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Brooker does games...again - Gameswipe

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Gears of War does get easier after that bit, Gaz, you special, special boy.

How is it hard to stand in front of a door and dive out of the way when something runs at you?

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Maybe if you work in TV. The only parts of Screenwipe I didn't find interesting were those Fat Pie animations. There was always some insight or observation that made even the worst television shows look interesting. Even the humour seemed more consistant - how many times did Brooker make up some ridiculous game premise throughout Gameswipe? Although I suppose that could be tenuously connected to the plot of the 50 Cent game.

Umm, they were rather funny. :P

Screenwipe very rarely tells me something I don't already know - Brooker is just very good at communicating clear ideas and then linking them altogether, summarising the whole spirit - good or bad - of an entire series in just a couple of minutes.

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I think I've always been a vitriolic writer. My chief influences are humorous British critics like Victor Lewis-Smith and Charlie Brooker.

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Dredging out that shit Craig Charles fronted VR show is worthy of kudos. It was almost like the Fightbox of its day.

Does anyone remember Virtually Impossible? It was the thing CITV chose to succeed Knightmare, when virtual reality hype was at its mid-90s peak.

Watching that clip, the fish is just as annoying as I remember.

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How is it hard to stand in front of a door and dive out of the way when something runs at you?

Go down to the bear enclosure at the zoo and give it a try.

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"Waaah waaaah I'm shit at this game so I can't play the rest, that is unfair, I've paid for that and I can't play it!"

Well, you would hate the rest of what you have paid for too, because it isn't going to get easier, is it, cunt.

I'm alright at games really, not amazing or anything, I've finished all the Halo games on Legendary, do okay in online shooters, start most games on the setting up from normal, am semi competent at beat-em-ups etc.

But there's always something... like playing a game on someone elses profile or in split screen and finding you can't select a level, or having to unlock stuff for multiplayer in single player. LOCKED CHARACTERS IN ONLINE BEAT-EM-UPS (finally Namco and Capcom have seen sense on this...). "Getting lost" in levels or arbitrary illogical puzzle sections that bring the game to a halt. Insane difficulty spikes, usually in some crappy sequence unrelated to the normal gameplay like QTEs, or turret / vehicle sections with next to no margin for error. Unlockable kit and upgrades in online shooters ( :) ).

Year after year of this shit.

I want everything unlocked at the start and where possible every level available in the level select whether I've reached them sequentially or not.

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I want everything unlocked at the start and where possible every level available in the level select whether I've reached them sequentially or not.

For things like "free roam", I'm with you there. The fact that the first Getaway made you finish the game before unlocking this was a dick move, something that they didn't repeat for the sequel.

Being able to skip a hard level, if you keep on getting defeated is also good, such as in Rhythm Heaven.

However, all levels open from the start .... where's the challenge or sense of progression?

I do really wish though that Starfox and Starfox64 had a level select for when you beat the game and that Zelda would do the same for dungeons. Might take one than one westerner on the dev staff to change this though.

As for some of the frustrations about Gameswipe, I think you have to remember that when he first started making Screenwipe, Brooker had been involved in making several TV shows.

To my knowledge, he's never worked on any games, just been a journalist.

This might reflect on why he didn't decide to be authoritative on how games get made and how flawed the system can be, just like that time he did that great piece on dealing with the TV commissioning process.

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For things like "free roam", I'm with you there. The fact that the first Getaway made you finish the game before unlocking this was a dick move, something that they didn't repeat for the sequel.

Being able to skip a hard level, if you keep on getting defeated is also good, such as in Rhythm Heaven.

However, all levels open from the start .... where's the challenge or sense of progression?

In playing and finishing the levels in sequence same as if they weren't unlocked, which is how 99% of people presented with the game will play it anyway.

But at the same time not screwing people over in cases where they're playing on a different profile or console, or they've lost their saves, or the game has issues letting someone play a level in co-op because their profile doesn't have it unlocked in single player.

