Star Wars: The Force Awakens

[Delargey]

I see you've blocked out one of the worst bits.

I put it in the same place as those comfortable memories of my uncle's night time visits.

[Gregory Wolfe]

I think the main problem with the Phantom Menace is Lucas's insistence on forcing completely unfunny slapstick comedy into it. Comedy battledroids, comedy Jamaican alien, comedy kid-accidentally-blowing-up-shield-generator.

He's like Lt. Hauk from Good Morning Vietnam, but without someone to simply tell him, "George, you're just not funny."

Whilst I don't necessarily disagree with you...

[Darren]

Nah, the mouse droid bit is ace, especially Chewie's shrug afterwards.

I won't try to defend Boba Fett's death scene though.

[makkuwata]

I've seen it debunked a dozen times, and on paper it's probably dumb and shrinking the universe the way Lucas did continuously with the prequels, but if the identity of Max Von Sydow's character is being kept secret for a reason...I might actually make that "squee" noise in the cinema.

[And]

Nah, whizzo you are wrong.

Darth Mual was a great villian. The double lightsaber was cool and not pokey.

The pod race was good fun.

Qui Gon was a decent mentor type.

Anikin was terrible but a child actor, so at least he had an excuse.

Duel of the Fates was beautiful.

BUT JAR JAR BINKS. I mean it's just cringingly awful. The rest of the film is like fucking citizen kane compared to the scenes with him in.

I watched TPM with my 3.5 year old boy and my almost 7 year old girl.

All she cared about was that there was a princess (well, queen) and the boy loved Jar Jar binks. Loved.

If you ask him who's cooler - Binks or Maul, he says binks. I'm considering having him adopted. He still thinks Darth Vader is the best though. (thanks to those lego star wars cartoons).

But as a kids film, its ok, colourful, easy to follow in a superficial manner (if you're 3 and give no fucks about trade disputes, midichlorians or parliamentary reform). Has a couple of cracking action sequences surrounded by a mush of shit dialogue and boring plot.

It's the worst of the 3 though, because the other 2 are also a couple of cracking action sequences surrounded by a mush of shit dialogue and boring plot.

TPM has the Big Darth maul battle, the opening sequence with the jedi on the federation ship and the podrace

AOTC has the Count Dookie fight against 3 jedi, the scene in the colliseum and the battle with the clones vs robots. also Obi wan vs Jango, the bounty hunter chase through coruscant

ROTS has the ace space battle at the start and you get the point

The action in all 3 is good. Its just what links it up that's crap. Cherry picking the 20 minutes of phantom menace that aren't shit doesn't make it a good film.

I'd never heard of the machete order, but having had a read up I'm going to go with that for the rest of the films.

[Gregory Wolfe]

Nah, the mouse droid bit is ace, especially Chewie's shrug afterwards.

I won't try to defend Boba Fett's death scene though.

It wasn't necessarily about whether the comedy was good or bad, just that it's always been there. Some occasions more successful than others.

[Sidewaysbob]

See before the idiot lucas buggered around with things, Bobba fett was "just another" bounty hunter. Its only the shoehorning of his shitty CGI image into ROTJ and this big campaign to turn him into some kind of bad ass answering back darth vader hard man, and then oh yeah he's a man on a mission cause Jedis killed his daddy who are nothing to do with smugglers on tatooine nonsense that makes his death so stupid.

before all of that, Han kills the man that captured him .. move on.

oh and young Anakin saying .. "and this is pod racing " as he flies the ship out of the droid command ship .. thats the worst bit.

[SeanR]

See before the idiot lucas buggered around with things, Bobba fett was "just another" bounty hunter. Its only the shoehorning of his shitty CGI image into ROTJ and this big campaign to turn him into some kind of bad ass answering back darth vader hard man, and then oh yeah he's a man on a mission cause Jedis killed his daddy who are nothing to do with smugglers on tatooine nonsense that makes his death so stupid.

before all of that, Han kills the man that captured him .. move on.

So wrong I felt a disturbance in the force...

