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Indiana Jones 5 - Spielberg No Longer Directing!


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Given that this is coming out 39 years after Raiders of the Lost Ark, and assuming it’s set 39 years after that film, the new Indy film will take place in 1975. The same year that Jaws came out. 

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5 minutes ago, MrPogo said:

I seem to remember thinking the last one was good until aliens suddenly appeared, which just seemed really out of context for the film, but haven’t seen it since the cinema!

 

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Raiders - Released in '81, set in '36.

Temple - Released  in '84, set in '35.

Crusade - Released in '89, set in '38.

Crystal Skull - Released in '08, set in '57.

New one - Due for release in '20, presumably set anywhere between '65-75.

 

Crystal Skull is the only one where they stuck - sensibly - to the real world timeline, because Harrison Ford had got old as fuck. But given we're now used to him being old as fuck, I think they can fudge it and have it set before 1975 if they want.

 

The timeline they settle on is going to be really important, and will inform the story. Mid-sixities, they're covering the start of the Vietnam war, various civil rights moments including the Voting Rights Act becoming law, several NASA missions, Bob Dylan going electric, the Watts riots and The Beatles at Shea Stadium. Mid-seventies, they're covering Watergate, the energy crisis, Gerald Ford's 2nd asassination attempt, the debut of SNL, the Hawaii earthquake and various Cold War stuff.

 

Of course, all of this will just be background to the actual hunt for whatever MacGuffin they settle on. Of all the above, I could see a quest for Atlantis being tied into the Hawaii earthquake easily.  FWIW,  I don't actually think it was the 1957 setting that sunk Crystal Skull; it was the bad acting, the "let's print the first take!" attitude of Speilberg, the decision to shoot it all in the U.S, the change from a religious artifact to a overt sci-fi one etc. 

I still think the fridge scene is fine though. I cannot forgive the gophers though. Or the tarzan-monkey bit.

 

 

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2 hours ago, K said:

Given that this is coming out 39 years after Raiders of the Lost Ark, and assuming it’s set 39 years after that film, the new Indy film will take place in 1975. The same year that Jaws came out. 

 

An appearance for sharks with lazers?

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13 minutes ago, Glasgowchivas said:

the change from a religious artifact to a overt sci-fi one etc. 

You can't really blame the film-makers for people making bad assumptions about what sorts of archaeological weirdness Indy is allowed to tackle. Blame them for the fridge and the gophers by all means, but ancient aliens are in no way less plausible in Indy than a magic angel box that melts Nazis.

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Man. I think we need Indy fighting Nazis again.

 

My idea would be to do a 60s set sci-fi adventure. It would open with Indy stealing a holy relic from Hitler’s lost art collection, held in a private museum in the Swiss Alps. He would return the relic to Washington when it would be revealed to be a fake. It's really the key to nazi rat line. A map leading to a bunch of real surviving nazis living in exile in South Africa and thought to be close to completing an unfinished nazi weapons project developed in WW2.

 

The yanks had heard about it from paperclip scientists. Something known...only as “Die Glocke” but until recently did not believe it existed. Mixing advanced and occult technologies, the device is said to be capable of controlling time itself. The nazis believe they’ll be able to use it to go back to the 1930s and change the outcome of the war and allow the Third Reich to reign supreme.

 

Indy, of course, thinks they’re delusional. He’s seen crazier shit than most… But time travel? The Americans don’t need him to believe it. Just find it. A group of black South African mercenaries will do the rest. Led by their enigmatic female leader. The last thing they want is more racist fuckers in control around the world.

 

So Indy heads off to South Africa, pretending to be a wealthy German businessman… trying to find his way “home” to his fellow nazis. There are all kinds of fun and games before they eventually find the secret nazi hide out where tests are being done with the “Die Glocke”. Young prisoners are sent into a room with the activated device and come out seconds later looking like shriveled dying old men.

