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Floshenbarnical

What’s the worst film you have ever seen?

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There are a lot of shit films out there, to be sure. Many of them are so bad they’re good, like The Room, and some have redeeming qualities like a single actor or a great action sequence. It’s pretty rare, I think, to watch a film that is irredeemably poor. Until an hour ago, if you’d asked me what the worst movie I’d ever seen was, I might have thought for a while and and come up with a maybe answer.

 

As of now, the worst film I have ever seen is Robin Hood (2018). The writing, the acting, the dialogue, the sets, the action, the cinematography, the characters, the style, the squandering of at least halfway-decent talent, the wardrobe. Utterly, utterly shit. I spent most of the two hours in physical pain - I’m not exaggerating - and watched the comic-book-style end credits mystified as to how the film ever got made. There must have been some serious sunk-cost fallacy at work. It’s an embarrassment, a travesty, and a disgrace, composed entirely of tired tropes and cliches. 

 

So yeah what’s the worst film you ever seen 

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It has become an almost cliche response but every single one of the disjointed messes that comprise the Star Wars prequels are my "worst films". They should have been great - George Lucas creating new STAR WARS CONTENT , the quality of the cast, CG being the new in-thing etc. The scales were heavily laden toward the final results being at the very least passably watchable yet instead they were insufferable turds, every one.

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This is 40. Judd Apatow's vehicle to get his family into a movie . A pretty decent comedic cast if you look at it but it's such a shrieking shitfest with Rudd and Mann playing two of the most unlikable characters of their careers. It's got the usual toilet humor , literally, of these movies  and foists two boring, self centered fuckwits  on us for the guts of 2 hours as they deal with the  horror of turning  40 in upper middle class America.

 

Haven't seen anything he's produced since then and that was 7 years ago. He's distraught obviously...

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Domino (a Tony Scott film starring Keira Knightley). To me it just seemed like it wanted to be a Tarantino movie where every character just is as cool as fuck, but failed miserably at capturing the vibe because every character was clearly trying desperately hard to be cool as fuck with every single line and movement, and so coming across as deeply uncool as a result.

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4 hours ago, Floshenbarnical said:

There are a lot of shit films out there, to be sure. Many of them are so bad they’re good, like The Room, and some have redeeming qualities like a single actor or a great action sequence. It’s pretty rare, I think, to watch a film that is irredeemably poor. Until an hour ago, if you’d asked me what the worst movie I’d ever seen was, I might have thought for a while and and come up with a maybe answer.

 

As of now, the worst film I have ever seen is Robin Hood (2018). The writing, the acting, the dialogue, the sets, the action, the cinematography, the characters, the style, the squandering of at least halfway-decent talent, the wardrobe. Utterly, utterly shit. I spent most of the two hours in physical pain - I’m not exaggerating - and watched the comic-book-style end credits mystified as to how the film ever got made. There must have been some serious sunk-cost fallacy at work. It’s an embarrassment, a travesty, and a disgrace, composed entirely of tired tropes and cliches. 

 

So yeah what’s the worst film you ever seen 

 

What was that movie we watched once where the fighter jet flew close to a building, ripping off the tiles from the roof in an overdramatic fashion, then flew even closer to water at the same speed and didn't even create a ripple? That is up there.

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Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes. 

 

Myself and the missus went to see it at Leicester Square Empire during a trip to London. Probably not too exciting for those of you who live in London or nearby, but to us from up North it was a bit of a treat going to see something at one of the cinemas where all the premieres are held. 

 

Not sure if it’s the film or I was just in a funny mood (I certainly don’t think I was and I’ve got no wish to revisit it to find out for sure) but I absolutely despised it from beginning to end. I couldn’t even tell you now why I disliked it so intensely but it was the longest and most agonising 2 hours of my life. 

 

The cinema itself was lovely though. 

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Inception. It gave me an irrational hatred of JGL for years before I realised I do like him after all. I love Tom Hardy in almost anything but it took second watch before I realised he was in it. It’s smug, too long, it doesn’t work (locations are so disjointed it’s like an episode of Blake’s 7 where an ‘allen planet’ is just any location outside of London), it (to quote a far better movie) “sounds like a fucking headache”, the ending is not at all as ambiguous as everyone makes it sound, and of course it’s got Leo, being utterly shit as always. With the adulation afforded it I just find myself thinking I’m a different species. I might otherwise have chosen The Wolf of Wall Street but didn’t think it fair to pick one I couldn’t even finish.

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I've seen many a shit film but thought I'd pick the worst film I've seen in the cinema in order to narrow it down. 

