GTA:IV Anectdotes thread

[SqueakyG]

Now I've finished the story, and I'm pretty much done with the game (a year of anticipation for 2 intense weeks... it doesn't seem right...) all I can do is amuse myself in the game world.

I'm almost disturbing myself with my desire to kill prostitutes now. I simply have to end the lives of the whores of Bohan. The demon inside me tells me they have to die. I pulled a gun on one of them and she said, "What is that??" I replied -- out loud -- "What's this...? This is what you get for being a whore!" BLAM.

When I've killed one, I like to drive past the others on the street corner where she came from and say: "Hi. Remember me? I took your little friend away a few minutes ago. I'm back... but she's not. Where is she? Oh... maybe she's gone to hell." Then I run over the remaining whores.

I imagine you're all metaphorically taking careful backward steps away from me right now...

[McSpeed]

Spoiler for everyone but those who have already heard about Roman and Malorie's plans, and have been contacted by Bruce on the phone and by e-mail after that:

Finding about Brucies love for threesomes with Roman made me chuckle for minutes

I just love playing this game in style by the way: I wear my Boondock Saints-like suit most of the times (with sunglasses and sneakers), I drive alternative cars (Futo (GT), Sabre GT, Sultan RS and a Vincent for multiple people carriage) and I always change the radio channel to something fitting for the moment. Liberty Rock Radio (Evil Woman) and Radio Broker (Get Innocuous) for cruising, Electro-Choc for most missions and some K109 The Studio for either typical chase moments.

Right combinations at certain moments ensure tiny anecdotes for themselves.

[_dumb_numpty_]

Taking a spin through the stats I notice Roman and I need some 'us' time. I call him up to see if he wants to go for drink. Of course he does! I pick him up in the Comet Brucie just gave me and we go to the bar across the way from the 1st safehouse.

We get drunk and I don't want to lose the car so we pile in. We're steaming so some the cops are onto us straight away. I pop into the pay 'n spray thinking this will get rid of the cops and get us sober. Half correct. The cops are gone (and the drunk-motion blur-camera) but we're still pissed so everywhere we drive they're onto us. This is getting tedious and Roman shows no sign of wanting to go home so I head to the second safehouse. We arrive and I can't save coz I'm 'in a mission'.

Okay, so where do I go? I reckon we should go back to the 1st safehouse but I flip the car on the bridge. The car's on it's side and Roman is telling me how much he likes me and that he's drunk. We're currently surrounded by 3 cop cars and 6 six cops so I'm thinking he hasn't fully grasped the seriousness of our situation. I manage to rock the car over onto it's wheels and we're off again after ploughing through the toll gate (and one of the staff).

I'm a little worried about what to do now coz there's no waypoint or anything and I think I might be stuck in this mission. It was probably this lapse in concentration that sent us off the edge of the East Borough Bridge. We climb out of the car and start swimming over to Dukes. I can't see Roman for a few minutes and the as I turn the camera around I saw him floating, dead in the water. 'You're friend has been injured' flashes up on the screen and then 'Roman' and the 'thumbs up' icon flash up.

I like to think he's looking down from heaven and has forgiven me. What am I going to tell Mallory?

I love this game

EDIT: Just picked him up from the hospital - all is forgiven. In fact he was big enough to not even bring it up.

[Monkeyboy]

Took Dwayne to Honkers to see a few strippers. Went in, walked around for a bit, not bothering with a show. Then decided to have a lapdance with the girl with the black tape over her nipples. Wander around, but she seems to have disappeared. Shrug my shoulders and leave with Dwayne. As we exit through the door and go outside, I bump into the very girl I was going to lapdance with, nearly knocking her over.

Dwayne asks me what I've got against bitches. Then the stripper turns and walks across the car park, away from the strip club, and across the road. The thing is, it's absolutely fucking lashing it down with rain, and here we have this virtually naked woman in a thong and tit tape, seemingly walking home in it. Then the best part... she pulls out an umbrella and puts it up!!

Now, I'm not sure where that umbrella was concealed. Let's just say she must be one very talented lady.

[Exidor]

I had a similar thing early on in the Pink Triangle. I grabbed the shotgun from the manager's office and then wandered back into the club without hiding it. Bouncers went spare and all the girls ran off. I didn't want a fight, so I dodged the bouncers and headed back to the car. Sure enough, all these girls in thongs and bikini tops are just happily wandering off into downtown Bohan, pulling umbrellas from who knows where, and just generally chilling right out.

[deerokus]

Haha, I was racing around Star Junction in a Banshee - all the other racers were in crap family saloons like the Ford Focus clone. Anyway about lap 3 I decide that the black smoke is a sign I'd better change cars, and while haring down a sidestreet I spy a PMP600 stopped at the lights. Jump out, throw the driver out, and while nico slowly gets in I look behind only to see the car in second place bombing it flat-out down the narrow street. He tries to stop, skids, smashes into my new car leaving a horrenodus dent, and the impact of that smashes my new car into my old one, which causes a Pile-up of all the other drivers behind me as I slowly pull away. I couldn't stop laughing.

