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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


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2 hours ago, Davros sock drawer said:

 

No, it's not like that. You can buy an item which will help. 

 

Spoiler

The Torch? I wondered when that would be useful!

 

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23 minutes ago, Girth Certificate said:

Bubble blowing snowman FUCKS. I won’t forget this

 

Are those the one's I referred to as saxophone playing weebles?

 

 

csjH2-1469114004-embed-weebles_2.jpg

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46 minutes ago, englishbob said:

The Valiant Gargoyles. Are these some sort of online co-op boss thing? The difficulty of these things in the context of the level they belong in is bloody ridiculous


You’ve just got to go all in on the first one so it’s dead before the second reaches you!

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1 hour ago, Doctor Shark said:

 


Do you RP walk everywhere? Die a lot? How can you have played that long yet only be that level and in that zone?!?


Oh I finished that level ages ago. It’s just where I like to pose. :)

 

I don’t die an excessive amount, but I do like to take my time. Personally I don’t understand how anyone can finish this in under 100 hours unless they’re missing out huge chunks of the game. What’s the rush anyway? 

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1 hour ago, Girth Certificate said:

Bubble blowing snowman FUCKS. I won’t forget this

 

1 hour ago, Kirby said:

 

Are those the one's I referred to as saxophone playing weebles?

 

 

csjH2-1469114004-embed-weebles_2.jpg


Bubble Trumpets!!!

 

 

Reading all these posts about weapons and skills and ashes etc; I can’t help but feel I play the game in a really simple form. Which doesn’t surprise me. I don’t generally like to go outside of my comfort zone. I’m just two handing a sword you can’t even put ashes onto. Seems really basic and I’m probably missing out. 

 

Also, I’m back wondering wtf to do next lol. Oh, I was currently failing at the stupid chariots dungeon. Looks like a couple of right cunts are waiting at the end of it 😩 so I might ditch that.


Was hopefully going to do some streaming tonight complete with swearing at the TV, but so far the laptop says no …

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After you kill Radahn...

 

Spoiler

Are you supposed to be able to infer where the star falls? I had to look it up. Blaidd was there after the battle but he just said something like the 'Way is now clear'. Seeing as I last saw him in the Siofra River, it seems like a bit of a stretch for the game to expect you to figure out where to go next, unless I'm missing something.

 

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10 minutes ago, NexivRed said:

 


Bubble Trumpets!!!

 

 

Reading all these posts about weapons and skills and ashes etc; I can’t help but feel I play the game in a really simple form. Which doesn’t surprise me. I don’t generally like to go outside of my comfort zone. I’m just two handing a sword you can’t even put ashes onto. Seems really basic and I’m probably missing out. 

 

Also, I’m back wondering wtf to do next lol. Oh, I was currently failing at the stupid chariots dungeon. Looks like a couple of right cunts are waiting at the end of it 😩 so I might ditch that.


Was hopefully going to do some streaming tonight complete with swearing at the TV, but so far the laptop says no …

 

What's brilliant is you can play it how you're comfortable with. Part of my time has I'm sure been going back to the less lethal areas with a new weapon putting a few levels of stones into it and having a great time paffing everything. 

 

Love the charged double handed attack of this beauty. I have it up to +14 and it absolutely destroys even multiple Cristalians in some of the dungeons. No from game (before Bloodborne) has let me do this or motivated me to before.

 

monks_flamemace_hammer_weapon_elden_ring_wiki_guide_200px.png.8b2bb4766697a73b48df8dd7cc8c5109.png

 

Also speaking of Bloodborne  I found this awesome bit of fun in a certain manor ...

 

Spoiler

elden-ring-ghizas-wheel-1068x534.thumb.jpg.28a93f47901d3ab96dcd22b251cb350b.jpg

 

 

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5 hours ago, Moz said:

if you switch to keen affinity and lose unsheathe

 

You don't need to lose unsheath, you can pick it up I think in agheel lake a the beginning and apply it to the uchi with whatever scaling you want.

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48 minutes ago, NexivRed said:

 


Bubble Trumpets!!!

 

 

Reading all these posts about weapons and skills and ashes etc; I can’t help but feel I play the game in a really simple form. Which doesn’t surprise me. I don’t generally like to go outside of my comfort zone. I’m just two handing a sword you can’t even put ashes onto. Seems really basic and I’m probably missing out. 

 

Also, I’m back wondering wtf to do next lol. Oh, I was currently failing at the stupid chariots dungeon. Looks like a couple of right cunts are waiting at the end of it 😩 so I might ditch that.


Was hopefully going to do some streaming tonight complete with swearing at the TV, but so far the laptop says no …

Fuck that, how are you missing out playing the game your way.  You aren't.  

