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  1. Stopharage

    What books did you read in 2019?

    8 down. Finished 84k by Clare North, who also wrote The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August. It's a fairly bleak view of a worryingly plausible future Britain. A massive corporation governs the government; dead end jobs for dead end people abound; communities crumble and become lawless. The 84k relates to the fact that crimes can now be paid off. Killed someone? Well, their role in society dictates how much you'll need to pay to avoid being imprisoned. As much as I enjoyed the plot, the shifting timeline and strange prose became too distracting and ineffective for my sensibilities. A decent plot let down by some strange stylistic choices. Then The Chalk Man by C.J. Tudor. I only bought this as it was talked up by quite a few book reviews last year. It's another book with a fluctuating timeline and is more coherent that in 84k. It's a crime novel with a few macabre elements to it. You can tell it's written by a first-time author as there are some baffling and totally ridiculous plotting issues. There is a revelation towards the end to do with something that has been missing which is so utterly ridiculous that I can't believe it wasn't included for any other reason than for the writer to show how much they can get away with. If you're into dystopian narratives with an air of plausibility to them, then give 84K a go. Some interesting ideas in there. Same can't be said for The Chalk Man.
  2. Stopharage

    Kindle shop Recommendations

    The rather great Into the Woods: How stories work and why we tell them by John Yorke is down to 99p on Amazon. Marketing blurb:- We all love stories. But why do we tell them? And why do all stories function in an eerily similar way? John Yorke, creator of the BBC Writers' Academy, has brought a vast array of drama to British screens. Here he takes us on a journey to the heart of storytelling, revealing that there truly is a unifying shape to narrative forms - one that echoes the fairytale journey into the woods and, like any great art, comes from deep within. From ancient myths to big-budget blockbusters, he gets to the root of the stories that are all around us, every day. It’s a great read. Anyone into story-telling should give it a go.
  3. Stopharage

    Football Thread 2018/19

    They were a great pair and those games were always superb entertainment.
  4. Stopharage

    Football Thread 2018/19

    Utter guff. Steve Walsh marmalized him on a number of occasions. Not sure what the verb means but I’m sure it’s wholly appropriate.
  5. Stopharage

    Football Thread 2018/19

    Messi mundane in comparison? Jesus wept.
  6. Stopharage

    What’s the worst film you have ever seen?

    Sucker Punch. No redeeming features. Snyder at his worst with a lurid, misogynistic piece of trash. Ghastly mess. More recently with the kids, I endured A Wrinkle in Time which was exceedingly dull. We now use it as part of our in-house disciplinary processes. Won't eat your greens? A Wrinkle in Time for 20 minutes.
  7. Stopharage

    Kindle shop Recommendations

    The rather impressive Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton is down to 99p at the moment. Not perfect but a very ambitious book which pretty much delivers. An absolute bargain.
  8. Stopharage

    Football Thread 2018/19

    You have to be a special kind of stupid to post nasty shite like this. But it’s pretty uncomfortable to see others post his address in reply. The court of popular opinion can be a troubling place at times.
  9. Stopharage

    Football Thread 2018/19

    Grealish scores. I hope as part of the assailant’s punishment he has to watch that goal ad infinitum, Clockwork Orange style.
  10. Stopharage

    Football Thread 2018/19

    Imagine if he’d have connected with Grealish’s temple. Could have killed him. The utter prick deserves a custodial sentence.
  11. Stopharage

    Line of Duty (BBC)

    From the makers of The Bodyguard? Let's hope Line of Duty doesn't shit the bed in it's final episode too then.
  12. Stopharage

    The Man Utd Thread

  13. Stopharage

    Football Thread 2018/19

    I despise PSG, and can't stand Neymar. Soulless club. And their appalling playacting in the first leg means I don't have an ounce of sympathy for the feckers. Them, Real and Ramos out before the quarters; great times.
  14. Stopharage

    Football Thread 2018/19

    This is fantastic, shithousery's main man Ramos going bananas in the Real box, whilst to further add to my delight, Ajax's Frankie De Jong is off to Barca in the Summer too.
  15. Stopharage

    Apex Legends - Battle Royale by Respawn Entertainment

    As with many great events in life, this one began with a face-plant. (Map added below is not our flight-path but included so you can get your bearings for our odyssey). My elite squad began on the airship which was going from Slum Lakes towards the swamp. We decided to attempt the carnage of the Supply Ship which was around about the Market and I was the flight leader entrusted with this responsibility. I then proceeded to gracefully direct the squad into the side of the supply ship, rather than onto it and so we plummeted down with to earth. As as a result we ended up in Skull Town. Despite the multitude of rooms, for some reason every gun seemed to be a Mozambique, so we hot-footed it to Thunderdome, where our fortunes began to improve. Venturing over towards the Water Treatment plant, the circle began to shrink towards Thunderdome and the Airbase, so we headed back that way. By this time there were about 5 teams left. We encountered no one. I then made the brave decision to camp out in the small enclave south of the Airbase; plan being to use the balloon/zip line thingamyjig to launch us onto the wall of the Airbase as the circle got nearer. As the member of the squad with the Leroy Jenkins tendencies, the others were happy to curb my aggression and agreed. My transgressions of previous games were fresh in their minds. It was also at this point that we realised that a member of the squad was hitherto unaware that you could destroy the Apex bots for decent loot as he remonstrated with me shooting one. I think his words were ‘leave Metal Mickey alone you twat.’ Anyway, circle comes in, we zipline upwards on the balloon so we can launch ourselves to aerial victory. I put a waypoint on top of the wall nearest the coast. You would think after our disastrous earlier flight that we would screw up again. Well, you’d be right. We landed on the wall and then proceeded to skid right off. Immediate concern was that we were going to plummet into the sea. We landed between the wall and a fence. Seemingly, the other teams hadn’t noticed our Icarus-esque flight success and so we found ourselves in a decent position. The final circle then formed on the small circular structure in front of us. By this time, we were laden with more explosives than Guy Fawkes so the plan was to ‘spaff’ the structure with explosives as soon as the other teams ran for it. Nuanced, sophisticated and decisive. By this stage there were 3 teams left. As the circle began to close, we began to throw our grenades at the baddies. They died in the circle rather than at our hands. The most noble of victories. Conscientious objectors until the end.

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