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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


Broker
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27 minutes ago, robdood said:

Here's me clumsily 'smashing' Margit, could defo do this much better, but this was satisfying, stripping huge chunks of his HP.  Only lvl 14 with +3 weapon :)  Got some good dodges in towards the end of the fight. 

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PS the female character noises when getting hit are infuriating. 


That’s some good rolling. It’s what I can never seem to get right enough. I can do well, but then it’s like my panic ramps up and I make mistakes. I also think my brain naturally sucks at patience and timing. 
 

Having something tank for you seems to make a lot of difference, especially as you seem to be a “rogue” with high dps and your attacks are doing even more from behind. 

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11 minutes ago, robdood said:

I love how I know exactly where you're exploring just from this info...

 

The beaches were weird there man. All those poor souls just.. Wandering. Bleak. And amazing. 


You’re right too!

 

Proper fun, zooming down the beach on the horse, charging that Greatsword up and then watching the zombies fly! 

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C6DAE212-AC82-4E79-B5E5-F56FE666C119.thumb.jpeg.c1a0f2cd357ee3289b1c69d6fb0635db.jpeg

 

 

Morning star worth taking the hit in dps for the bleed effect? Cos if so, I’ll start smithing this one instead of continuing with my sword.
 

Got a really nice sword waiting for me when I can carry it better, but if the bleed effect is worth it then this might be a nice stop gap. It’s quicker too. 

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Radahn is a dick. I’ve bailed on that for now. The third tree sentinel fight is also quite something. Can’t find anyone to

summon there (level 65). Anyone in that area?

 

Has anyone found a talisman that’s equivalent to Havel’s ring? I want more equip load.

 

15 hours ago, Davros sock drawer said:

 

It did indeed. I spent ages uncovering the map there, it's three times the size of Limgrave I reckon.

 

I wonder how little of the map Hyrule Field from OoT would take up? :lol:


Not sure how you’d measure it but I want to see that comparison.

 

10 hours ago, CrichStand said:


I think it comes down to how you play the game. I’ve roamed a huge amount of the world - far north, Far East, far west and been to late game areas, with a base character and starting weapon.


I seriously doubt you’ve been to late game areas with a starting weapon. Unless there’s a route to the fourth area that doesn’t require a boss fight?

 

9 hours ago, Opinionated Ham Scarecrow said:

 

Oh snap.

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IMG_20220302_100751.thumb.jpg.3da878c9a1a0a6f94d70181c112bd08d.jpg

 


Where’s this?

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I switched to the morning star since finding it and it’s my main weapon now. Strike damage and bled damage - what’s not to love?

 

Currently at +4. Need to find more smithing stones [2]. 

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3 minutes ago, Broker said:

Radahn is a dick. I’ve bailed on that for now. The third tree sentinel fight is also quite something. Can’t find anyone to

summon there (level 65). Anyone in that area?

 

Has anyone found a talisman that’s equivalent to Havel’s ring? I want more equip load.

 


Not sure how you’d measure it but I want to see that comparison.

 


I seriously doubt you’ve been to late game areas with a starting weapon. Unless there’s a route to the fourth area that doesn’t require a boss fight?

 


Where’s this?


I found a talisman that does that tonight. 
 

Spoiler

Through the Imp statue fog door in the starting area. You have to jump down where the slope narrows and take it from there.

 

That screenshot btw is deeeep underground. Can’t even remember the name of the place now, but it’s reached via the Siofra Well.

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OMG. 🤪

 

Went to have a tidy up round Limgrave before continuing through the castle. Took out the dragon and various other bits. 

 

Then found a shortcut round (hidden in plain sight, how on earth did I miss that?!) to be presented with vastness for want of a better word. Makes starting area look like a playground. 😳😄👌🏽🎉

 

This is unbelievable /incredible. I love it. 🤩

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I’m dual wielding the sword and the morning star. The latter in my main hand, and the bleed effect seems to proc on the third hit of the mobs I’m currently smashing. Not bad. 
 

At another one of those “do I barge through this heavily fortified gate on my horse to see what’s on the other side” moments. 

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3 hours ago, Davros sock drawer said:

So now I’m back through the Imp Door near the start of the game. Question for @Alan Stockor anyone else who has rinsed that bit…

 

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I yoinked the (excellent) talisman from the two spiders, but is there any reason to go back there and kill them? Or is it a dead end?

 

 

 

Spoiler

I didn't bother re-visting the spider bridge, I'm not strong enough to deal with them and prefer not to do kamikaze runs. I assume its a dead end because the boss at the bottom of the dungeon is the main objective. Also just in case you didn't get it, don't forget to drop down from the spider bridge, take the lift up and grab the item on the ledge that the halberd ghost is guarding. I dunno what it is because I died before I could get to it!

 

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3 hours ago, Broker said:


I seriously doubt you’ve been to late game areas with a starting weapon. Unless there’s a route to the fourth area that doesn’t require a boss fight?

