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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


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3 minutes ago, Doctor Shark said:

Elden Ring: we’ve given players a jump button!

 

Also Elden Ring: lol Haligtree 

I arrived here last night and I'm about to tackle it. So far I've had at least 30 deaths getting to the first Grace which is when I knew it was time to switch off lol

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9 minutes ago, Minion said:

I feel like the Greatswords in this are pretty disappointing. Nothing is as good as the claymore (I mean they never are) but usually there's a bunch which are decent in their own right. yes the Blasphemus blade is fantastic for it's weapon skill and buff but you're not getting that till mid/late game. There is the sword of Night and flame but it requires both Int and Fth. thes rest of them just seem weak and/or short. The gargoyles black blade for instance, should be brilliant but it's so short for a gargoyle weapon it should be bigger. Have I missed any decent greatswords that aren't the Claymore?

 

Tried the 

 

Spoiler

Godslayer's Greatsword?

 

More like a greatsword in speed and damage than a collosal sword, but has immense range and a weapon art that can one shot stuff.

 

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9 minutes ago, Minion said:

I feel like the Greatswords in this are pretty disappointing. Nothing is as good as the claymore (I mean they never are) but usually there's a bunch which are decent in their own right. yes the Blasphemus blade is fantastic for it's weapon skill and buff but you're not getting that till mid/late game. There is the sword of Night and flame but it requires both Int and Fth. thes rest of them just seem weak and/or short. The gargoyles black blade for instance, should be brilliant but it's so short for a gargoyle weapon it should be bigger. Have I missed any decent greatswords that aren't the Claymore?

 

Sword of Night and Flame is actually just a straight sword, not even a greatsword! The Iron Greatsword is quite similar to the claymore - slightly different moveset but is generally a bit better at dealing damage at the expense of heavier weight. Might be interesting enough if you're looking to mix things up though.

 

I agree with you on the Blasphemous Blade - it is very fun to use. I think it might be pretty fun to make it into a challenge run - see if you can get it before taking down any other Shardbearers perhaps! 

 

Also the Golden Order Greatsword is brilliant for FTH-scaling holy damage...but even later game to get... Maybe the Valiant Gargoyle Greatsword is worth a look? I'm pretty sure that scales with FTH as well and can be obtained relatively early.

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As I predicted, Malenia was pretty simple with my no-shield crit build! Managed to solo it without summoning a companion, and it was MILES easier than the dual katana fight. I mean, I learned a LOT from that experience that helped in this instance, but still, the difference was stark! Vid below:

 

Spoiler

 

 

Not the cleanest fight as I was still learning how best to use Flame of the Redmanes, and I got hit a lot as I was trying to get a bit cheeky in the hope of interrupting more attacks. I'm pretty sure I managed to stunlock her for the duration of phase 1 in one early attempt, but couldn't repeat that feat subsequently, so maybe I'm misremembering. Also, my stat spread is such a mess I'm sure I could've been doing way more damage, but I'll take it!

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4 minutes ago, Benny said:

Godslayer's Greatsword?

 

More like a greatsword in speed and damage than a collosal sword, but has immense range and a weapon art that can one shot stuff.

 

Ahh yes I've had a brief play but I didn't move it to my new character, I think I will next time I move a bunch of weapons across thanks!

 

3 minutes ago, imp said:

 

Sword of Night and Flame is actually just a straight sword, not even a greatsword! The Iron Greatsword is quite similar to the claymore - slightly different moveset but is generally a bit better at dealing damage at the expense of heavier weight. Might be interesting enough if you're looking to mix things up though.

 

I agree with you on the Blasphemous Blade - it is very fun to use. I think it might be pretty fun to make it into a challenge run - see if you can get it before taking down any other Shardbearers perhaps! 

 

Also the Golden Order Greatsword is brilliant for FTH-scaling holy damage...but even later game to get... Maybe the Valiant Gargoyle Greatsword is worth a look? I'm pretty sure that scales with FTH as well and can be obtained relatively early.

 

Oh yes of course it's just a straight sword! Ooh the iron greatsword I don't have this on either of my characters, looks like it's only available in later game areas as a drop so I will have to farm for this as it does look interesting thanks. I love the gargoyle weapons, I think they look great I'm just disappointed that they seem so small! I've got both the Valiant's sword and twinblade plus also the Black Twinblade and Black Sword from the one outside the beat Clergyman who I think is one of my favourite looking enemies in the game even though he's just a wax covered gargoyle lol! But yeah I'm using these in fury right now as I love their design but they're just a little too short. I've been spoiled by the Claymore, it's a beast as always!

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19 minutes ago, Minion said:

I feel like the Greatswords in this are pretty disappointing. Nothing is as good as the claymore (I mean they never are) but usually there's a bunch which are decent in their own right. yes the Blasphemus blade is fantastic for it's weapon skill and buff but you're not getting that till mid/late game. There is the sword of Night and flame but it requires both Int and Fth. thes rest of them just seem weak and/or short. The gargoyles black blade for instance, should be brilliant but it's so short for a gargoyle weapon it should be bigger. Have I missed any decent greatswords that aren't the Claymore?

