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Big Brother 9

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I know Rex was an arsehole when his lass Torres was in there with him

*sprays coffee everywhere* :lol:

Amazing, why didn't I think of that??

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Man, arranging his son to win 100k and Lucy Pinder's tits resting on his head. He's definitely doing something right.

Having Lucy Pinders tits on his head undoubtedly is doing as much for him as it would for George Michael

Grace gives us her final week thoughts...

So Kat and Mo are both gone. Evil Big Brother! Nobody deserves to be spewed down those clanky metal steps clad in a raggedy dressing gown! That was too cruel. Imagine? You spend ten weeks fixating on your big eviction moment then finally you're turfed out wearing an outfit apt for a 3am Hotel fire-alarm. Just awful.

Ok I'd have chortled like a rabid cormorant if it had happened to Nicole, but with Kat and Mo it seemed unjust. Kat took the shock eviction almost as badly as one could envision. It was like watching a Kathreya Kasisopa Jive Bunny megamix. We got ten seconds of every one Kat's greatest hits including 'Oh Big Brudder you make me cry!' 'I just wan Happy How' and not forgetting, 'Cookie Power! We got cookie love!'

Later during Davina's interview - just to recap for viewers who didn't make it past three minutes before curling into a ball behind their sofas howling 'Make the scaryshoutywomanbaby stop please!' - Kat was in full throttle. 'When you make good fwend in house, it very important to keep fwend Davina!' Kat sobbed, before whipping up the crowd into a chorus of 'If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.'

An oversized cookie with HIRARIOUS was unveiled to much screaming. Sadly the time was up before Kat had chance to do the splits.

Watching the House in its final days, feels like the aftermath of a very dysfunctional houseparty. Like waking up with a bleak Drambuie and Ketamine comedown to find some of the worst proponents of last night's carnage are still in your lounge, claiming squatters rights and no amount of flinging open patio doors, walking around with a bin bag tutting or turning up Heartbeat to full blast will make them sod off home.

And by God, I've tried to make Rex go home. You can't fault my spirit, even if you disagree with my cause. HOW is Rex still there? HOW!? Does my opinion and powers of wildly unhinged rhetoric count for nothing? Not stress like Rex knows it. Rex knows all about real work.

(short answer: no) How many Sundays have I sat on that orange sofa chuntering away, like Stalin let loose in Karen Millen, imploring Britain's masses to rise up kick Lord Snooty's arse back to Hampstead?

(answer: every Sunday, all Summer 2008 long. I may as well have gone down Southend and shouted at the sea to retreat). Because what did I achieve? Hang on, let me switch on E4 a moment...OH LOOK THERE'S REX! He's in the kitchen, wandering about in his grey singlet and his overly tight white Donny Tourette denims. He's made it to the final.

Of course, what I should admit about Rex is that, despite him pushing every one of my Class War/Eat the Rich buttons, he has been a 'great' housemate. Great in so much as he certainly gave me a lot to cogitate over. I've spent weeks ruminating on how kids can be being born into such wealth, be surrounded by such strong role-models, be showered with such stellar connections and opportunities and can turn out so vicious, non-empathetic and at times, so utterly daft.

And that's fine if Rex's breed aren't affecting anyone, but it's his ilk of person who usually ends up in charge. For example, does anyone who's ever worked their way up from nothing to a position of power in a company think that assistants do '**** all' and have no stress? This was one of Rex's illuminating little rants this week. There's no stress in assisting. It's just 'getting a few ******* coffees and sandwiches'

Grace lets loose on the finalists...

What's been fun about the Rex saga, is observing how good old fashioned deference to the upper classes is certainly alive and well in Britain today. No one in the house has ever truly challenged Rex about his concept of life.

No one's ever suggested to him that his life might just be a bit hollow and lonely and crap. Maybe that's why he's so unpleasant and dissatisfied? No, whatever Rex has told the housemates about food, travel, manners, society or his personal life they lap up as gospel truth.

