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Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (December 2019)


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Thought this was a load of old nonsense. Some good ideas but not nearly given enough room to breathe, and I found the way it dismissed or ignored ideas from the previous films insulting. It didn't earn any of the conclusions it came to, because many of the plot threads felt like they had barely been introduced. I think I'm just repeating what others have said though, so I'll leave it there.

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3 hours ago, Harsin said:


Did I mention that he was The Emperor's son.

 

As was this guy.

 

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What happened to him you ask? Why he got ganked by a Terminator style droid that looked like Princess Leia of course.

 

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Bonus official picture of him with a Hutt with Thor style hair and beard.

 

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I'd love it if they went full on crazy with a new trilogy with this sort of nonsense. There's so much more going on in those three pictures than anything in the new trilogy. They might all be very, very silly things but at least it's got some fun and variation to it. 

 

A Hutt with a beard. 

 

Wonderfully daft. 

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4 hours ago, Harsin said:


Did I mention that he was The Emperor's son.

 

As was this guy.

 

spacer.png
 

 

What happened to him you ask? Why he got ganked by a Terminator style droid that looked like Princess Leia of course.

 

spacer.png

 

Bonus official picture of him with a Hutt with Thor style hair and beard.

 

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$300-900m thrown at this next time please Disney!

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7 hours ago, kensei said:

 

What was interesting is that they wanted to do ROTS as two movies - which would have worked much better for Disney and for the story as a whole.  Also this...

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“The source of the evil in the galaxy is this dark spirit waiting for its revenge and biding its time. The entity known as Palpatine in this version — his body died in Return of the Jedi— is patient and has been waiting. He dug his fox hole and has been waiting for his chance to re-establish his total domination.”

 

So its not the same body as in TROJ - which I guess is why he looked like Sidious (until he didn't anymore..). Furthermore Rey gives Palps exactly what he wants by killing him, where upon she dies and is reborn...

 

So it could easily be Evil Mofo Rey looking out at that Binary Sunset...if you follow the rules the film has set itself. 

 

Fuck this film is a mess.

 

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16 hours ago, Harsin said:


Did I mention that he was The Emperor's son.

 

As was this guy.

What happened to him you ask? Why he got ganked by a Terminator style droid that looked like Princess Leia of course.

 

spacer.png

 

This is even better considering it appears to be happening at Terminator Leia and Tricolour's Space Wedding, replete with stormtrooper ushers and a floating Space Vicar with no legs

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17 hours ago, Mr Combo Breaker said:

real artists would have gone to a real casino and then CG'd out all the table-legs so it looked like shit was hovering. 

 

I wonder who the baddies will be in the next movie. I'm betting it'll either be the Provisional Empire or the Continuity First Order.

 

They haven't gone away, you know.

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I thought it was pretty good, on the whole. 

 

But I have some questions:

 

How come they happened to be standing in the exact spot for the dagger outline to work?

If it’s ancient dagger, how does it have the outline of the wreckage on it anyway?

If Rey can hover, why does she have to make a perilous climb inside the wreckage?

How come Palpatine is still alive after the Death Star blew up, and when did he have children?

Why did the Star Destroyers all fall out of the sky at the end?

 

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I don't know why they needed the dagger at all to be honest. The dagger really is the shittest aspect of the movie. They should have just hooked threepio up to the sith ship's computer and have him gain the co-ordinates to the wayfinder that way. The dagger was wholly unnecessary. 

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I'm convinced the dagger has been added in as reshoots, after principal photography.

 

The only thing I can't reconcile with that theory is what Sith language C3PO got hold of before they added the dagger in. But not too hard to guess it was from Lando, DO or Ocho's ship.

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42 minutes ago, Thor said:

I don't know why they needed the dagger at all to be honest. The dagger really is the shittest aspect of the movie. They should have just hooked threepio up to the sith ship's computer and have him gain the co-ordinates to the wayfinder that way. The dagger was wholly unnecessary. 

 

Especially since they just found it lying around, down a hole that they’d randomly happened to fall into.

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30 minutes ago, drmick said:

I'm convinced the dagger has been added in as reshoots, after principal photography.

 

The only thing I can't reconcile with that theory is what Sith language C3PO got hold of before they added the dagger in. But not too hard to guess it was from Lando, DO or Ocho's ship.


