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Rate the last film you watched out of 5


Raoull duke
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The Mummy (2017)

 

I heard this got slammed in reviews, but it wasn't bad so long as its seen in the non-serious delivery it was intended. Not the best film ever made, but not a wasted watch.

 

3 oldest sergeants in military history out of 5 

 

MV5BMjA3ODYzNTk1NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMjIy

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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

 

Going through Shane Black films at the moment, and hit this little classic. All Black films are basically the same, but this is one of the best and sadly overlooked.  Extra points for the immortal line, "Still gay?" "No I'm knee deep in pussy, I just love the name."

 

Also it was thanks to this film that Robert Downey Junior got the Iron Man role.

 

5 peed on corpses out of 5

 

EB20051020REVIEWS51018002AR.jpg

 

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Deus (2022)

 

Richard '18 litres of coffee up me arse' Blackwood and Phil Davis in a British sci fi that is actually better than its budget and at times wooden acting. Interesting ideas behind it let down by said budget. Better than the usual absolute shit low budget sci fi, solid 5/10

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A short backlog to go through, so let's run through them in order (for reference: none were films I'd seen before):

 

Everything Everywhere All At Once

 

Finally saw this at the cinema courtesy of a rerun on national cinema day. Great fun, loved the effects, enjoyed the callbacks to a range of movies/genres, a pleasingly daft storyline, and a cast who were clearly having a whale of a time — never a dull moment. Only negative for me was the whole "even overbearing parents really love their children and are just flawed or misunderstood" messaging, which I'm a little sick of as I have extensive second-hand experience of "overbearing parents who are actually just colossal bellends who do everything in their power to control their children". So, yeah, that was a bit of a downer.

 

Still, a good time was had: 4/5

 

Master and Commander: Far Side of the World

 

Would you believe I've never seen this before? Mostly thanks to having an aversion to Russell Crowe, and due to it having been heavily recommended by my dad (lover of other such fine historical dramas as "Troy" and "Red Tails"). However, some friends recommending it recently made me reconsider my stance, so I watched and... it's actually quite reasonable? Nothing particularly innovative, but a solid bit of character drama interspersed with frantic violence. I liked it.

 

3/5

 

Kung Fu Hustle

 

A bit late to this one as well. Not really much to say about it really — it was daft, an enjoyable pastiche of Hong Kong martial arts movies. At its best when sending up the various attitudes and storylines of martial arts movies, it did fall over a little with some of its special effects (though the crummy CG did sometimes add to the comedy), and the 'gag' that was the effeminate martial artist left a particularly sour taste in the mouth. Nevertheless, I largely enjoyed this.

 

3/5

 

The Quatermass Experiment/Xperiment

 

As in, the Hammer Horror movie, not the TV serial. This has aged exactly as you'd expect — the horror coming across as twee courtesy of all the overacting and screaming to camera. But the actual story, build-up, and characterisation is solid; Quatermass is perfectly cast as a stiff, unreasonable arse of a man; the monster is a real showcase of non-verbal acting, and the inspector enjoyably bluff. They even manage to get a good gag in (the elaborate setting up of the important device for said inspector, turning out to be his electric razor). A pleasant surprise, and nice to finally watch the film that set Hammer down the path to horror.

 

3/5

 

Dreamscape

 

As a non-fan of Dennis Quaid, this didn't exactly convert me; sadly, not even the presence of Max von Sydow and Christopher Plummer could bring this up beyond 'bearable'. The most dreamlike thing about this film is the way it zips from scene to scene without bothering to build anything like drama or character along the way. Look! The main character must be a good 'un, he helped this child! Yes! He's still a hero even though he just intruded on someone else's dreams and seduced her in them. Oh no! We left a thread hanging at the end, let's resolve it in a five-second scene without any kind of context.

 

The stop-motion animation was vaguely fun, and obviously every time Sydow or Plummer spoke there was something to hook into, but otherwise this was a damp squib. Still, not the worst Plummer movie I've seen lately...

 

2/5

 

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

 

This got mentioned at a stag do I was recently at, and liking The Lonely Island I thought I'd watch it. And it was fun! Dumb as bricks, goofy, and filled with catchy, terrible songs; plus a great selection of daft cameos. Would watch again.

 

3/5

 

Starcrash

 

I mentioned that Dreamscape wasn't the worst Christopher Plummer movie I'd seen, right? Well, the first sign something is wrong with this film is... I mean, it's everything. The acting. The direct lift of Star Wars's opening fly-by. The acting. The terrible special effects and models. The acting. The fact they cast Christopher Plummer as... a good guy? The acting.

 

And then there's the complete lack of any intent — this is a film clearly aiming to cash in on Star Wars's success, but other than that its aims appear to be [null entry]. Star Wars is fundamentally a very basic commentary on America as imperial bad 'un; it's hardly Godard, but it gives it a bit of a solid footing from which to hang its swashbuckling action. Starcrash is about some plucky criminals helping a good empire (that has oppressive penal colonies where said criminals were sent?) fight an evil empire in order to rescue David Hasslehoff for reasons. Um.