Not even Lisa, who's years older than Rex, but from a very poor northern background, has ever questioned the innate wisdom of that small ginger boy stood by her side in the kitchen quite literally telling her how to boil an egg. So, all in all,I can understand how Rex has made it to the final. And how he'll no doubt be on our TV screens for a good while to come.

Hey they can give him a cookery show and he can behave like Gordon Ramsay and roar at people and make them cry!? Won't that be great? People lap that type of thing up. Well most people, I prefer The Hairy Bakers with their soppy love of a nice pie and a well risen sponge. I like all the laughing and being lovely and treating people with respect. I'm clearly completely mad.

Darnell doesn't deserve to win. Darnell should have been removed weeks ago, in my opinion. Firstly by Big Brother for his weird and unruly behaviour and secondly by the public for his ever-lasting tedious displays of self-pity. Darnell is a worrying illustration of the effect on kids of watching too much garbage reality TV.

Darnell speaks like he is permanently filming a sound-bite for a fly on the wall documentary about himself. His entire conversation pivots around 'How he feels right now' which is usually 'Rock Bottom' but he knows that he can 'Be a Better Man' if he can just 'Turn this **** around'. It doesn't matter that it's 9am in the morning and he's only having a cup of coffee and no-one is even talking to him. Why waste the moment?

Darnell's supporters are a bit weird. They send me clanking text speak messages saying that 'We shd respect Darnel cuz he is Bein Tru 2 himslf!!! He is keepin it reel and that iz all u can do. Leve him alun!!' But what is being true to himself about? Darnell's biggest problem is that he is an incessant moaner and he is thoroughly absorbed with himself 100% of the time all day long.

'Man I'm at rock bottom,' Darnell was wittering on again this week while lying in a nice soapy bubble bath waiting for his dinner to be cooked, 'I'm gonna leave this house a worse man. And a better man too. Cos I've been to the edge and I'm coming back and I can't take this no more.'

Crikey, that is rock bottom Darnell. Those towels you're drying yourself with aren't very fluffy and it's chips for dinner and the house is getting low on ketchup. It's been the best of times, it's definitely been the worst of times too. Soon after poor rock bottom Darnell and Sara were cuddled up with each other on the sofa excavating each others ear wax with their mouths and fingers again.

Grace drops some funny bombs...

Of course, Sara argue that she wasn't getting off with Darnell. The only time Sara's face truly lights up is when someone accuses her of getting off with someone so she can bat her lashes and say 'Noooooooooo!? Oh my god?! I waaaaaaaasn't! Was that what it looked like! Oh my God! Nooooooooo'. Boring, boring, boring. Least deserved finalist ever. Famous only for standing in the ashtray smoking fags and incessant flirting with Rex, Darnell, Lisa, Stuart and Dale.

I want Rachel to win. I think she's a lovely, decent person. If Rachel won and could take the cash home and spend it on deserving things and in my mind that would mean the good had conquered all.

Otherwise, I'd be happy to see Mikey get the cash too. Mikey's been funny and annoying and thought-provoking in equal entertaining measures. He's done a lot to influence the perception of blind people in Britain. Mikey loathes being mollycoddled so he'd be proud to know that at times he's been as hatable as everyone else and never ever patronized by the viewers. He was never dead cert to win. He simply stood his ground.

One evening earlier this week it bucketed down over Elstree and Mikey and Rachel went and stood outside on the porch in the garden to watch the rain. Well, Rachel was watching the rain, Mikey was listening. It was a warm evening and they stood together for ages discussing how good rain smelled as it hit the plastic grass and the plants and the memories the smells provoked.

'Oh my gosh, Mikey' Rachel said suddenly, 'I feel sorry for the poor spiders out there.' Mikey looked worried. 'Do you think they'll all get soaked?' he said to her. Mikey's terrified of spiders but ten weeks of living with his insect-rescuing friend Rachel have changed him slightly. 'No, no... I think they'll be ok,' said Rachel sensibly, 'They'll crawl under leaves. They'll use the leaves as umbrellas.' It was a lovely moment of genuine, honest friendship.