There was a bunch of pre-release stuff showing C3P0 wearing Chewbacca's bandolier and carrying his bowcaster with red eyes. Rumour was the hack they did was going to turn him him into a combat droid for a while. Presumably hit the cutting room floor and may be why that whole, I've lost my memory, no it's ok it’s back thing is a such a wet fart of a plot line in the film.

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37 minutes ago, Harsin said:


There was a bunch of pre-release stuff showing C3P0 wearing Chewbacca's bandolier and carrying his bowcaster with red eyes. Rumour was the hack they did was going to turn him him into a combat droid for a while. Presumably hit the cutting room floor and may be why that whole, I've lost my memory, no it's ok it’s back thing is a such a wet fart of a plot line in the film.


Rambo-3PO would have redeemed that character’s entire arc through all 9 films. Such a missed opportunity. 

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2 hours ago, drmick said:

I'm convinced the dagger has been added in as reshoots, after principal photography.

 

The only thing I can't reconcile with that theory is what Sith language C3PO got hold of before they added the dagger in. But not too hard to guess it was from Lando, DO or Ocho's ship.

They could have done the Sith language bit as an intercepted secret transmission that Rose discovered and...oh wait... That would have meant having Rose in the film more than would have made the whiney weirdos happy.

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9 minutes ago, teddymeow said:

 

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They could have done the Sith language bit as an intercepted secret transmission that Rose discovered and...oh wait... That would have meant having Rose in the film more than would have made the whiney weirdos happy.

 


Unfortunately they signed an exclusive contract with Epic for all Sith transmissions to premiere on their platform.

 

The fact that a major plot point of the film was actually contained in Fortnite is yet more proof that we're living in a horrible dystopian cyberpunk future.

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The fact that the Emperor had started a podcast. Deemed important enough to be the first thing the opening crawl mentions, which we never even hear because it's exclusive to Fortnite (not a joke). You know, instead of having the characters discovering the major revelation that the previously thought dead ultimate evil was still about and watching them react to that discovery organically, much better to put it in a videogame for Sunny Delight addled kids to listen to as they show off their expensive DLC dance moves to each other, and just start the film with everyone kind of shrugging their shoulders because it’s old news.

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22 hours ago, Mr Combo Breaker said:

real artists would have gone to a real casino and then CG'd out all the table-legs so it looked like shit was hovering. 

 

I wonder who the baddies will be in the next movie. I'm betting it'll either be the Provisional Empire or the Continuity First Order.

They could do the Yuuzhan Vong, but I suspect they wont, though it would make for a darker Star Wars series of films I suspect, given the source material. Would also make Palpatine's plan for the Empire make more sense, as it would make it seem like he knew about them, and was planning for it.

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Jenny Nicholson's video is here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wait, that's not the one. Here's the whole thing:

 

 

 

For those who want a tl;dw summary, here are my favourite bits:
 

Spoiler

17:43:

Quote

When Rey is in the desert with her friends, she sees Ochi's ship, and she's like, "I've seen this ship before." That's already a funny sentiment to me in Star Wars. Spaceships are mass-produced, right? I don't sit in traffic and see a blue Honda Civic and go: "I've seen this car before."

 

 

On Finn not spotting which ship Chewbacca is on:

 

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I feel like if you're going to pull this kind of contrived switcheroo, you need to have some kind of scene to set it up ahead of time. Like maybe when our heroes are on Pasaana and there's that festival, they could have a street vendor who's set up a table and he's doing the shell game, and then Finn tries to play it a bunch of times in a row and he just keeps losing, and you're like "Wow, Finn is really bad at object permanence."

 

 

26:51 - She was distracted by the many times Finn calls out to Rey:

 

Quote

In The Rise of Skywalker, he shouts "Rey!" a lot. He always wants to be near Rey. And then, when Rey is nearby, he wants to shout "Rey!" and have her look over at him.

...

By that point he'd done this so many times that I wanted Rey, mid-swordfight, to just yell back: "WHAT, FINN? WHAT?" What's his follow-up going to be? If he gets her attention is he gonna yell, "Look out, Rey; you're in a swordfight"?

 

 

She's right; Finn does shout Rey's name a lot:

 

Spoiler

 

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