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Everything posted by blandishment

  1. GamesTM preview/review template. This is the *th game in the series and the franchise is now looking ****. We've played the game extensively and we think it's *****. The visuals in particular are **** and the AI is the **** we've ever seen. Make no mistake this game is really *****. What we liked about the game is ****, *****, *****. What we didn't like is *****, *****, *****. In conclusion, you must definitely ******* this game. **/10
  2. Maybe enthusiastic readers should start up a GamesTM charity appeal. Or some good writing might help.
  3. Just over 20,000 including 1,200 subscribers. That's quite bad, isn't it? This information can be found on the ABC website BTW. No wonder they were hiding the figures for so long.
  4. The sad thing is that it's not even shocking anymore for such a shit-slathered rag to win an award. OPSM2 has no relevance. I'm bemused as to who buys it and surely Sony are going to hand over the licence to someone else. Like Paul Raymond Publications.
  5. blandishment


    Sorry, I should have made myself clearer. I mean it isn't underrated as Edge gave it 7/10, which seems about right to me. I liked the fact it almost damaged my wrist.
  6. blandishment


    I think it's superb too. Edge described it as Space Invaders in 3D which is pretty spot on. I also think the controls suit the game perfectly - it's all about staying exposed and shooting for as long as you dare, then dodging out of the way at the very last moment. A great twich game that isn't underrated, just misunderstood.
  7. If I'm lost in a big city I ask absolutely everyone in the vicinity for clues and directions. I used to be very shy.
  8. You insensitive cunt. I was orphaned at the age of 7.
  9. I like it. A lot. The reviews don't mention the complexity that arises from the creatures you collect. I haven't finished it yet but every lair can be completed in a number of different ways depending on which creatures you've bought or found along the way. It's a really nice idea. The 'time trial' modes are brilliant too. I think there's definitely a bit of a Rare backlash going on at the moment, which is a shame because Sabre Wulf deserves more credit.
  10. You'd have to be a cack-handed imbecile of a designer to make a lock-on function work worse than the one in GTA III. It's still shit and indescriminate in Everything or Nothing.
  11. I really don't think they are aiming towards a younger demographic. There's been pictures of women with their tits out and lots of shit 'adult' innuendo in the last few months. I'm not saying that younger readers are turned off by this, but the impression I get - and this is hard to assess because the magazine's tone and design is a confusing mess - is that they are attempting to mimic Loaded to some extent. You can see this in the inane speech bubbles that they ripped off from that mag. If you want to aim your mag at kids you go for the enthusiastic exclam tone and vibrant visuals of a mag like GamesMaster, which, incidentally, does that kind of thing really well.
  12. I'm playing the Xbox version. I love the way the lock-on is completely broken and random. I love the way the Bond moments consist of throwing spanners at enemies and getting shot in the process. I love the poor signposting. Do yourself a favour, play some good games to get perspective.
  13. Am I alone? I still think games are incredibly exciting despite the risk averse publishers. GTA III, Halo, Ico, Super Monkey Ball, Rez, Metroid Prime, Knights of the Old Republic, Viewtiful Joe, Animal Crossing. I know these are the old favourites, but we've had some splendid games this last two years. Sure, there was lots of crap as well, but there always has been. Now I just want a bunch of people to make a magazine that reflects my enthusiasm. GamesTM is not it because the writing is bland beyond belief. And the internet? Pah.
  14. But I still think there is a big place in the hearts of gamers for magazines. There's just something intrinsically comforting about holding and leafing through a bound publication, whatever it might be. But the content in games mags nowadays is terrible. Magazines are failing to engender that community spirit that was so seductive in the days of Crash, Zzap and Amiga Power. To name but three. And I really don't think the whole games-were-more-exciting-back-then argument holds any water.
  15. I wonder if even the most casual of readers has got fed up with inflated review scores. I mean, I remember when Driver 2 scored a 10/10 in OPM and I was a bit suspicious. I played the game and it was a 7/10 at best. But they kind of got away with it. But when games like Angel of Darkness score 8/10, well, there's no excuse for that.
  16. Yuk. All I will say is that it's much easier to get a few actors in to provide voice acting and wrap a game up in glossy visuals and nice explosions than building a genuinely entertaining GAME, with well functioning controls and clever design. Bloody hell, don't be deceived by this average pap. And this is not a rant against EA. It can make decent games. This is not one of them.
  17. So, the original OPM has just closed. At its height it was selling 500,000 copies. According to the latest ABC figures OPM2 is currently managing around 180,000. Let's not forget that there are more PS2s in homes now than there were PlayStations approximately three years after the launches of the respective machines. A difference of 320,000 readers? That's a humongous disparity. There are over 10m PS2s in the UK and the official magazine cannot even reach out to two percent of them. I wonder if Future is under the forlorn impression that closing down one mag will grow the market for OPM2.
  18. Now push off grandad.
  19. blandishment

    I Ninja...

    Sell it. A lot of effort has gone into I-Ninja but it's been developed by well meaning if creatively abject individuals. All the levels are as blinkered as Crash Bandicoot and it suffers from the same problem as Ratchet and Clank i.e. all the extra mini-games are piss poor. It constantly surprises me how often people are willing to forgive averageness. That's all it is. The game will be forgotten in two months time, and no one will ever mention it again. Ever.
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