Jump to content
Floshenbarnical

What’s the worst film you have ever seen?

Recommended Posts

That I paid good money for?

 

Christopher Nolan's snorefest English-language adaption Insomnia, did the opposite of what it says on the tin, easily his worst film by a country mile. I might have to watch the original version at some point to see if it's a source material problem or just him having a bad day (or maybe I might even agree with the consensus verdict on it now).

 

The worst films are the ones which utterly fail to entertain and have piss poor production values on top, some low budget horror films fall into this camp, there was one I saw bits of a while ago that was just amateur hour in terms of directing and story, but I suppose people are more forgiving of people with no money to make the film.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, kerraig UK said:

Dogma. 2 hours of people talking about God and a shit monster. No thanks.

Clerks is an all time favourite of mine, but in my late teens I was a huge fan of Kevin Smith and the whole Jay and Silent Bob thing.  I watched Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Jay and SB Strike Back and Red State recently and couldn't see what I ever liked about them.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've seen more films than I can remember (trying to list them all, it's a nightmare), but these would always come to mind:

 

John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars. Awful, but yet despite that whenever it's on TV I can't help but watch it. Moreish, but not in a "so bad it's good" way because it's not. 

 

Headgame. Some nonsensical rubbish on Netflix, no idea why I bothered to even start watching because it's one of those cheap horror films you know will be crap. And it is.

 

The Lovely Bones. An insult to film, I'd rather set myself on fire than watch this again. Plodding, twee and unpleasant all in one tonally all-over-the-shop package. The winner.

 

Surprised no-one's mentioned The Wicker Man remake. Mind you, I haven't either really have I. Maybe that one was worth it for the memes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Technically I guess the worst films I've seen are Hercules in New York, Going Overboard and the American Ninja films. But even though they were all a bit rubbish I still got some enjoyment out of them. 

 

For straight up worst film it'll probably be The Wedding Planner starring Jennifer Lopez. Even as someone that doesn't mind shitey rom-coms that was just awful. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, dumpster said:

Clerks is an all time favourite of mine, but in my late teens I was a huge fan of Kevin Smith and the whole Jay and Silent Bob thing.  I watched Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Jay and SB Strike Back and Red State recently and couldn't see what I ever liked about them.

 

Clerks is still wonderful, but he's a dreadful film maker.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Haribokart said:

 

What was that movie we watched once where the fighter jet flew close to a building, ripping off the tiles from the roof in an overdramatic fashion, then flew even closer to water at the same speed and didn't even create a ripple? That is up there.

 

Stealth, feat. bowls of apples.

”He’s downloading the internet? How much has he downloaded?”

”All of it.”

 

5 hours ago, Gambit said:

I've seen many a shit film but thought I'd pick the worst film I've seen in the cinema in order to narrow it down. 

 

Batman v Superman. 

 

So painfully awful I apologised to my friend for dragging him along to that shitshow. I remember thinking to myself it must surely be over soon only to then realise from the trailer that Doomsday still hadn't made an appearance. 

 

Yes, that was a real heap of dogshit. If you need a story where Batman and Superman have a big fight, why bother concocting one when Miller’s Dark Knight Returns is out there?  None of the motivations for the characters made any sense. I hated the film. HATED IT. The only redeeming sequence was the quite redeeming fight where Batman rescues Superman’s mother, although he does end up immolating a baddie which you would suppose violates his ethics. 

 

2 hours ago, PeteBrant said:

Fuck me, you guys need to lower the Bar. Some of those films aren't great but if BvS or prometheus is genuinely the worst film you have ever are have seen, then you aren't doing too bad.

 

I can recommend:

 

SS Doomtrooper

976-Evil
Deathstalker

Sex and the City 2

Black Panther

 

Why do you hate Black Panther more than BvS? I thought it was crap but redeemed itself somewhat with the what are thooooose thing

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Floshenbarnical said:

 

Why do you hate Black Panther more than BvS? I thought it was crap but redeemed itself somewhat with the what are thooooose thing

I was being slightly tongue in cheek

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't abide pretentious movies that think they are more profound than they are, so The Tree of Life, The Fountain and Mother! would be my choices.

 

Absolute tripe. Like the movie equivalents of watching the stoned 1am rant of a student who fancies himself as an intellectual.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Gizamaluke said:

I can't abide pretentious movies that think they are more profound than they are, so The Tree of Life, The Fountain and Mother! would be my choices.

