Games you thought you'd like and you didn't

[biglime]

Wind Waker.

Devoid of challenge, and what's worse, devoid of charm.

[gingerling]

SoC I just don't like it. To fiddly.

I am prob just shit but I couldnt kill 1st boss only tried twice like.

[supermonkey]

The monkey in the ball then behaves exactly as if he were a ball bearing in one of those tilty puzzle games.

If you tilt it a lot and let go the monkey will keep rolling as he has built up some speed. If it were the same as controlling the monkey the monkey would stop. It doesn't.

You have no control over the monkey. You only control the floor. The monkey just rolls around the level in a fashion consistent with the games physics. Dependent on the gradient of the surface he is on and the amount you have tilted the level.

Did you never have one of thesde as a child?

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:Hl...wtilt/tilt7.jpg

Edit : Referring to the super monkey ball quote on the previous page

[Treble]

But I would have to say Collosus for me. I just found it a mean spirited, nasty little game. Once you get over the wow! factor of each collosi, you realise that behind all its art house pretensions there really is very little depth to the whole thing.

Shame, because Ico was fantabulous.

Correctamundo. SotC is the most outstanding case of the Emporer's-New-Clothes-in-gaming-form I've seen since Shenmue.

Oh, yeah, I also hate Shenmue. If you want a reality simulator, make the conversations interesting and the emotional interaction poignant. A man who lost his Father - who he loved dearly - would be distraught and driven, not wandering around buying capsule toys, spouting monosyllabic inanities and ignoring the sexual advances of attractive women wishing to comfort him. Unless he was gay, in which case grow the fuck up and write dialogue for a gay character, you immature cretins.

[squirtle]

He's asexual, man, asexual.

[therev]

Metroid Prime - Lovely controls and general gameplay... BUT aimless wandering and stupidly placed save points made it rubbish.

Fallout - Aimless wandering, annoying combat and levels of brown that should be illegal under the the Geneva Convention.

Burnout 3 - Was convinced by Burnout 2 and the demo that this would be the greatest game ever. Or the greatest Burnout game, anyway. But Crash mode was broken, the game got far too hard and the interface was so bad and made so little sense that it made me want to go to the Criterion offices and make them tell me exactly what the fuck they were thinking. I did get a good few hours of pleasure out of the game before it annoyed me too much and I started hating it, but I struggle to remember that fact given how much I hate the stuff I hate about it.

[Jolly]

Fahrenheit. Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Awful Game

But the prevews, reviews and demo all told me it would be amazing.

Can I get a amen brother!?

And I'd also like to add myself to the Viewtiful Joe list-o-hate. I played it for three hours or so with a fake smile plastered across my face in a desperate attempt to try and "get" the alleged brilliance. Once I got to the rhino boss I was convinced I'd get the same result playing with my hands than I would simply sticking the pad on the floor and jumping up and down on it.

And Shenmues balls un'all.

[PugFugly]

The monkey in the ball then behaves exactly as if he were a ball bearing in one of those tilty puzzle games.

If you tilt it a lot and let go the monkey will keep rolling as he has built up some speed. If it were the same as controlling the monkey the monkey would stop. It doesn't.

You have no control over the monkey. You only control the floor. The monkey just rolls around the level in a fashion consistent with the games physics. Dependent on the gradient of the surface he is on and the amount you have tilted the level.

Did you never have one of thesde as a child?

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:Hl...wtilt/tilt7.jpg

Edit : Referring to the super monkey ball quote on the previous page

Whatever. I push forward the monkey goes foward. If there's a slope, he rolls down it. If I want him to go up a slope, I push towards the slope - he goes up it. If it's steep I have to push further. Etc.. You have full control over the monkey. Wether it's because the level tilts, or because the ball rolls in reaction to the stick, there is no difference in the end result. I've always played the game as if I'm controlling the monkey.

[Rowan Morrison]

Ico.

I came for the platforming, I left because of the abysmal combat. I just couldn't get over the utter shitness of it - it clouded everything I loved about the game.

And again. In fact, I got Ico again on the Colossus rerelease, because I gave up on it the first time as a result of the combat. I haven't even bothered booting it up yet and I don't know if I will. It'd be nice to revisit the windmill and so on, but I just know the combat will break my heart again.

I don't buy the "you're a little boy, it's supposed to feel frustrating" angle, either. I'm playing a game, it's supposed to be enjoyble. Like the joyful exploration is. Gah! You bastards!

I can't see myself going back to Colossus, either, having done the first two. Or was it three? I can't remember. I rather think Oblivion is the nail in its coffin, for me...

[Treble]

I watched The Wicker Man last night.

You're the chick! The one who's Rosie in Eastenders? Are you a chick in real life...? I'm all confused...

[Rowan Morrison]

I watched The Wicker Man last night.

You're the chick! The one who's Rosie in Eastenders? Are you a chick in real life...? I'm all confused...

I just looked up that Eastenders connection on IMDB. Good god! Now I'm confused.

