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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


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16 minutes ago, Ste Pickford said:

I got to the Academy main boss last night. Failed first attempt, but she feels quite doable.  It was late so I've left her for tonight.

 

I've got a little question about the Academy layout, and maybe someone could give me a hint or pointer?

 

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I've explored the rooftop sections as best as I'm able to, but I can see some further rooftops with enemies on, and at least one collectable item, that I am unable to reach.  I've had a good look around, twice, and I can't see any obvious ladder or door that I've missed.  Is this somewhere that becomes accessible after I beat the boss, or have I missed something?

 

 

 

try jumping

 

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3 minutes ago, Uncle Nasty said:

 

Whenever I get cocky and full of ideas about revenge and kicking ass like that, I almost always get taken out in a humiliating and pathetic fashion by a mosquito or couple of rats. Even the lowest tier of enemies can still ruin your day despite your super levelled loadout. There will always be something lurking off camera to bite or stagger you.

 

yeah - those marionette archers are usually the worst... end up getting totally Boromir'd. 

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9 hours ago, Alan Stock said:

 

How's it affected your gameplay having that much endurance early on? I take it you are just able to attack in big chains and with your good DPS you're ripping through mobs?

 

It mostly allows me to play the game the way I play Ninja Gaiden — i.e. entirely based on rushing in, executing quick chains of attacks and dodge rolling away from danger. I don't use a shield at all (don't enjoy sword and board much generally), so high endurance was a requirement to allow frequent rolling and to enable me to wear reasonable armour without going above light encumbrance.

 

That, combined with the ease of getting behind enemies (through dodging and stealth) and the talisman that absorbs life on criticals means humanlike mobs are mostly sustenance! 

 

(areas of poison/rot, on the other hand, are a nightmare, as I have to force myself not to roll)

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Just defeated Margit after 34 hours.  I'm still bewildered by the stats, scaling and weapon types. But I've got shield blocking sussed now. That makes a huge difference. Going through Stormveil Castle.  Those crows with blades can fornicate off. I'm using a scimitar like blade that seems to regenerate a bit of health when I kill someone and is pretty quick  and a Zweihander which does good damage but slow.

 

I think it's a good game, but I'm not as obsessed as some of you guys.  I can't play it for too long.  It's very oppressive. I'm more a bright coloured Nintendo type of gamer.

 

So I think I'm going to be playing this all year!!

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32 minutes ago, Davros sock drawer said:

 

The absolute worst. There's one below Lyndell that ruined my evening for a good while.

Ive just met one of these little bastards , any advice for fighting them ? I was on horse back and it kept just flying across the map and twatting me 😕 

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6 minutes ago, Padaxes said:

Ive just met one of these little bastards , any advice for fighting them ? I was on horse back and it kept just flying across the map and twatting me 😕 

 

I've noped out of every encounter with them, but there's a cheese apparently.

 

Spoiler

Faith AOE healing incantations actually injure them

 

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2 hours ago, scottcr said:

My claws are now +12 and combined with the quickstep, it's my favourite weapon now - I'm fat rolling with my greatsword which does huge damage, but the quick dodge and bleed damage with the claws is just *ace* and hoarfrost isn't as powerful anymore which means it's not as much fun.

 

But now I went back to a convoy of basts with two giants pulling a massive coffin towards the lake - I'd normally nope past them, but this time it was absolute carnage.  Like Sir Lancelot from Quest for the Holy Grail.  Great fun.

 

I'm now tempted to go back to Stormveil and rock up to the front door and batter everyone in a similar fashion purely for the lols.

 

I might try this with my upgraded twinblade

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Does anyone know if upgrading the pulley crossbow increases status effect of relevant bolts fired?  I’m enjoying tearing mohg a new one with bleed bolts and I wonder if I could do any more with that status effect

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1 hour ago, Ste Pickford said:

I fought one of these fuckers in mini dungeon / cave in the lakes, and it was one of the hardest boss battles I've had so far.  Needed my wolves to keep it busy, and kept riding past on my horse, swiping at it. 

Just wait until you have to fight one in a tiny room! Tried that one a few times and noped right out for now! Look forward to returning one day and enacting brutal vengance, they're the definition of 'monstrosity ahead'.

 

Got a question about upgrading staffs/incantation gadgets. Upgrading does seem to increase the spell scaling a bit but does it ever translate into anything that's actually worth it, considering the cost? Also when you have incantation gadgets that improve certain classes of spell, does that also affect healing spells like Beastial Vitality? I can't really notice a difference when I try the same spell with different gadgets.

