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It's time for the good Olympics. That time where men and women hurl themselves down mountains at insane speeds while a chunk of this nation get horribly addicted to curling. Due to time zones, most of the events happen overnight, but you should catch things in the morning up to about midday. Elise Christie begins qualifying in the short track speedskating at 10.44am tomorrow. Nice opening ceremony. Not a lot of bombast, but quite subtle and clever. And amazing use of technology. Fire penis!