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  1. Superblast!

    Guilty Pleasures

    Even saying why it's offensive counts as a spoiler, so here goes:
  2. Superblast!

    Guilty Pleasures

    Sleepaway Camp. For the most part, it's a forgettable slasher film. Then, in the last few seconds of the film, it hits you with a plot twist that's not merely insane, but also incredibly offensive. And yet, even though I know it's regressive and has aged terribly, I still love it because it's so shocking that it actually manages to be genuinely scary.
  3. Superblast!

    What’s the worst film you have ever seen?

    I wouldn't say Out of Blue is the worst film I've ever seen but it's certainly the most disappointing one I've seen this year so far, and I say that as someone who was pretty let down by Us. I read that Kermode review after I watched it and I couldn't believe how generous he was. In fact, calling that review "generous" is generous in itself - during my screening people walked out before the end. It should've been a visually-stunning, metaphysical, dream-like experience, but in reality it had absolutely no idea whether it wanted to be that or a detective noir, with the end result being an incohesive mess.
  4. Superblast!

    Solid little thrillers

    Good Time. I smile every time someone in the Netflix thread discovers it, it deserves to be regarded as one of the decade's best thrillers.
  5. Superblast!

    Classic games spoiled by current games

    Almost all first/third-person shooters on the N64 have this problem, even when playing them natively. At the time aiming felt completely natural, now I'm completely incapable of using the left stick for anything other than movement. To add to the list: any PC game that requires manual saves.
  6. Superblast!

    Best implementation of the worst features

    One thing that people fail to realise about Shenmue's QTEs is that they're designed in a way that corresponds with the game's logic. Have you noticed that whenever you learn a new move in Shenmue, the game initially won't tell you what the correct button sequence is? You're supposed to figure it out yourself based on the instructor's description of the physical movement. This works because the fighting system is fairly consistent - you have a punch button, a kick button and and evade button, and all the moves are based on those three actions. So if someone tells you to do a feint then an elbow strike, you can figure out that it's probably a combo like Y + <- A. Now watch a video of Shenmue QTEs - they work the same way, albeit somewhat broader. Kid kicks a football at you? The QTE is the punch button - do it right and Ryo catches the ball. Ryo needs to trip someone up? It's the kick button. Chase sequence where someone throws something in your path? Evade button. It all makes sense, and it's a world away from the random button-mashing "Press X to not die" methodology that subsequent games did. Incidentally, this is another reason why Shenmue II's advanced QTEs weren't very good - the logic of which buttons you were meant to press was stretched to its breaking point.
  7. Superblast!

    Shenmue III - PS4/PC | 2019

    The survey responses closed a month ago, they're only allowing minor edits now (i.e. change of address).
  8. Conversely, as someone with mixed feelings towards the original I actually think this version was better. It kept the artful direction and emotion-over-logic feel of the original while mostly eschewing the stupid bits like comedy blind guy and Lurch. And it actually had dancing this time! Definitely should've been shorter, though.
  9. Superblast!

    Sleaziest film ever made

    When I was about 15 and just beginning to get into anime Manga went through a period where they realised they didn't have any new licences, and had to survive by churning out budget DVD releases of forgettable titles they'd bought during the VHS era. Violence Jack was one such DVD, and every time I saw it in HMV I'd be tempted by it. I had no doubt it would be terrible, but I had very little money and it was half the price of the other anime DVDs, and besides, any teenager will tell you that something called Violence Jack must surely be worth watching, right? In the end, I never did buy it on account of it having an 18 certificate and I didn't think my mum would get it for me. Many years later I would read the series' Wikipedia entry and experience the unnerving revelation that I was one irresponsible parent away from giving my young self lasting psychological damage. Cool story bro. Anyway, a few years ago I watched a film called Aaaaaaaah!. Yes, it's actually called that. Here's the (NSFW) trailer: Since that didn't really explain anything: it's a bizarre satire of human society in which all the characters communicate in unintelligible grunts and exhibit animalistic behaviour. The plot (as much as it exists) focuses on a suburban household whose aggressive, impotent alpha male is challenged for pack dominance by another interloping alpha and his beta. A seemingly never-ending display of disgusting antics ensues. Just about any bodily fluid you can think of is in this film. I thought it'd be worth watching because there's a few decent British comedy actors in it, but dear God the premise runs thin pretty quickly. The runtime is less than 80 minutes and yet it still feels too long.
  10. Superblast!