Similarly, I was on a mission where I had to lose several cars full of pursuing hitmen. Crashed my car at a main junction and all the other cars crashed too. I killed one of the drivers, then grabbed another vehicle. Billiantly, the pile up of cars formed a roadblock which meant I could simply drive slowly away and putrun the pursuers.

[ZOK]

I had a funny one yesterday. Nico was out with Kiki on a second date, and they had just stepped back out of a restaurant. Kiki barely had time to say something along the lines of what a boring time she was having, when they were both smashed into the wall at full pelt by a Consignetti, which was being driven by a rich speed freak whose heart had presumably popped while he was at the wheel.

Amazingly they both survived, and Kiki even remarked that she was really having fun, and they should do it again sometime. Clearly a massive Cronenberg fan.

[larrydavidsanger]

I had a funny one yesterday. Nico was out with Kiki on a second date, and they had just stepped back out of a restaurant. Kiki barely had time to say something along the lines of what a boring time she was having, when they were both smashed into the wall at full pelt by a Consignetti, which was being driven by a rich speed freak whose heart had presumably popped while he was at the wheel.

Amazingly they both survived, and Kiki even remarked that she was really having fun, and they should do it again sometime. Clearly a massive Cronenberg fan.

[FishyFish]

Wrap it Up by Whitey is my new, official "antagonise the police" music in the game. Whenever it comes on, and I'm not in a mission, I seek out police cars and ram them for japes & laffs, and then play games of cat and mouse around the streets and alleyways as they try fruitlessly to apprehend me.

[ilpostino]

Short, but very sweet.

Barrelling down the street in a PMP600, I hit a pedestrian crossing the road. He flies way up the air, flying back whence he came. He's about to land on the cold, hard tarmac when a biker on a Zombie smashes into this guy, punting him neatly into the side of a building.

I was watching this on the rear-view camera, driving away happily and chuckling to myself. In watching something other than the road however, I smashed straight into some building works and off I went, doing the Superman out the windscreen. Deaded.

Great fun though!

[CactuarBill]

Finally got back into the game after not playing it for week or so.

I was in a helicopter and I flew up high, over a river. I wanted to see how high I could go and then jump out of the chopper and land into the water. I decided to go for it and jump, I plummeted into the water and quickly looked up to see if the chopper was going to land on me. The strangest thing was that the helicopter was nowhere in sight.

I climbed up to the nearest road, still stunned to where the chopper had gone. I walked onto the road to see the helicopter landed perfectly on the side of the road. It's back end propellor completely destroyed. Then not too far from the helicopter was a convertible car, with two dead bodies inside, the back end of the car completely destroyed.

I laughed when I realised that the helicopter landed on them, killing them instantly. Then I went up to the car, threw the dead driver out and went speeding through the streets with a dead guy beside me.

[Hass]

Walked out of my apartment just after firing up the game to be confronted with a cop shooting some guy on the street. The guy was dying on the street but the cop was still shooting him and bitch talking him. Classic

[Not Thread Owner]

Walked out of my apartment just after firing up the game to be confronted with a cop shooting some guy on the street. The guy was dying on the street but the cop was still shooting him and bitch talking him. Classic

I did something similar - legged it out of the apartment building straight into a cop who was chasing a "perp", knocking him down. He said something like "I wouldn't a' done that if I were you, boy" then shot me. I tried to run away, and was mown down by a police car, and then shot dead just as I was standing up again.

[SqueakyG]

I was out with Kiki. We stumbled drunk out of a bar and she was all like, "Is this where you get your other sluts drunk? You don't understand Niko, I need you so, so, so, so much!" Then SPLAT -- some driver slams right into her and I get the message: "Kiki has died." I was actually shocked. Her name was still in my stats (with 100%) so I called her on the phone... but her line was disconnected.

Another time I took Kiki out drinking (I just love the things she says when she's drunk), I stumbled down the hole outside the pub that leads to the cellar, and was too drunk to walk up the steps to get out. A few seconds later, Kiki falls down there with me. We're stumbling over each other, unable to walk up steps.

I finished a rampage (not an official one, alas, just me making my own fun) with the perfect helicopter destruction. Police helicopter -- my rocket launcher -- burning helicopter falling right onto the group of police cars in front of me -- huge explosion. Excellent.

[SM47]

I was chilling around Hove Beach and decided to start on some random Russian wideboy. I kept pushing him. And pushing him. And pushing him. And pushing him. Eventually he called me a 'piece of shit' and started throwing punches at me. I slugged him one and ran off up the street. I ran past two cops talking and suddenly they sprang into action, drawing their weapons and ordering the guy to stop trying to attack me. He responded by pulling out a shotgun and started blasting them. They took cover behind a cop car and started firing back. Out of nowhere, three other Russian wideboys ran up the street firing pistols and then two cop cars pulled up and there was an epic shoot out. I waited until the cops had cleared up the last of the russian fellas and then helped myself to their cash and weapons.

