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Naysonymous

Football thread 2015/16 season.

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Look, let's put aside all club differences and watch this Zola goal and remember how it was dedicated to a kid that died in hospital:

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Is anyone else's club littered with embarrassing parody Twitter accounts?

Derby striker Chris Martin isn't on Twitter, so naturally there's one for him.

I just looked at it, he's responded to a Derby County journalist about whose recent goal was better, Martin's or Thorne's. "Do you really need to ask?" he quips. Yeah, you're not actually Chris Martin, mate.

Makes a tweet about "scoring my first international goal" copying in that One Direction guy who is a Derby fan. You realise you're not actually Chris Martin, yeah?

This was my favourite though, quoted verbatim:

"Delighted to win the @SkyBetChamp goal of the weekend & get into the @football_league team of the week."

What is his aim? Does he want a message from a Sky journalist telling him what a good goal 'he' scored? Does he want them as a follower? What exactly is he going for, here?

If you're the type of person to create a Twitter parody account, you automatically aren't funny enough to pull it off. (Possible exceptions are Jamie Redknapp and Sam Allardyce, but to be honest I still never saw the appeal.)

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That Chris Martin one doesn't sound like a parody account though. It's just an imposter. For it to be parody, there needs to be some element of parody.

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Yeah, parody accounts are fine and can be funny (most aren't though). However, fake accounts are just sad, cringe worthy and should be closed down.

Boring James Milner I find funny. The Fat Sam was also really good back in the day.

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That Chris Martin one doesn't sound like a parody account though. It's just an imposter. For it to be parody, there needs to be some element of parody.

It's a mixture of jokes and that stuff, and the about page says 'parody', but you're right, he's more an imposter than anything. Which is utterly pointless.

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Also, Tokyo Sexwale is my new favourite name in football. Solomon Rondon is old news!

Rondon catching that guy and spinning him around back on to his feet was awesome. Someone link the vine and get green.

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It's a mixture of jokes and that stuff, and the about page says 'parody', but you're right, he's more an imposter than anything. Which is utterly pointless.

They write parody to avoid deletion. (It technically moves it into a different area of the law, but that's a bit like "delete roms after 24 hours and it is fine" in terms of likelihood to not get prosecuted.)

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34657900

Sepp Blatter: Russia 2018 World Cup 'agreed before vote'

Suspended Fifa president Sepp Blatter has suggested there was an agreement in place for Russia to host the 2018 World Cup - before the vote took place.

He said there was a "discussion" in 2010 about future World Cups, according to Russian news agency Tass.

He added a late swing in voting that gave Qatar the 2022 World Cup undid a similar agreement to hand it to the US.

The Swiss, 79, is serving a 90-day ban alongside Uefa chief Michel Platini and both deny any wrongdoing.

Asked by Tass whether it was a mistake to hold voting for the 2018 and 2022 tournaments simultaneously, Blatter replied that before the ballot: "It was agreed that we go to Russia because it's never been in Russia, eastern Europe, and for 2022 we go back to America."

The bidding process for the 2018 and 2022 tournaments is the subject of an ongoing Swiss criminal investigation. It was begun alongside a US inquiry following the arrest and indictment of several top executives by the US Department of Justice on corruption charges.

In a wide-ranging interview, Blatter, who will be replaced as head of world football's governing body at an election on 26 February, also said:

  • Russia will "never" lose the 2018 World Cup
  • England are "bad losers" over perceived media criticism of the 2018 and 2022 Word Cup bidding process
  • Most national football associations "don't like" Uefa-backed Fifa presidential candidate Gianni Infantino
  • His own current suspension is a "total nonsense" and the Fifa ethics committee has failed him

How the fuck are England "bad losers" when the outcome of the 2018 and 2022 world cup selection vote was effectiviely pre-determined

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I'm reading Andrew Jennings latest book on FIFA - you start off thinking it is unbelievable how corrupt they are and then with every turn of the page they manage to get even worse.

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won't start a thread for it but part 1 of the 2 parter Class of 92 Out of Their League, about the Nevilles Giggs Scholes and Nicky Butt buying Salford FC, was on BBC1 last night. If anybody missed it sure its on catch up. I though it was a really honest doc that got behind the scenes of small time football really well, didn't seem a polished puff piece at all designed to make the famous chaps look good.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/tv-and-radio-reviews/11964332/Class-of-92-Out-of-Their-League-BBC-One-review-honest.html

Who'd have though 10 years ago that Gary Neville was going to be so interesting and engaging post his playing days.

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Good penalty shoot-out at Stoke/Chelsea. Great save from Butland to win it 5-4 for Stoke.

You play 30 minutes against a worn out 10 man Stoke and don't score it's really your own fault.

Sadly I said that to my dad before the 30 minutes....

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Was just reading about the Portland - Kansas MLS playoff game last night, Kansas take it to extra time with a goal in the 87th, Portland score in the 118th to get it to penalties where this happens:

Has it all, good penalties, good saves, efforts into row Z, a terrible panenka attempt, hitting the posts, 11 penalties per side, the lot. Kansas have a chance to win and hit the post then they get another chance to win but hit both posts, ultimately Portland's keeper scores then saves from the Kansas keeper to win the match.

Breathless stuff. Here's the penalties if you want to go in blind:

https://streamable.com/rd1o

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Nat Borcher in that shoot out has the most amazing beard in football (I had to look him up) - even better then Raul Meireles. He looks like Tormund from Game of Thrones

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There is an excellent write up of that Man Utd disallowed own goal from the other night here:

http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/2015/10/29/9635422/manchester-united-middlesbrough-own-goal-daley-blind

They stare, rapt, at the mysterious bouncing sphere that has manifested between Fellaini's scissoring limbs. What is it? What does it want? Is it dangerous?
The ball is not falling to one of United's more maladroit figures: Fellaini, perhaps, or Phil "QWOP" Jones. It's falling to Daley Blind. That means things are probably going to be okay.
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I'd not seen that but had it been allowed I think that all told that might've been the best own goal ever, even topping that one where that bloke broke his nose kicking the ball into his own face.

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For a country named after one of nature's funniest animals, they sure do take their football seriously.

Recep Tayyip Erdoğan persuades Trabzonspor boss to free four match officials he locked in stadium overnight for failing to award penalty

The boss of Turkish football club Trabzonspor locked four match officials in a stadium overnight for failing to award his team a penalty, only to release them under escort from special forces after a phone call from President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan.


http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/oct/30/turkey-president-erdogan-intervenes-football-boss-referees-hostage

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Joe Jordan is a prick

A kid I knew at school always used to tell the story of asking Billy Bremner for his autograph and being told 'Fuck off, you little shit.'

Who'd have thought Leeds players would be so lacking in grace?

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My favourite bit in the Middleborough - Man U match was where the Man U players felt so bad about us being denied the greatest own goal of all time that they had another go a few minutes later, Romero somehow miscontrolling a backpass onto his own post.

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Coutinho with the most Coutinho half of all time, there. Absolutely fuck all for 95% of it then scores an incredible screamer.

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