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Art Vandelay

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Everything posted by Art Vandelay

  1. It's certainly not a film that is easy to explain why it's amusing. To be perfectly honest I don't know why I like it. The ubsurdity of the characters for one I suppose, also the dialogue is completely out of the left field which appeals to me. I'd stick with it however, at least until the end. It goes get better on repeat viewings, but if you hate it the first time I'd expect this is unlikely.
  2. Dodgeball is endlessly forgettable. It's a stupid, low rent Baseketball with most of the funny bits removed. I do love Anchorman, but it's getting what is known as the 'Austin Powers Effect' over me - the more people quote the lines and dribble on relentlessly about it, the less I begin like it.
  3. The fence jumping was simply brilliant, it's been a long time since I lozzled my schnozzle at a trailer. The school one literally made my nipples explode off my chest with all the action. I'll take two!
  4. I thought the pacing was excellent. The staccato nature of it was really interesting, and certainly kept the tension at incredibly high levels throughout. I couldn't fault the script either, it was tailored for Nicholson, but I don't think that is a bad thing. It's the kind of performance Jack does in his sleep - the rat imitation for instance was inspired. What other actor could get away with that and still look like a gang land leader? Very few I'd wager. The way the dialogue depicting all the glamour and control of the scenarios was puncuated with some incredibly brutal violence was terrific too. A very strong film indeed.
  5. It's just the visualiser thing on the media blade. I say 'just' but frankly for months it was one of the most compelling reasons to own a 360. If you just wack a CD in and have it on like in Media Player, you'll ignore it and never use it again. However, if you close the curtains, lose the lights and stare off into the middle distance whilst listening to some music you're supposed to enjoy whilst on drugs, you'll fucking love it. Its certainly got the 'magic eye effect'. One minute you're staring at a random assortment of squiggly lines and bright colours, the next you're swooping through a tunnel as the bass lines throbs in the background, man.
  6. Some more Sunday afternoon treats. They used to laugh at me, b-b-b-but I saw the future. The perfect fusion of Lil' Louis, Masters at Work and Dimitri from Paris here. I need a new dance beat! Lil' Louis - New Dance Beat (D'Extended Edit) Who likes synthetic trumpets? Everyone, that's who. Enjoy this charming house groove that's straight outta Brixton. Really nice breakdown in the middle too about letting the sun shine, which I for one always enjoy. Neon Heights - Listen to the Music (Magik Johnson Mix) Danny Krivit likes his gruff women apparently, and this lady sounds like she's a pipe smoker with a penchant for rough shag. The re-release of some of their best material is out now on Soul Jazz records, and might I say it's fantastic stuff. It's also a nice collection as they never bothered to release albums for some reason, so it's a thrifty way of getting your filthy mits on some stone cold £100 records. The Sisters Love - Give Me Your Love
  7. Those new Red Steel screenshots look easily as 'next gen' as anything I've seen so far.
  8. Staggeringly incorrect. It's not a great film by any stretch of the imagination, but that is certainly not a critisism you can level at it. Frankly I'm amazed you did.
  9. Bugger, didn't notice that. I'll see what I can do. This is J*S*T*A*R*S' Myspace page, which might be a good start. Thanks for the upload, great stuff. Sunday morning music.
  10. I like the fact that they've got the two polars in black comedy; the funniest black person of all time, and Lenny Henry.
  11. Evening gang! After a heavy night on the loud mouth soup, I like to nurse my aching head by rifling through my vinyl collection and hand picking the tastiest joints to ease my pain. Luckily for you, I decided to stick a few on CD and upload them to the internet. First up a total powerhouse of funk. Harking from the hotbed of soul that is Hull, J*S*T*A*R*S have certainly captured the dirtiness of living oop North. Sleezy stuff fo' sho'. They have an album out soon which should certainly be pleasing if this is anything to go by. J*S*T*A*R*S - Tripping the Light Fantastic Sacré bleu! Grab a baguette, don your stripey jumper and beret and spaz out on a bicycle to this. It's a French harlot uttering breathy sweet nothings in your ear in a smokey Parisian jazz cafe as Louie