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  1. Cleopatra made them into a Eunuch to be enslaved to her brother in full public view, which isn't inhumane at all -- actually, an amazing honour and privilege to be hand picked as one of the divine servants of gods, time, space and whatever other planets were observing their incredible self sacrificing majesty - and in order to really impress upon the public that pharoahs are honourable and noble persons, this deal came with an everlasting promise that not only would the cheeky and passionate citizen serve the stars for all eternity, but any and all of their children and grandchildren, like a race of blessed angels, shining beauty and divinity out onto the world. Ah... The closest we have to this at present is Paul Ogrady. Makeup and warrior-face seem to be old Egyptian. Scary to Romans I guess, and suggests they had a phobia of... German bats?
  2. I think the choices you get in decent videogames are less superficial than Instagram, but it's generally how you choose to use things. The original Worms carried on for 8 years due to mods, and the first GTA had some really amazing community maps, which is the sort of thing you could never get in the Spectrum era, because people usually just clone a game like Space Invaders and add some little customised bits and peices - but Grand Theft Auto was more like a sport, such as Cricket or Rugby, meaning you accept the ruleset and system, and then produce something that adds to this. Perhaps more like motorsport tracks? Well it got a lot more extra life from this than pumping 20p coins into Altered Beast anyway. The cutscenes in Ocarina of Time are still very impressive, because they use camera angles and motion that are otherwise impossible with live action, and it doesn't have to blend this with realistic looking actors like most Marvel movies. Final Fantasy 7 is quite interesting because nearly all of the heavily zoomed out views were considered unwatchable by television industry standards, that your gran would need extra glasses or something: Deary, is that the Cloud one? I can see he looks a bit blonde, that's the Snowball leader right sweetheart...? Okay, well he looks a bit thin, do you think he'd like a cake? What? Materia? Well I can do a Madeira cake dear, and we'll just have to tell him it's the same, dutch courage for the menfolk eh works every time *popeye toot*. Fortune and Glory kid.... fortune and glory.... *whip crack* I see. Yeah, in Brazil and various orient countries I believe. It's used to describe games which require you shove a joystick around for up to two hours, equivalent to championship boxing. By the end of Punisher or Streets of Rage your arms stop working most of that day, and you really need several cans of Fanta or Solero ice lollies. For the actual blood-glucose drop and such. You should try the Indy game, running away from giant stone balls or melting Nazi officers in the face.
  3. So you've had enough practice and ready for a real war? This might be more time consuming than the practice and you may need to take a break on all your other hobbies and commitments. And also write a will for your kid. Crikey me lad! Back in my day all we had to unlock were multicoloured Doom doors, and we were happy at that! Digital rationing they called it, and by eck if ya complained the hoardes of hell would pop a cork in your noggin' and it'd be right back to Phobos with yer silly ass. Now do your savestates homework and no speedrun cheating Centurion, Youtube aint been invented yet yer crazy foo child... yes mam. Sounds like Iraq. In Soviet Russia, Triple A title play you! Hmmm..... Centurion twin sister....
  4. You should definitely play Another Code. Edge gave it a crap rating because they didn't bother to complete it, but it's basically a murder mystery LARP. These things are normally very expensive and you pay a bunch of actors and special effects people, not to mention booking an entire hotel for the weekend - £10,000 a weekend wasn't unusual, but NIntendo help to virtualise these things and sell you it for Tesco whole-sale prices.
  5. Kojima requested a £7000 game in which you only get one life, but when I pitched this to my boss he didn't want Konami headhunting our NVQ students for employment in Tokyo. And thus the battle over Hull School of Art and Design was amazingly fierce and bloody, or at least... there was chilli sauce from a hotdog in your lunch break, that spilled on your t-shirt because you were distracted. But OMFG it was England's best ever t-shirt you crazy motherfucker, and we don't have no Fairy washing machine tabs to cleans it till next week. ARGH.