 

Batman v Superman. 

 

So painfully awful I apologised to my friend for dragging him along to that shitshow. I remember thinking to myself it must surely be over soon only to then realise from the trailer that Doomsday still hadn't made an appearance. 

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In the cinema, Indecent Proposal, the Woody Harrelson / Demi Moore / Robert Redford ‘erotic’ ‘drama’.

 

Or Guardians of the Galaxy, it’s hard to choose.

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6 minutes ago, ZOK said:

Or Guardians of the Galaxy, it’s hard to choose.

thatsbait.gif

 

For me, in the cinema it's Smokin' Aces. On the whole it's Van Helsing. 

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Prometheus. It's like someone took planet earth, then edited the architect scene from the matrix into it over and over again.

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6 minutes ago, Broker said:

Prometheus. It's like someone took planet earth, then edited the architect scene from the matrix into it over and over again.

It's so easy to forget it exists. I can't comprehend how after the pleasure of seeing continuity in Blade Runner 2049 the same guy was content to have such jarring imagery in a 'prequel'. It was confusing as hell constantly checking myself watching it to make sure I had the timeline right. Plus it's just flat out rubbish, aside from the woman slipping in blood and shooting the ceiling, involuntary howl of laughter in cinema at that

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1 minute ago, Stigweard said:

 

Obviously it's all subjective of course but I genuinely can't understand how anyone can objectively say Inception is the worst movie they're ever seen, especially for someone who sees as much films as you have linkster. Hate the film, fine, but the worst you've seen in 30 or so years?

 

I knew in posting it would probably get comments like this, I understand why it doesn't work for some people. Thing is I don't honestly see the point in crucifying a really badly made low budget movie, or indeed watching one - I cannot conceive why anyone would even watch The Room for novelty value, and yet lots of people do. I get no enjoyment from bad movies - a bad movie to me is just that, irrespective of what it cost or who made it. A bad movie is how it made me feel. The fact that people will praise the technical merits of something that is IMO less than sum of its parts is precisely why I'd choose it.

 

Just my tuppence tho.

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Boxing Helena (what an ending!)

Sommersby (a yawnfest of indeterminable length)

Superman Returns (superman picks up a series of objects that increase in size as the movie progresses, in shades of beige)

An American Werewolf in Paris (just why!?!)

Exit to Eden (not as filthy as nothing like the book)

 

I'll add more as I remember them.

Edited by SeanR

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I'd agree with Stigweard that generally if you're saying things like Batman vs Superman or Inception then perhaps you have led a charmed life and simply havent seen any straight to cable/straight to video garbage. Any that's fine if you carefully curate what you watch.

 

I tried to make the same argument 10 years ago and ISTR that Kerraig argued that with the likes of Inception or Phantom Menace, the talent attached and the money and resources available to them, they should have done better and werre therefore worthy of "the worst film I've ever seen" title. And I totally get that.

 

As to the worst film I've ever seen, I think it changes as the years go by. I don't mind amateurish and I don't mind terrible acting as long as it is entertaining or thought-provoking. And, for me, if a film isn't either of those things, then it has failed to justify it's existence.

 

Which is why I would, at the moment at least, nominate "Tears of the Sun" as the worst film I've ever seen, but that it obviously subject to change due to my fading memory.

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1 hour ago, Stigweard said:

See this is often a funny question. When I see this question being ask, I often see people throw out big budget/blockbuster film. Case in point, some films mentioned in this thread already.

 

Obviously it's all subjective of course but I genuinely can't understand how anyone can objectively say Inception is the worst movie they're ever seen, especially for someone who sees as much films as you have linkster. Hate the film, fine, but the worst you've seen in 30 or so years?

 

Same with the SW prequels, BvSM, Sherlock Holmes etc.

 

Sure, you may not like them and even  hate them, but the WORST movie you've ever seen? I just don't see it. If these are the worst some of you have seen I envy you. I think there's a big gap between a movie you hated and a movie thats the worst you've ever seen.

 

According to letterboxd I've seen 1660 films (I'm sure there's more too that I can't remember) and out of those I've ranked 203 1/5 stars. Again, this is all subjective because there's films in there that other people have absolutely loved but I hated, but in the same instance I wouldn't class them as the worst films I've ever seen. I gave them 1/5 stars because I didn't get on with them and I didn't enjoy them, but when I think of the worst films I've seen, the truly terrible, abomination to cinema films, I think of films like these.

 

Spice World: The Movie

F.A.R.T: The Movie

Mr Nanny

Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo

Men in White

Date Movie

Good Burger

Blair Witch Project 2

Dennis the Menace

 

Now those are horrendous films and there's even more on my list. Most of these I saw when i was younger, but the point still stands.