Even if things just don't work out the way I want it, they'll still be winners to me.

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Absolutely - this is a TV show hence entertainment - if people are honestly entertained by Rachael why are they watching the show?

I still cant believe Mikey is favorite - he has been defined by Rex, as was Luke by Bex and Sara by Darnell.

I knew Mikey would win in for being blind as everyone else did and looks like this will be true.

Now what are your best bits for the whole season? In no particular order

Alex to Steph - You'll never be ready member I told you!

Mario - I am a facilitator and manager of men/ I dont want to come across as the big I am / Why dont you open your eyes and realise that Mikey's blind

Kat crying when she was evicted

Darnell for sticking up to the whisper club

Mikey being hit on the head when Mo was playing baseball

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I found Rachels rap oddly hilarious. It kind of reminded me of Rachel from Friends attempting to rap to her baby.

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My favourite moment the entire series has been Rex ordering the special tokens.

Yep - they keep showing that clip during the "to vote for Rex" bit.

I did think Darnell's "Strawberry Blonde My Dick" comment was funny tonight. Anyway, my prediction:

5 - Darnell

4 - Sarah

3 - Rachel

2 - Mikey

1 - Rex

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Rex is the best housemate of all time.... apart from when his missus was in there.

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Nah sorry, Rex is a grade A Cunt. He's been good to watch and I'm glad he got to the final as it's great to have a villain. But no way should that spoilt, bullying, smug twat get the endorsement of the British public. No fucking way.

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Nah sorry, Rex is a grade A Cunt. He's been good to watch and I'm glad he got to the final as it's great to have a villain. But no way should that spoilt, bullying, smug twat get the endorsement of the British public. No fucking way.

Totally agree. What a cunt.

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Rex has been good in the same way as someone saying a housemate like Charley from last year was good. He has caused tension and drama in the house and kept things rolling along. He is a massive fucking wanker though who doesent need the money or deserve it. He treats everyone as if their beneath him and enjoyed bullying almost every women in the house including his own girlfriend. He did'nt have the guts to stand up to wankers like Mario and Dale and Spitgate was all about Mo and Darnell fighting his battles for him.

Mikey is'nt a great winner far from it but if its between him and Rex he has to take it.

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Mikey has put up with people being ignorant insensitive cunts for week after week. Is it surpising that he baits people and comes across as a bit bitter?

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Mikey is a cock though. He moans about everything, thinks he is right ALL THE TIME. When someone confronts him he get defensive, i've seen Rex back down and apologies a few times. And you know he thinks what he does in the diary room is AMAZING. Argh, i hate that bloke.

Rex has a great sense of humor. And people who say he bullys Sara needs to listen to Sara. Also did you hear Kat's interview? Saying that rex winds people up for a laugh but the moment he goes to far he makes sure things are alright but you'll never see that.

I just think Rex is the most real person in the house.

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I like Rex a lot, but seriously, he doesn't deserve to win. He is quite a bastard, and at any rate he's rich already. There's no justice if Sara or Mikey win - Sara winning would just be a sympathy vote for an event that's been blown way out of proportion, Mikey is a moaning twat who sees himself as some sort of avenging angel, but in fact just makes snide comments from the sidelines, and would only be winning because he's blind. I'd like to see Darnell win personally, but I suppose that won't happen because of the terrible and unforgiveable crime he committed (that everyone in the house has already forgotten about), so the best I can hope for is that he won't get booed on the way out, that would really mess him up. So I guess that leaves Rachel, who I think would be a deserving winner, actually.

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I just think Rex is the most real person in the house.

Real?! Haha!

Being openly obnoxious to everyone does not make him 'real'. Just a bit of a cunt.

