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Lasers are brilliant

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  1. "Gentlemen. It's logical to watch the entire run of TOS because I am in it, and I am the greatest badass in the entire Star Trek canon."
  2. Yeah, there's still some retro stuff downstairs. Weirdly, a load of PC Engine stuff arrived a couple of months ago, but it's all quite heavily overpriced. For the record, there's PS1, Saturn Jap, Dreamcast, Dreamcast Jap, PCE, PS2 UK JAP US, GC UK US JAP and Xbox there. GBA stuff in the cabinet on the counter (mostly loose carts), sitting with an unboxed AES for £299 and the usual wad of PSP promos. The dude running it these days also has a small selection of NES/SNES/MD stuff from various regions, but you have to ask to see most of it.
  3. I remember recharging health in Saboteur on the Spectrum.
  4. If that new C64 came with some serious emulation helpers, like a couple of 9-pin joystick ports, it would be more worthwhile.
  5. Powerups muddy the water and change the core interactive dynamic, though. Where previously you had the choice of taking the quickest, cleanest line or showboating for kudos, both of which were based in purist car control, Blur chucked in a load of powerups that changes the fundamental nature of the game - and are ultimately childish ideas. 'Mature' racing doesn't need advantage-altering, completely artifical bullshit. It seems Bizarre had a crisis of creativity after PGR3 and thought a step sideways was better. Ultimately, it killed the studio. This was pretty obvious when Bizarre thought the one thing PGR needed was fucking motorbikes instead of, say, expanding its environment to the open-world concept of TDU. The idea of Bizarre getting there first with a huge, open real-world landmass and that sublime handling model makes me just cry and cry and cry. But yeah, to go from "yeah motorbikes in a car series!" to "yeah, powerups in a semi-authentic real-world racer!" is a sign of someone at the top being fucking dumb.
  6. TDU2 is such a clear a victim of *underfunding* and *financial year pressure* from the publisher. It's still fucking ace, mind.
  7. The PCE version is lovely. Those mid-80s Capcom shooters were amazing. 1943 (and Kai) stood out as well, then UN Squadron and Forgotten Worlds and then... nothing. Fucking SF2, innit. "Best" isn't really the right angle for me here. "Most loved" is better - Blazing Star is fucking incredible, as are the Thunderforces and Gradius V, but Salamander will always, always, always have a special place in my heart. The big horns on stage 1! The flares on Stage 3! OMFG. OMFG. OMFG.
  8. The dress-up alone destroys GTA IV. SR2 was perfection until it ran out of clothes. The rest is pure, simple fun. The fact that you're criticising SR2's blatantly piss-taking storyline suggest that you didn't quite 'get it'. Sneer at the toilet humour if you must, but when you're given a minigame titled "quell the prostitute riot with a flamethrower", or have to burn around a college on a flaming quad bike and are scored for setting fire to people, or running around a freeway trying to get hit by speeding trucks to get insurance money, it's hard to deny that there's buckets of fun in SR2 - particularly if you leave your any GTA-influenced pretensions at the door.
  9. BLAKE'S MOTHERFUCKING SEVEN. All of B5's balls come from this.
  10. The best GTA is Saint's Row 2. GTA IV is completely devisive. If you're into interactive design, the possibilities of open game worlds, player authorship of the experience, player authoriship of characterisation, emergent play, improvisational play and emergent entertainment, Saint's Row 2 utterly crushes it and every GTA previously. If you're into mish-mashed, dreary and predictable influences worn on the sleeve, reference-heavy plotting, pretentious narratives and intrusive characterisation, GTA IV wins. If you like raw interactive design and emphasis on the player as the author of their experiences, it's pure emporer's-new-clothes piss. Fundamentally, the interactive design of the series took a major step *backwards* after San Andreas. For my money, both GTA IV was a wasteful bag of utter, utter shit. So much good, solid, mandatory-as-standard game design from other open world games was completely ignored, either out of wilful arrogance that what was there was 'enough', or even worse, to chase down the shitty cul-de-sac of cinematic aspiration.
  11. It's a lot more impressive for its data compression than it is for pushing the C64 chipset. Most of the cool effects are either (relatively) trivial thanks to the his pretty unique approach to fitting the main sample in ~50k, or pre-calculated via big fat table look-ups on a per-sample basis, rather than actual realtime processing of a single audio sample - and data tables were actually generated on a modern PC with a hardcore mathematics package (but took ages to process, fair enough). Like all great demoscene effects, the real genius is making it look like the hardware *appears* to be doing something, rather than it actually doing it. That said, the coding is fucking badass cycle-exact stuff, so the C64's running at optimum. For my money, http://noname.c64.org/csdb/release/?id=72678 is a lot more mindfucking, as it's really not fucking around.
  12. Peter Jones, head of DED, was one of the people behind Rise Of The Robots. This should be all you need to know.
  13. Ahhh I did try a 1.3 disk, but it didn't work. I couldn't tell if it was the disk that was fried or if the 1000 hated it.
  14. It is indeed. I rescued an early one that has 256k RAM onboard, 256k add-on RAM. I've never had it boot properly, as I've never found a physical Kickstart 1.0 (!) disk, but I don't care on account of the beauty of the thing (and the amazingness of the case inscriptions, which I didn't know about when I first opened it up).
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