Rate the last film you watched out of 5

[Monkeyboy]

The Stepfather (1987)

 

I actually watched the remake some time ago, having never seen the original. No idea why. Anyway, the remake is terrible. The original isn't. I was pleasantly surprised to see in the opening credits that the screenplay was penned by one of my favourite crime authors, Donald E. Westlake. So no surprise that this film is very tightly plotted without an ounce of fat on its bones. All held together by a superb performance from Terry O' Quinn.

 

4 out of 5

[Vimster]

Eraser: Reborn (2022)

"I wish someone would do a reboot of the 1996 Arnold Schwarzenegger film Eraser" said no-one ever, but here we have it anyway. It's not terrible, it has solid action with pace and feels like it's going for a quality B-movie vibe which it largely achieves, it's just lacking in any sort of character. And all the fancy gear from the first isn't here, just magic phones with tracking devices, so that's another step towards fully generic. Crikey, even the whole idea of people being "erased" is made to feel really bland. If you're in the mood for undemanding action with little flavour it's entertaining enough.

 

3/5

[Broker]

Widows

 

How have I never heard of this?! Great cast, great script, really refreshing for a heist movie. Fantastic camerawork, it had some really clever shots. Excellent in pretty much every way, though maybe a bit long.

 

4.5/5

[Garwoofoo]

Moana

 

An incredibly beautiful animated movie, I genuinely don't think I've ever seen finer. It's a fairly conventional story about never giving up and always believing in yourself yadda yadda yadda and there's the obligatory comical animal sidekick but it's all elevated by those sumptuous visuals and some great tunes courtesy of Lin-Manuel Miranda (and the songs themselves are pure Hamilton - he's certainly got a style). A genuinely uplifting kids' movie that everyone can enjoy. Docking it a point for a slow start - it only really gets going when the second main character shows up, around half an hour in - and, well, musicals ain't everybody's cup of tea.

 

4/5

[ScouserInExile]

Gone in 60 Seconds 

 

Nic Cage is Nic Cage. Chris Eccleston isn't a very convincing bad guy. Vinnie Jones doesn't speak. Car go fast and things blow up.

 

3.5/5

[Stifler]

Minions: The Rise of Gru

Exactly the same as all the other Despicable Me/Minions movies, so rate it the same as those and you'll be fine.

 

2.5/5 - Kept the kids sitting still for 90 minutes and emptied out my wallet. 

 

[Festoon]

17 hours ago, Broker said:

Widows

 

How have I never heard of this?! Great cast, great script, really refreshing for a heist movie. Fantastic camerawork, it had some really clever shots. Excellent in pretty much every way, though maybe a bit long.

 

4.5/5

 

T'was a critical darling when it came out but I think it had little commercial success. Great film.

[auntyclimax]

Coherence (2013)

 

It took me ten mins to realise that I’d seen it before, but entirely forgotten the plot. Everything is so well signalled, and plays through beautifully. 

I (re)watched this due to a tikitok recommendation…

 

5/5. Perfect.

[Vimster]

Three Days Of The Condor (1975)

Excellent paranoia-drenched thriller, tight and intriguing. Mind you the relationship between Redford and Dunaway's characters felt strange, like the writers worked backwards through it to make it work. It did generate some good dialogue, just felt at odds against the believable espionage bits. There isn't a great deal of music in the film but what there is is simply lush and funky, especially the opening theme.

 

4/5

[Steve McQueef]

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)

 

Quote

Unfulfilled and facing financial ruin, actor Nick Cage accepts a $1 million offer to attend a wealthy fan's birthday party. Things take a wildly unexpected turn when a CIA operative recruits Cage for an unusual mission. Taking on the role of a lifetime, he soon finds himself channeling his most iconic and beloved characters to save himself and his loved ones

What sounds like absolute bollocks, turns out to be a very entertaining buddy comedy, with a bit of action thrown in.

 

Fair play to Cage for ripping the absolute piss out of himself and everyone else going along for the ride.

 

There has to be a dynamite bloopers reel out there, somewhere.

 

4/5

[Stigweard]

Elvis (2022)

 

Posted my thoughts in the main thread, but I loved it

 

5/5

 

 

 

 

[deerokus]

Ma.

 

Extremely annoying teens clearly written by middle aged guys in a very boring supposed horror film. Complete shit. 1/5.

[teddymeow]

10 hours ago, ScouserInExile said:

Gone in 60 Seconds 

 

Nic Cage is Nic Cage. Chris Eccleston isn't a very convincing bad guy. Vinnie Jones doesn't speak. Car go fast and things blow up.

 

3.5/5

 

And. It's. Brilliant!!

[Ry]

The Man from Toronto -1.5/5

Pretty dreadful. 

 

Hustle - 4/5

Did nothing new for the sports film genre but was very entertaining and well acted and shot. 