 

I'm using this as my main weapon: https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/Magma+Wyrm's+Scalesword

 

Absolute powerhouse of a weapon. Very high damage output, good reach, not too slow, free fire damage and a skill that rivals Horafrost in that it destroys everything to the front and sides of you. Scaling in STR/FTH.

 

I really struggled with some of the Volcano Manor assassinations with my previous weapons, but this thing kills them in two hits at +9 and 50 FTH 25 STR. The bosses/high level enemies that you find roaming around are just like normal enemies with this sword. Bring out a +10 Mimic and it's not even fair. Gargoyles down in minutes. Mohg, the Omen, completely trivialised and humiliated. I've been helping out on bosses and for once in my Souls career actually feel useful. Give it a try.

 

 

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For those chumps I just spammed 

 

Spoiler

Lighting spear at them. It's killed I think every NPC invasion in my entire game :lol:

 

It just seems to stun them constantly, they chug a potion, rinse repeat.

 

Oh except the Roundtable asshole.

 

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4 minutes ago, Uncle Nasty said:

 

I'm using this as my main weapon: https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/Magma+Wyrm's+Scalesword

 

Absolute powerhouse of a weapon. Very high damage output, good reach, not too slow, free fire damage and a skill that rivals Horafrost in that it destroys everything to the front and sides of you. Scaling in STR/FTH.

 

I really struggled with some of the Volcano Manor assassinations with my previous weapons, but this thing kills them in two hits at +9 and 50 FTH 25 STR. The bosses/high level enemies that you find roaming around are just like normal enemies with this sword. Bring out a +10 Mimic and it's not even fair. Gargoyles down in minutes. Mohg, the Omen, completely trivialised and humiliated. I've been helping out on bosses and for once in my Souls career actually feel useful. Give it a try.

 

 

 

Ha I just killed the boss in Gaol Cave with it, I had moved it to my character as I had seen an earlier post you made on it and god damn you're right it's insanely powerful even at 23 Str and 23 Fth 2 L2's had done half his health bar, another one of those and a couple of hits and he was dead. Nice! I missed this cave on my first playthrough too. This is definitely staying in the arsenal. 

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I shouldn't have slept on that weapon when I first got it, I was all set to spec some levels in order to wield it, then shinier shit came along.

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31 minutes ago, imp said:

As I predicted, Malenia was pretty simple with my no-shield crit build! Managed to solo it without summoning a companion, and it was MILES easier than the dual katana fight. I mean, I learned a LOT from that experience that helped in this instance, but still, the difference was stark! Vid below:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Not the cleanest fight as I was still learning how best to use Flame of the Redmanes, and I got hit a lot as I was trying to get a bit cheeky in the hope of interrupting more attacks. I'm pretty sure I managed to stunlock her for the duration of phase 1 in one early attempt, but couldn't repeat that feat subsequently, so maybe I'm misremembering. Also, my stat spread is such a mess I'm sure I could've been doing way more damage, but I'll take it!

 

So CLEAN. I hate you.

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37 minutes ago, imp said:

As I predicted, Malenia was pretty simple with my no-shield crit build! Managed to solo it without summoning a companion, and it was MILES easier than the dual katana fight. I mean, I learned a LOT from that experience that helped in this instance, but still, the difference was stark! Vid below:

 

  Hide contents

 

 

Not the cleanest fight as I was still learning how best to use Flame of the Redmanes, and I got hit a lot as I was trying to get a bit cheeky in the hope of interrupting more attacks. I'm pretty sure I managed to stunlock her for the duration of phase 1 in one early attempt, but couldn't repeat that feat subsequently, so maybe I'm misremembering. Also, my stat spread is such a mess I'm sure I could've been doing way more damage, but I'll take it!

 

Incredible! Not just the way you completely avoided damage from Waterfowl in phase 1 which everyone should study but how you also trivialised her moveset with your own counters. Well done!

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1 hour ago, Hawklord said:

I haven't had the heart to use the Jellyfish since

 

  Hide contents

Don't open unless you've been to Mountaintops of the Giants

 

  Reveal hidden contents

I re-united her with her sister

 

 


 

I appear to have not done that as I 

 

Spoiler

Killed the talking jellyfish in an attempt to open the sealed door. I would not have guessed the spirit jellyfish was her sister.


C’est la vie!

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Got to the fire giant the other day and had 2-3 goes against him. On one of them he covered me in snow and killed me in one shot before I was a third of the way to him. Today I had a go and did him second time with no drama whereas Mohg was a right prick until I put a blood ash of war on my Flamberge sword that already had bloodloss as a passive effect. Took me more goes than it should've to realise though

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To whomever it was who felt the controls were unresponsive , and seemingly did things they shouldn't...i completely fucking agree!!!

 

I'd thought it before, but, after taking a break and playing DaS3, they are poor in comparison! constantly either over extending an input que waaaay more than it should , or doing things it shouldnt be doing, long after you've pushed the buttons.

 

Im not sure if this is to do with the garbage "anti-cheat" they added on PC, but, in comparison,. its very hard to play now!? its bizarre just how much more "responsive" DaS3 feels :blink:.