 

Our big bad guy is not an evil old nazi but a young genius American physicist. An alt-right prick. He sees no difference with what he’s doing working with the exiled nazis to make greater discoveries to what the US are doing working with Nazis scientists to put a man in space. They’re are all just searching for answers. But the scientist is having problems. The device is not working as expected. It’s localizing the time displacement. It’s changing time in the vicinity of the device rather than sending the people themselves back in time. People are growing older before their eyes…. Indie sees it happen and shrugs. He’s seen this kinda thing before… It never ends well for Nazi scum…

 

So… erm… there are complications. Indy is betrayed at some point and ends up captured in time for the bad guy to have figured out the problem with the device. But they need to test it first. Might as well use their new prisoner. They put Indy in in the device, assuming he will die with the rest of them, when the south Africans Mercs arrive to save the day…

 

They take out the big bad guy and the nazis… but its too late for Indy. He’s already in the device and it’s gone past the point of no return…. But for the first time…  the device works. They look on in wonder as rather than aging before their eyes, the already old as fuck Indy… begins to get younger, the decades falling away (to reveal a recast YOUNG INDY) when with a blast of light he disappears. The South Africans realize they were too late… destroy the device and get out of there…

 

In Washington word comes through the mission is complete but Indiana Jones never made it… A small state funeral is held… People will never know what he did for his country... Or the world.

 

Fade to black:

 

Then fade up again…

 

Reveal the year. It’s 1936 and with a blast of blinding light, in the middle of a farm in rural South Africa… A farmer finds a young man unconscious on the ground. He wakes up and the farmer hands him his dropped hat… We may not recognize his face but we know the man.

 

This is our rebooted Indiana Jones. Back in 1936 and ready for a bunch more adventures around the world!

 

Okay. I realize none of this makes a lick of sense. But I’m avoiding real work. What do you want from me?

 

Oh yeah. The title? Let’s call it: INDIANA JONES AND THE RISE OF THE BLACK SUN.

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32 minutes ago, Despin said:

Man. I think we need Indy fighting Nazis again.

 

My idea would be to do a 60s set sci-fi adventure. It would open with Indy stealing a holy relic from Hitler’s lost art collection, held in a private museum in the Swiss Alps. He would return the relic to Washington when it would be revealed to be a fake. It's really the key to nazi rat line. A map leading to a bunch of real surviving nazis living in exile in South Africa and thought to be close to completing an unfinished nazi weapons project developed in WW2.

 

The yanks had heard about it from paperclip scientists. Something known...only as “Die Glocke” but until recently did not believe it existed. Mixing advanced and occult technologies, the device is said to be capable of controlling time itself. The nazis believe they’ll be able to use it to go back to the 1930s and change the outcome of the war and allow the Third Reich to reign supreme.

 

Indy, of course, thinks they’re delusional. He’s seen crazier shit than most… But time travel? The Americans don’t need him to believe it. Just find it. A group of black South African mercenaries will do the rest. Led by their enigmatic female leader. The last thing they want is more racist fuckers in control around the world.

 

So Indy heads off to South Africa, pretending to be a wealthy German businessman… trying to find his way “home” to his fellow nazis. There are all kinds of fun and games before they eventually find the secret nazi hide out where tests are being done with the “Die Glocke”. Young prisoners are sent into a room with the activated device and come out seconds later looking like shriveled dying old men.

 

Our big bad guy is not an evil old nazi but a young genius American physicist. An alt-right prick. He sees no difference with what he’s doing working with the exiled nazis to make greater discoveries to what the US are doing working with Nazis scientists to put a man in space. They’re are all just searching for answers. But the scientist is having problems. The device is not working as expected. It’s localizing the time displacement. It’s changing time in the vicinity of the device rather than sending the people themselves back in time. People are growing older before their eyes…. Indie sees it happen and shrugs. He’s seen this kinda thing before… It never ends well for Nazi scum…

 

So… erm… there are complications. Indy is betrayed at some point and ends up captured in time for the bad guy to have figured out the problem with the device. But they need to test it first. Might as well use their new prisoner. They put Indy in in the device, assuming he will die with the rest of them, when the south Africans Mercs arrive to save the day…

 

They take out the big bad guy and the nazis… but its too late for Indy. He’s already in the device and it’s gone past the point of no return…. But for the first time…  the device works. They look on in wonder as rather than aging before their eyes, the already old as fuck Indy… begins to get younger, the decades falling away (to reveal a recast YOUNG INDY) when with a blast of light he disappears. The South Africans realize they were too late… destroy the device and get out of there…

 

In Washington word comes through the mission is complete but Indiana Jones never made it… A small state funeral is held… People will never know what he did for his country... Or the world.