 

Its why I like the open world nature of it. You can't really do it wrong can you? 

 

Bubble trumpets though.  Just the best.  I feel so bad killing the bubble trumpets. He said after the 30th time warping into the Capitol. 

 

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26 minutes ago, Jamie John said:

After you kill Radahn...

 

  Hide contents

Are you supposed to be able to infer where the star falls? I had to look it up. Blaidd was there after the battle but he just said something like the 'Way is now clear'. Seeing as I last saw him in the Siofra River, it seems like a bit of a stretch for the game to expect you to figure out where to go next, unless I'm missing something.

 

It seemed pretty obvious to me. 

 

Spoiler

In the cutsecene the meteor landed to the west, I just made a plan to go in straight line across the map westwards, teleported to fort haight to start and boom! lol. 

 

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1 hour ago, Davros sock drawer said:


Oh I finished that level ages ago. It’s just where I like to pose. :)

 

I don’t die an excessive amount, but I do like to take my time. Personally I don’t understand how anyone can finish this in under 100 hours unless they’re missing out huge chunks of the game. What’s the rush anyway? 


I get not rushing - I did pretty much everything the game has to offer in just over 100 hours - but I also don’t understand how it can take so long, either. 

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52 minutes ago, Minion said:

 

You don't need to lose unsheath, you can pick it up I think in agheel lake a the beginning and apply it to the uchi with whatever scaling you want.


True true, if you’ve found it. And duplicate it as needed!

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Evergaol Crucible Knight second phase. Where in the name of living fuck is the window to attack? He just never stops. I have him down to about an 8th of his health with 8 flasks and he just goes potty. 
 

I made a song about him. It goes “crucible knight is a cunt…” that’s about as far as I’ve got so far. 

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16 hours ago, Doctor Shark said:


I told you, man: that prawn homing missile spell WRECKS the second phase of the final fight. I tried strength, I tried sorcery, I tried faith and nothing worked. Then I went faith with that spell, killed him first attempt. 

Thanks for this, killed the final boss with prawn silly string. Blood build just wasn’t doing it so a quick respect to faith, blasphemous bladed the first form and silly stringed the last guy. Peasy. Not seen the ending yet tho, will tidy up some lose strands tomorrow and see if I can platinum it. 

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I love how the map in this is sort of a giant puzzle. I spied a little shack up in the mountains from standing outside the Gelmir Hero Grace, and gradually picked out the path to it. It led to couple of bosses and a new named area I’d probably never have found without a guide:

 

Spoiler

Hermit Village


Wake up Maggie I think I’ve got Something to Say to You +22…

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Five times in a row I’ve tried to summon two people for the shitty Draconic sentinel fight, and five times in a row I’ve been invaded by different people who teleport around and are completely impervious to my attacks. I have gigabit internet and a 12ms RTT to Sony’s servers. I just don’t understand how Souls netcode is so bad after so many years. They aren’t even good, they’re leaving opening after opening and my horizontal moonveil R1 passes straight through them for 0dmg. 
 

The galling part is that I get invaded with 100% reliability but it takes maybe 50 clicks on a summon sign before I can summon each person. Same as every other souls game. The PVP communities for these games baffle me when it barely works at the best of times. 

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13 hours ago, Retroid said:

 

This is fairly vague, I can't tell where you are from this, have you just finished the Tutorial and went up against a Golden Knight or a Giant? Leave them for later, in fact leave anything for later if you feel massively outclassed and just wander.

 

Also rolling (or jumping, running out of reach) for big heavy attacks is advisable. I'm not currently using a Shield so that style of combat is a bit alien to me, there's a ton of newstarter guides out there anyway and there's quite a few videos In the "how do I?" thread.

 

Edit: Cheers to my phone which decided to restore the live version of the thread there. 

 

 

I've done the tutorial and have tried the first dungeon with the wolves but am stumped by the boss there. I also tried the nearby village (Limgate?) which is a stealth section but kept getting stomped by the golden Knight (although have been close a few times). I wandered over the bridge to the south of Limgate and needed to avoid the Knight. Knights in general are OP for me right now although I did manage to take one down in horsie combat. I haven't played again since I originally posted but generally couldn't work out if I was losing to high powered ads because I was shit or if the game is trying to tell me to avoid them at this stage.

 

Something specific I couldn't work out is how to conjure spirits. I've got a wolf pack spirit thingy but when I try and use it it's blanked out and the game doesn't seem to tell me what I'm missing to use this. This would be useful for bosses I think as it would take their focus off me 100% whereas right now, I don't find useful breaks in their combos.

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