Rate the last film you watched out of 5

[Capwn]

Tar

 

Might be an unfair review but I gave up with this after a hour. You get one of these every year, where it’s just constantly screaming ‘Oscar movie!!!’ at me. ‘Look at me, I’m doing 3 minutes of credits at the START of the movie because I am an OSCAR movie!’ etc etc

 

So cue lots of LONG scenes, with just talking and bants. 
 

Weird thing is I did get some enjoyment out of it, it’s sort of fascinating seeing cate swim in this role. I do want to continue but right now it’s a;

 

2/5

[Nathan Wind]

Son of a Gun - Prime

 

A below average Australian crime drama about a young, impressionable wayward type falling in with a bad crowd in prison. It’s far fetched, despite the makers claims of it being somewhat based on real happenings. It’s got a ridiculous prison break, an audacious robbery and silly shootouts with automatic weapons. None of the main characters are particularly likeable, nor are any of them especially well acted. Ewan McGregor is supposed to be this psychotic but charming arch crim but for me he just didn’t sell it enough, and Alicia Vikander is wasted in a nothing but eye candy role. It was however, nice to see a bunch of the Mr Inbetween cast, with Damon Harriman (Dewey Crowe in Justified) and Matthew Nable both great as always, but their roles here are tiny. It’s also sloooooowwwwww. I don’t mind a slow burn if it’s engaging enough or the cinematography is good but this has neither of those going for it. 
 

It tempted me in by being in one of my fave genres and having a reasonable 60%-ish rating, but I’d not recommend it unless you’ve exhausted all your other crimey options.

 

2/5

[Thor]

9 hours ago, ZOK said:

Last Crusade makes it into the top three by default, not merit.

[Jamie John]

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2022) - 4K UHD BR

 

 

I posted the same thing when I rewatched The Fellowship of the Ring back in January, but this is twenty years old now, fuck me. Thankfully, it's still fantastic, and the CGI on Gollum doesn't even look that bad. It maybe loses half a star because it's not *quite* as tight as the first film - some of the waffly bollocks with Arwen and Aragorn got on my nerves - but the build up to Helms Deep and then the pay off at the end when you see Gandalf on the hill is just *chef's kiss*. And I know I say this about everything, but the 4K render is just beautiful.

 

I should finally get round to watching the third one again this week.

 

4.5/5

[Vimster]

Xtro (1982)

What a superbly bizarre, gory, surreal and at times genuinely shocking experience this was. Initially it feels like a family drama where, within the first minute, dad gets abducted by aliens, three years later mum and her new fella can't figure out little Tony's weird behaviour. Then dad comes back in the most brilliantly shocking way which sets the tone for the rest of film. You get a bit of everything here: straight-up gore, surreal murders, a twisted drama with father and son bonding and mother trying to cope, all backed up with some excellent effects that amp it up. Maybe felt as though more effort went into setting up the WTF moments which weakens what starts out as an intriguing tale but you're too busy thinking wow they actually did that.

 

4/5

[Monkeyboy]

Xtro is such a weird, great little movie.

 

 

[Nathan Wind]

Ooh, interesting. I've looked at that a number of times on whichever service it's on, but never got around to actually watching it. I'll get it on the list for sure!

[PK]

The Dead Zone (1983) 4/5

 

Christopher Walken awakes from a coma to find he has developed powers.

 

I love this. It's maybe a tiny bit disjointed but I think that gives it a slightly manic air which fits the situation Walken's character finds himself in quite well. And Martin Sheen is terrific in it, his final couple of scenes really unsettled me the first time I saw this.

[JPL]

20 hours ago, Thor said:

I saw that at the cinema. Its a cast iron 0/5 with not a single redeeming quality. 

 

Wut? 

1. Last Crusade

2. Raiders of the Lost Ark

3. Temple of Doom. 

No, no, no. Release order matches quality for me. With Raiders being so far in front of the others it feels like it's from a different, much better film series. I can never forgive what they did to Marcus' character in Last Crusade.

 

1 Raiders

2 Temple of Doom

3 Last Crusade

4 Crystal Skull

 

I mean, who in their right mind thinks Last Crusade is the best one?

[Thor]

What fresh hell is this? And what do you mean 'what they did to Marcus?' He was a glorified extra in Raiders, and not in Temple at all. They had a blank canvas, and I thought what they did with him in Last Crusade was hilarious. 

[Wiper]

JPL's order is the only acceptable order (bar orders which deny the existence of a fourth film, and/or inject Fate of Atlantis into the mix). Very clearly you've got, in order of release, a 4/5, a 3/5, a 2/5 and a 1/5.

 

(if allowing for half marks, then they can be added to the first and third films)

[JPL]

50 minutes ago, Thor said:

What fresh hell is this? And what do you mean 'what they did to Marcus?' He was a glorified extra in Raiders, and not in Temple at all. They had a blank canvas, and I thought what they did with him in Last Crusade was hilarious. 

