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Floshenbarnical

What’s the worst film you have ever seen?

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There are two films that always standout.

 

The first is the Avengers film with Ralph Fiennes in...the one based on the tv series. It’s one of the most appalling things I’ve ever seen, and I swear I could see the look of absolute pain and suffering in poor old Sean Connery’s eyes when he pranced around in a teddy bear costume.

 

The second one is Kevin Costner’s Postman. I never read the book, but if it was anything remotely like this utterly awful piece of shite, then the author should have been taken out the back and shot for making such an poorly structured story. It remains the only movie I’ve ever walked out of in disgust.

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1 hour ago, Waggo said:

Jaws The Revenge is atrocious, with not a single redeeming quality to it.

'MICHAEL CAINE, who is an Oscar winner once said of his role in Jaws: The Revenge (1987) that "I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.”'

 

Speaking of Michael Caine, Bullseye is my go-to for worst film I've seen but I've just watched the trailer and it looks amazing.

 

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I think I recall Dick Tracey being completely unwatchable in the cinema - maybe it’s not that bad but I’ll never try again to find out. 

 

But what was shite was SimOne with Al Pachino.  Absolute toilet beginning to end. 

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1 hour ago, JoeK said:

There are two films that always standout.

 

The first is the Avengers film with Ralph Fiennes in...the one based on the tv series. It’s one of the most appalling things I’ve ever seen, and I swear I could see the look of absolute pain and suffering in poor old Sean Connery’s eyes when he pranced around in a teddy bear costume.

 

 

Was a superb feature in Empire last year about how the original concept was quite daring but the studio got cold feet and just butchered it in editing 

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If there's one thing we can conclude from this thread it's that people on this forum really hate bad Superman films, even the person with a Superman avatar. I count three nominated in this thread so far - and somehow none of them were Supergirl or Superman IV.

 

This bit though, about the problems with his films being inherent limitations of the character...

 

9 hours ago, dumpster said:

Superman has always had the one major flaw that he's invincible apart from when he is exposed to Kryptonite so there's no straightforward way to add new storylines to the character.  [...] An absolute crock of shit, and further evidence that Superman is a very limited premise. You either have to take away his power or expose him to Kryptonite because if you don't then he's invincible and there's no threat or peril. 

 

...I disagree. Well, except if you want to make a game about him. :P

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Oh God. Meet The Feebles. 

 

You can watch it here in full in 720p (don't)

 

 

 

It's absolutely rubbish. It's allegedly a Muppet Show parody - it's just gross and offensive and isn't remotely amusing. How anyone that made this also made the LOTR trilogy, The Frighteners and Braindead, I'll never know. It's awful.

 

Luckily, I never saw this at the cinema.

 

Worst cinema experience has to be the live action Flintstones movie - what a load of old shit that was. 

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5 hours ago, Gizamaluke said:

I can't abide pretentious movies that think they are more profound than they are, so The Tree of Life, The Fountain and Mother! would be my choices.

 

Absolute tripe. Like the movie equivalents of watching the stoned 1am rant of a student who fancies himself as an intellectual.

 

Genuinely three of my favourite movies. The Fountain is in my top ten :lol:

 

The Room cost a thousand times more to make than Primer.

 

The argument for expectation versus flat-out incompetence always comes up with this topic. While I've been severely burned by stuff like the Star Wars prequels I just can't lump them in with the worst garbage I've ever watched. Of 3918 movies I've logged on Letterboxd I've only given 105 1-star ratings, so I'm pretty forgiving. Even then there are 1-star movies that I've kind of enjoyed while recognising that there's absolutely nothing good about them (Cliff Twemlow's magnum opus GBH springs to mind, or R.O.T.O.R, which had me crying with laughter at one point). Usually for me the worst crime a movie can commit is to be boring throughout, but there are some that just made me rage at their existence. I guess I'm going to go with two films that made me physically angry to watch:

 

X-Ray aka Hospital Massacre

Beasts of the Southern Wild

 

Push comes to shove... I think it's X-Ray. A film I hated so much I bought the blu-ray for the commentary, because I wanted someone to explain to me what value they thought the movie had.

