Nigella's Express Foody thingy

[Hello Goaty ♥]

Well, that was a bit high brow for scum like me wasn't it?

and that Nigella may as well smear cream all over her big tits. The flirty cunt!

[LittleJoe]

Well you don't watch it for the recipes do you?

[Hello Goaty ♥]

I bet Legendary watched it, or at least Sky+ 'ed it.

he's oh so horny for Nigella.

[BlinkyBear]

Pouisson?

Gnocci?

Squid?

Oh yeah Nigella, we all live in Mayfair and have giants tits that cook our wonderful middle class food for us.

The best bit was when she revealed that she makes chicken nuggets and potato wedges to freeze, then cooks them for the kids when she needs them. Funny that-most normal mum's do that, but buy the stuff from Tesco. You should try it Nigella, even less hassle.

Not enough tit shots either.

[Shindig]

She just describes food whilst dipping her hands suggestively into a bowl. Nothing high-brow about that.

[Monkeyboy]

and that Nigella may as well smear cream all over her big tits. The flirty cunt!

Oh yes. She should definitely do us all a favour and just whack her big yummy tits on a platter and say, "Feast on these, boys!"

[Crhis]

Pouisson?

Gnocci?

Squid?

Oh yeah Nigella, we all live in Mayfair and have giants tits that cook our wonderful middle class food for us.

The best bit was when she revealed that she makes chicken nuggets and potato wedges to freeze, then cooks them for the kids when she needs them. Funny that-most normal mum's do that, but buy the stuff from Tesco. You should try it Nigella, even less hassle.

Not enough tit shots either.

Poussin is just a small chicken that you can pick up in Tesco. Gnocchi is just potatoes. And squid middle class? It's under £1 for loads of the stuff and must be the quickest food to cook ever.

So not middle class at all then really.

[Art Vandelay]

Anyone who finds that kind of behaviour attractive is in desperate need of female attention.

[Eats hoops and leaves]

You say that as if that's something to be ashamed of

[noob]

i used to really like nigella, but now? i feel she has this permagrin and looks like shes thinking '££££££' every time she talks or looks at the camera (or 'the people') as she likes to think.

smug cow.

[Hello Goaty ♥]

i used to really like nigella, but now? i feel she has this permagrin and looks like shes thinking '££££££' every time she talks or looks at the camera (or 'the people') as she likes to think.

smug cow.

I concur

[Art Vandelay]

You say that as if that's something to be ashamed of

Whatever breaks your days up!

I just find the idea if the programme cynical - recipes for women, boob ogling and theatrical pouts for the blokes.

[Eats hoops and leaves]

Well I didn't even see it. I just meant the 'starved for attention' thing. My comment would have worked in the pub. Maybe

[Art Vandelay]

I would have laughed in the pub. Let's just call this a dry run.

[boxoctosis]

It was shit. A window into the mad world of a woman divorced from reality.

Here she is cooking 'express' poussin, or rolling in from a night out and needing something quick, so knocking up an 'express' pudding with some stale croissant (isn't it a bind trying to find a use for them?), and a gallon of cream and some eggs.

Only 20 minutes in the oven, after spending 10 minutes making caramel (but don't stir that pan). While anyone else would have scoffed a bag of crisps and fucked off to bed.

And telling us how to defrost a bag of frozen stuff, by taking it out of the freezer in the morning, so it's defrosted when she gets back from a hard day supping wine. Amazing scenes.

Also, why is she forever putting her kids to bed in the middle of the day? Crap.

Truly truly repellent television.

[mchugh]

It was shit. A window into the mad world of a woman divorced from reality.

Here she is cooking 'express' poussin, or rolling in from a night out and needing something quick, so knocking up an 'express' pudding with some stale croissant (isn't it a bind trying to find a use for them?), and a gallon of cream and some eggs.

Only 20 minutes in the oven, after spending 10 minutes making caramel (but don't stir that pan). While anyone else would have scoffed a bag of crisps and fucked off to bed.

