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What’s the worst film you have ever seen?

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The Day After Tomorrow has to be up there. A new Ice Age is upon us and the biggest threat the film makers could come up with were 2 wolves. Jake Gylenhal also has to outrun wind. 

 

Moulin Rouge. You know a romance hasn't worked when you can't wait for the female lead to die already. 

 

Dogma. 2 hours of people talking about God and a shit monster. No thanks.

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In a cinema, the Grudge 2. So bad I don't remember any of it, just the overriding feeling that it was a complete piece of shit.

 

At home, Alien v Predator Requiem. A film so bad the ending is more or less the director acknowledging that the thing is a complete shitshow of no redeeming quality that should be wiped from the earth. A film where the best thing about it is the fact the Predator featured got the now accepted but unofficial title of the Wolf Predator, after Harvey Keitel's famous home insurance selling Pulp Fiction character, because it spends the entire film cleaning up. A film so bad, and badly made, that most of it is so dark you can't actually see anything, like the film is shy and embarrassed of itself and doesn't actually want you to see it.

 

An awful film. Not just bad in quality in every way, but kinda pathetic with it.

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Actually forgot to add Independence Day Resurgence.  I went to see it and I couldn't tell you anything of what happend. Because I fell asleep in the IMAX.

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The 2003 Hulk film which was truly shite.  Only film I have ever walked out of a cinema on.

 

The most disappointed I have been with a film was The Phantom Menace, which I was super hyped for at the time and turned out to be a total turd.  Probably made even worse because I had been blown away by The Matrix which came from nowhere a week or two before hand.:omg:

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American Cyborg Steel Warrior

The Return of the Roller Blade Seven

The Cell

Sucker Punch

Man of Steel

 

Would be the worst five movies I’ve ever seen.

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This question always results in mainstream films, it really winds me up.

 

The reality is that the worst film I've ever seen is a David Decoteau film, I mean the films you all mention at least have 'stuff' happening. In David Decoteau's later films (The 1313 series)  he'll put in long transitional effects such as a waterfall to take up some of the 90mins that he desperately needs to fill. He uses the EXACT SAME shots across MULTIPLE films. In some of his films you'll have someone walking around a house (the same house used in 10 or so of his other films) for like 20 minutes to suspenseful music.

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1 minute ago, Capwn said:

This question always results in mainstream films, it really winds me up.

 

The reality is that the worst film I've ever seen is a David Decoteau film, I mean the films you all mention at least have 'stuff' happening. In David Decoteau's later films he'll put in long transitional effects such as a waterfall to take up some of the 90mins that he desperately needs to fill. He uses the EXACT SAME shots across MULTIPLE films. In some of his films you'll have someone walking around a house (the same house used in 10 or so of his other films) for like 20 minutes to suspenseful music.

 

You get mainstream films as answers because those are the films people actually are interested enough in to go out of their way to watch.  I have never hear of David Decoteau and so obviously have no interest in him or his films, hence I am highly unlikely to watch one.  If I did know of him and that he has made exactly the same film 10 times over and they were all totally irredeemable , then I would be plain bonkers to watch the 11th.  Therefore assuming you are not bonkers you must have an ulterior motive for choosing to watch such films?

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On 11/03/2019 at 10:47, kerraig UK said:

The Day After Tomorrow has to be up there. A new Ice Age is upon us and the biggest threat the film makers could come up with were 2 wolves. Jake Gylenhal also has to outrun wind. 

Was that "for Manchester United!" ?

 

edit Dafuq is the neg for? that's an actual quote from the film

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1 hour ago, dumpster said:

There are a tonne of terrible films out there, some that are so bad they are great (Samurai Cop), some that are so bad they become fascinating (Troll 2, the making of doc 'Best Worst Movie' is really great) but most bad movies are just bad and don't have any redeeming qualities and aren't worth discussing. For a movie to be so bad it's worth discussing but not watching, it has to be something that had potential, maybe a new film in a franchise, a good cast or something.  Star Wars prequels spring to mind.

 

For me, Man of Steel is the worst cinema experience I ever had. Superman has always had the one major flaw that he's invincible apart from when he is exposed to Kryptonite so there's no straightforward way to add new storylines to the character.  Superman 1 was a superhero movie, 2 would have been an endless battle with no winners if Superman hadn't relinquished his power, 3 was just a silly Richard Pryor comedy with a big computer, 4 was shit. In Man Of Steel they seemed to have given up on finding ideas because there's nothing more you can do when your protagonist is invincible, so they went the Transformers route and made a movie which begins with an overly long (hour or so) premise, followed by 6 hours of invincible characters punching each other with no effect other than to make everything around them explode.  It just goes on and on, more fighting, more explosions and you know Superman's going to win, and none of that opening hour really mattered anyway so why should anyone have any interest in taking time from their day to pay to go and see this?  An absolute crock of shit, and further evidence that Superman is a very limited premise. You either have to take away his power or expose him to Kryptonite because if you don't then he's invincible and there's no threat or peril. 