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The worst film I remember paying to see at the cinema was Interview With The Vampire. I can't remember much about it now other than wanting to leave for the last five hours (that what it felt like, at least). Doesn't seem to review that badly - but it's etched into my memory as tedious as hell. To be fair - it wouldn't have been my choice of film, so I probably tagged along with friends, and then felt obliged to sit through it to the end. I couldn't give a toss about vampires, but you expect them to at least be half-way interesting. I remember being bored witless.

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2 hours ago, linkster said:

Was a superb feature in Empire last year about how the original concept was quite daring but the studio got cold feet and just butchered it in editing 

 

Is Zack Snyder writing for Empire now?

 

Anyway, I find that hard to believe. Having watched the first half hour the dialogue between Fiennes and Thurman is so horrible I couldn’t go on. They didn’t butcher it enough. 

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My least favourite movie ever is probably The Sound of Music. I hate everything about it. Even catching five seconds of it when flicking through channels is enough to put me in a foul mood.

 

I really don't know why. There are thousands of movies that are objectively worse. I can't even say much bad about it. The acting's fine, the singing is fine, the songs are classics... And yet I would cheerfully destroy the world if I could, just to ensure I never had to accidentally catch another glimpse of it ever again.

 

If you gave me a choice of watching it once, or having to watch Prometheus - a film which I found offensive in how much contempt it had for its audience in expecting them to suspend disbelief for a single second of that tripe - every single day for the rest of my life, I'd choose Prometheus in a heartbeat.

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6 minutes ago, Naieve said:

I quite liked the Postman. It's better than Waterworld

 

the postman could be a good film with judicious editing. But it means removing the bad guy.

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1 hour ago, MarkN said:

The worst film I remember paying to see at the cinema was Interview With The Vampire. I can't remember much about it now other than wanting to leave for the last five hours (that what it felt like, at least). Doesn't seem to review that badly - but it's etched into my memory as tedious as hell. To be fair - it wouldn't have been my choice of film, so I probably tagged along with friends, and then felt obliged to sit through it to the end. I couldn't give a toss about vampires, but you expect them to at least be half-way interesting. I remember being bored witless.

 

best thing about that was Roger Lloyd Pack as the piano teacher. But only because someone in the audience shouted "It's TRIGGER!" and the place erupted.

 

take your Anne Rice and watch Exit to Eden...

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Gulliver's Travels (2010). Probably the greatest sustained work of satire in the English language becomes a rancid Jack Black comedy vehicle.

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48 minutes ago, Naieve said:

I quite liked the Postman. It's better than Waterworld

I didn't think Waterworld was so bad. It's certainly no worse than Mad Max (and hardly anyone thinks that's bad), plus the production values & set design is frankly outstanding

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2 hours ago, Nick R said:

If there's one thing we can conclude from this thread it's that people on this forum really hate bad Superman films, even the person with a Superman avatar. I count three nominated in this thread so far - and somehow none of them were Supergirl or Superman IV.

 

This bit though, about the problems with his films being inherent limitations of the character...

 

 

...I disagree. Well, except if you want to make a game about him. :P

 

Yeah, Superman IV is a truly terrible movie. There are some interesting behind the scenes stories, like how Cannon (yes, that Cannon of your favourite 80s low budget schlock films ) bought the rights and somehow were paid something like $40m from Warner Bros (who were distributing) to make it. Except the decided $27m of that was better spent on other films and Superman IV only got around $13m (the first Superman had a budget of $50m nearly 10 years earlier). It also had more effects than the first three films combined. 

 

Meaning its got some hilariously bad scenes in it - especially if you get to watch the HD version where you can see just how low budget it was. Superman fights Nuclear Man at the Great Wall of China and you can literally see it wobble. They fight on the moon and you can see it’s black curtains they’ve got in the background.  Milton Keynes, with some strategically placed fire hydrants and yellow school buses is supposed to look like New York and the UN headquarters. It doesn’t. It looks like Milton Keynes.