 

Absolute tripe. Like the movie equivalents of watching the stoned 1am rant of a student who fancies himself as an intellectual.

 

The Fountain is the only one of those I've seen. I liked it, but I think even if you strip away the pseudo-profundity you still have a very pretty film with very nice music.

 

34 minutes ago, stefcha said:

The Lovely Bones. An insult to film, I'd rather set myself on fire than watch this again. Plodding, twee and unpleasant all in one tonally all-over-the-shop package. The winner.

 

This was really disappointing. It came across as just a TV police procedural mystery with an afterlife gimmick.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What’s that Zack Snyder film where it’s about a bunch of girls in an asylum and they imagine going off on war missions to try and break out and it’s basically like it’s been written by a pubescent neck beard? The name has been scrubbed from my mind and I refuse to look it up. All short skirts, big guns and emo music. There’s probably samurai swords as well. 

Dreadful and without any redeeming features. 

 

Edit - ok I looked, Sucker punch. What a festering pile of stuck together tissues that was. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, And said:

What’s that Zack Snyder film where it’s about a bunch of girls in an asylum and they imagine going off on war missions to try and break out and it’s basically like it’s been written by a pubescent neck beard. The name has been scrubbed from my mind and I refuse to look it up. All short skirts, big guns and emo music. There’s probably samurai swords as well. 

Dreadful and without any redeeming features. 

 

They made Rocket: Robot on Wheels

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I seen plenty but the one that sticks out for me recently is Slenderman, with a close second being Truth or Dare. Simply just a stinking fecal matter shat out materialised in film form

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 minutes ago, Nick R said:

 

The Fountain is the only one of those I've seen. I liked it, but I think even if you strip away the pseudo-profundity you still have a very pretty film with very nice music.

 

Visually it was surprisingly cheap looking for a film that people praise for its looks, seemed like it was shot on video or something.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
33 minutes ago, Gizamaluke said:

I can't abide pretentious movies that think they are more profound than they are, so The Tree of Life, The Fountain and Mother! would be my choices.

 

Absolute tripe. Like the movie equivalents of watching the stoned 1am rant of a student who fancies himself as an intellectual.


Out of curiosity, what would you consider to be a profound and intellectual movie?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think for not making me laugh once despite its cast and success, my vote goes to Knocked Up. A miserable experience. Not the worst film I've seen, but the greatest distance between expectation and result.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Capwn said:

This question always results in mainstream films, it really winds me up.

 

That was my point. Even though some that are mentioned are truely shite, they're far from the worst I've seen and I think it would be the case for most people if they really thought about it. I guess if you've seen a shed load of films though it's hard to think of everything. For my sins though, I same to remember a lot of the really really bad films I've seen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, mushashi said:

 

 

The worst films are the ones which utterly fail to entertain and have piss poor production values on top, some low budget horror films fall into this camp, there was one I saw bits of a while ago that was just amateur hour in terms of directing and story, but I suppose people are more forgiving of people with no money to make the film.

 

Indeed. There is a certain degree of relativity to it. If I see something made by nobody with a 20p budget I won’t judge it as harshly as something where a director who’s made good stuff in the past has spent $50m and still turned out a total turd. The later has fallen far further short of the potential the movie had.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
36 minutes ago, Mawdlin said:

In recent memory The Girl on the Train was proper tripe. Managed to be boring and confused.

 

A thousand times this. I have a passionate hatred of Missing White Woman fiction for various reasons and Gone Girl, Girl on the Train, A Simple Favour etc are some of the worst offenders. My girlfriend can’t get enough of it. Every book she reads is about some woman who goes missing or is murdered, who may or may not actually be dead, who may or may not be missing of her own accord, with some sort of “plot twist” near the end. Derivative, tone-deaf, hackneyed, predictable crap. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

From my Letterboxd 1 star ratings

A Wrinkle in Time

Geostorm

Happy Family

The Osiris Child

The Fog

Kangaroo Jack

I Frankenstein

Dungeons & Dragons

Street Fighter - Legend of Chun Li

Far Cry

In the Name of the King - Dungeon Siege

Mortal Kombat Annihilation

Stacks of Bollywood films

 

Basically video game film adaptations & the odd kid film.

 

 

 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. Use of this website is subject to our Privacy Policy, Terms of Use, and Guidelines.