 

There's just... nothing here. Nothing at all.

 

0/5

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1 hour ago, Wiper said:

Master and Commander: Far Side of the World

 

Would you believe I've never seen this before? Mostly thanks to having an aversion to Russell Crowe, and due to it having been heavily recommended by my dad (lover of other such fine historical dramas as "Troy" and "Red Tails"). However, some friends recommending it recently made me reconsider my stance, so I watched and... it's actually quite reasonable? Nothing particularly innovative, but a solid bit of character drama interspersed with frantic violence. I liked it.

 

3/5

 

I think you mistakenly wrote '3' there, instead of the correct '5'.

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17 hours ago, Mikes said:

The Mummy (2017)

 

I heard this got slammed in reviews, but it wasn't bad so long as its seen in the non-serious delivery it was intended. Not the best film ever made, but not a wasted watch.

 

3 oldest sergeants in military history out of 5 

 

MV5BMjA3ODYzNTk1NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMjIy

 

I thought the Mummy actor was really good.

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On 14/09/2022 at 12:00, Silent Runner said:

A Serious Man
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1019452/

 

Larry Gopnik, a Midwestern physics teacher, watches his life unravel over multiple sudden incidents. Though seeking meaning and answers amidst his turmoils, he seems to keep sinking.

 

I'm making my way through a few Coen Brothers films I've never seen, this was the one I watched last night. It's set in some bland part of America in the 60's I think. And follows Michael Stuhlbarg as his normal life starts falling apart - slowly at first, then all at once. 


I found this a little hard to get into but once I got into the rhythm of it I was fully hooked. It's a series of set backs and inconveniences for a regular guy who keeps going and never surrenders to self pity - his wife leaves him, his brother is a deadbeat, his children are disappointments and his career is at risk. 


The cast are all excellent. Stuhlbarg plays it dead straight, you feel real sympathy for Larry but you never pity him. There's a load of familiar faces - Richard Kind, Fred Melamed - who put in great turns. It looks great, filmed by Roger Deakins, and despite it's fairly banal setting it has a weird, trippy atmosphere and tone all

the way through. 


Top tier Coen Bros. for sure.


5/5
 

 

Glad someone else has finally found this overlooked classic

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Was annoyed to read that the main guy was actually a prominent youth member of the Communist Party, and it was his Communist beliefs that inspired the whole LGSM idea. The film completely whitewashes that. In mainstream film terms, it's still a radically left-wing work of art - so it's hard to be too mad. Shame though. The positives of Communism never get sunlight in our culture.

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On 14/09/2022 at 17:02, JamesC said:

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once. 

 

I was looking forward to this. Unfortunately it turned out to be everything annoying about films, all at once. 

I couldn't bear the wacky tone and the story bored me shitless. 

Fucking hated it. 

 

1/5

 

:lol:

 

may I recommend Kajillionaire? :)

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Popstar Never Stop Never Stopping (2016)

This was one of those films everyone seems to like, and the more I heard about it the less I wanted to see it. But I'm glad I gave it a whirl anyway because it was really good, idiotic fun. The songs are competent enough to show some craft went into them whilst still being firmly silly and juvenile. Plenty of cameos and so many visual jokes this will definitely need to be watched again. It does go a tad flat towards the end when they have to pick up some actual plot, but the final number is suitably loud, not just in sound terms.

 

4/5

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Our Day Out (1977)

BBC play written by Willie Russell about a school trip to Conway Castle. It's simply superb, well observed, heartfelt with moments of humour and pathos. The interactions between teachers played by Alun Armstrong and Jean Heywood were especially good, with moving moments towards the end. I was only just starting school when this came out but I can still relate to similar school trips in old coaches like this. This was funny but manages to have some socially-aware heart too.

 

4/5

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Theatre of Blood

 

Vincent Price has a whale of a time hamming it up as an old thespian killing off his critics in the manner of characters from the works of Shakespeare. 

It's pretty unsophisticated, with plot holes you could drive a bus through, but it's still a hell of a lot of fun. 

 

I'd love to see a remake of this with Kenneth Brannagh or Ralph Fiennes in the lead role, I think it could be brilliant. 

 

3/5

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I bought the Star Trek Original Cast's x6 film collection on 4K Blu-Ray to get me through the Queens death week

 

All of these films are flawed in some way, either storytelling, action sequences and editing, or just the inability to focus the camera properly. Having cast members as directors just doesn't work either, nor does the fact that while some aspects of continuation between films is there - they really had no idea what to do next.

 

Star Trek The Motion Picture Directors Edition 

 

I remember my dad taking me to see this in London when it opened - I still have the programme. With that in mind I had good memories of it, and it's probably the most "sci-fi" out of all of them. The downsides with this is in the direction of photography, some really horrible in-focus/out of focus effects going on in the same shot -as a glasses wearer it's an absolute head fuck of grand proportions. When the effect isn't being used though there seems to be a great inability to pull focus properly on some face shots too. 