[Nathan Wind]

On 03/07/2022 at 18:05, Vimster said:

Three Days Of The Condor (1975)

Excellent paranoia-drenched thriller, tight and intriguing. Mind you the relationship between Redford and Dunaway's characters felt strange, like the writers worked backwards through it to make it work. It did generate some good dialogue, just felt at odds against the believable espionage bits. There isn't a great deal of music in the film but what there is is simply lush and funky, especially the opening theme.

 

4/5

The sequel, Condorman, is much better.

 

Dark Blue (Prime Video)

 

This Kurt Russell cop story had completely passed me by, but I thought it was surprisingly good. All about how corrupt and incestuous the LAPD was during the run up to the Rodney King riots. Russell was brilliant in this, and Brendan Gleeson puts in his usual good turn. A solid and unusual police thriller.

 

3.78/5 on the Wind-o-meter.

[Mikes]

Project Gemini (2022)

 

Russian film that pulled a Wild Wild West with a spectacular trailer and a film I gave up on midway through. A mish mash of Alien, Sphere, and Sunshine that apparently went through no script or story critique. Basic story elements such as:

 

"This mission is humanity's last chance at survival - should we check the mental health of the crew to make sure they can handle the most basic of stress first?" 

"Nah"

 

"It's a scientific mission to a planet we have no reason to suspect has any life, so you know what we need?"

"Half a crew of untrained soldiers with rocket launchers?"

"Damn straight.'

 

"Power isn't an issue, so let's ake sure every  walkway outside of the main habitats are barely lit and painted black."

"Good thing OHS was banned in 2045."

 

And for some reason they decided to mouth the lines in English then dub over the top. My god that was distracting.

 

1 blob of grey goo out of 5

 

 

[ImmaculateClump]

Men - ***
Black Mountain Side - *
Beavis and Butthead Do the Universe - ***
Beavis And Butthead Do America - **½
A Cure for Wellness - *

[iknowgungfu]

On 27/06/2022 at 21:45, Jamie John said:

 

Yeah, but when we do eventually get Darth for those 45 seconds he's a mega bad-ass, more so than in any other film. If he'd had lots of screen time up until that point then the scene where he absolutely wrecks every motherfucker would have had less impact. Plus, the more he's on screen, the more noticeably silly his costume becomes. He looks like a hoover.

 

And, to be honest, I got used to Tarkin's CGI pretty quickly. Leia's only there for about 5 seconds anyway.

With Tarkin they should have just had him reflected back in the window only. I’m sure they could have dealt with the other scenes without him.  

[Vimster]

The Stepfather (1987)

First-rate suspense, it's perfectly paced, there doesn't feel like an ounce of fat on the plot either. Terry O'Quinn nails the step-dad with family-related issues, flipping between the impression of the perfect father and the on-the-edge nutcase to scarily great effect.

 

4/5

[Capwn]

Brian and Charles

 

it’s not just the comedy that perfectly fits my tastes but the editing, pacing, location, the whole package, were spot on. I was left wanting more.

 

It’s just such a silly and sweet film, can see it going down well with kids too with just how playful it is.
 

4/5 (which is rare, some years I don’t dish out a 4 at all)

 

 

[ryanm]

Hard Target 2

 

If you were to take some powerful disassociative pharmaceuticals and sort of half-watch this you'd be forgiven for thinking you'd watched the original. Adkins looks a bit like van Damme, Knepper looks a bit like Henrikson and, as an afterthought, busts out an impractical breech-loading pistol, there's a distinctive bald henchman, the location has clearly been chosen for tax reasons, and yes, there are slow-motion doves.

Crucially though, no-one punches a snake and there is no gratuitous shotgun pump-actioning.

 

It's a reasonable three star effort, but I'm docking one for the conceptual cowardice. No-one wants an extended Hard Target universe - all the callbacks do is remind us of a better film that we'd rather be watching.

[Triple A]

Thor: Love & Thunder

 

Pretty good fun but a little all over the place, which I was cool with but can see how others wouldn’t be.

Christian Bale was absolutely awesome, although a bit wasted.

I wouldn’t rush to see it again but had a good time.

 

3

[Turino 73]

On 02/07/2022 at 00:57, Monkeyboy said:

The Stepfather (1987)

 

I actually watched the remake some time ago, having never seen the original. No idea why. Anyway, the remake is terrible. The original isn't. I was pleasantly surprised to see in the opening credits that the screenplay was penned by one of my favourite crime authors, Donald E. Westlake. So no surprise that this film is very tightly plotted without an ounce of fat on its bones. All held together by a superb performance from Terry O' Quinn.