One. He was shoe-horned into ANH

Two. He made his debut in TSWHS

agree with the backstory shit though.

[makkuwata]

AOTC has 2 redeemable moments.

1)Obi-Wan in the bar casually dismissing Anakin by telling him he was going "to get a drink." Then having the little death sticks exchange.

2)Obi-Wan being unimpressed with Anakin's attempt at a rescue from the colosseum. "Good Job."

Human moments where you could see flashes of a young version of Alec Guiness' character.

ROTS: I liked the idea of Order 66. I wish it was implemented better. In a good movie. Everything else from those two...utterly unwatchable garbage.

Hey guys. Remember Sifo Dyas? Me neither. Probably not important to the course of the entire narrative.

And how many people watched that trilogy without picking up on the fact that Anakin was force-Jesus, immaculately conceived via Plagieus. Who?

[whizzo]

Basicly they are all utterly worthless and my preffered order is 456. Then stop.

[SeanR]

wait, wasn't sidious plagieus' apprentice?

until he killed him.

sidious was, of course, killed by HIS apprentice.

It's. Like. Poetry.

[Space Renegade Ulala]

Good things about AotC:

* The BWARAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNGGGGGGGGG sound Jango's mines made

* Christopher Lee

* The final montage when you see Sheev checking out his new army marching into the Star Destroyers while the Imperial March plays

That's all. Another reason to hate it is for being a horrendous c-c-c-combo breaker.

AHN - Battle of Yavin

ESB - Luke v Vader; Team Falcon v Stormtroopers

RotJ - Luke v Vader; Commandos and Ewoks v Imperials; Rebel Armada assault on the Death Star

TPM - Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon v Maul; Gungans v Federation Army; Team Amidala assaulting the palace; Naboo fighters taking on the control ship

I was cheated of a cross-cutting 5 way battle, god damn it!

[Varsity]

The thing that always threw me, and I'd forgotten about it entirely until I rewatched the 3 prequels at work. The whole prophecy that one will "bring balance to the force." Surely it wouldn't have taken a genius to work out that the Jedi at the time of the prequel trilogy were pretty big in number what with the whole Jedi Temple on Coruscant thing but the Sith were all but extinct.

Doesn't really bring balance with the chosen one becoming the best Jedi ever does it aha. Balance was indeed brought to it by wiping them all out to only a couple left. Clues in the prophecy guys!

[Darren]

I've seen it debunked a dozen times, and on paper it's probably dumb and shrinking the universe the way Lucas did continuously with the prequels, but if the identity of Max Von Sydow's character is being kept secret for a reason...I might actually make that "squee" noise in the cinema.

Go on then, put it in spoilers but say who you think he might be. Somebody who would be middle aged in the OT and a young man in the prequels, and still alive? Nobody springs to mind.

[makkuwata]

Go on then, put it in spoilers but say who you think he might be. Somebody who would be middle aged in the OT and a young man in the prequels, and still alive? Nobody springs to mind.

If he can be alive in the Legends EU...

If Lucas can say in the DVD commentaries that he gives his blessing to the notion...

If the rumours are true about his character having some sort of cybernetic component...

It would be pretty freaking cool if MVS is Boba. I know it's hypocritical to hate that Anakin built 3P0 and still want to see something like this happen...but I want to see this happen.

[Professor Rob]

It wasn't necessarily about whether the comedy was good or bad, just that it's always been there. Some occasions more successful than others.

I don't mind comedy moments in non-comedies. Most films have them and most directors handle it well enough. Lucas's efforts are just downright clumsy and cringe-worthy, though.

[Darren]

If he can be alive in the Legends EU...

If Lucas can say in the DVD commentaries that he gives his blessing to the notion...

If the rumours are true about his character having some sort of cybernetic component...

It would be pretty freaking cool if MVS is Boba. I know it's hypocritical to hate that Anakin built 3P0 and still want to see something like this happen...but I want to see this happen.

Hmm, OK, I'm not sure about that!