And telling us how to defrost a bag of frozen stuff, by taking it out of the freezer in the morning, so it's defrosted when she gets back from a hard day supping wine. Amazing scenes.

Also, why is she forever putting her kids to bed in the middle of the day? Crap.

Truly truly repellent television.

this... although theres something about her...

[merman]

I like Nigella, she's easy on the eye and a very good cook.

But if she came round to my gaff and offered to cook me a roast dinner, and put that poussin on the table with sweet potatoes and watercress salad, I'd be like, OI, LAWSON NO! Your father might have been Chancellor of the Exchequer but that is not a ROAST dinner. Where's the greasy gravy with the congealing lumps of browning? Where's the choice of three vegetables boiled to within an inch of their lives? Where are the Yorkshire puddings? You've served up a disaster!

[Davros sock drawer]

It was shit. A window into the mad world of a woman divorced from reality.

Here she is cooking 'express' poussin, or rolling in from a night out and needing something quick, so knocking up an 'express' pudding with some stale croissant (isn't it a bind trying to find a use for them?), and a gallon of cream and some eggs.

Only 20 minutes in the oven, after spending 10 minutes making caramel (but don't stir that pan). While anyone else would have scoffed a bag of crisps and fucked off to bed.

And telling us how to defrost a bag of frozen stuff, by taking it out of the freezer in the morning, so it's defrosted when she gets back from a hard day supping wine. Amazing scenes.

Also, why is she forever putting her kids to bed in the middle of the day? Crap.

Truly truly repellent television.

I can't leave this post unchallenged.

Yes, most people shovel a bag of crap into their faces, but then again most people are ignorant of what's possible with food, to the point where home cooking in the UK is in a massive culinary crisis.

I'm always cooking after a night out, in fact one of the first things I do after I get home is start rattling the pots and pans. Some of my best meals have been cooked whilst drunk. Just because it seems like an unrealistic lifestyle to you, don't make it necessarily so. She may be rich, and the whole thing may well be staged, but the stuff she's actually advocating is entirely reasonable, and achievable by anybody who doesn't want to be wilfully ignorant.

[ChrisN]

I watched the first couple of minutes and switched off. Her approach to cooking is really off putting. She seems to have so little passion for it any more - her shows are all about how you can get results without actually giving a fuck about it. People like Jamie Oliver and that lass who did Indian Made Easy manage to demonstrate stuff that's quick and easy and still come across as enthusiastic and interested. If I wanted to watch someone making cooking as easy as possible because they find it all a bit of a chore I'd put a mirror in the kitchen.

[Eighthours]

I'm always cooking after a night out, in fact one of the first things I do after I get home is start rattling the pots and pans. Some of my best meals have been cooked whilst drunk.

Ah, the easiest way to burn your house down. Seriously.

[Monkichi 3.0]

Anyone who finds that kind of behaviour attractive is in desperate need of female attention.

Yeah, ironically she is the one thing that makes me not able to watch her shows, because I like what she cooks. I can't stand her faux/desperate flirting. Who are you flirting with love? There's only a camera crew in front of you, and you'd still have no chance if I was in the room anyway. It makes me cringe, it really does. Utter insincere shite. Just knock up some food, tell me how to do it then fuck off home. Feel free to add any interesting stories as long as they're not too self obsessed if you want but don't give me "that look" at the end of it, I'm not interested.

Having said that...

I can't leave this post unchallenged.

Yes, most people shovel a bag of crap into their faces, but then again most people are ignorant of what's possible with food, to the point where home cooking in the UK is in a massive culinary crisis.

I'm always cooking after a night out, in fact one of the first things I do after I get home is start rattling the pots and pans. Some of my best meals have been cooked whilst drunk. Just because it seems like an unrealistic lifestyle to you, don't make it necessarily so. She may be rich, and the whole thing may well be staged, but the stuff she's actually advocating is entirely reasonable, and achievable by anybody who doesn't want to be wilfully ignorant.