 

Fade to black:

 

Then fade up again…

 

Reveal the year. It’s 1936 and with a blast of blinding light, in the middle of a farm in rural South Africa… A farmer finds a young man unconscious on the ground. He wakes up and the farmer hands him his dropped hat… We may not recognize his face but we know the man.

 

This is our rebooted Indiana Jones. Back in 1936 and ready for a bunch more adventures around the world!

 

Okay. I realize none of this makes a lick of sense. But I’m avoiding real work. What do you want from me?

 

Oh yeah. The title? Let’s call it: INDIANA JONES AND THE RISE OF THE BLACK SUN.

 

DL71v1RXUAAO6iJ.jpg

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29 minutes ago, Mr Cochese said:

You can't really blame the film-makers for people making bad assumptions about what sorts of archaeological weirdness Indy is allowed to tackle. Blame them for the fridge and the gophers by all means, but ancient aliens are in no way less plausible in Indy than a magic angel box that melts Nazis.

You can directly blame Lucas for the aliens though unsurprisingly, he says it himself on the making of.

 

A movie with the 50s stylings of the old school UFO flicks like Star wars is in the vein of flash Gordon etc might have been alright but I don't understand why he stuck it in Indy.

Even after the prequels I reckon if he said he was going to make such a film he could have easily done it.

 

I'm also intrigued as to what the Frank Darabont script was like that Lucas also dismissed.

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4 minutes ago, b00dles said:

I'm also intrigued as to what the Frank Darabont script was like that Lucas also dismissed.

 

It's better than what ended up on screen. But not by much. It's still hampered by the terrible story Lucas handed him.

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42 minutes ago, Mr Cochese said:

You can't really blame the film-makers for people making bad assumptions about what sorts of archaeological weirdness Indy is allowed to tackle. Blame them for the fridge and the gophers by all means, but ancient aliens are in no way less plausible in Indy than a magic angel box that melts Nazis.

 

I was going to post about how they’d established its a world where ancient magic, curses and the power of God is a thing, but aliens and futuristic technology broke all the rules and seemed to come from a different movie, but then I remembered the fridge and gophers which I’d previously blanked out and am now pretty sure the whole film was a turd.

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5 minutes ago, Despin said:

 

It's better than what ended up on screen. But not by much. It's still hampered by the terrible story Lucas handed him.

Is it floating about somewhere then? Or are you mates with someone who works with him and have all of the scripts up to Indy 10 at home but you can't possibly share them with anyone?

And the SNES 2? ;)

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4 minutes ago, MrPogo said:

 

I was going to post about how they’d established its a world where ancient magic, curses and the power of God is a thing, but aliens and futuristic technology broke all the rules and seemed to come from a different movie, but then I remembered the fridge and gophers which I’d previously blanked out and am now pretty sure the whole film was a turd.

Ancient technology. UFOs not existing is not a rule established by the prior films - if anything it's more like they're saying "all the myths you read about are true". Jewish mythology is real, Kali Ma  of the Thugee Cult is real, Christian mythology is real, the Grays are real.

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The really rather light and inconsequential sci-fi aspect of Crystal Skull doesn't even warrant a mention in relation to its actual problems. There's only a single scene, the Harvard bike chase with the government spooks, that even comes close to capturing the aesthetic and charm of the previous films.

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57 minutes ago, Mr Cochese said:

You can't really blame the film-makers for people making bad assumptions about what sorts of archaeological weirdness Indy is allowed to tackle. Blame them for the fridge and the gophers by all means, but ancient aliens are in no way less plausible in Indy than a magic angel box that melts Nazis.

 

8 minutes ago, Mr Cochese said:

Ancient technology. UFOs not existing is not a rule established by the prior films - if anything it's more like they're saying "all the myths you read about are true". Jewish mythology is real, Kali Ma  of the Thugee Cult is real, Christian mythology is real, the Grays are real.

 

I agree with all of this but you cannot deny that regardless of how plausible one is over the other, the introduction of aliens just felt wrong for the series.

 

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19 minutes ago, b00dles said:

Is it floating about somewhere then? Or are you mates with someone who works with him and have all of the scripts up to Indy 10 at home but you can't possibly share them with anyone?

 

It is floating around somewhere.

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