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rllmuk
Comrade

The Alan Partridge Thread

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So you've just given birth to a little baby Heron, not literally of course; that would be hideous.

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The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down!

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Now, 'LILM ' -- Lessons In Life Management -- is a business presentation I originally did for Amstrad. It was so successful, I developed it for Findus... and it's just snowballed from there.

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I've got a girlfriend. See, she's not stopping me.

Let's hope this brings up more classic Partridge-isms for us to recall in threads llike this.

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I think I'd be more preoccupied by the fact I was encountering a talking snake. I think whether I wanted an apple or not would be a side issue.

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(puts money on bedside table) Oh not this isn't for you! No no, of course if it was I'd add a couple of zeroes to that.

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(To dictaphone) Sack Lynn for being unloyal – disloyal, and for joining in fun in a way that excludes her employer. And sack her for being an absolute idiot, and inefficient. Then, can you call Bill Oddie and

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I see you have your big plate, Mr Partridge.

Hello can I speak to Fernando Partridge please, good grief you sound tired out, hang on, are you in bed with a woman? Honestly, you should take her to an owl sanctuary- hello? Hello?

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Put my face out!

Can you get that shit out of shot? I don't want people associating it with me.

That's not what you said in the car, Alan, what was it, Ramadamadingdong?

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