[will2097]

Shenmue can be incrediably tedius.....

You do spend most of the game waiting or doing mundane things

Although I did enjoy Shenmue - the part in Shenmue II where you play a fork truck driver? PLAY?!!? FUCKING PLAY?!!!? I drove a fork lift to pay for my time at Uni - every fucking christmas, easter and summer for 3 years and 'play' is not something I associate with fork truck driving.

WTF

Will

[Looper]

There's loads, most of which have been mentioned by others.

FF7 - Dull. Dull. Dull.

Viewiful Joe - Didn't get the 'slow time' mechanism.

Bangio - 'What the fuck is happening?' is all that was going through my head.

Shenmue - Dear God. I didn't think there could be anything more dull then FF7.

Jet Force Gemini - I still don't understand why I don't like this. Just never clicked.

Diddy Kong Racing - It's impossible to control!

There are plenty others where I can see the greatness, but I personally can't get on with like Gitaroo Man, Ikaruga, Toca Touring Cars and pretty much all the DDR games.

[Liquid Myth]

KOTOR. I don't care what anybody says, it's a fucking pile of shite. I spent wasted 20 hours trying to fool myself into liking it (12 hours taken up by some of the worst dialogue I've ever had the misfortune to sit through), but if an RPG can't even get the story right (you have amnesia! LOL! And yes, I already know what happens), then fuck it all to hell.

Also, PN03. 10 minutes of frustrating flippy bollocks didn't help it one bit.

[PugFugly]

Bangio - 'What the fuck is happening?' is all that was going through my head.

Here's a clue. You're a robot, you shoot the bad robots. That's basically it!

[will2097]

Metal Gear Solid II.

The first game was brilliant and filled my sleepless hours with echos of "SNAKE!!!" but the second one was complete shit. I hated Snakes new mullet, I hated Raiden and the aweful shroud of secrecy that was behind him, I hated the lack of any action and gameplay. I hated just walking intoa room and a twnty minute cutscene runs on and on. I hated the desperate and overdone plot twists. Worse than an M. Night Shamalamadingdong movie. If you enjoyed this game, then enjoy Ashton Kutcher films and Kiss albums because you are a slave to hype.

I hear you brother - I bought every mag, with every demo, with every preview, review, hint, whisper, sneak peak, sweat droplet from Kojima's arse waiting for Metal Gear Solid 2 - To get the opportunity to play Raiden? Fucking Raiden? Who the hell is Raiden? It was like turning up to see a Batman movie to discover that Batman is in it for 2 minutes and the following 1hour 58minutes will focus on the life and fucking times of David Bellamy. WHAT THE FUCK. To top off this let-the-developers-creative-gene-kick-the-player-in-the-nuts-athon the end was just plain fucked up. Ooooh it's a game - ooooh it's not a game - Ooooh it's a game FUCK RIGHT OFF. Is it ART? IS IT? Who the fuck cares? I notice in MGS4 Snake gets to be an OAP too - oooh I can't wait.

... ahem - I'd forgotten about MGS2.

Will

[therearerules]

Whatever. I push forward the monkey goes foward. If there's a slope, he rolls down it. If I want him to go up a slope, I push towards the slope - he goes up it. If it's steep I have to push further. Etc.. You have full control over the monkey. Wether it's because the level tilts, or because the ball rolls in reaction to the stick, there is no difference in the end result. I've always played the game as if I'm controlling the monkey.

Whenever your monkey leaves the floor the difference should hit you square between the eyes, even if before then it appears to make little difference.

[Cosmic_Guru]

Ok time to shoot down some sacred cows:

Games I expected to like based on reviews, forum love-ins etc:

ICO – mixing the combat with exploration just messed it up for me somehow

SOTC (demo) – dingy and dull with awkward bits of climbing

Games I expected to like based on the fact I like other games in the same genre:

Final Fantasy VII – it’s particularly hard to put a finger on why this should be – I generally like JRPGS and have completed 3 this year (Wild Arms 3, Shadow Hearts Covenant and Star Ocean 3). Got to the part where there is a multi story office building and no further. Its not a graphical issue with this other than navigating within screens which can be awkward. Dunno, just not inspired.

Prince of Persia series – love Ninja Gaiden so why does this fail? One move in particular I could not get to grips with – climbing up chimneys, but it goes deeper than that. Generally unsatisfying so abandoned.

Metal Gear series – love Splinter Cell, dislike this (from first two games). Why? Its all been said before – too many cut scenes (when you are indifferent to the story), so so graphics, less immersion somehow.

Games I expected to like based on liking earlier games in the series:

Burnout 4 – Burnt out basically

Rainbow 6 the last one – uninspiring, dumbed down.

On the other hand, games I would defend to the hilt on this forum include Fahrenheit, Shemue, Ominkron and to a large extent Call of Cthulhu.

So there!

