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A Star Wars Question


twinklyspangle
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It means that if their standards are that low then they're probably not worth knowing as a person.

I don't really mean it, in fact it's just something Frank Skinner says a lot on his radio show. But I would question the taste of anyone who could enjoy something so utterly beyond redemption.

You'd better stop reading my Doctor Who reviews, then. :(
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Er, yes.

I know, I'm shit.

Anyway I have downloaded it all onto my tablet so I'm ready for the marathon.

So you can stream to the TV?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

You're not intending to watch on a tablet are you?

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I have no idea how to do that...

Well if it's an ipad you can get a lead to HDMI out I think, or use an Apple TV, but guess you don't have one of those.

If it's a non apple table then would've thought a tv lead would be an easy ebay job, but don't have a tab of any kind so sure someone will be along shortly to advise.

Either way, watching Star Wars or Empire on a tablet would be akin to driving a vintage Ferrari on a field rather than a great road. You get an idea of what it's like, but you simply can't enjoy it as intended.

If there's no choice, you'd still do it, but what a wasted opportunity.

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Jump forward to the release of Revenge of the Sith. I'm not intending to go. People start telling me that unlike the first two this one is "actually really good."

...

Yeah. Fuck THAT.

Revenge of the Sith is a confused movie, IMO.

Firstly, it suffers from the same problem as 2 - Hayden Christensen is a terrible actor, and he & Portman have no chemistry whatsoever. All the romance scenes in both films today, which should have been tender, then passionate, then tinged with guilt and secrecy... They're all just cringeworthy. Really, they're a blight on the whole saga. NP does her best but even she can't save it.

Secondly, by definition, it has to be a sequel to the first two films. This means it needs to feature Christensen and drag over the poor elements of those films, such as the awkward romance, some of the visual choices, Jar Jar...

Thirdly, and this is a personal tilt, Vader needed to be Vader for the final act. I don't mean pissy teenage-angst half crying-whilst angry contact-lens Hayden Vader. I mean 7 feet tall, techno-samurai, force-choking, death incarnate, I AM THE FIST OF THE EMPEROR Vader.

The reason I often bring this up is because when I think of the film, and kinda mentally "scrub" the above things, what is left over is pretty good. The central spine of the plot (Anakin turning to the dark side in a vain attempt to save his wife), the purge of the Jedi, the initial battle, Grievous, the design of the ships and weapons starting to resemble the original movies... These things are all pretty good. Unfortunately, you have to temper the good with the bad, and taken as a whole, the film just feels very confused.

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Watch them in story chronological order, seeing as a bunch of posters have spoiled the royal fuck out of the whole series of films, in a topic created by someone who explicitly said they had never seen any of the films, and wanted advice on the best way to enjoy them with that in mind.

Well played, forum. Where were the GoT spoiler police when we needed them?

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I have a strange and complex relationship with the prequels. I enjoyed each of them on release (I even went to see Phantom Menace twice) but since then I've found them to be worse than I previously thought every time I've watched them. So after while I reached the point where I thought they were ok-ish and interesting in places but not very good overall, and now I don't want to watch any of them ever again, for fear that I will find they are not only the worst films ever made but the three most abominable cultural artifacts yet produced by our human civilisation.

I still love the originals though.

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Some people like the prequels. GET. OVER. IT. Yes, they are often a bit shit, but they are also often very good (well, maybe not AOTC so much).

I don't know where you get your delusions, laser-brain.

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Do people really not like the pod race?

Well the pod race is basically just a bunch of unfunny visual gags interspersed with some tension free racing that hits the same beats over and over again for ten minutes. It never feels like there's anything at stake, it lacks weight (in both senses) and it certainly outstays its welcome.

It pales in comparison to the races in, say, Redline or Speed Racer.

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I liked the noise the pods made during the race, that really low THUNKTHUNKTHUNK noise it made, but that's about it.

The other bit I liked about the film is the choral theme during the big flashy fight at the end; "Ahhhhhhh... AHH-AHH-AHHHHHHH". That was good.

All the other parts of the film, frankly I couldn't give a bantha's arse about any of it.

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The sound effects for the films is actually pretty good - as mentioned above with the sound of the pod racer, but the highlight were the sonic charges jango fett drops. But apart from that, it's all shit. Twinkly spangle - I'll send you a copy of the grindhouse version of star wars. Watch Ep4 first and then wait until you see this.

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Just watched the original trilogy over the last three nights with my missus who'd never seen them before. She'd watched phantom with me last weekend, and of course I was saying all that was wrong with it. We then watched the red letter media reviews of the prequels and I convinced her to give the original trilogy a go. She had preconceptions they were all about space fights and guns and stuff and really was apprehensive.

It was weird experiencing someone else's reaction to a series of films that for me have always just been around.

She loved A New Hope. She loved the characters, the story, the lack of explaining absolutely everything. By the end of Empire Strikes Back she was in tears. She was really moved by Vader's story, obviously she appreciated how a once good person had been seduced and trapped in a world of evil. The scene where Vader's is watching the falcon escape and he's talking to Luke was the tipping point.

Then Jedi last night. She loves furry things so the ewoks were bit a problem for her. However, literally she was in pieces again by the end. Something in Vader's story had just hit a nerve. And when I thought about it, even though it's Luke's journey, they really did make Vader come alive rather than just being a default villain. It was as much his story.

tldr: The original trilogy are absolutely magnificent :D

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Phantom menace may be pretty poor, but It does have the duel of the fates scene and the pod race. They're both brilliant fun.

I watched the Phantom Menace last night. It was on ITV2 and after all the discussion in this thread recently I thought I'd rewatch it. I watched it with my daughter and I went into it with a "great, we're watching a Star Wars film!" attitude.

Fucking awful. Still, my daughter was suitably distracted by the shiny lights and visual overdose, but then she's only five.

As for the duel being brilliant fun, it is only if you forget how to think (the inconsistencies of the jedi running fast, and higher/lower ground advantage are enough to dampen any of the spectacle of three blokes jumping around hitting each other with glowing sticks.)

Argh this fucking film.

And yes, I am suggesting that if you think the Phantom Menace is a good, even an OK, film then you have the critical thinking and movie appreciation levels of a five year old.

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