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However, all levels open from the start .... where's the challenge or sense of progression?

Exactly! I bought a DVD the other day, and all the chapters were unlocked. "What's the fucking point?" I thought to myself as I hurled it into the sun.

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Exactly! I bought a DVD the other day, and all the chapters were unlocked. "What's the fucking point?" I thought to myself as I hurled it into the sun.

It's not really the same thing, is it? It's more akin to doing a triathlon and skipping the swimming because 'it was too hard'. Not like I disagree with Dara's point, I do think games should have skippable sections.

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I think I've always been a vitriolic writer. My chief influences are humorous British critics like Victor Lewis-Smith and Charlie Brooker.

There was an excellent Screenwipe where CB was supposedly being fed info by a voice-disguised TV insider. He mentioned VLS, and CB jokingly claimed to have "...never heard of him" - a nice acknowledgement of VLS's influence (not least as he is probably best known for amusing, vitriolic TV reviews - albeit for the Evening Standard).

Anyway, personally I can't stand Yahtzee. Like Clarkson, I simply don't buy the exaggeratedly negative stance he takes on everything. Brooker balances his writing and TV work very well, and brings a huge amount of humanity to the whole thing. Yahtzee just emits unconvincing scorn and wears a twat-hat.

Also, he's part responsible for this :

Bits, fronted by three douche-ey guys. Yuk.

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Yeah but this programme was all over the place, you never quite understood what he was trying to get at, point being: he didn't have a point. He just wanted to talk about games and make the entire adult population, non the fucking wiser.

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But the biggest thing lacking was the positivity. Nobody involved in the show seemed to like games. They play them, yes, but liking them? That the one quote most people seem to have come away from it loling about was "Video games are SHITE" says a lot. And without any positivity, without any insight, without any passion for gaming it seemed a bit limp, to me both as a gamer and as a fan of Brooker's previous programmes. Before it aired I thought the cast list read like he'd advertised on his Twitter to see which celebs following him had heard of Modern Warfare, and that's pretty much what the end result felt like. I could find more insight, passion and positivity about gaming from anyone on this forum, and they wouldn't have to be paid to tell me about it.

That's why Gameswipe was disappointing to me. It wasn't a bad show, but by no means was it a great one.

Have you spent a lot of time in this forum? It is EXACTLY like Gameswipe.

Most gamers, on nearly every forum lately, seem to be really negative when talking about the games they buy. They find faults everywhere and complain about them non-stop on the internet.

I like to drop into the Batman thread on this forum just to see people talking positively about a game!

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Yeah but this programme was all over the place, you never quite understood what he was trying to get at, point being: he didn't have a point. He just wanted to talk about games and make the entire adult population, non the fucking wiser.

Very tall claim. Scuttlebutt suggests people who don't usually imbibe in computer games found the experience rather invigorating; the missus* took delight in sighting the titles of her youth ("Monkey Island!") but found most segments informative.

*This is a lie. This is a computer games forum. No one here has a partner.

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There was an excellent Screenwipe where CB was supposedly being fed info by a voice-disguised TV insider. He mentioned VLS, and CB jokingly claimed to have "...never heard of him" - a nice acknowledgement of VLS's influence (not least as he is probably best known for amusing, vitriolic TV reviews - albeit for the Evening Standard).

Anyway, personally I can't stand Yahtzee. Like Clarkson, I simply don't buy the exaggeratedly negative stance he takes on everything. Brooker balances his writing and TV work very well, and brings a huge amount of humanity to the whole thing. Yahtzee just emits unconvincing scorn and wears a twat-hat.

Also, he's part responsible for this :

Bits, fronted by three douche-ey guys. Yuk.

That was utterly terrible. I was already of the opinion that Gameswipe was brilliant, but seeing this has hammered home how dreadful these things can be. I'd never heard of Yahtzee and now I'm sorry that I did.

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