[ryodi]

Burnout 3. Cars unlocked for just switching the game on it seemed, handling broken, crash junctions ruined, soundtrack appalling. After the wonders of Burnout 2 playing Burnout 3 swore me off the series forever.

[Don Rosco]

Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga

EVERYONE raved about this, but I couldn't get with the RPG bits. Turn-based combat can go ask me hoop, unless its advance wars.

[kev]

metroid prime. i'm really quite surprised i didn't like it, because i like almost anything. but it was just boring. mind you, i only played the first two levels, i've been told it gets better. maybe i'll try again one day.

[Hawkeye]

A fair number of games this gen I've went into hyped up for and came out feeling empty. These include:

ICO - Awful combat, with medicore platforming and puzzles.

SOTC - It's hardly even a game. A number of boring boss fights with poorly implemented controls and acres to cover to get to each one with nothing to do inbetween.

I can understand why people would love the artistic angle of these games, but I really don't understand why they are so loved as the gameplay is hideous in both.

Shenmue - I was well hyped for this, but I think this sort of game sounds better in theory than it actually is ever going to be. Probably the most boring game I've ever played.

REZ - - Another for the looks pretty but plays like a dog list.

MGS2 - The reason I bought a PS2 at launch. This game was going to be worth £300+ alone. Sadly it was an overblown pile of shite. Started off well enough, but the Shell must be one of the most boring design/playgrounds ever committed to DVD. Add to that the whole Rose/love story gibberish that would drive any man insane and the game was a huge letdown. This game single handedly managed to ruin my love of this franchise. I bought MGS3 hoping it would re-ignite my passion for it, but the bad memories of MG2 have put me off even starting it.

Splinter Cell (series) - Sopund like it was everything MGS2 should have been, but what I found was the most unplayable fustrating mess of game that was controller shattering in it's shit-ness.

Fable - I was hoping for something Zelda like. It wasn't.

metroid prime. i'm really quite surprised i didn't like it, because i like almost anything. but it was just boring. mind you, i only played the first two levels, i've been told it gets better. maybe i'll try again one day.

Levels?

[Mr Spew]

metroid prime. i'm really quite surprised i didn't like it, because i like almost anything. but it was just boring. mind you, i only played the first two levels, i've been told it gets better. maybe i'll try again one day.

Yeah, I agree with that - it was boring, the backtracking annoyed me, and it didn't look great (the style made it look a bit arse, nothing to do with polygons and effects being pushed).

[kamaran]

Perfect Dark Zero

[Boutros]

I bought Zelda: The Wind Waker on release day, thought I'd love the game as people were praising it from all angles and bumming it like mad. The end? Boring, repetitive shall game that annoyed the hell out of me and gave me no reason to keep playing.

o/\o

Indeed a crap game. I was really looking forward to this one. Planned an entire weekend with Napole0n to play this, looked at eachother about 2 hours in, saw eachother's expressions of disgust and decided to play Ace Combat 4 instead.

[Afternoon Delight]

Wind Waker.

Devoid of challenge, and what's worse, devoid of charm.

Yes I was very disappointed. Lovely graphics but horribly charmless in all other areas I thought.

I'm sort of relieved to see the news of the delay of Twilight Princess. A delayed game may be good, but a bad game is bad forever.

[Mr Spew]

Group hug?

[edargyle]

MGS II - I want to play a game not sit through hours of badly written dialogue. One of the best examples of how computer games stories can be soooo embarrassing and make you want to hide the fact that you play games from other people.

FF7 - hmm see above + hugely annoying random battles + cliché, cheesy story. (Lovely FMV though) Put me off RPG until Oblivion. I have heard that people actually cried during FF7 when a specific character died!!!!! Oh dear........

Metroid Prime - loved the first 4-5 hours or so. Played until completing the big rock man boss and then it seemed just to backtrack all the time and I never had the desire to see any further. Lovely graphics and environment but a bit meh for me.

Fable - yawn

F-Zero for GC - Really bought due to RLLMUK recommendations and it was cheap, to be honest just haven’t played it very much. Looked lovely but the controls felt to lightweight.

Am distraught by the number of people who didn't like WindWaker, its one of my favs from my GC. Shows how subjective games can be eh?

[Earth]

Final Fantasy XI

Now add to the fact I haven't played any games in the FF series, the popularity in this game online scares me.

No proper tutorial

Big confusing cities (Bastok) that take 10-20mins to get from one place to another

Literally wants you to spend 20-30 hours leveling up killing worms

Forces you to group with others ( yes the point of the game relys on this but still takes ages to find a good group )

Played the first 5 missions, bordom hell

I didn't play beyond the 1 month free trail, but I downloaded the 360 beta just for one more chance. It looks prettier then the PC version, but thats about it. Yet thousands of people play this game.

Give me PSO instead.

[kev]

Levels?

well, what would you call them? there was a bit on some sort of spaceship, then a break, then a bit on a planet. different areas separated by a break in the gameplay. i call them levels. i thought everyone did