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52 minutes ago, Minion said:

 

Incredible! Not just the way you completely avoided damage from Waterfowl in phase 1 which everyone should study but how you also trivialised her moveset with your own counters. Well done!

 

I actually took a hit on the roll through the third flurry - I was fractionally early! I'll get a perfect dodge on video one day...

 

Anyway, half the battle is expecting the attack, I'd say. As she doesn't use it until she's taken about 1/3 of her life bar in damage, when I reach that point and knock her down I'll try and get some distance from her which seems to trigger the attack while also making it easier to escape.

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1 hour ago, Doctor Shark said:

I died more times in the opening bit of Haligtree just trying to get down the branches than I did in the rest of the game combined :lol:

I use those rainbow stone things for every drop now after dying on the accursed Haligtree

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2 hours ago, Doctor Shark said:


Thems rookie numbers. 

 

Right.

I once lost 80k souls, but I don't think I've ever lost over 50k souls/runes ever again. If the numbers get too high I always have an item handy to prevent that. Other than that I use runes asap. Saves me a lot of grief.

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I just lost 240000 runes to bunch of shitty fire worshipping bastards. Forgot to level up at the grace point and they ambushed me. Went for a mad dash to get them back and then got jumped by a sneaky dog. 
 

In a rage I went back to systematically execute them all. Needless to say that turned into a shit show so I ran away. 

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11 hours ago, Chadruharazzeb said:

Finally got to everyone's favourite farming spot in Mogwai Palace. I'm perpetually astonished in some areas when there's loads of bloodstains on the floor and I think how have so many people died here? Especially at the farming spot where you have

  Reveal hidden contents

mooks who are literally asleep and can be one-shotted with a backstab, and a couple of idiotic guards who do nothing but cartwheel around like a junior gymnast. 

 

 

Bloodstain? Likely, pathetic sort... 

 

Is my most upvoted message beside one of these weird spots that I can't work out what is killing so many people 

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1 hour ago, Mike S said:


 

I appear to have not done that as I 

 

  Hide contents

Killed the talking jellyfish in an attempt to open the sealed door. I would not have guessed the spirit jellyfish was her sister.


C’est la vie!

 

You monster! :D

 

Fucking Haligtree. 2 hours to get from there to here. Been a while since I felt under powered!

 

Spoiler

1909214851_18005f042e488-screenshotUrl(1).thumb.jpg.32010a7e07c3094d1e0cf478d0bba0f1.jpg

 

Got Loretta 1st attempt though so swings and roundabouts lol

 

 

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Mountaintops area feels very Skyrim, and not in a good way. I'm up to Castle Sol now, hoping it'll get more interesting. 110 hours in currently and I'm definitely feeling the pull to play something less oppressive now, but I know I won't be able to until I've rinsed this entirely. Maybe this zone is just one massive area too many.

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Playing fully solo with no ash summons is weird. So far, aside from Radahn, Commander Niall has been by far the hardest boss. That said, I’ve got Milenia, real Mohg and the Godskin duo open to me now and they’re all kicking my ass. Anything with more than one boss enemy seems really tough, except the two gargoyles who were pretty easy. 

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4 hours ago, Minion said:

 

You shouldn't worrying about levelling more, I was fighting him with 52 vigor and I was struggling. You could try putting your sign down either there or at an easier boss where you might be guarenteed a payout for levels, such as Mohg


I know I could do that, but I’m more flustered at the point that I found it so much easier.
More vigor so I can survive two hits would be why I’d levelled. I’ve always maintained being able to survive two hits is the way to go. 

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For anyone losing a tonne of runes, just equip the sacrificial twig for safety when you start to get nervous.
 

This has saved me a few times where I’ve been loaded and caught out. There’s ample around, I think I have like 5 in my inventory.

 

Just remember that if you survive to your next grace, unequip it after you’ve spent them as you can find yourself saving a paltry amount. One time I forgot and literally saved 1 rune when I was at a boss. :facepalm:

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I'm afraid I'm my own worse enemy when it comes to rune loss.

 

I forget to pick them up. I wander off to visit something else that looks interesting, die and then remember... I make silly casual mistakes when going back to collect them again.

 

Four times last night I lost around 30k runes, that's three levels worth for me. I hate it, it's more frustrating than anything else in the game....

 

...Apart from the fucking stonesword key message not disappearing... Why can't I lock on, why can't I block, what's going on? FFS.

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I've probably lost tons of runes overall, but never lost more than a couple of k at most in a single go.  I know the numbers go up in the later game, and I'm not there yet, but if I ever get a big bunch of runes from a boss fight then I always treat myself to a level up.  If I build up runes when exploring, once I get to a few k then when I reach a grace site I usually teleport to a merchant and buy a spell or equipment I don't have, or upgrade a summons, or even just top up my arrows, then teleport back and keep exploring with empty pockets.

 

Finally had a good night and made a bit of progress in Caelid. Did the Erdtree Avatar, a double mini-boss in a cave and Commander O Neil, all without any real trouble, so I'm not feeling completely underpowered here any more.  

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