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Lessons For History


Spacehost
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So, that's another gen gone. But have we learned the lessons from it? Who will carry the torch that lights the stupid mistakes of the past, and what will this torch be? Well, me, and a list thread, basically. What do you want to see commemorated forever for it's stupidity?

Here's mine:

"Two's company, three requires a Multitap (For PlayStation 2) SCPH-3000H"

Fuck off multitaps, and good riddance. If next time round I need to buy a BlueTooth X-Pander or something to use 8 pads on my Hitachi GamesMaster I'll be raging. People may die.

"One great game a month. And you'd better like it, we aren't releasing another until November"

Nintendo has finally got third-party support- PROPER third party support. The GameCube was a great idea, but c'mon, they courted third parties like a leperous pick-pocket tries to steal your wallet. Nice one with the DS and Wii- variety is the spice of gaming again.

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Not only must all [EA] sports titles have a limited selection and genre of music, they must not be turn-offable.

Fortunately, the Xbox challenged this, and now the 360 has completely removed the problem. I believe the PS3 did the same. Sadly the Wii may still suffer from this, but hopefully it'll be the last system to force me to listen to bad Rawk/Hip-Hop/whatever the nerds at the developers think is most apt for the sport the game is simulating.

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I don't want to do the same bits over and over again, so please give me a checkpoint just before and just after any tricky bits. Rainbow Six Vegas is really pushing it sometimes in this regard. Metroid Prime is a clear offender.

Taking away weapons or other aqcuired items after death isn't a penalty but an instant visit to the 'load game'-screen. So please don't bother with it GTA, look at Saints Row as that does it right. And if you're looking at Saints Row, please steal their combat and on-foot controls too. After all, after everything they stole from you it wouldn't be fair not to return the favour.

Dear EA and Activision. I don't like hiphop. In fact, I can't stand it. Or nu-metal for that matter. Ofcourse I can live with it if the game demands it (Def Jam comes to mind), but please please please let me be able to select some other music when playing your games.

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So, that's another gen gone. But have we learned the lessons from it? Who will carry the torch that lights the stupid mistakes of the past, and what will this torch be? Well, me, and a list thread, basically. What do you want to see commemorated forever for it's stupidity?

Here's mine:

"Two's company, three requires a Multitap (For PlayStation 2) SCPH-3000H"

Fuck off multitaps, and good riddance. If next time round I need to buy a BlueTooth X-Pander or something to use 8 pads on my Hitachi GamesMaster I'll be raging. People may die.

"One great game a month. And you'd better like it, we aren't releasing another until November"

Nintendo has finally got third-party support- PROPER third party support. The GameCube was a great idea, but c'mon, they courted third parties like a leperous pick-pocket tries to steal your wallet. Nice one with the DS and Wii- variety is the spice of gaming again.

Hmmmmmm.

The multitap thing is great EXCEPT that the price of three extra wireless 360/PS3/Wii controllers is actually higher than three Dual Shock 2's and an official multitap (you could save even more money by buying a Joytech multitap for under a tenner). You could buy wired 360 controllers, but again they cost £5 more than a DS2 and there aren't enough USB ports on the console, requiring the purchase of a USB hub.

It's a false economy.

And have you even SEEN a Wii release list for 2007?

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I believe wireless power is feasible and working in some situations, but currently (arf!) it's limited to very short ranges and low amounts, and scaled up it presents (or would present, I don't know if it can be scaled up at the moment) certain easily imaginable health risks.

Anyway, you know what's the new unskippable cutscene? The poorly placed checkpoint, as seen in Gears of War and Red Steel. Don't ever send me back to the start of a long and dull conversation when I die. Isn't dying punishment enough? And of course those conversations are generally unskippable because they're in-game rather than a cutscene. It's as if they're searching for annoyance loopholes.

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Sticking points - a whole world of no. It happened with Burnout 3's Lakeside Grand Prix, and it happened with Black's Gulag (cheers, Criterion.) Rubberband things. Offer alternative challenges. Make challenges piss easy but penalise my ranking because I got injured lots. Leave the harder stuff for the higher difficulties - I appreciate that there will always be better players than me. Let me customise the game to within an inch of it's life - give me scalable options for traffic, damage, speed, time/health penalties. Just give me an experience I can enjoy from start to finish; I can do this with music, films, TV, sports, boardgames and cardgames - why not the videogame medium?

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Taking away weapons or other aqcuired items after death isn't a penalty but an instant visit to the 'load game'-screen. So please don't bother with it GTA, look at Saints Row as that does it right. And if you're looking at Saints Row, please steal their combat and on-foot controls too. After all, after everything they stole from you it wouldn't be fair not to return the favour.

How does Saints Row differ from GTA in these areas?

I don't know about anyone else but I love it when you get near the end of a game and it makes you fight all the previous bosses again. One after another. With no save points in between.

Which game is this?

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And if it's a half-hour ending after a three-hour boss fight... PAUSE BUTTON PLEASE. We all have bladders, except FMV directors.

I remember Edge once proposing the perfect solution: one press of the button pauses the cutscene and brings up a menu asking whether you want to continue or skip the scene. Maybe in the past there could have been problems overlaying such a menu on top of FMV (I don't know, just speculating), but most cutscenes take place in-engine anyway, so if the normal gameplay can be paused to display a menu, why can't the same happen in cutscenes? I suppose things like that just aren't considered priorities, even though they can make the difference between a player seeing a game through to its conclusion, or abandoning it through frustration.
Which game is this?
Viewtiful Joe?
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