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To be honest, I'd probably use the DS4 a lot more if I didn't have a shite Bluetooth connection - the touchpad is hella good for Big Picture/Home Theatre stuff. Same goes for the Wii U Pro, although I keep that tethered to the Pi for retro guff.


At the very least, we can party up and get some Powerful Gear going via Flashpoint/Crucible. Knowing how the day usually goes mind, I'll get this week's crucible stuff done by just being a shitter with Moodmon just after I finish work and before the raid. There's the alt, mind.

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On 15/11/2017 at 12:40, Oz said:

We have thus far in team OG:

@Karde (fireteam lead and in charge of launching the raid - i.e. the hard part)

@Internet Kyle (the ejaculator)

@Moodmon*

@Mau

@Jonzo (official team scribe and historian - very low DPS)

@Oz (Backoffice, scheduling and admin)

The next scheduled raid is on Tuesday 21 November at 815pm (after reset)

 

We also had the following volunteered subs:

@mr_rmg

@Larsen B

@spork

@Siri*

@Strategos 

 

Other people playing on PC that have been here and on discord from time to time are:

@Triple A

@clippa

@Moz 

 

*warning: these players may be using an xbox pad

  Reveal hidden contents

giphy.gif.d8e29d2e1f9b3e06ea74d97b1964c7b5.gif

 

chaps sorry to throw a spanner in the works of team larsen but we have an opening tomorrow from 815 due to internet kyle not being able to make it. I will give the slot to first response to try to achieve some semblance of forum fairness. subs invited: @mr_rmg @Larsen B @spork @Siri and @Strategos please let me know either here on in discord so we can all rest easy. please?

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RETURN TO LEVIATHAN: OUR STRUGGLE BY THE PC RAID CREW

 

The PC raid crew rocked back up the towering golden palace of Leviathan last night, to right their wrongs, and stick their Scathelockes up Calus's big bronze behind. It was a mixed affair. The boys were truly put through their paces in the sequel to last week's adventure. Led once again by the crafty veterans Oz and Karde and accompanied by raid rookie and team chatbot Siri, confidence in orbit was high, and once the boys had exchanged a few anecdotes about erectile dysfunction, we were under way.

 

PROLOGUE

 

Jonzo died before they even got to the entrance, in what was to be a foreshadowing of the nightmare to come. Karde, our guide and sage, was called away to carry out a last minute road rescue mission, and zipped up his RAC high viz jacket, promising to return soon. And so it was, one man down, that the boys failed repeatedly to keep their standards on the portals, wiping over and over again, their morale sapped before they even entered the first challenge.

 

Karde returned and the guardians entered the first door.

 

DIRTY BATHERS

 

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. What was once considered by the boys to be the easiest section of the raid, this time turned out to be a lot more distressing. Our synchonrisation left a lot to be desired, as the team got their arses repeatedly handed to them by the filthy bathers of the bubble baths. Moody had trouble with respawning orbs, and Jonzo, with his characteristically and now maybe notoriously poor DPS, died with alarming regularity. After the boys worked out their issues, put their heads together and swallowed their pride, the lanterns were smashed and it was onwards and upwards.

 

DO YOU LIKE DAGS? NOT REALLY NO

 

I'm glad to report that the dags of doom went down a lot easier this time round. Siri found his feet in this notoriously shitty challenge room easily, only let down by his team, particularly Jonzoo, whose piss poor sense of direction led him to attack his dog instead of his own. Jonzo's DPS also shined here, and not in a good way, more like the shine one might get off a freshly glistening turd bobbing around in the toilet bowl. Oz and Mau put up a stellar performance, leading the team to the most buffs per round they've had in their short raid careers. Not many wipes or serious calamities to speak of here, and once Jonzoo swapped out his peashooter for the unspoken promise sword, the dags went back to their kennels and the boys breathed a sigh of relief.

 

DUNKIRK

 

Back the beaches of Dunkirk then, on this chilly November evening. And again, a bit more of a struggle than last time. Not due to any individual performances – the shooters shot like Clint Eastwood and the runners ran like Forrest Gump – but the end section posed more than a few problems for the boys. Incommunication was our main downfall here in the final phase, as the boys scrambled to keep themselves alive. More time than neccessary was spent bickering about holes, giggling about dog's bottoms, and dealing with an irritating spawn glitch which meant more than a few impromptu returns to orbit.

 

In spite of this, the boys prevailed, but no less than three hours later, meaning the boys will have to wait to get their revenge on Calus. How much longer will the emperor wait? Will some of the team ever learn to play using mouse and keyboard? Will Jonzo ever increase his DPS? Will Siri's first experience raiding with such a bunch of catastrophic wankers put him off for life?

 

Find out the answers this Sunday, 9PM, when the final battle takes place.

 

 

 

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I got my hall pass. How did your negotiations go @Karde?

 

I have decided to write a little something on calus, granted this will all be easier when you see it. 

 

Spoiler

1) Enter a room. 4 pillars surround a fat bastard. Each has blades, dogs, chalice and sun.

2) Shoot the cup in Calus' hand starts the encounter.

3) 3 people on each side left or right clear ads and get ammo.

4) 4 shielded ghost psions appear on each pillar (DO NOT PUNCH THEM)

5) 6 people are teleported

6) 3 people grabs floating orbs which teleports them back to the main room. 

 

Inside Team:

1) One person right, one left and one middle.

2) All get sucked by a giant ghost calus towards his face.

3) A little barrier holds you in place and prevents you from being sucked completely and wiping the team

4) A symbol appears in the calus' face (his forehead). 

