terrific crime thriller.

 

5/5

[Vimster]

Quarantine (2000)

Gob-smackingly appealing TV movie about the US capturing a virus from a terrorist group, only the plane carrying samples crashes and unleashes the deadly cargo. Very much going for full-on mawkish hankie-clutching family drama, although as most of the stupid stuff that happens is down to stroppy kids and inept leaders it's hard to have any sympathy. We're constantly told the entire country is on its knees but never see any evidence of it. Cue more stupid decisions, like a plane-load of children demanding to land on the president's isolated island. In a post-Covid world it's even harder to watch such idiocy. One star because I'm sure if I'd been with someone and we'd drank enough this would be a groan-inducing yet entertaining watch.

 

1/5

 

 

[tejinashi]

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - 5 stars

 

Threw this on, on a whim, and ended up watching the whole thing. Solid gold entertainment all the way through and a memorable festive rewatch. I even liked Kate Capshaw this time around.

[glb]

The Polar Express - 2/5 

 

One of the last major Christmas films I hadn’t seen before, and wasn’t really worth the wait. Borderline creepy animation, which is also really flat in anything other than close-up.

 

An oddity, and thank goodness the animation style didn’t catch on.

 

Glass Onion… - 3/5 (Netflix)

 

Not as tightly made as the brilliant first film but still has plenty to enjoy. Daniel Craig hamming it up after spending so many years as Dour Bond is a treat.

 

A solid film for this time of year, and certainly one of the best films Netflix has managed to acquire and stamp their name on.

 

(#986-987)

[ucci]

On 23/12/2022 at 10:48, David Kenny said:

 

I worked in a very large city centre cinema when this came out, so I've probably seen it more times than anyone else on the planet (well except for all the other people who worked in cinemas I guess, anyway I saw it a lot). We had to give it a huge build up before it was released, with promo posters and cut outs and what have you. All of them had "Stephen King's The Lawnmower Man" on them, and the material made a lot of this film being from the pen of Stephen King. About a week before it was released though we had to go round the whole cinema and put masking tape over any appearance of King's name in association with the film. Even the small print bit underneath the poster which was quite fiddly. Turns out that on seeing it he demanded that his name be removed, I guess because it bears so little relation to his short story of the same name.

 

Despite seeing it all those times this is about the only thing I can remember about the film. That and the freaky CGI sex scene. True story.

Lawnmower Man 2 was also a nerd wet dream for me. 90s cyberpunk aesthetic with international network conspiracy. 

[jonamok]

Spirited

 

Just watched it. Loved it. Perfect Christmas Eve movie. Fun and funny. Even loved the song and dance routines. It probably helps that I do love both leads, and Octavia Spencer.

 

4.5/5

[Fierce Poodle]

I thought it was fucking camel shit. Merry Christmas!

[jonamok]

Of course you did. And a happy New Year.

[Stig]

15 hours ago, glb said:

The Polar Express - 2/5 

 

One of the last major Christmas films I hadn’t seen before, and wasn’t really worth the wait. Borderline creepy animation, which is also really flat in anything other than close-up.

 

An oddity, and thank goodness the animation style didn’t catch on.

 

We were going to watch this tonight cause the kids wanted to see it but I'd heard nothing but poor things about it. Thankfully it seems like my Dad cancelled his Sky Movies sub so we couldn't watch it....What a shame.

[Monkeyboy]

Shock Waves (1977)

 

A pleasure cruise runs aground on an island which, it turns out, is the home of a long forgotten Nazi experiment to create zombie super soldiers. The zombies in this are more intelligent than your average flesh eater and have been designed to be at home in water. I thought Zombie Flesh Eaters might have had the first underwater zombie, but this predates it. Has a really cool synth score, a nice atmosphere, Peter Cushing, and a guy who looks and sounds like George Costanza.

 

3 out of 5

[tejinashi]

Predator 2, Disney+, 5 stars (rewatch)

 

Los Angeles. 1997.

 

Wondrous sequel to one of the most iconic action films of all time. Danny Glover knocks it out the park as Lt. Mike Harrigan. The flow of scenes and set pieces is remarkable - there is always something interesting happening. The Predator itself oozes menace, and the film provides crucial extra lore as it goes on. A fantastic supporting cast flesh out the troubled LAPD, not just there as fodder, and a crazed Gary Busey puts in a stellar turn as the enigmatic Peter Keyes.

 

It must have seemed an impossible task to follow up the original, but they did it - and how!

[Dapple]

On 23/12/2022 at 10:58, ZOK said:

The amazing thing about it is the ‘freaky CGI sex scene’ is one of the least freaky things about it, by quite a long chalk.

 

It’s no surprise King got his name removed, I’ve not read his bit but this flick has the production values of a high-end Kentucky Fried Movie, and I strongly doubt it was what he expected as a consequence. But for all that, the story is very nicely tied together (as I intimated earlier, it’s clear they were fans of Flowers for Algernon), and it’s just so watchable.