 

Also the worst marionettes are the spear ones, when they start whirling their arms around and charging towards you like a giant lawnmower. There's no escape and without a shield they're a bloody death sentence!

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2 minutes ago, Alan Stock said:

Just wait until you have to fight one in a tiny room! Tried that one a few times and noped right out for now! Look forward to returning one day and enacting brutal vengance, they're the definition of 'monstrosity ahead'.

 

Bizarrely, this was in a tiny room. Well, small-ish.  No idea why you were allowed to use your horse for the boss of a ruin, but a player message outside suggested 'try horseback', and I'm glad I did.

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Just now, Kryptonian said:

Why does no one else hate the hands?! Deviants the lot of you.

The hands are a joke compared to these things. The hands can't vanish into the ground (after appearing) and appear behind you and say BOO.

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2 hours ago, Uncle Nasty said:

 

Whenever I get cocky and full of ideas about revenge and kicking ass like that, I almost always get taken out in a humiliating and pathetic fashion by a mosquito or couple of rats. Even the lowest tier of enemies can still ruin your day despite your super levelled loadout. There will always be something lurking off camera to bite or stagger you.

Groups of rats are a real pain. I’d rather face pretty much any boss than a group of rats. Actually, rats and bats. Is there anywhere with both rats and bats?

 

 

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I've got to the point with my build now where bosses are pretty much the easiest thing in the game. +10 Mimic Tear just keeps them busy (while also doing a resonable amount of damage) and then I spam Great Glinstone Shard at them. Did Margott first go not taking a single bit of damage first go with this strat.

 

However those fucking knights in the Capital with their huge shields and lighting damage weapons can absolutely wreck me.

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4 minutes ago, Kryptonian said:

Why does no one else hate the hands?! Deviants the lot of you.

 

Spoiler

True, they're definitely the most disturbing and shocking. The giant ones are absolute nightmare fuel! I met my first one in a trap where there are little ones and got the shit scared out of me when the big one grabbed me! 

 

Revenants are just horrible bastards.

 

Have to give massive props to the animators in this game, the way some of the creatures move is truly horrifying.

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14 hours ago, robdood said:

Bwahahahah.  MATE.  Just you wait. 

 

image.png.551ff25a5f052547e1cdc5baac810ef2.png

 

Exactly! Does anyone else get trypophobia from Caelid? Those horrid white and red mushroom / holes / rot really trigger me.

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27 minutes ago, Alan Stock said:

 

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True, they're definitely the most disturbing and shocking. The giant ones are absolute nightmare fuel! I met my first one in a trap where there are little ones and got the shit scared out of me when the big one grabbed me! 

 

Revenants are just horrible bastards.

 

Have to give massive props to the animators in this game, the way some of the creatures move is truly horrifying.

Mountaintop of Giants spoiler:

 

https://clips.twitch.tv/RichYawningWhalePicoMause-Sl07R3ZYYDPZLe21

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Early on in the game, when it was windy in Limgrave (around Stormhill particularly) the way the trees animated in the wind I thought they were giant enemies lumbering towards me.


Also, thanks for the help, access the remaining area of rooftops in the Academy.  That jump looked way too far to risk!

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I don't get how people have been playing this for 200+ hours, especially if they have children and work full time. It's been out for 27 days, so to have played 200 hours means you would have to have played it for almost seven and a half hours every day since it was released. I've played it every day since launch and I'm up to 80 hours, which is just under three hours per day, and even that seems like a lot.

 

Is this one of the advantages of 'working' from home?

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26 minutes ago, Ste Pickford said:

Early on in the game, when it was windy in Limgrave (around Stormhill particularly) the way the trees animated in the wind I thought they were giant enemies lumbering towards me.

 

I live in a state of constant fear in this game. Trees, statues, armour racks, other players "ghost" have all scared the crap out of me and just as I let my guard down something will jump from the shadows and stab me in the face. I think I've all but broken my ps5 controller from spamming R3 in a vain attempt to identify any threats.

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35 minutes ago, Jamie John said:

I don't get how people have been playing this for 200+ hours, especially if they have children and work full time. It's been out for 27 days, so to have played 200 hours means you would have to have played it for almost seven and a half hours every day since it was released. I've played it every day since launch and I'm up to 80 hours, which is just under three hours per day, and even that seems like a lot.

 

Is this one of the advantages of 'working' from home?

 

Yes, in so far as I can squeeze in a quick hour before work, in my lunchbreak, and then from 5pm until...oh shit it's 2am again.

 

It's definitely the most unhealthy game I've ever played. 

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