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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


Broker
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@Number 28 Once the initial “wow this is cool” wore off with him, he’s become my least favourite boss by far. He’s a bit bullshit, for sure. 
 

Also, for anyone who has completed the Royal Capital

 

Spoiler

Perhaps there’s a lore reason for Morgott looking like Margit (twin brothers, maybe?) but it was pretty bullshit to see a mid game big name boss who looked the exact damn same as the tutorial boss. He even used the same catch phrase at one point  

 

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Ended up I needed keys to get into the places I went to, so I had a wander, did some Erdtree Bosses and took down CK. Really enjoyable boss. There was only his dragon tail move when you get in close that gave me trouble but it was enough to keep me on the boss for a good hour! 
 

No idea where I should be heading now. Doesn’t seem to have pointed me in any particular direction after Stormveil. Think I’ll just potter around the map again for a bit. :)

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1 hour ago, Alan Stock said:

You've missed a Grace point just outside Stormveil then.

 

@dizzog thanks

 

just use rllmuk lowercase for the password folks, no point in having a bunch of different cases


I’ve got the Grace Point. They seem to point towards the next Grace Point you need to go to and then the next and the next etc, and in doing so lead you down the main path you should take through the game. Thing is, I’ve taken the route and I end up at a location where I need a key to break a seal on a door. I haven’t got the key and have no idea where to get it from. 
 

Just realised I need to carry on following the nearby ones. Led me to where I was earlier and left because I get smashed to bits in a matter of seconds Lol. 

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34 minutes ago, CrichStand said:


I’ve got the Grace Point. They seem to point towards the next Grace Point you need to go to and then the next and the next etc, and in doing so lead you down the main path you should take through the game. Thing is, I’ve taken the route and I end up at a location where I need a key to break a seal on a door. I haven’t got the key and have no idea where to get it from. 
 

Just realised I need to carry on following the nearby ones. Led me to where I was earlier and left because I get smashed to bits in a matter of seconds Lol. 

 

Hint for gate key:

Spoiler

There's a body outside the gate with a big clue. There are 2 gates so check both if you didn't find it. 

 

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1 hour ago, Kzo said:

 

Hint for gate key:

  Reveal hidden contents

There's a body outside the gate with a big clue. There are 2 gates so check both if you didn't find it. 

 


Cheers man! Someone had left a message at one of the gates saying to head West. So I pressed forward. Not sure if I’m in the right place or not but having fun!
 

Just done Loretta. That’s probably my fav boss fight in any Souls game I’ve played so far. Had it on a sliver of health 2–3 rimes and each time the fucker one shotted me! Lol. Felt all the more rewarding when I finally splatted it. 😄

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5 hours ago, 5R7 said:

Jesus titty fucking christ!!!!:huh::blink:

 

This Boss!  (late game, @Curtis was this who you were talking about)

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Malenia

 

fucking hell!!!!! makes Freida look piss easy lol

I think thats my brick wall lol. Can hardly get a summon either as they go instantly haha

Makes Friede look easy? Oh dear, not looking forward to whatever that is! One of the hardest bosses in all of Souls!

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7 hours ago, Davros sock drawer said:

Fucking hell, Caria Manor enemies:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Zelda: “We’ve got creepy hands in our games”

 

Elden Ring: “Hold my beer…”

 

 

 

Haha I got there last night too. Absolutely shat meself when three of them turned up together & I legged it out of there. 
 

dreading going back. 

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9 hours ago, Doctor Shark said:


Wait…which boss are you on about? I thought 

 

  Hide contents

Godfrey, First Elden Lord


was the boss, but then I realised he was the halfway boss. He took 3 attempts. 
 

Then I got to

 

  Hide contents

Morgott, the Omen King

 

And he took two goes. 


The second one got a big reaction out of me:

 

Spoiler

After people struggling with Margitt for hours, the idea of having to fight him again but stronger and faster is hilarious. They’re the two bosses I’ve struggled most with so far.

 

7 hours ago, Doctor Shark said:

@Number 28 Once the initial “wow this is cool” wore off with him, he’s become my least favourite boss by far. He’s a bit bullshit, for sure. 
 

Also, for anyone who has completed the Royal Capital

 

  Hide contents

Perhaps there’s a lore reason for Morgott looking like Margit (twin brothers, maybe?) but it was pretty bullshit to see a mid game big name boss who looked the exact damn same as the tutorial boss. He even used the same catch phrase at one point  

 


 

Spoiler

I think he’s the same person? Fell seems to refer to all the bits growing out of him (there’s another fell boss near Morgott). He’s also the second or third character I’ve found who seems to go by two names, so I’m guessing that’s a thematic thing. 

 

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7 hours ago, Number 28 said:

I just beat the big guy on the comically small horse. I think he glitched though...

  Hide contents

 

 


I had this yesterday:

 

 

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Does anyone else still try to cut the tails off dragons even though you know it's not in this game (but maybe this one is different!)? 

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I appear to have wandered into the Wacky-Fun-Time area (spoilers for the big rocky plateau that runs to the north of Stormveil Castle).