I read the original short story years ago and the only similarity with the film is that it features a man who uses a lawnmower.

 

Which is something, I guess.

 

Here's the distinctly VR-free plot summary from Wikipedia:

Spoiler

Harold Parkette is in need of a new lawn mowing service. The summer before, a neighbor's cat was accidentally killed when another neighbor's dog chased it under the mower. Harold has been putting off hiring new help for the summer, but when he sees an ad for a mowing service, he calls. A van reading "Pastoral Greenery" soon pulls up to his home. The man working for the service, a hairy, pot-bellied fellow, is shown the overgrown back lawn and is hired. Harold is enjoying a rest as he reads the paper, wondering about the lawnmower man mentioning Circe, when he hears the lawnmower outside. Startled, he races to the back porch and sees the lawnmower running by itself and the naked lawnmower man following it on all fours and eating the grass. The lawnmower seemingly deliberately chases and kills a mole and Harold faints.

 

When Harold revives, the lawnmower man explains that this new method, introduced by his boss, grants substantial benefits, and that he makes sacrificial victims of customers who cannot appreciate the process. Harold, though unnerved, allows the lawnmower man to return to work. As soon as the man is out of sight, Harold desperately calls the police, but is interrupted by the lawnmower man, who reveals his boss's name: the ancient god Pan. The lawnmower briefly chases Harold through his living room before brutally slaughtering him.

 

When the police arrive, they conclude that Harold was murdered by a schizophrenic sex maniac. As they leave, the scent of freshly cut grass hangs strongly in the air.

 

[Tequlia]

Crystal Fairy & the Magical Cactus 3/5

 

Love how MUBI puts in front of me stuff I’d never otherwise watch (or even know existed!)

 

Liked this - didn’t expect Michael Cera in it; playing an obnoxious tourist in Chile meeting a fellow American called Crystal Fairy at a party  (citizenship is their only common ground) and, high, invites her to join his planned road trip.  Her presence shifts the dynamic of the group taking the trip, irritates the hell out of him, but ultimately helps them to both achieve a degree of understanding & respect (I think - the ending has some ambiguity).

 

I did like how neither American comes across well, certainly in comparison to the wonderfully nice Chilians they travel with and meet.  Both treat Chile as a playground for indulging their fixations and the film is pretty pointed in that regard, especially when Crystal manages to piss off a group of women in a park.  But as the film goes on, you recognise both have their own issues and their behaviours reflect this.

 

The Banshees of Inisherin 3/5

 

Won’t just repeat my ramblings from the main thread, but in summary felt this is mislabelled even as dark comedy and could only get my head around as a horror film.  Probably just me though.

[Vimster]

Violent Night (2022)

Went into this unaware it was directed by Tommy "Dead Snow" Wirkola, and knowing that now this makes a lot more sense. It's heavily Christmas-themed B-movie action with just the right amount of comedy, inventive set-pieces (the booby-trap bit especially) and what look like quality practical effects. The interactions between the little girl and an initially jaded Santa felt a bit too close to over-sentimental at times, especially the extended scene with Santa giving his back-story, but the film wouldn't have worked without that motivation, even if it was a bit fudged at the end. It did feel like this was aimed at parents who had grown up with action/horror but also had young kids, the mix of coarse dialogue, crunchy action and a cute kid ticked all those boxes. Had a soft spot for the old-fashioned orchestral soundtrack that felt very Die Hard, in fact there were more than a couple of nods to that Christmas classic (it is).

 

3.5/5

[glb]

15 hours ago, Stigweard said:

 

We were going to watch this tonight cause the kids wanted to see it but I'd heard nothing but poor things about it. Thankfully it seems like my Dad cancelled his Sky Movies sub so we couldn't watch it....What a shame.

It’s a really wonky film. Bit of a fever dream. Better half said halfway through: “I don’t like this, this is weird” Put that on the poster.

 

The Fire Within: A Requiem for Katia and Maurice Krafft - 3/5 (iPlayer)

 

On iPlayer under the Storyville brand. Another doc, Fire of Love on Disney+, is more of a biography of the doomed volcanologists whereas this is basically a Werner Herzog visual essay, cut using the footage Katia and Maurice accumulated during their careers. 
 

Herzog also says “pyroclastic flow” a lot, which is extremely pleasing. Stunningly hypnotic in places, the power of volcanos is truly mind blowing. Will watch the D+ doc in the next few days and probably wish I’d caught it in a cinema.

 

(#989)

[JoeK]

Some Like it Hot.

 

I think it's up there with Big Trouble in Little China in the 'perfect film' stakes. I think it's endlessly rewatchable and even more outstanding when you start to read about all the chaos that was going on during production.

 

Perfect film, perfect christmas fare and I'm enormously content.