Vega spins the tunes in the corner. Triomphal! DJ Gregory - Elle (Criola Remix) Pete Heller's Big Love famously lifted the chorus of this for their joyous 1999 hit, 'Big Love', but amazingly the original is better. This is the 7" version, and it sounds like its been on heavy rotation since its release, but it's still pretty special so ignore all the cracks and clicks and enjoy the ripping guitar solo near the end. Stargard - Wear it Out "Yeeeeah, Black Science have got it goin' awwn. " Indeed they have my man, indeed they have. One of the tracks that propelled all round good egg, Ashley Beedle into superstardom. Smooth as ice and will make your toungue stick to the 12" if you licked it. Probably. Black Science Orchestra - New Jersey Deep For those of you who like their beatboxing and scibbedy bit bat bops, I present Foremost Poets. Absurdly over the top funk masquerading as house. Put your leg on my shoulder. Foremost Poets - Open Season And finally taking the thread full circle, a delightful re-rub of the very first tune posted. Edit masters, Moxie have spliced and diced it up so the pleasure goes on twice as long now. Easily. Hazy disco pops have been kept intact mercifully. The Undisputed Thruth - Sandman (Moxie Re-Edit)
  12. Something like 'Arrested Development' or 'Blackadder', although being set in 'real life' are so obsurdly surreal you can take any liberties with the script with a pinch of salt; it doesn't impede your enjoyment of the programme, and actually probably increases it. Where Extras 2 has failed is it never decided on where they are going to set the tone for this series. You could probably get away with something as contrived as his friend showing up unexpectedly on 'Arrested Development', but Extras 2 wants to be fairly grounded, so it doesn't work. None of the characters are weird enough to pull this type of comedy off, they are instead so socially defective that any laughs gained are at the woefully stilted scenarios they find themselves in with the worst possible intentions.
  13. I was trying to think of a sitcom where you are supposed to hate the main character, and frankly I drew a blank. There's anti-heroes sure, but someone who is just such a complete sarcastic know-it-all with varying degrees of mental instability? Not in my lifetime.
  14. That was staggeringly bad. It really pains me to see a slump like this, the last 5 minutes was hard to watch as I was so embarrassed for all concerned. It would be different if the series had its peaks and troughs, but it has been so beige throughout it really compounds the problems it's having. It would actually make a pleasing game show format - show a team of 3 people the first 5 minutes of Extras and get them to tell you what happens next. That's it's chief problem, the glaring predictability. Coming a close second would be that dramitically, Extras is woeful. I couldn't give a shiney shite about any of the characters, the scenes are stuck together incredibly loosely and there is a terrible sense that they don't really know what tone they would like this programme to be.
  15. Here's a stone cold groove for y'all. The canny amongst you will recognise this as the theme to Sandford and Son, so I generally like to imagine Quincy dressed up like a vagrant in a rag 'n' bone man's yard, with his band of tramps jammin' on a bass made from an old broom handle and some discarded twine, a toilet seat tom drum, a guitar fashioned from a Flora tub and elastic bands and a dusty harmonica that belonged to a man with hepatitis. Quincy Jones - The Streetbeater
  16. I fear that answering something that looks like a remote control as if it were a telephone may be the final straw to getting packed off to the nut house if I were ever to be caught. "But it's the game! It's talking to me! I need to kill one of my friends! WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!"
  17. I thought it was as weak as water.
  18. I've always found it's best to keep these games locked up in my mind, misted by time. Playing Chip 'n' Dale just now has broken a part of me I don't think I'll ever get back.
  19. I don't condone rape, or even the more horrible crime of making silly images on Photoshop, but this did make me laugh. I think it's the tears coming out of the air vents.
  20. I think that Jay-Z tune proves the theory that a sleezy saxaphone will improve any tune by at least 10 fold.
  21. It's on again, and more disturbing than ever.
  22. I half expected to see Sonic engraved into the side of a cliff face.
  23. Art Vandelay


    Good grief, those goals were astounding. He's nearly as quick as me!
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