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Protocol Penguin

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  1. My opinions: TMP was the only truly “cinematic” looking Trek film until the ‘09 one. (The rest have very mediocre visuals at best, or look like television movies – see TUC in particular.) I mean, they didn’t pull it off, but a big screen, sci-fi epic Trek? You can’t fault their ambitions. The Director’s Edition of TMP from 2001 was an improvement, but the idiots only mastered it in 480i, and it’s only on long out of print DVD. I really like the Pensioners in Space Solve a Scooby Doo Mystery in Space concept of TUC. Needed a bigger budget and more rewrites to nail the idea satisfactorily, but it’s still a good film. (Also, with hindsight it’s a bit too obvious that Valeris was meant to be Saavik.) First Contact is very, very overrated. It’s got action and the Borg and continuity porn and has a ‘cool’ new Enterprise, so people like it even if it not actually good. The visuals are bad and cheap looking too – worse than Generations, which had much better cinematography and lighting. And honestly, Generations feels like TNG in a way the others didn’t, even if it’s a glorified television movie with a guest star who shouldn’t have been written into it (no, not Malcolm McDowell). Insurrection is a worse film, given a recent rewatch, than I previously believed. At heart of the story is an authentically Trek (particularly TNG) structure, a moral dilemma crossed with a historical allegory, but it’s so muddled and half-baked in execution that you wish they hadn’t attempted it. Or had at least bothered to write a coherent plot and character motivations. I wish that an alternative cut with Quark showing up at the end was made available, because it wouldn’t have conceivably made the film much worse. Nemesis would be the worst Trek film if Into Darkness didn’t exist, and tellingly both attempt a TWOK retread (more blatantly and shitterly in Into Darkness, mind). The Enterprise-E is an abomination.
  2. I’d rather they prioritised patching the N64 emulation to be half-decent before adding more games. Personally.
  3. @Colonel Panic seriously, you can stick your flatulent alt-rightish bullshit. I’ve got some of the bits already, just not the DEC board. Sold out everywhere. Don’t want to risk customs charges if I can. Seriously, I don’t know why I even bother asking for info here when all I get is slapped back by spiteful petty little hatenerds like you, high on your own toxic masculinity. It’s like too many of you don’t even want to be anything than guffawing elitists rather than, dunno, sharing constructive advice about a cool emulator box which many here might enjoy.
  4. I’d been trying to get one since September to no avail, sort of given up on the whole idea now, TBH.
  5. Last year I watched Dirty Harry and Cobra for the first time because he’s in both films. Not long into Cobra I realised it was an ‘80s cocaine psychosis remake of Dirty Harry…
  6. Watching part 1. Liked the bits where you see the band briefly swapping instruments, George on drums, John on bass, etc. Rather poignant that the Beatles were inspired to write a song because of growing virulent anti-immigrant feelings in Britain. Plus ça change.
  7. The start of Season 4 is a terrible place for someone unfamiliar with Trek to start a DS9 watch-through, though. They’ll miss out on so many decent episodes, world-building and character moments. Someone who’s watched some DS9 but not seen TNG will also be thrown off by Way of the Warrior focusing so much on a character who shows up out of nowhere too.
  8. Tried showing my girlfriend Darmok, The Inner Light and Yesterday’s Enterprise to show her what TNG was like. Darmok worked best, because the other two episodes are impenetrable unless you’re familiar with the characters and setting, and Darmok is a more concept-based episode (and a really good one).
  9. It’s not good, to be honest – think of a smartphone game ported to the Switch, but sold as a (nearly) full-price game. It’s very, very shallow too.
  10. The space jump is very difficult to pull off reliably and continually.
  11. To those who finished this, how the fuck did you beat the final boss? I played for four solid trying to beat it, and never got past…
  12. I’m pleased that others have also come to the conclusion this is a steaming pile. It’s as shallow as a puddle, and the presentation is like a tacky low-budget smartphone game. Really doesn’t deserve being spoken about in the same breath as Outrun 2.
  13. Came back to it and finished the series, and on balance that was a good thing as it did get better, but that was mostly the Empire bits. And to extend my earlier Space GoT analogy, at times it was like going from the quality of prime seasons 2-4 GoT to seasons 7 and 8 level GoT within the confines of a single episode.
  14. Does the vanilla Switch work in a Switch OLED dock, incidentally? And do the Switch OLED models fit inside generic Switch carry-cases?
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