 

5/5 - because it's just that fucking good.

 

 

[Garwoofoo]

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

 

Watched this in a sprout coma on Christmas Day afternoon and in all honesty it wasn't quite as good as I remembered it. The opening sequence with young Indy is a bit rubbish, it takes too long to introduce Sean Connery and there's a convoy sequence near the end that's very similar to the one from Raiders but just not quite as good. Some of the green-screen work is surprisingly poor, too. But it's still good, solid fun, the jokes all land, Ford and Connery have real charisma and lots of Nazis get punched.

 

4/5

[SeanR]

Knives out 4/5

WW84 2/5

[Waggo]

Elf: 3/5 any other time of year (5/5 because of the timing, company and alcohol).

 

Never seen it before, and was looking for something seasonal to watch yesterday evening and this was the collective choice. As above thoroughly enjoyed by all.

 

 

 

 

[Fargo]

The Hobbit trilogy

An unexpected journey 3/5

The desolation of Smaug 3/5

Battle of the five armies 2.5/5 

 

hated these movies on release due to high fps, 3D, and cgi compared to the practical effects of the LOTR. However, watching them now on TV I really enjoyed them. Still there were 2 brilliant movies here rather than 3 decent ones. On to LOTR next.  

[schmojo]

An accidental, but somehow fitting, island-based double bill:

 

Banshees of Inisheerin

 

As others have said: pushes the boundaries of bleak comedy, but is captivating in that way the McDonaghs do best. And, as always, is the best Farrell you're likely to see. I thought it ran a bit long and dragged towards the end, but was well worth watching.

 

3/5

 

Glass Onion

 

This was quite the antidote. Colourful, campy and without pretension. I think I'm probably in the minority in that I prefer it to Knives Out. It felt warmer, sillier, and more playful. I read a rumour that Rian Johnson and Daniel Craig considered changing Benoit's terrible accent, without explanation, each film. That would have been fun.

 

The superficial pandemic stuff felt a little weird and unnecessary until it became clear that it's all an excuse for Johnson to skewer a whole range of people he does not like, and have fun doing it.

 

Comparison with Banshees:

Spoiler

Both films, as well as being on islands, were almost mirrors of each other. One has a man who will go to any lengths to not be a friend, another has a man who will go to any lengths to feel like he is. One has a crime that is confessed to before it happens, creating a tense inevitability, another is a whodunnit where we don't even know if anyone gonna dunnit. One has a man who is complex and opaque, the other has a man who is simple and transparent.

 

3.5/5

[Couch Corpse]

The Banshees of Inisherin - 3/7

[ZOK]

On 25/12/2022 at 08:51, Dapple said:

I read the original short story years ago and the only similarity with the film is that it features a man who uses a lawnmower.

 

Which is something, I guess.

 

Here's the distinctly VR-free plot summary from Wikipedia:

  Reveal hidden contents

Harold Parkette is in need of a new lawn mowing service. The summer before, a neighbor's cat was accidentally killed when another neighbor's dog chased it under the mower. Harold has been putting off hiring new help for the summer, but when he sees an ad for a mowing service, he calls. A van reading "Pastoral Greenery" soon pulls up to his home. The man working for the service, a hairy, pot-bellied fellow, is shown the overgrown back lawn and is hired. Harold is enjoying a rest as he reads the paper, wondering about the lawnmower man mentioning Circe, when he hears the lawnmower outside. Startled, he races to the back porch and sees the lawnmower running by itself and the naked lawnmower man following it on all fours and eating the grass. The lawnmower seemingly deliberately chases and kills a mole and Harold faints.

 

When Harold revives, the lawnmower man explains that this new method, introduced by his boss, grants substantial benefits, and that he makes sacrificial victims of customers who cannot appreciate the process. Harold, though unnerved, allows the lawnmower man to return to work. As soon as the man is out of sight, Harold desperately calls the police, but is interrupted by the lawnmower man, who reveals his boss's name: the ancient god Pan. The lawnmower briefly chases Harold through his living room before brutally slaughtering him.

 

When the police arrive, they conclude that Harold was murdered by a schizophrenic sex maniac. As they leave, the scent of freshly cut grass hangs strongly in the air.

 

How bizarre…hard to see why they wanted the Steven King connection in the first place, his story sounds rubbish!

[glb]

Not counting it as part of my 1,000 (11 to go!) but watched the director’s cut of Little Shop of Horrors yesterday, which I hadn’t seen before. Damn, it has a surprising amount of edge for what is normally a very camp, tongue-in-cheek musical.

Ending:

Spoiler

Both Audrey and Seymour perish, and Audrey II takes over the world. It’s still pretty camp, but tonally a hard turn given the recut ending jollied things up substantially.

 

Apparently the original, more downbeat ending, tested horrendously with audiences, even though it was far more in keeping with the stage show.