  6. It means I worked at a game company. One that makes profit, pays taxes, hires staff etc. https://www.linkedin.com/company/omerta-game-ltd
  7. EDIT: Ah, there's a similar game to the design document called World's Adrift, but without the sky pirate skeletons... so what's the point in this? Oh and the dark sky zombies, they were ace: don't let them infect the crew or your entire battleship has magic scurvey... nooooo the drools, my controls are fucked... the screen is upside down cure me doc! Doc?! Why noone hire a doc in this shithole, call the boss at vonce yaaaar. What'dy;mean boss has a real job?!1
  8. At about the time Second Life was really popular, and people were apparently getting rich selling virtual dildos (the BBC even reporting on this just the same), I did a design document for Omerta Games for an OpenGL type game based around Skies of Arcadia. The engine dev couldn't be arsed writing an OpenGL app, or didn't want to commit to this... generally people just don't do what I request at all (never have). So - I recall that in order to make it interesting, rich players could put in up to £5000 to comission a ship and then hire, for instance the same sort of players as World of Warcraft - students for instance. They then run a business of sorts getting treasure from flying island dungeons, but in order to minimise the predictability of this economy, it was stated that the central ship port (bit like a government) would pay a fixed price for unopened treasure chests, thus giving people who only funded £600 for their ship a way to reliably 'level grind' their way up to a bigger or more interesting ship over time, and give the tycoon players something to worry about. This wasn't intended to be a replacement for scratchcards or anything, and BTW rich players could easily lose their entire £5000 investment in one giant cannon blast from another similarly funded ship, so it was an interesting soap opera in theory -- there wouldn't be more than 10 of these in the whole game, so each one was a legendary character like Jaws. Dun dun dun dun... Edit: 10 x £5000 = Centurion's proposed Salary at Omerta [minus] Company Profits = £30,000 or so > About the same as Electronic Arts.
  9. Yeah, that's how peeps kept track of Game Workshop armies without going mad - between us all in my town there were many thousands of models for large campaigns. I never had so many videogames that I needed to DB them, but my DVD collection has gotten out of hand. 50p a movie at charity shops.
  10. You reminded me of 18 Wheeler at the arcades. Oh but the best was the Ridge Racer sit in car. Grafix of which were really future in 1994. And you can have your GF sit in the passenger or have scrubs in the back (No Scrubs), and also since the thing doesn't move several punks either sitting on the bonnet or hanging from the back - even like Marty Mcfly pretendeding to skate along the track at 100mph. Value for money anyway.
  11. Played Debate Dude (Dragonquest) for an unknown amount of hours, despite it being button mashing.... except yercan hold the button down from beginning to end. Corporate genius. [ I'm getting really tired of having to type 'Original Dragon Quest' into Googs, because contextual referencing is getting tre cliquey and/or mainly about selling stuff, which was the deal on day one - but they never fixed the adsensei. YOU SUCK GOOGS MORE THEN REDSLIME FKXING SLIMEBALL. ]
  12. Update: Found some real racing wheel photos. They're all giant in the middle because racers have (did have) overly strong arms, usually. Also something related to gear differential torque (big gear little gear cardboard box).
  13. I have the original Sidewinder wheel, which is the closest I've come across to racing equipment. Force-feedback on this is a little bit retro, but it's close to simulating a pimped out Mini Cooper with race-track bits. Fairly sure Microsoft sold these things at a financial loss. Edit: For some reason I can't find a single photo of an F1 cockpit which is real. They've all been modded to look like the console toys, so I guess Darwinian evolution only left us with the Cooper. < forced > Ya mein Furher! Das est Gut. </ forced >
  14. Can anyone tell me how long Nintendo play to run the server for these games? I used to have PetitComputer running on the 3DS and it used 2D barcode storage. Hang on Nintendo imma just ask Admiral Ackbar to check you masterplan.
  15. Not as knowledgeable as this guy. Imma bow down to Freds right now, laters. (you may note while watching this that you actually learn bits of hardware engineering and machine code - it was considered normal that by owning a computer, you would eventually know how the motherboard works, and there were usually areas of the manual explaining nearly everything including the OS ROM - so if you didn't progress from knowing how to plug the rgb cable in, to knowing machine code and how to debug circuit lines in 6 months you were officially some some sort of criminal like the cons in Bird of a Feather and would only ever get a job in organised crime, and live in shame forever. So Fred is quite a nice guy until you 6 months of not being thick is up, in which case he gets shitty that you failed to learn enough - and Fred is the sort of guy who gives you a career job in future or not. meh )
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