He was a wise old rogue in Raiders and it was implied that he'd been up to adventures of his own in the past. They reduced him to a bumbling comedy oaf in Last Crusade, which was a complete disservice to his original character. Imagine having the acting ability of Denholm Elliott and that's what they made him do. Shameful.

 

I honestly think you're the first person I've ever come across who thinks Last Crusade is the best!

[Mr Majestyk]

Violent Night 5/5

Exactly what I expected. Might be my new fave Christmas movie. 

[Jamie John]

Collateral (2004) - Netflix

 

 

This is an excellent and tense Michael Mann thriller with Tom Cruise in fine form as an ice cold assassin-for-hire. He's matched each step of the way by Jamie Foxx playing the beleaguered cabbie who is coerced into ferrying him from hit to hit. I definitely need to watch Heat again after watching this. Absolutely recommended if you've not seen it.

 

4/5

[Mikes]

Troll (2022)

 

Norwegian Godzilla. If you go in with low expectations it meets them well.

 

5 Hildas out of 5

 

 

 

[Fierce Poodle]

Krampus

 

Daft Christmas themed horror comedy with the emphasis on comedy and some yucky gory bits thrown in. Gets an extra point for having Toni Collette in it.

 

3/5

[Vimster]

Lady Dragon (1992)

Pretty average high-kicking revenge fare starring Cynthia Rothrock and Richard Norton, an Indonesian production, by all accounts. Simple story involving Rothrock's husband being assassinated on their wedding day on orders of arms dealer Norton. Her first attempt at getting even lands her in the middle of nowhere where she is helped back to fitness by a boy and his grandfather. Rothrock and to a lesser extent Norton get to show off their skills at least. Robert Ginty is CIA, I think, but his storyline is poorly handled. Generally does the job but nothing more.

 

2.5/5

[Plissken]

Top Gun: Maverick

 

I had doubts. So many doubts. But this is glorious and brilliant and somehow takes the great bits of the first one while being modern and up to date. Loved it.

 

5/5

[Jamie John]

The Banshees of Inisherin (2022) - Disney Plus

 

 

This was tremendous. Hilarious and heartbreaking, and beautifully shot. Incredible performances from Gleeson and Farrell as the two leads, but also Kerry Condon and Barry Keoghan. If you have Disney then absolutely check it out. If you loved In Bruges then you'll adore this.

 

5/5

[glb]

Shiva Baby - 3/5 (All4)

 

A beautifully composed, darkly comic drama showing events unfold at a shiva. Short and sweet, with some lovely performances and tender moments. Well worth a look and currently free on All 4.

 

The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck - 3/5 (work screener)

 

A documentary based on Mark Manson’s book of the same name (y’know, the orange one) I’ve not actually read the book, but a number of things in this chimed with me, especially as it overlapped with some ideas I’ve encountered and found useful.

 

Obviously, individual mileage will vary, but I think there’s some interesting ideas in here, presented in a digestible way. And the title is far more coarse than is necessary, which may hamper the doc for some.

 

(#977-978)

[cassidy]

3 hours ago, Jamie John said:

The Banshees of Inisherin (2022) - Disney Plus

 

 

This was tremendous. Hilarious and heartbreaking, and beautifully shot. Incredible performances from Gleeson and Farrell as the two leads, but also Kerry Condon and Barry Keoghan. If you have Disney then absolutely check it out. If you loved In Bruges then you'll adore this.

 

5/5

Review written for me. 

 

Farrell was exceptional in this I thought. 

 

You can literally see his heart break at the start of the movie and he didn't say a word. 

[lolly]

The Wolf of Snow Hollow

Written , directed and starring Jim Cummings with Riki Lindhome as the actual MVP  in it this is a werewolf B movie  that's pretty tight at 125 minutes and pretty good as far as the genre goes. It' s not particularly scary movie and Cummings seems to have a  plot about how difficult it is to be, and cope with, an alcoholic and  makes the fairly brave choice of being the least likeable character in this  while also  the star. I think this is Forster's last movie and Lindhome is the  the most likeable and probably the best thing in it , it's not overly gory  and not a terrible way to spend an  hour and a half .3.5/5

 

Extra Ordinary

 

Irish Comedy horror set in a small rural town beset by ghostly happenings, a "Ghost whisperer"  who has turned her back on her craft to be a driving instructor gets drawn back in when a client's daughter  is earmarked for sacrifice  to a demon  in return for regaining  his fame by  a One hit wonder from the 80s.  Pretty gentle, very Irish humor with a few bits of slyness to it  this is an easy watch  with a few laughs. This one's just over an hour and a half so doesn't outstay it's welcome, reminded me a bit of Wellington paranormal, same sort of absurd supernatural tone.3/.55

[Stig]

Jaws (1975)

 

Watched it last night because my eldest (9) wanted to see it. Happy to report she has taste and thought the movie was (in her words) "awesome". It really is a flawless film, there's not a moment wasted.

 

5/5

[ZOK]

The Lawnmower Man - 3/5 (Prime)

 

For some reason this was thrown up after watching the excellently odd Xtro, and I’d forgotten it sufficiently to be intrigued. It’s an expanded cut of a directors cut so a bit of a curio.