I completely agree. People need to start learning to cook and they need to stop relying on processed shit all day long. I really can't understand people who can't cook. You eat every day, it's up there with reading and writing on the list of "things you need to know if you are to be considered an adult". It's not unrealistic to get home from a night out and spend 20 minutes knocking something up. Obviously it depends how hammered you are, but generally for only a few minutes more you can eat something delicious which doesn't contain pig anus.

[Vimster]

Ah, the easiest way to burn your house down. Seriously.

Haha, yes, my dad used to like cooking when he got in from the pub, nearly had the house on fire a couple of times. The crisps are a safer option.

[Davros sock drawer]

You say that, but any food can be dangerous. I injured myself on some porridge last night.

[Sardan]

I loathe Nigella - she is awful. (And I disliked that recent Indian cookery programme becaue I thought the presenter was trying to be like Nigella.)

But there is nothing strange about making chicken nuggets or wedges for your kids rather than buying them from Tescos!

And Davros is right about the state of cooking in the UK. We cook every night (save the night or two a week we eat out) it isn't difficult and it doesn't actually take that long. Last night we had smoked haddock risotto and tonight we are having roated mushrooms with mustard and tarragon. Much much better (taste and health) than any store bought ready meals.

We also cook big batched of things and freeze for later use. What could be easier than that.

It is a complete myth that cooking is difficult, expensive and/or time consuming.

Get yourselves into the Food folder.

What's more it is a lot more fun than watching shit on TV.

But then most people are lazy and stupid and don't mind shovelling high-price, high-additive, low-health, low-taste fodder into their mouths while watching Eastenders/Emmerdale etc.

[Vimster]

Soup, pasta dishes, stirfry, that's my idea of express food .Come on, Nigella.

[meatbin]

Hmmm I was slightly gutted that she ain't quite the eye candy she used to be - something is starting to give... Nice food though, bu not enough concentration on it for my liking.

Agree with the view here that some people should definatly give proper cooking a try, food is the one sure-fire pleasure in life.

[boxoctosis]

I can't leave this post unchallenged.

Yes, most people shovel a bag of crap into their faces, but then again most people are ignorant of what's possible with food, to the point where home cooking in the UK is in a massive culinary crisis.

I'm always cooking after a night out, in fact one of the first things I do after I get home is start rattling the pots and pans. Some of my best meals have been cooked whilst drunk. Just because it seems like an unrealistic lifestyle to you, don't make it necessarily so. She may be rich, and the whole thing may well be staged, but the stuff she's actually advocating is entirely reasonable, and achievable by anybody who doesn't want to be wilfully ignorant.

The fact that people in the UK 'shovel a bag of crap into their faces', as you so snobbishly put it (crisps FFS?) is missing my point, which was solely that the program was misguided batshit mental nonsense.

I don't doubt that making caramel, adding it to some stale croissants etc isn't actually that difficult, but when you're pitching that as 'something quick and easy to do after a night out', I'd say she's off her tits.

I thought the program was awful. There are many many other cooking programs out there that would engage people much better than Nigella's.

Also, she's too fat. Why would you want to cook like her? Eating ready meals is not on, as they're full of shit, but eating like Nigella is good because you're cooking with ingredients? Neither look particularly clever to me.

[meatbin]

I'd say she's off her tits.

That must one big, juicy trip!

Also, she's too fat. Why would you want to cook like her?

[Jug McKenzie]

.

[BlinkyBear]

Poussin is just a small chicken that you can pick up in Tesco. Gnocchi is just potatoes. And squid middle class? It's under £1 for loads of the stuff and must be the quickest food to cook ever.

So not middle class at all then really.

Don't be so desperately condescending. I am well aware of what the food she was cooking is.

My point: that the show is supposed to show people that food can be quick and tasty and it uses the 'working mum' as an example of this. All the working mums (and indeed dads) that I know of wouldn't consider using those food types-it was an detached from normality and smacked of unnecessary showing off.

And squid for less than a pound? I love squid, but there's no way the remotely decent tasting stuff costs that little. It's not expensive, but it's not cheaper than tripe.