 

Man Of Steel marked the beginning of the current apathy I have to cinema. I go a couple of times a year, but find the majority of big budget blockbusters tedious these days, and prefer exploring unusual quirky films via Netflix etc.

 

I did a review of it on here at the time, in my naivety going into the cinema expecting a rollercoaster of excitement only to see some dreadful thesp hamming from Crowe and Shannon, and then people crying a lot. It was like the middle section of Superman II run to more than two hours. But the most memorable bit is when he meets a cop at the end and she makes a weak gag and the entire cinema roared with laughter, like there was some major cathartic relief after two hours of misery nobody expected or wanted. Also that if it hadn't been so busy and I was stuck in middle of row I'd have walked out much sooner.

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Stumbled across an absolute stinker yesterday on Amazon Prime 

 

You're Never Too Young To Rock (1976)

 

TV Rock concerts are banned/cancelled (in favour of Silver (Brass) Bands).   A bloke called Hero drives round with Freddie Jones (Toby's Dad) in a 'Group Detector Van' to locate rock groups for a concert which will apparently save Rock concerts for kids.   The bands they detect are  Mud,  The Rubettes and The Glitter Band.   Film makes no sense and is so unfunny it's almost funny.   Couple of good songs.

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3 minutes ago, JPickford said:

Stumbled across an absolute stinker yesterday on Amazon Prime 

 

You're Never Too Young To Rock (1976)

 

TV Rock concerts are banned/cancelled (in favour of Silver (Brass) Bands).   A bloke called Hero drives round with Freddie Jones (Toby's Dad) in a 'Group Detector Van' to locate rock groups for a concert which will apparently save Rock concerts for kids.   The bands they detect are  Mud,  The Rubettes and The Glitter Band.   Film makes no sense and is so unfunny it's almost funny.   Couple of good songs.

 

wait, that's on prime?

 

rock on!

 

(I've only ever seen it once before, and that wasn't even all the way through. What about Slade in Flame, is that on there?)

 

 

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41 minutes ago, Purin said:

Highlander 2

Most disappointing sequel of all time without question, just everything about it was total shit. I remember walking out of the cinema with my brother totally gobsmacked, neither of us could speak.

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42 minutes ago, Capwn said:

This question always results in mainstream films, it really winds me up.

 

The reality is that the worst film I've ever seen is a David Decoteau film, I mean the films you all mention at least have 'stuff' happening. In David Decoteau's later films (The 1313 series)  he'll put in long transitional effects such as a waterfall to take up some of the 90mins that he desperately needs to fill. He uses the EXACT SAME shots across MULTIPLE films. In some of his films you'll have someone walking around a house (the same house used in 10 or so of his other films) for like 20 minutes to suspenseful music.

 

Thats great and everything, but I haven't seen it. 

The questions wasn't "whats the worst film ever made". 

 

The ones listed are the worst films I have ever seen.

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35 minutes ago, APM said:

Pumaman.

 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081693/

 

I thought this was awful as a kid, and I even had time for Condorman.

 

At the cinema, as an adult, Spawn. So, so bad.

 

Spawn was indeed awful, one of the rare occasions I burst out laughing in a cinema at how bad it was right from the getgo (that opening infodump, good lord).

 

Worst film I've seen was a seedy druggy drama with Mickey Rourke playing a meth cook. He was actually fine but the way it was filmed, the direction, the other characters, the visual 'quirks' all annoyed the absolute living fuck out of me in a way no other film managed before or after. I could sit through any number of rubbish films again a few more times and survive but if I ever had to sit through that fuck awful annoying shite again, I'd probably end up killing something. It was intensely, offensively boring and irritating with it and left me hoping the director and editor were dragged to the nearest medieval torture chamber for a long 'workout'.

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He's Just Not That Into You

 

Its shit, but it's also utterly horrible. Awful writing, intensely unlikeable people doing intensely unlikeable things.

 

I couldn't abide it.

 

Devil's Mistress is also fucking rubbish.