 

 

Spoiler

You know theres a shortcut past Stormveil plus teleports into new game worlds. Stick with torrent and you can go nearly anywhere? You can steal tons too. You still have to do the main game though, obv.

 

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4 hours ago, Broker said:

Radahn is a dick. I’ve bailed on that for now. The third tree sentinel fight is also quite something. Can’t find anyone to

summon there (level 65). Anyone in that area?

 

Has anyone found a talisman that’s equivalent to Havel’s ring? I want more equip load.

 


Not sure how you’d measure it but I want to see that comparison.

 


I seriously doubt you’ve been to late game areas with a starting weapon. Unless there’s a route to the fourth area that doesn’t require a boss fight?

 


Where’s this?


I got warped to Caelid, literally right at the start, which was fun, as I didn’t even realise you could fast travel at that point! There’s a portal I found early on that leads to.....

 

Spoiler

Dragonbarrow


You really don’t have to fight that much wherever you go in the open world, as most enemies can be easily avoided. There are bits where you can climb scenery with Torrent too, if you’re really careful.

 

I’ve been to 2 or 3 ends of the world. Not sure how much map I have left to uncover, maybe 1 or 2 pieces. Just decided to finally upgrade stuff other than my endurance and now 2 handing with the Grafted Blade Greatsword instead of the starting Halberd or Spear I found. Absolutely rips through stuff!
 

Think I might have found a Talisman that gives more equip load. I’ll check when I get chance. 

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5 hours ago, Davros sock drawer said:


I found a talisman that does that tonight. 
 

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Through the Imp statue fog door in the starting area. You have to jump down where the slope narrows and take it from there.

 

That screenshot btw is deeeep underground. Can’t even remember the name of the place now, but it’s reached via the Siofra Well.


Thanks! I thought I’d cleared the underground but I guess I missed a bit.

 

2 hours ago, Dimahoo said:

I seriously doubt you’ve been to late game areas with a starting weapon. Unless there’s a route to the fourth area that doesn’t require a boss fight?

 

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You know theres a shortcut past Stormveil plus teleports into new game worlds. Stick with torrent and you can go nearly anywhere.

 

 

I’ve counted wrong I think, probably should have said the seventh area.
 

1 hour ago, CrichStand said:


I got warped to Caelid, literally right at the start, which was fun, as I didn’t even realise you could fast travel at that point! There’s a portal I found early on that leads to.....

 

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Dragonbarrow

 


I’d be interested to see your map. That spoilered area isn’t late game though. I’ve found 9 or 10 warp chests, and the one that took me furthest trapped me in an area you couldn’t get out of, just letting me look at that place, as opposed to the ones that take you somewhere you can actually explore. And that distant location it took me to definitely isn’t the final area or anything. 

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Had what seems to be a weird bug earlier.
 

Was making my way through the castle and had 7,000 odd runes. Nearly enough to level up, so definitely the right figure. I died close to a point of grace, went to collect my lost runes by ended up with only 5,000 runes.
 

That’s not right is it?
 

Suppose I should be relieved I didn’t lose more I guess. 

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3 hours ago, hmm said:

 

Nice. Could you spoiler a more precise location for those enemies please?

 

They're all over Limgrave, man!!  The specific ones I used were due east of the shack where you meet Rodericka on the way to Stormveil.  Or, they are due west of the grace point next to the guy who sells arts of war, if you know where he is. 

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I did the castle at the weeping peninsula but noped out once I got to the boss on the wee island. Tried a summons but still got twatted.

 

I’ve worked my way to the last boss in dark souls but I’m really struggling with this one.

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2 minutes ago, Sexton Hardcastle said:

There is someone in the castle who steals some runes every time you drop them. 


Whaaaaat?! That’s mean!

 

Will be more careful from here on in. 

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6 hours ago, CrichStand said:


You’re right too!

 

Proper fun, zooming down the beach on the horse, charging that Greatsword up and then watching the zombies fly! 

You monster! I just sort of rode past slowly and felt sad. 

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7 hours ago, robdood said:

Had to get some better fashion than that stupid green and orange default guard chest piece!! Everyone's bloody wearing it!!  Remembered there were a pair of those greatsword mercenary type dudes near stormveil, popped a chicken foot and between them they dropped the whole set!! Loving my new look :D

 

image.png.9716673a035177838bccb29e69c3d387.png


where did you get those knives, bud?

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6 hours ago, NexivRed said:

your attacks are doing even more from behind.

Just to say, that isn't really a thing in this game.  What was happening was I was using a tasty battle art, and I proc'd bleed on him at one point, which did about 20% of his health in one go!. 

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5 minutes ago, joemul said:


where did you get those knives, bud?

One is starting knife for bandit. 

 

The second is from an NPC invader you've probably met in the river attached to Agheel's lake. 

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