 

Id have to say that Superman IV has to be one of the worst films ever made because it’s got a great cast (even Gene Hackman returns), a great pedigree so it should be good, but is absolutely terrible due to budget limitations and to be frank a truly horrendous storyline. It’s also worth a laugh if you’re having some beers.

 

Kids don’t know how lucky they are if they think Batman v Superman is at the same level as Superman IV.

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I feel a lot of the film's in here aren't the worst films people have ever seen.  At least they have decent production values and most hade some attempt at delivering a visual experience.

 

Mine would be going overboard with Adam Sandler.  It's not funny, they can't act and it has no idea what it's doing.  It's like a 12 year olds film with the budget of the 12 year olds birthday party and I have plenty of time for Adam Sandler.

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I'm not sure whether it was the worst film I've ever seen.  But it was the worst cinema experience in terms of expectations-

 

Matrix - revolutions (or whatever the second one was called)

 

I came out of that so bitter and resentful.

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The only film I have ever seriously contemplated leaving the cinema during the showing is step brothers.  I like both the leads but this was garbage.  I even tried to give it a second shot years later but my first impression of it was correct as it is just plain turgid. 

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8 hours ago, Floshenbarnical said:

 

A thousand times this. I have a passionate hatred of Missing White Woman fiction for various reasons and Gone Girl, Girl on the Train, A Simple Favour etc are some of the worst offenders. My girlfriend can’t get enough of it. Every book she reads is about some woman who goes missing or is murdered, who may or may not actually be dead, who may or may not be missing of her own accord, with some sort of “plot twist” near the end. Derivative, tone-deaf, hackneyed, predictable crap. 

Gone Girl is a decent film, surprised you’d even bracket some of those movies together. I’m also going to have to defend Girl on the Train, not as a movie as it was insufferable but the book really hooked me, the mystery was maybe obligatory but the sad middle class alcoholic white girl fucking everything up was all too familiar, and a million miles from bridget jones. Course having told Amazon I enjoyed it I get recommended all manner of shite but I thought it was surprisingly good.

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46 minutes ago, gone fishin' said:

Milton Keynes, with some strategically placed fire hydrants and yellow school buses is supposed to look like New York and the UN headquarters. It doesn’t. It looks like Milton Keynes.

 

Here's a then/now comparison of some of the filming locations, as of a few years ago:

 

https://www.denofgeek.com/movies/superman-iv/33015/a-pilgrimage-to-the-filming-locations-of-superman-iv

 

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The thing about truly bad films (and not so-bad-they’re-good films e.g.Neil Breen stuff), is that I don’t watch them.

 

I can’t remember the last time I sat through something that was total shite (maybe some bollocks on Prime I had on in the background and wasn’t paying attention to). I could make a list of the the most disappointing films (Prometheus and the Star Wars prequels) but I don’t watch truly shit films.

 

One thing I’ve been wondering. When you scroll down through the seemingly endless lists of films when you sort by genre on Amazon Prime, and you eventually reach the dregs of the dregs, really bizarre nonsense; where does it all come from, and how does Amazon acquire it? I’m assuming it’s just so Amazon can make a boast about the amount of content they offer.

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On 11/03/2019 at 13:04, Silent Runner said:

 

Quoting myself from that thread

 

 

I stand over that. And if anything 300 has gotten worse over the years.

 

Yes, 300 is parp.

 

That’s a great thread, nice to see biglime nailing Heat fairly and squarely, too:

 

On 03/04/2009 at 20:48, biglime said:

It isn't. It had one scene with some good shooting in it, and two hours of DeNiro on cruise control and Pacino's eyes popping out of his wisened head as he screamed all the lines as quickly as possible before he forgot them. Truly Pacino's worst performance on film. Worse even than Devil's Advocate, which is also a stone-cold turkey.

And that ending. MAN! Pacino and DeNiro aren't their characters anymore. They're just themselves, doing that handshake to please the morons in the crowd, two actors past their best enduring one of the most cheesy endings in history to get some cheap pop from the Paniro nerds.

And in the background, while those two greasy Hollywood hands grip each other, and we start to fade to black... In the background you can see a dying cyborg's thumb descending into the floor.

 

^_^

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