 

Pierce Brosnan is a CIA scientist using VR to turn chimps into universal soldiers. His favourite one goes on a rampage, so to reset he decides to get drunk in his pants (Mockulus Vest) and warp the mind of his mentally challenged gardener, a deliciously goofy Jeff Fahey. Fahey soaks up the VR magic like a sponge, and soon enough he’s basically god, zapping fools with digital powers. 
 

This is such a silly film, but it’s worth watching for three reasons: classic era sweaty Bronholm boozing and smoking while recording his computer diary, Fahey’s dumb to genius acting is spot on and the Dr Devious 90s VR effects are iconic. If you’ve ever wanted to see Flowers for Algernon on film this is as worthwhile as the actual movie they made. Also has Hank from Breaking Bad in yet another of his surprise retro cameos (I only saw him in The Firm last week as a hitman!), he is great in this as the evil Shop director.

[Nathan Wind]

Xtro is great! Superb recommendation work.

 

I want to watch all the B-movie sci-fis and horrors from that era now!

[Clipper]

(top of my head list as I have seen alot of 80s schlock)

The living dead at Manchester Morgue

Sleepaway Camp

Chopping Mall

phantasm (and sequels)

Ghoulies

HOuse (and sequels)

Demons

Demons II (where the fuck is rosemary)

From Beyond

Society

Life Force

Maniac Cop

Moontrap (I think thats the one with Walter Koenig in it)

The videodead

The stuff

Slugs

Shocker

 

and actual good ones

 

Killer Klowns from Outer SPace (which is an actual classic - i must rewatch and review it one day!)

Fright Night (for Roddy McDowell alone)

The Blob (88 remake )

Hardware

Reanimator

Return of the living dead

Bad Taste (Peter Jackson)

Meet the Feebles (as above)

BrainDead (as Above)

 

To be honest if Xtro level schlock is your thing you could throw a dart in a late 80s video rental store and hit gold

 

 

[iknowgungfu]

On 14/12/2022 at 22:41, Mikes said:

Blade Trinity (couldn't give a shit what year, that's no excuse)

 

My god this was bad. I kept watching as long as I did out of some morbid fascination to see if it could get worse, and wouldn't you know it was the little flop that could.

 

Worth watching only to see how bad things could truly get.

 

0 terrible castings of out 5

It was the fact one of them puts on their iPod to “slay” to which is too far ridiculous even for a vampire flick.  Nonsense. 

[Wiper]

27 minutes ago, Clipper said:

The living dead at Manchester Morgue

Sleepaway Camp

Chopping Mall

phantasm (and sequels)

Ghoulies

HOuse (and sequels)

Demons

Demons II (where the fuck is rosemary)

From Beyond

Society

Life Force

Maniac Cop

Moontrap (I think thats the one with Walter Koenig in it)

The videodead

The stuff

Slugs

Shocker

 

and actual good ones

 

Killer Klowns from Outer SPace (which is an actual classic - i must rewatch and review it one day!)

Fright Night (for Roddy McDowell alone)

The Blob (88 remake )

Hardware

Reanimator

Return of the living dead

Bad Taste (Peter Jackson)

Meet the Feebles (as above)

BrainDead (as Above)

 

I'd nominate the bolded films as highlights of their section (honestly, I think Maniac Cop deserves entry into the 'actual good' section, as it is, well, actually good).

 

For other shlocky wonder, I'd also recommend Class of 1999 (sci-fi thriller, 1990 but channelling the 80s); The Hidden (another sci-fi thriller, and Actually Good); and Cherry 2000 (endearingly dumb sci-fi 'adventure').

[ZOK]

1 hour ago, Clipper said:

(top of my head list as I have seen alot of 80s schlock)

The living dead at Manchester Morgue

Sleepaway Camp

Chopping Mall

phantasm (and sequels)

Ghoulies

HOuse (and sequels)

Demons

Demons II (where the fuck is rosemary)

From Beyond

Society

Life Force

Maniac Cop

Moontrap (I think thats the one with Walter Koenig in it)

The videodead

The stuff

Slugs

Shocker

 

and actual good ones

 

Killer Klowns from Outer SPace (which is an actual classic - i must rewatch and review it one day!)

Fright Night (for Roddy McDowell alone)

The Blob (88 remake )

Hardware

Reanimator

Return of the living dead

Bad Taste (Peter Jackson)

Meet the Feebles (as above)

BrainDead (as Above)

 

To be honest if Xtro level schlock is your thing you could throw a dart in a late 80s video rental store and hit gold

 

 

You don’t rank From Beyond and Society as ‘actual good ones’?!

[Clipper]

I wrote that list from the top of my head , some of those I haven’t seen except for 1 (maybe drunk) viewing 30+ years ago 🙂 

 

I will say that I felt that Society was overrated… the fx were great(even groundbreaking)  but the rest of it didn’t back it up.

 

Anyway to stay on topic i rewatched xtro for the first time in 35 years and it IS better than I remember… full(ish) review to follow 🙂