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Hang on now,Mikey doesn't make snide comments from the sidelines, everything that hemay have said behind someones back he has also said to their face. Matter of fact, for all of Kat's 'Rachel is my fwen' bullshit, Mikey is the only person in that house that has stood up for her to Rex.

Which also leads me to my second favourite moment in the series where Mikey told Nicole pretty much what most people in the house and watching it on TV probably thought about her and the only thing that Rex could come up with as a retort was 'oh yeah Mikey....and you're just so.......cool'

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I've watched BBLB 2 days in a row now and theres been no sign of Mrs Potato Head. Have they really got rid of Zoze? Please tell me its true!

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Mikey'll say "I don't like you!" to someone's face, then when questioned further he'll start mumbling quietly so no one can really hear him, and then when questioned further just go "oh, well, OK then."

He's rubbish.

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Mikey is a rude fuck. Saying to someones face that you don't like them may not be two faced. But it is fucking rude. Maybe just maybe that person couldn't give a shit if you like them or not, why should they? You can see that rexs comments are just for a laugh, and the housemates know it. He'd have been nominated by every one every week if they didn't.

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Mikey'll say "I don't like you!" to someone's face, then when questioned further he'll start mumbling quietly so no one can really hear him, and then when questioned further just go "oh, well, OK then."

Like the other day when he confronted and completely nailed Rex and Rex ended up apologizing to everyone, did some soul searching and went to the diary room to explain why he can be such a cunt?

Or when he (as mentioned by Wicked Kitten) told Nicole she was stuck up her own arse? There's countless other times too, Mikey can be a but of a moaner but he does have much more valid points than Rex when bitching about people and it's normally when something gets to boiling point he'll say something. A few people here seem to have a pretty short term memory when it comes to Rex, he's been a nice guy these last couple of days but my God what a cunt before that, not only to Sara but he was relentless in his campaign against Rachel and has been a right cunt to Mikey in the Thriller task.

Anyone who's saying Mikey will win because he is blind hasn't watched the show. Full stop. He never plays the victim enough to do a Pete or Nadia (something Darnell has tried to do) and he's just not innocent enough.

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Mikey is a rude fuck. Saying to someones face that you don't like them may not be two faced. But it is fucking rude. Maybe just maybe that person couldn't give a shit if you like them or not, why should they? You can see that rexs comments are just for a laugh, and the housemates know it. He'd have been nominated by every one every week if they didn't.

He's normally pretty close. But no way are all his comments "just for a laugh" as someone mentioned here, they are normally really close to the bone and vicious but just because you smile when you say it and say "only joking" at the end doesn't make them any less offensive. Honestly, have all these Rex supporters just started watching last week?

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

If an absolute prick like Rex wins Big Brother I really will lose any faith I had in the world.

Also, the whole "fix theory" with Davina meeting his Dad etc. does go quite well with Nicole going in there, they must have known her a bit to get her in there without auditioning etc. And the producers have seemed to favour Rex all the way through, there's been loads of cooking tasks that put him in charge, for instance.

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You can see that Rex' comments are just for a laugh, and the housemates know it.

Do you really believe that? Do you really think that Rex was only joking when he vomited copious amounts of verbal bollocks all over Rachel?

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Real?! Haha!

Being openly obnoxious to everyone does not make him 'real'. Just a bit of a cunt.

I agree with both of you. He's a real cunt.

My two penneth? I agree with Grace, in that Rachel is an honest person who I would like to win. Last night on the live feed when she was tearily staring at a four winged moth, with a winsome grin on her face...happy that he'd come to visit her on her last night in the house. She's just lovely. She'll spend the 100 grand on Ponies, grapes, a holiday to Devon in a caravan with her boyfriend, and give the rest to her Mum.

Rex would just stick it up his nose. Mikey would just stick it to his face.

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Oh man....just caught the rap task. :( I was in painful fits of laughter throughout.

My fiancee had to leave the room when Sara was rapping. She was unable to watch the toe-curling embarrassment.

TV Gold! Darnell's was ace.

Rex or Darnell FTW!

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