 

Spoiler

an evil skeleton boss in a venice gondola. an evil invisible snail boss. big fuckoff lobster. The Tortoise Pope!!!

 

GOTY(s)

 

The use of colour in the lakes area is incredible. All that blue coming after 20 or so hours of brown and grey. People can talk about the technical aspects all they want but this is an undeniably beautiful game

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I’m also nervous every chest will be a mimic despite being 70 hours deep and not seeing one. Most of us have seen plenty of this games equivalent, but I can’t shake the feeling that sticking one in a hundred hours into the game would be the most From Software thing ever.

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1 minute ago, Broker said:

I’m also nervous every chest will be a mimic despite being 70 hours deep and not seeing one. Most of us have seen plenty of this games equivalent, but I can’t shake the feeling that sticking one in a hundred hours into the game would be the most From Software thing ever.

 

Considering what they did with fake walls... I'm very scared...

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Just found the [Aldus Plateau related ...]

Spoiler

Village of Windmills

Creepiest area so far with it's folk horror vibes and enemy behaviour/ noises!  Considering this is meant to be more of a fantasy setting, this game does a good job of out-horroring Bloodborne in places. 

 

Anyway - back to the convo I was having with someone earlier (sorry can't remember who it was) regarding whether there's a defined/set order to take down the "Big Bosses" ...

Spoiler

I feel that, at this point, the Plateau and the Capital aren't the only options for places to go - I also ended up over in Caelid fighting Radahn, who is another big boss - seeing as the guy in Round Table Hold is heavily signposting me towards the Capital I think there's a big boss (one with a great rune) waiting for me there too? So maybe I was right in saying there isn't a set order?

 

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2 hours ago, joemul said:

Haha I got there last night too. Absolutely shat meself when three of them turned up together & I legged it out of there. 
 

dreading going back. 

 

Got there the other day ... they're not as hard to kill as you'd think, but they hit very very hard.

 

Now, those skellington things with multiple arms that fire hundreds of arrows - a mob of 5 of them means total Boromir Death.

 

I've got the 3 dudes summon and upgraded it to +3.  They're my boys.  My crew.  I wish I could just have them on constantly, they're the best.

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3 minutes ago, Uncle Nasty said:

Does the map zoom out as you uncover more of it? I'm sure this is even bigger again than I thought. The areas I've just uncovered make Stormveil look like a tutorial. Insane.


Yes. 
 

In other “ooh, what’s over there?” news, I ended up finding a legacy dungeon by accident up in Mt. Gelmir

 

Spoiler

It’s just outside Volcano Manor and has a big, fat Godskin (God Skin? God’s Kin?) as the final boss. 

 

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So last night I discovered that (skeleton/catacomb related thing)

 

Spoiler

Necromancers are in this game, the swines. Does holy magic kill skeletons off for good even with the necromancer or not? 

 

From knew exactly what they were doing in the catacomb I was in. Get you running around trying to find the necromancer only to lure you straight down a ladder into a watery basement containing 2 giant enemy crabs.

 

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30 minutes ago, Broker said:

I’m also nervous every chest will be a mimic despite being 70 hours deep and not seeing one. Most of us have seen plenty of this games equivalent, but I can’t shake the feeling that sticking one in a hundred hours into the game would be the most From Software thing ever.

 

They should have a chest after the final boss with a big gold ring on the front that's actually a mimic and the ending is it eating you and then ascending the throne.

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11 minutes ago, Doctor Shark said:


Yes.

 

Crikey. I think this could take me 1000 hours to complete then. Which I'm totally fine with.

 

The graphics and art seem to get better the further you get. The architecture is so exquisitely detailed and on such a grand scale even Aunty Nasty commented on how good it looks.

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Beat that bastard Narikus or whatever he's called. Fucker. 

 

What is the obsession with Bleed in this? Limgrave is the starting area and everyone and their mum attacks you with bleed. Is there a reasonable explantion for why that shit hits you even through blocks?

 

Anyway, messed up our old pal and am now fighting some Duelist, which I misread as Dentist and now I can't get the idea of him being a medieval dentist out of my head.

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Had a really good session on Weeping Peninsula, loads of items found and bosses felled. Went on a brief trip elsewhere and had another sobering moment as to the size of the map. I probably won't finish this before Christmas. Like Nasty says, I'm absolutely happy with that.

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10 hours ago, 5R7 said:

Jesus titty fucking christ!!!!:huh::blink:

 

This Boss!  (late game, @Curtis was this who you were talking about)

  Reveal hidden contents

Malenia

 

fucking hell!!!!! makes Freida look piss easy lol

I think thats my brick wall lol. Can hardly get a summon either as they go instantly haha

Yeah, thats the one. 😪

 

I tried 4-5 times last night but was kinda drunk, so i slept on it and came up with a new strategy which i'll try out later.

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5 minutes ago, NexivRed said:

What are other melee types doing to try and negate magic damage? The fact a lot of it acts like a homing misfile, rolling isn’t always working. 

For the really Mage-heavy (internal) locations i switched my Taslimans to ones that negate Magic and negate non-physical attack damage. That'll take the edge off. Then i normally just bum-rush them and let my shield take the brunt of it. Once you're up close they're fucked.

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