 

4 out of 5

"waiiit a minute.... who am I here? Oh yes, thanks honey"

Chilling

[ScouserInExile]

Spiderhead 

 

There are films that just touch something inside you, like they've run their fingers through your soul. Films that make you re-evaluate what a film is, what art is and sometimes life itself. Films that leave such a lasting impression on your very existence that you know you'll  remember where you were when you first saw it, that you'll talk about forever, that you'll watch and rewatch and spot something new with each viewing.

 

This isn't one of those films. It's shit.

 

I liked the concept of it, I liked the "70s Bond villain's lair" setting but everything else was awful.

 

I'm not even going to bother spoilering this bit, but the worst part about it is the big twist / reveal that sets up the ending. The whole plot is that the antagonist is experimenting on prisoners with mind control drugs. Then, after a while of this, the protagonist realises the plan for these mind control drugs is to control minds. Shocking.

 

It also wasn't the film I thought it was. I was expecting a mindless action flick with Ryan Reynolds.

 

1/5 

[Festoon]

On 09/07/2022 at 01:13, Vimster said:

The Stepfather (1987)

First-rate suspense, it's perfectly paced, there doesn't feel like an ounce of fat on the plot either. Terry O'Quinn nails the step-dad with family-related issues, flipping between the impression of the perfect father and the on-the-edge nutcase to scarily great effect.

 

4/5

 

O'Quinn is the finest example of an actor with what I call 'dark charisma'. He's super magnetic on screen but you cannot trust him. It's a really rare presence, used to great effect here.

[SuperCapes]

The Sea Beast

 

Might be a bit biased since I am boatin' regular like in Sea of Thieves, but had an absolute blast with The Sea Beast. 

 

Weird animation syncing aside, it is a visually beautiful journey, with a pretty heart warming tale. Writing is a bit all over, but as a whole package well worth a dive, especially if you have wee bairns. 

 

3.5/5 shanties. 

[teddymeow]

The Batman

 

Loved it at the cinema - R-Batz is an excellent Batman. Had to split it over two nights due to length (oo-er, Matron!!)

 

Action is still crunchy, Gotham is still soggy, atmosphere is still oppressively grim. Serkis and Wright are criminally underused. Kravitz is fantastic and applause for Farrell and Turturro.

 

It's bloody great!!

 

5 grappling hook shots through the leg / 5.

 

Batman Begins

A different take on the caped crusader. It's a more polished Gotham (even the Narrows doesn't feel anywhere near as dirty as anything in the latest film) and the Bale portrayal of Wayne is slicker. 

 

Caine and Oldman are perfectly cast and Freeman has a lot of fun with his role too as does Neeson.

 

4 prototype bat cowls / 5.

[Thor]

Watched all the Mission: Impossibles over the past week. 

 

Mission: Impossible

Still great, even now. 

4/5

 

M:I 2

I actually don't think Dougray Scott is a crap actor, but he was out of his depth in this. Newton was amazing and saved the movie from being completely shit. Hopkins has a really bad sexist line too. Style over substance. 

2/5

 

M:I 3

Back on track, but still not hitting the highs of the first. Still, it introduced Pegg's character, and to think that was originally supposed to be Ricky twatting Gervais. 

3.5/5

 

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

More of the same. It's a decent movie, but I was never all that enamoured with this one. 

3/5

 

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

Still my favourite, I really love the twisty nature of the story involving Ilsa Faust, Ferguson is superb. Also, Harris makes for a pretty decent villain. 

4.5/5

 

Mission: Impossible - Fallout 

An excellent continuation of the story from Rogue Nation while tying up a loose end. Cavill is really great, so it's a shame Basset was left as the usual CIA 'I want Hunt's head on a stick; oh, actually he's okay now' muppet. They've pulled the dickhead CIA boss thing too many times now. Still, some terrific action, and it clears the slate for the new films. 

4/5

[teddymeow]

7 hours ago, Thor said:

 

 

M:I 2

I actually don't think Dougray Scott is a crap actor, but he was out of his depth in this. Newton was amazing and saved the movie from being completely shit. Hopkins has a really bad sexist line too. Style over substance. 

2/5

 

M:I 3

Back on track, but still not hitting the highs of the first. Still, it introduced Pegg's character, and to think that was originally supposed to be Ricky twatting Gervais. 

3.5/5

 

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

More of the same. It's a decent movie, but I was never all that enamoured with this one. 

3/5

 

 

 

M:I 2 - Could have been 20 minutes shorter without the slo-mo!!

 

M:I 3 - Gervais?! Say whaaaaaaaaat?!!!

 

M:I 4 - One of my faves. Probably because it's got Renner in it - I'm a sucker for Hawkeye.

[Thor]

3 minutes ago, teddymeow said:

M:I 3 - Gervais?! Say whaaaaaaaaat?!!!

I'm pretty sure he was actually cast in the role, but there were delays in production which lead to him pulling out. Thankfully.