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25 minutes ago, projectarnold said:

Someone already said it but definitely Sex and The City 2. It's an objectively terrible piece of cinema, of course, but its also spritiually hateful in a way that I'm not sure I can describe. There's something both malevolent and, at once, oblivious about it. It's the film version of a weird kid whose nose always runs taking a cat out into the woods and dousing it in lighter fluid; proud, ignorant, selfish and cruel. I dislike it so intensely it actually makes my skin crawl.

 

Worth checking out the podcast "The Worst Idea Of All Time" where in the second series two comedians watch that film once a week for a year and report back.

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The Counsellor is a pretty strong candidate for genuinely worst movie I’ve seen if my earlier wasn’t adequate, given I don’t go out of my way to watch bad films

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2 hours ago, dumpster said:

 

For me, Man of Steel is the worst cinema experience I ever had. Superman has always had the one major flaw that he's invincible apart from when he is exposed to Kryptonite so there's no straightforward way to add new storylines to the character.  Superman 1 was a superhero movie, 2 would have been an endless battle with no winners if Superman hadn't relinquished his power, 3 was just a silly Richard Pryor comedy with a big computer, 4 was shit. In Man Of Steel they seemed to have given up on finding ideas because there's nothing more you can do when your protagonist is invincible, so they went the Transformers route and made a movie which begins with an overly long (hour or so) premise, followed by 6 hours of invincible characters punching each other with no effect other than to make everything around them explode.  It just goes on and on, more fighting, more explosions and you know Superman's going to win, and none of that opening hour really mattered anyway so why should anyone have any interest in taking time from their day to pay to go and see this?  An absolute crock of shit, and further evidence that Superman is a very limited premise. You either have to take away his power or expose him to Kryptonite because if you don't then he's invincible and there's no threat or peril. 

 

The worst part about the hour of Russell Crowd at the beginning is that they make you watch it three times. Actually I feel like a few of Snyder's movies do that, where he assumes the audience are as stupid and lazy as him so repeats obvious plots points later.

 

1 hour ago, kerraig UK said:

The Day After Tomorrow has to be up there. A new Ice Age is upon us and the biggest threat the film makers could come up with were 2 wolves. Jake Gylenhal also has to outrun wind. 

 

In a similar vein to Donny Darko trying to outrun cold, I'd nominate that M Night Shamalan movie where Mark Whalberg listens to the wind 

 

37 minutes ago, projectarnold said:

Someone already said it but definitely Sex and The City 2. It's an objectively terrible piece of cinema, of course, but its also spritiually hateful in a way that I'm not sure I can describe. There's something both malevolent and, at once, oblivious about it. It's the film version of a weird kid whose nose always runs taking a cat out into the woods and dousing it in lighter fluid; proud, ignorant, selfish and cruel. I dislike it so intensely it actually makes my skin crawl.

 

Yeah that film is absolutely repulsive.

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I think what we think are the worst films ever seen also depends on multiple factors personal to us. I remember trying to watch 2001: A Space Oddessy when I was 7 and predictably, hating it. Multiple re-watches over the years have turned that opinion around. Suck it, 7 year old me!

 

I have a few friends who loathe Only Lovers Left Alive and, I think they'd put it here if they posted on this forum. I get it. Every character in that film is an annoying arsehole, but for some reason I really quite like it. That said, I wouldn't ever watch The Fountain again, which is cursed with similarly pretentious arseholes from what I recall.

 

Actually, The Fountain might be worse than Tears of the Sun.

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This might be a controversial pick as I know it’s pretty well thought of by some, but ‘American Hustle’ is definitely up there for me.

 

I was bored to tears and there wasn’t a single likeable character. I’m sure sure they weren’t supposed to be likeable, but I really struggled to get through it.

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1 minute ago, Mystacon said:

This might be a controversial pick as I know it’s pretty well thought of by some, but ‘American Hustle’ is definitely up there for me.

 

I was bored to tears and there wasn’t a single likeable character. I’m sure sure they weren’t supposed to be likeable, but I really struggled to get through it.

 

Yeah I remember it being so meandering and aimless. I genuinely thought it was about to end and then checked the timer and it was half way through. So boring.

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3 hours ago, DirkCrisis said:

I tried to make the same argument 10 years ago and ISTR that Kerraig argued that with the likes of Inception or Phantom Menace, the talent attached and the money and resources available to them, they should have done better and werre therefore worthy of "the worst film I've ever seen" title. And I totally get that.

 

Quoting myself from that thread

 

Quote

Or when I allow myself get caught up in the hype surrounding a film like 300, which is the worst film I’ve ever seen at the cinema.

 

I stand over that. And if anything 300 has gotten worse over the years.

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