5) we shout out the symbols we see in order. the right player, the left player and finally the guardian in the middle.

 

5) Outside: People punch a psion in the pillar you have NOT mentioned.

6) Inside: Once the psion outside is punched a new barrier comes up.

 

7) you either do a single jump (DONT DOUBLE JUMP) and get sucked into the next barrier; or

8) wait for the barrier holding you in place to disappear and you will naturally float forward to the next one.

9) The next barrier will only be there IF the outside psion has been punched in time!

10) Avoid ramps on the floor while getting sucked forward.

11) Some holes will appear on the floor after a few goes. obviously avoid those as well.

12) All enemies which show up should be killed immediately. you really need to be on point on this. they have abilities that will wipe us all. Luckily there aren't that many enemies and they always spawn in the same spots. 

13) when all four psions have been punched (OUTSIDE), and we have been held in place by four barriers, Calus starts throwing up skulls. kill as many of those to increase the damage buff for the damage phase.

14) 3 orbs will appear which we should quickly grab to exit the other dimension.

 

Outside Team:

1) Kills adds and listen to the call outs. when the psions appear punch the one in the pillar that was NOT mentioned. Try to do this as quickly as possible. whatever you do, do not die! each team member outside only has one revive. 

 

DAMAGE phase:

1) The entire team is back outside we all jump on the same platform and get a buff what will improve damage on Calus. shoot him in the head. change weapons. pop barriers. damage rifts. switch between your weapons. chuck area of effect grenades. go fucking mental with damage. be angry. 

2) Eventually an animation will let you know that Calus is about to attack that platform. we all shout and jump to the next one and repeat.

3) when we have jumped and done damage from each of the 4 platforms, the damage phase is over.

 

and we start over. we will do the entire thing 3 or 4 times to kill him.

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43 minutes ago, Oz said:

I got my hall pass. How did your negotiations go @Karde?

 

I have decided to write a little something on calus, granted this will all be easier when you see it. 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

1) Enter a room. 4 pillars surround a fat bastard. Each has blades, dogs, chalice and sun.

2) Shoot the cup in Calus' hand starts the encounter.

3) 3 people on each side left or right clear ads and get ammo.

4) 4 shielded ghost psions appear on each pillar (DO NOT PUNCH THEM)

5) 6 people are teleported

6) 3 people grabs floating orbs which teleports them back to the main room. 

 

Inside Team:

1) One person right, one left and one middle.

2) All get sucked by a giant ghost calus towards his face.

3) A little barrier holds you in place and prevents you from being sucked completely and wiping the team

4) A symbol appears in the calus' face (his forehead). 

5) we shout out the symbols we see in order. the right player, the left player and finally the guardian in the middle.

 

5) Outside: People punch a psion in the pillar you have NOT mentioned.

6) Inside: Once the psion outside is punched a new barrier comes up.

 

7) you either do a single jump (DONT DOUBLE JUMP) and get sucked into the next barrier; or

8) wait for the barrier holding you in place to disappear and you will naturally float forward to the next one.

9) The next barrier will only be there IF the outside psion has been punched in time!

10) Avoid ramps on the floor while getting sucked forward.

11) Some holes will appear on the floor after a few goes. obviously avoid those as well.

12) All enemies which show up should be killed immediately. you really need to be on point on this. they have abilities that will wipe us all. Luckily there aren't that many enemies and they always spawn in the same spots. 

13) when all four psions have been punched (OUTSIDE), and we have been held in place by four barriers, Calus starts throwing up skulls. kill as many of those to increase the damage buff for the damage phase.

14) 3 orbs will appear which we should quickly grab to exit the other dimension.

 

Outside Team:

1) Kills adds and listen to the call outs. when the psions appear punch the one in the pillar that was NOT mentioned. Try to do this as quickly as possible. whatever you do, do not die! each team member outside only has one revive. 

 

DAMAGE phase:

1) The entire team is back outside we all jump on the same platform and get a buff what will improve damage on Calus. shoot him in the head. change weapons. pop barriers. damage rifts. switch between your weapons. chuck area of effect grenades. go fucking mental with damage. be angry. 

2) Eventually an animation will let you know that Calus is about to attack that platform. we all shout and jump to the next one and repeat.

3) when we have jumped and done damage from each of the 4 platforms, the damage phase is over.

 

and we start over. we will do the entire thing 3 or 4 times to kill him.

 

giphy.gif

 

 

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SO WE GET THE CLAP, HE SUCKS US OFF AND THEN WE WIPE? (CALUS' CHRISTMAS QUALITY STREET CARNAGE)

 

We did it. We fucking did it. But it wasn't easy.

 

It turns out Oz, unofficial leader of the PC Destiny crew, underplayed the difficulty of the Calus fight to the boys, in order to 'keep morale high'. A good job too.

 

Siri optimistically predicted success within 15 minutes on Discord, but it was not to be. The boys entered Calus' caramel and hazelnut Quality Street wrapper of a throne room around 9, and left at about 11:30.

 

Karde, Siri and Oz played readers, and Jonzo Moody and Mau took point in the throne room, clearing adds.  Mistakes were made. The clap was caught. People were sucked off. We had to wipe. And wipe. And wipe. And wipe again.

 

But when all was lost, when the chips were down, when it was now or never, one last try before bed, the team pulled together and we did it. Mercilesses, nades, empowering rifts, shadowshots, the crew pooled all of their resources together to take that fucker down. No more rolling around on the shiny floor naked for him. And stick your chalice up your arse.

 

The PC crew prevailed. Now onto Curse of Osiris.

 

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