I ended up looking on Wikipedia for a list of the main characters in Jedi, just to see who might fit the bill...

Admiral Piett?

Bib Fortuna?

Droopy McCool?

But it wasn't a wasted effort because I fell down the Gary Kurtz rabbit hole and ended up reading these two fantastic and very insightful interviews.

AN INTERVIEW WITH GARY KURTZ

'Star Wars' producer Gary Kurtz speaks out

And now I'm wondering what might have been (and kind of wishing it had been) if it had been George that walked away from the series after Empire instead.

[rubberducker]

He is a

Maori (boba).

maybe Max is playing mace windu?

[Paulando]

I still can't wait for this but I'm getting fucking bored of seeing Star Wars everywhere already. That's good though, I'll probably just ignore everything until release now.

[TehStu]

The number one reason not to watch the films in episode order is that The Phantom Menace is one of the worst films ever made.

Imagine watching that turgid piece of shit and then consenting to watch 5 more films in that series? Why would you?

You can't possibly empathize with how kids view these films. We're all miserable shite bags in our 30s, without time to watch poor films. Kids will watch just about anything.

I think you just need to expose them to it a lot if you want them to get in to it. My 5 year old daughter, who I don't think has sat through Empire entirely yet, gets excited when she spots boba fett anywhere (T-shirt, etc), because daddy does too.

Edit- oh, and she'll usually pick him in Lego.

[makkuwata]

He is a

Maori (boba).

maybe Max is playing mace windu?

He's a dude from a fictional galaxy who, if alive, would probably be half digested and horrendously scarred.

[Darren]

I'm still crossing my fingers for the surprise return of Droopy McCool.

[DarhkFox]

My and some mates started watching the films again - we started with episode 1, watched episode 2 sunday and i believe we watching episode 3 tonight.

Holy crap was clone wars crap. The acting in particular. Clone wars was my least favorite of the new trilogy anyway but it really stinks. Couple of good action scenes though. Phantom Menance, why not fantastic at least had some decent moments (pod race!).

Return of the sith is the film i can not remember hardly anything about, but i recall it being okay so that's something..

[Mogster]

I hate sand.

[Sponge]

Those spoilers above are the worst news I've heard about the film, if they turn out to be true.

[makkuwata]

There are no spoilers above. There's fan-wank speculation.

And it would be amazing.

[The Grand Pursuivant]

I was on set in a scene with Max von Sydow. He did not wear a mask.

[Glasgowchivas]

The rumour is not dependant on the mask though.

Having said that, it's been debunked a half dozen ways to Sunday already.

When they choose to revisit that character - and they will - it won't be as an octogenarian.

[Space Renegade Ulala]

I was on set in a scene with Max von Sydow. He did not wear a mask.

Did you get to chat to him, what was he like? Obvs not asking about the film, just the legendary old duffer, I love that guy.

[K]

Hmm, OK, I'm not sure about that!

I ended up looking on Wikipedia for a list of the main characters in Jedi, just to see who might fit the bill...

Admiral Piett?

Bib Fortuna?

Droopy McCool?

But it wasn't a wasted effort because I fell down the Gary Kurtz rabbit hole and ended up reading these two fantastic and very insightful interviews.

AN INTERVIEW WITH GARY KURTZ

'Star Wars' producer Gary Kurtz speaks out

And now I'm wondering what might have been (and kind of wishing it had been) if it had been George that walked away from the series after Empire instead.

I gather Gary Kurtz' recollections of earlier versions of the Star Wars films are at best hazy; Star Wars was originally released without the Episode IV tag, and I don't think there was ever a version of the Jedi script (or story) that was darker, or had Leia as queen / wookies instead of ewoks / Han's death. Kurtz and Kershner's contributions to Empire were invaluable, and were part of the reason why it's a darker, more emotionally satisfying film than Star Wars (basically, because they made it in Europe without Lucas' oversight, but with access to his chequebook), but of late he seems to be carving out a career telling Star Wars fans a fairy tale about the brilliant version of RotJ that they almost could have had.