 

It takes a while for the film to start properly, lots of Enterprise flyby porn shots with a bleary eyed Shatner welling up, which believe it or not also happens in the next film too

 

3/5

 

The Wrath of Kahn

 

This one is tauter and better as an action film, provided you avoid the ending's complete disproval of the point of the film in the first place (finding a dead planet for Genesis when a spaceship will do). Lots of out of focus shots in this one too at times

 

4/5

 

The Search for Spook

 

Some poor action direction here, a missing Klingon that just disappears on the planet, and just a general theme that they are now making it up as they go along. Klingons can't decide either to speak Klingon or English between themselves either, most odd, as was Christopher Lloyds casting here.

 

2/5

 

The Voyage Home

 

I remember seeing this at the cinema and feeling it was bollocks. Giant poo log from space comes to find whales, they time travel round the sun to go back in time etc. - what bollocks right? In hindsight, this is the most "fun" to be had in these films, Scotty's computer address goes down in history as superb. They should have ramped the silliness right up rather than try to make an eco message film.

 

3/5

 

The Final Frontier

 

The last 2 films I had not seem before, so they are totally new to me. This film is so bad it's unbelieve how it was made. It starts off so silly, Kirk climbing a cliff face and then it comes up "Directed by William Shatner" and then it all makes sense. The ending is embarrassing effects wise, and yet Shatner's direction does have some merit - the flashback sequence with Bones etc. was really well done, a bit of quality in an absolute turkey of a film.

 

1/5

 

The Undiscovered Country

 

It's the 23rd century and they have done away with CCTV it seems - and without this they are able to build a whodunit film out of this premise. Nevertheless its a much better finish to the series than the last film would have you believe anyone would bother to come back to it. The Klingons now speak perfect English.

 

3/5

 

The whole series' strength works on familiarity with the TV show, the characters mostly. If you don't have that then these could be viewed as a really bad way to spend many hours with very flawed films.

 

The 4K-ness of these films is a real mixed bag - only the true hardcore that have put up with inferior transfers over the decades will be able to measure their worth here. For me owning no prior versions at all, I was expecting something really great from Paramount as they don't normally disappoint, but I think with what they are working with - flawed finished prints from either artistic intent or just plain sloppiness - it's a fine job but nothing incredible.

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I Used to Be Famous (Netflix, 2022)

We're following Vince, a former boyband star, who is struggeling to find a way back into the music business. His former band members are still going strong and we're being drip fed the reasons why Vincent dropped out throughout the entire movie. He befriends a autistic boy which makes him question his own goals in life. 

 

There's actually a good story in here and at times there are some really good moments but everything is let down by horrible editing and pacing and the direction is all over the place. It's like a lot of good ideas has been randomly strung together and it all lacks coherency. The very same story in the hands of a more experienced director could've resulted in something quite magical. 

 

It was refreshing to see southern London not depicted as a Guy Ritchie esque crime nest and parts of the soundtrack is great (best use of a Portishead track in quite a while). 

 

Nearly 3 boyband members out of 5

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One Second- 4.5/5 (MUBI)

 

The latest film from Zhang Yimou has just come out and gone straight to MUBI. It’s the tale of two strangers both trying to get hold of a stolen reel of film during the cultural revolution. It feels both a love letter to film, and a window into all that was lost during that period.

 

As with all Zhang Yimou films, it’s absolutely beautiful to look at, and is a film with a lot of heart. It’s quite a simple tale but one that really transports you to a place and time. I love films that do that.

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Pinocchio (Disney+ 2022)

Ah, classic Disney, Robert Zemeckis and Tom Hanks. What could go wrong?

Well, everything, it seems. 

While Gepettos workshop looked the part, as did Tom Hanks as Gepetto himself but everything from the weird Jiminy Cricket design, the stageplay looking backdrops of the city streets, the less than adequate animation of CGI characters and overall a unbelievably slowly paced movie just didn't work for me. At all. 

The few things I liked makes me rate it a 2 out of 5 but only because I'm in a good mood today. 

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On 15/09/2022 at 01:22, Mikes said:

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

 

Going through Shane Black films at the moment, and hit this little classic. All Black films are basically the same, but this is one of the best and sadly overlooked.  Extra points for the immortal line, "Still gay?" "No I'm knee deep in pussy, I just love the name."

 

Also it was thanks to this film that Robert Downey Junior got the Iron Man role.

 

5 peed on corpses out of 5

 

EB20051020REVIEWS51018002AR.jpg

 

 

This is one of my all time favourite films. Truly exceptional.

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I watched Fight Club I think possibly for the first time the other night. It’s a strange one as I really like Fincher but I hated this. It tries so hard but frankly Zodiac does so much more with far better economy for me. I think it all falling apart in the second half has to be on Palahniuk though, it fritters a good premise which is classic Chuck. Sacrilege I’m sure, but 2/5 at a push. 

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