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About DirkCrisis

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    Haw of Satan

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  • Interests
    puppies, kittens, depleted uranium shells

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  1. De Niro

    Yeah, probably. But I still like him in Ronin. Well, I like Ronin and he's better than Seen Been in it.
  2. NOS4R2 - TV Series Greenlit

    A few years ago after I'd read the book, I discovered that the number plate NO54 RTU was available for £250 and I didn't buy it. Another thrilling true story in my anthology series - "Things I didn't do". But yeah the book was good although I expect the TV series to be around the level of something like South of Hell.
  3. Hollywood vs. Streaming

    Between fast edits and CG you can really cut your stunt budget down to size. More for marketing!
  4. "In 1986, a young boy was expelled from York for a crime he didn't commit (covering a park bench in curry). Today, still hunted by the authorities he hides in the Canadian underground. If you have a mild interest in what a film might be like but can't even be bothered to find a pirate stream and you can find him, maybe you can hire the Capwn team"
  5. Johnny English Strikes Back

    You'd assume that Rowan Atkinson would have enough Mr Bean money to never have to do another one of these. Obviously not.
  6. These last few (Autofac, Safe & Sound, Kill All Others) seem to have been much more coherent in terms of a story which has a discernable ending rather than something which trails off. Are the original stories tighter or do we think the writers and directors for those last few were given a bit more latitude to re-tool the story so it worked a little better for TV?
  7. A movie watchers blog

    Last night I watched "Eat Locals" which was allegedly made in 2017 but felt like it had been made 5 years ago and left on a shelf. A group of vampires come together in a remote farmhouse to add another to their council. The SAS surround them for some reason and a stand off occurs. Inadvisably, "Zulu" is invoked in case you needed reminding that you're watching something which isn't as good. Weirdly, it has a cast of recognisables: Eve from Torchwood Martha from Dr Who Victor Meldrew's wife Dexter Fletcher from Gamesmaster and DooM Daetak tarr from Defiance McKenzie Crook The one bit of nostalgia which I did applaud was the end title sequence which began with "You have been watching" and felt like a tribute to Hi De Hi, Are You Being Served and the like. Anyway, don't watch this.
  8. A movie watchers blog

    Grand Budapest. Tenenbaums and Life Aquatic really are amazing. i found the Darjeeling Limited to be massively self indulgent and shoe-gaze-y though. And I must admit that I've been put off the notion of Fantastic Mr Fox by some reviews. I should put aside my prejudices and just give it a go I guess.
  9. German film and TV recommendations (subtitled)

    Deutschland 83 possibly? I haven't seen it but hear it is worth a look.
  10. Black mirror - season rllmuk

    Someone tries to make libertarianism work in the real world rather than on the Internet.
  11. Are decades as marked and distinguished now ?

    What is with the sudden appearance of "girl who is stuck in her bedroom because of some weird mcguffin disease which means she can't go outside but then a beautiful boy helps her to go outside because she'd rather live for 5 minutes than die slowly in her bedroom" films? Whilst superheroes and Star Wars seems to be a thing of the 10s these smaller things seem to be inexplicably popular. I assume there's some cynical market analysis going on in the background.
  12. The problem with today's straight to video (or streaming) releases is that there aren't action stars like Wings Hauser or C Thomas Howell to fill those roles. Vin Diesel might have been that guy at one point but he's too big now. I think that is why, whilst Syfy and similar companies are quite proficient at churning out 90 minutes' worth of competent entertainment, they lack a partially recognisable front man/woman. This generation doesn't really have a Gary Daniels or Cynthia Rothrock. Actually, I suppose there's Amy Johnson. But other than that. Not sure.
  13. But there is the worst computer generated safe ever to be committed to celluloid! Still, 5 & 6 are probably the most consistent (even with the aforementioned safe and super long runway).
  14. Kill Command - Near future marines vs robots on a supposed training mission on a non-specific island. I expected it to be terrible and it was. But I did watch it all the way through without being distracted by a second screen so there must be something to it. It isn't as good as that last stand film where they try to re-create Zulu but with aliens (wish I could remember what it was called), but it is marginally better than a straight to Syfy film. Having thought about it some more, I wouldn't recommend it.
  15. I also went to see it at the cinema. They were at least cool in the 80s because they had BMXes. But the wazzocks in Tomb Raider are simply annoying twats who cock up central London with their self obsessed bikefuckery.

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