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barkbat

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  1. barkbat

    Rick and Morty

    Jerry learning golf with the Meeseeks or Jerry's perfect day in the simulator (My Man!). Or maybe Jerry's love affair with Gary in the memory parasite episode. It's so hard to choose. Too hard. Jerry is the pinnacle either way.
  2. barkbat

    Resident Evil 2 Remake

    Just did the demo - waited till after midnight, alone, headphones, whiskey. Managed to freak myself out a bit, which was nice. Was a lovely mix of nostalgia and not knowing what the fuck was going on. Absolutely shat myself after the first contact with zombies and if I hadn't found that spray I'd have been toast. Handgun rounds all over the shop. My main complaint was that I kept coming across things, like windows, that demanded I press X only to leave me reading about Matilda my gun for the billionth time. Annoying, especially in a timed demo. Reading this thread, I learn I can put planks of wood over the windows, hence the prompt, but would if fucking kill the programmers at Capcom to just hold off on the prompt to do something with the windows until AFTER I have the planks of wood that interact with them? Or have Leon say a generic line like 'maybe I can block these off with something'. It's not like it's a puzzle or anything. Plus, while I'm moaning, why is the art design so inconsistent. Leon looks phenomenal, and has great facial animation, but the black police officer looks pretty ropey. His mouth moves all weird when he talks. Anyhow, glad Capcom have treated this with sufficient love and attention, though overall this feels like a solid entry rather than something truly beguiling. I still remember playing the Resident Evil 1 remake on the cube and it blowing my fucking mind with its shadow filled beauty. This one just doesn't have the wow factor.
  3. barkbat

    Deadwood

    San Francisco, Cocksucker.
  4. barkbat

    Aladdin - Live Action

    Disgusting. How else will we learn of Jafar's elaborate schemes? And the whole point of parrots is that they talk.
  5. barkbat

    Aladdin - Live Action

    I hope they get the same guy to voice the parrot Iago.
  6. barkbat

    Die Hard

    But it's about the birth of a Christ Figure who upturns the tables of the money men, rejects the temptations of the devil, saves the innocents, all while walking barefoot, and with the backing of a broken John the Baptist figure who is the only one to believe in him. It's the most Christmassy story ever.
  7. So many memories. A great doc. But despite its best efforts - permeated with sadness and confusion about the Valve we have today.
  8. barkbat

    The Apprentice 2018

    Glad to see Kurran is back for the final. I only hope his powers are used for good. In other words, he joins team nut-milk, directs a TV advert where two porn stars sit on deck chairs in an empty car park, and proceeds to sink Camilla's chances like a stone.
  9. barkbat

    The Apprentice 2018

    Kurran didn't do a hell of a lot? Kurran broke his arm, repeatedly told people he could pitch, and then directed a personal reinterpretation of Waiting For Godot on a beach because the idea of advertising a cheap airline offended his sensibilities. Were you even watching the same programs?
  10. barkbat

    What’s Bluepoint remaking next?

    Ghosts n Goblins. No, Dragon's Lair.
  11. barkbat

    The Apprentice 2018

    SIR ALAN SUGAR: Jackie, watching you over the last few weeks, I've realised that going into business with you would likely result in my body being cut up and dissolved in vats of acid in your basement. It is for that reason, with regret, that I say you're fired. [Jackie leaps over the table and starts to claw the skin from Sir Alan's face. Claude rugby tackles her to the ground and holds her still.] JACKIE: Thank you... for the experience... SIR ALAN SUGAR: I don't think... I can see. KAREN: You should have said the thing about the acorns, Sir Alan.
  12. barkbat

    The Apprentice 2018

    Maybe her being a female Patrick Bateman also had something to do with it.
  13. barkbat

    The Apprentice 2018

    Khadija sweating pure adrenaline as she tried to sell a giant non-self-inflating vagina on live television was almost up there with some of Kurran's great confusions. Almost.
  14. As someone who was pleasantly surprised by the first film, I thought this was utter shite. Not only was it an over-stuffed mess of a story that was far more novelistic than it was cinematic, it also ruined all the brilliant poignancy of the two central relationships built up in the last film. Instead it just reboots them like the first film didn't happen, and then dumps them to cover a zillion paper thin characters who just aren't interesting, so who cares who they are related to? And with no characters to root for, the action sequences are even more boring and inconsequential than the last film. It really has completely destroyed my interest in this franchise. I'm actually angry at how badly it squandered the beauty of the first. Only J K Rowling could get away with turning in such an indulgent and convoluted screenplay and then get it made. Fuck knows how long the next one will be. Probably an hour will just be a backstory about who Pick's twig niece is. 1/5
  15. barkbat

    Deadwood

    I'll mark you as a dirt-worshipping heathen from this fucking point forward.
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