[Monkeyboy]

I was out with Kiki. We stumbled drunk out of a bar and she was all like, "Is this where you get your other sluts drunk? You don't understand Niko, I need you so, so, so, so much!" Then SPLAT -- some driver slams right into her and I get the message: "Kiki has died." I was actually shocked. Her name was still in my stats (with 100%) so I called her on the phone... but her line was disconnected.

WTF? Was that real? You didn't have to pick her up from hospital or anything?

[Raane]

Had a lovely death trying to do a jump. It was one of the ones down in between the lanes of a bridge with a footpath below. Rev up the car, decent run up and floor the gas! I'm in a Manana, one of the least sporty cars available in the game, hitting the jump in slowmotion i watch as it inevitably levels into a perfect perpendicular pavement dive. I'm flung unceremoniously through the windshield and bite the footpath. As i'm starting to get up after only losing an 8th of my health the precarious car topples and crushes Niko in one!

The most badass thing i've done so far was on a mission where you've got two cars. One has a target for assassination in and both are full of other shooters backing him up. My best weapon here is the fact that they don't know i'm after him, that and the grenade i'm cooking as i pull up beside him at the lights. I drop it and leaving them no time to accelerate away i floor it and the blast takes out one of the cars and damages the other. Now speeding ahead of the remaining car with bullets flying i pull the handbrake and do a powerslide spin with a machinegun wielding hand out the window waxing their windshield with bullets. Both front denizens of this car are now slouching and the car comes to a halt and the rear doors open. My car now facing towards their car i cook another grenade and just as the final assailants approach the doors i drop it and put the pedal to the metal, glancing back i just see them blasted in opposite directions, one goes into Middle Park and the other piles into a parked truck, setting off the alarm!

Just like the fucking movies!

[robdood]

..which is why it's a 10!

Nothing touches it for this sort of personal adventures!

[toonfool]

Great bit in multiplayer tonight. Cops and Robbers, we're the cops. The boss got in the water early on and swam away, we get into a firefight and I die, because I'm crap. The boss gets further away, but he's slow in the water. Still, we can't get close enough to him as his mates are doing a decent job of keeping us at bay.

A while later, we're not close enough to him and a helicopter is preparing to pick him up, From an island or a boat, I'm not sure which. Our chatter consisted of us basically being resigned to losing this one. Then bam! The helicopter crushes the boss, killing him. Our chatter turned to massive laughs.

[Argh]

Gangster corpses, the must-have accessory to drape over your powerboat:

I was doing a mission where I had to chase down three guys in a boat and kill them, and whilst directly behind their boat in mine, I set it on fire with bursts from my machine gun. Their boat exploded and the bodies were hurled into the air. I ploughed merrily past the blazing wreckage as two of the corpses landed on my boat. One was dangling from the rear, by his legs, his head in the water. The other was spreadeagled on the prow of my power boat.

It took me a good couple of minutes of doing water-jumps and general farting around until I finally managed to make them slide off, down to Davey Jones' Locker.

[Rsdio]

Just had a comical little incident. I was supposed to be picking something up from one of the shops so I went in to meet the guy and could hear a blaring car horn just before the cutscene started, as they talked the camera angle switched so it was facing towards the front of the shop which was when I noticed a taxi, driver slumped over the wheel, veering around on the street. It then took a swift turn, burst through the double doors and into the back wall of the shop, flattening Niko and the NPC in the process. I actually squeeled with delight, it was like some sort of undead ram raid or something.

[Yasdnil]

Was driving one of the bigger trucks and caused a huge pile-up. Cops on the way, and I managed to hi-jack a taxi and got way!! YEAH!!

[Argh]

Was driving one of the bigger trucks and caused a huge pile-up. Cops on the way, and I managed to hi-jack a taxi and got way!! YEAH!!

Ah, but were you trying to hail it?

[Holburn]

Rescued

Roman

last night. Got all the way out the building after killing everyone. Got in the Bobcat and drove away, feeling all smug that I had done it first time. Drove over a red gas cylinder.

Boom.

[Pob]

I'm sure this has happened to other people - after surviving an epic shootout and cop escape with a tiny bit of health left, I call for the paramedic only for the ambulance to come slamming into me, finishing me off in an ironic fashion. I think that's happened to me twice.

[ZOK]

I've not called for an ambulance once in the game. Isn't it easier to get a $20 taxi to Cluckin' Bell for a $1 fill up?

[Harry]

Whenever I call an ambulance, they never heal the wounded so I don't bother anymore.

It's odd that they put a feature in like that for it to not work.

[robdood]

The ambulances come to heal YOU, if you call them, that's why. They randomly turn up by themselves to fix broken NPCs.

[robdood]

I wish the amublance and fire missions were still present. Probably going to be in the DLC though.

I also noticed a massive music venue near star junction last night; blatantly going to be a new place to take dates at some point.

[Puck]

I was a bit disappointed that you can't actually do anything in the club. I enjoyed dancing in SA.

Edit: wrong GTA thread. Sod it.