 

I would say that a lot of the lower budget, straight to DVD type films I've seen are generic and predictable, which makes them boring. But often those films are also extremely safe, trying to offend nobody so having no real ideas. That's a kind of bad, but it's a less offensive one than somebody taking Star Wars, or Batman, or Alien, a great story that already exists, casting great people in it and then managing to make movies that aren't just boring, they're stupid and confusing. Batman v Superman is an endless sequence of beautifully shot images, composed amazingly. It features amazing actors, beautifully lit, saying things that make literally no sense. The entire movie is an ego project, allowing Snyder to make cool shots for his trailers and literally answer back at the critics of his previous movies in a way that's totally tone deaf and doesn't tell any kind of story. And it features some of the most popular characters of all time. There's no awareness of the reasons people like those characters. I'm easily writing a paragraph about all the things wrong with it. The majority of movies that your definition would consider to be worse I just don't remember at all. 

 

2 minutes ago, DirkCrisis said:

I tried to make the same argument 10 years ago and ISTR that Kerraig argued that with the likes of Inception or Phantom Menace, the talent attached and the money and resources available to them, they should have done better and werre therefore worthy of "the worst film I've ever seen" title. And I totally get that.

 

Yeah this is how I feel. Movies are not created equal. I do not have the same expectations going into the new Ridley Scott movie as I do watching a movie about Cuba Gooding Jr training dogs. I can't objectively compare them without considering that.

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9 minutes ago, DirkCrisis said:

 

 

I tried to make the same argument 10 years ago and ISTR that Kerraig argued that with the likes of Inception or Phantom Menace, the talent attached and the money and resources available to them, they should have done better and werre therefore worthy of "the worst film I've ever seen" title. And I totally get that.

 

 

Great thread. I’d forgotten about The Cottage *shudder*

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Watched a lot of tat in the 80s but two that stick out are Nightmare on Alcatraz (rented because we thought it had nudity - it didn't) and Edge of Hell, about a rock band who go to a deserted woodland studio to record a new album and get taken over or attacked by the devil, until it's revealed that the lead singer is actually an angel. 

 

More recently, I thought Game Over, Man was utterly awful and Nothing But Trouble was an indecent waste of talent, with a stomach churning turn from Dan Aykroyd. A truly awful movie.

 

 

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There are a tonne of terrible films out there, some that are so bad they are great (Samurai Cop), some that are so bad they become fascinating (Troll 2, the making of doc 'Best Worst Movie' is really great) but most bad movies are just bad and don't have any redeeming qualities and aren't worth discussing. For a movie to be so bad it's worth discussing but not watching, it has to be something that had potential, maybe a new film in a franchise, a good cast or something.  Star Wars prequels spring to mind.

 

For me, Man of Steel is the worst cinema experience I ever had. Superman has always had the one major flaw that he's invincible apart from when he is exposed to Kryptonite so there's no straightforward way to add new storylines to the character.  Superman 1 was a superhero movie, 2 would have been an endless battle with no winners if Superman hadn't relinquished his power, 3 was just a silly Richard Pryor comedy with a big computer, 4 was shit. In Man Of Steel they seemed to have given up on finding ideas because there's nothing more you can do when your protagonist is invincible, so they went the Transformers route and made a movie which begins with an overly long (hour or so) premise, followed by 6 hours of invincible characters punching each other with no effect other than to make everything around them explode.  It just goes on and on, more fighting, more explosions and you know Superman's going to win, and none of that opening hour really mattered anyway so why should anyone have any interest in taking time from their day to pay to go and see this?  An absolute crock of shit, and further evidence that Superman is a very limited premise. You either have to take away his power or expose him to Kryptonite because if you don't then he's invincible and there's no threat or peril. 

 

Man Of Steel marked the beginning of the current apathy I have to cinema. I go a couple of times a year, but find the majority of big budget blockbusters tedious these days, and prefer exploring unusual quirky films via Netflix etc.

 

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In recent memory BvS in the cinema (and the chum who'd driven nearly 2 hours to come visit me for the day) and Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom at home.

 

The worst part of the second is I was watching it at Christmas with mum, who was perfectly happy, so couldn't even turn it off.

 

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Fuck me, you guys need to lower the Bar. Some of those films aren't great but if BvS or prometheus is genuinely the worst film you have ever are have seen, then you aren't doing too bad.

 

I can recommend:

 

SS Doomtrooper

976-Evil
Deathstalker

Sex and the City 2

Black Panther

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