    Sleaziest film ever made

    Visitor Q. Actually, forget it, if we started listing individual Takashi Miike films we'd be here all day.
  11. Superblast!

    Biggest discrepancy in gaming - your opinion Vs everyone

    I guess this is the thread for this: UK Resistance was utterly dire and I've never understood how it managed to attain the fanbase it did. It was basically an entire website full of faux-ironic NEG posts.
  12. Superblast!

    Cold War

    The most disappointing thing about this film was finding out that they haven't released the soundtrack.
  13. Superblast!

    Biggest discrepancy in gaming - your opinion Vs everyone

    I'm taking issue with this bit not because it's wrong (God knows there's a lot of that in this thread) but because you've outright misrepresented the problems people have with Mirror's Edge. Very few people complained about the combat being poor, in the sense that few people complain about the combat being poor in stealth or survival horror games - there's a general understanding that games like that aren't meant to have good combat controls, as doing so would ruin the kind of gameplay they were going for. Why would anyone be worried about being spotted by guards in Metal Gear Solid if you could just gun them down without a moment's thought? And so it goes for Mirror's Edge, which would have little need for running and jumping if you could just blast your way through every level. As you say, it's a platformer, not a shooter. Except...that's the real problem: DICE did not treat it as a platformer, they treated it as a shooter with jumping bits. So the game starts with you doing running, jumping and avoiding enemies (good), then progresses to having less space to run and jump (not so good), then adds more enemies (shit), then adds bigger, tougher enemies that stand right in front of the only possible exit (really shit) and by the end you're trying to shoot computer mainframes in a room with barely anywhere to run and jump which is infested with a SWAT team (who the fuck let this abomination happen). That's what people mean when they complain about the combat: it's a game where you're supposed to avoid combat which then frequently forces you into unavoidable combat. Some of the critics wanted less shooting, not more! To bring this back to my original analogy, if Mirror's Edge was Metal Gear Solid it would start with Snake sneaking his way into Shadow Moses, then the rest of the game would mainly consist of that bit where you have to run up the endless staircase gunning down an entire platoon of soldiers. And the cutscenes would look like a flash game circa 2004.
  14. Superblast!

    Your unearthed gems

    A few of mine: Possible Worlds Maybe calling this a "gem" is a little optimistic, as the acting ranges from passable to downright terrible, and it's got some really cheap looking scenes (presumably most of the budget went towards casting Tilda Swinton, who ironically ended up providing one the film's worst performances). However, there's frequent moments of absolutely beautiful cinematography, and the concept is utterly fascinating. It's about a guy called George who is found dead in his apartment with his brain surgically removed - except then the film shows him going to a job interview and meeting Joyce (Tilda Swinton). Turns out it isn't a flashback - the universe consists of billions of possible worlds, all with their own minute differences, and in this world George is still alive. And not only is George still alive in multiple worlds, he's somehow become aware of his presence in all of them simultaneously, and seems to be able to switch between them. The rest of the film has a dream-like flow in which George moves between possible worlds yet is always drawn to Joyce, despite her personality and circumstances changing each time. Despite its flaws it's a really unique experience, apparently it's available on Amazon Video if that's your thing (though judging by some of the reviews it still has the terrible transfer that the DVD has). Possession I went to see Mother last year, and as I left the cinema the only opinion I could muster was "that wasn't as good as Possession". That's a somewhat unfair comparison as they're both quite different films, but as there aren't many other entries in the arty-not-quite-horror-but-we're-not-sure-how-else-to-describe-this genre I guess it's inevitable. Mark (Sam Neill) returns to his home in Berlin to find that his wife Anna (Isabelle Adjani) wants a divorce. Despite his initial pleas for her to reconsider, their relationship deteriorates and their interactions towards each other become increasingly hysterical and violent. Anna's behaviour becomes unpredictable and she starts disappearing for significant periods of time, which leads Mark to suspect she has another lover - but when he investigates, things escalate to a level he could never imagine. Eschewing a literal depiction of a marital breakdown in favour of surreal, visceral imagery in order to really emphasise just how painful the experience is, I saw this in my local arthouse and at one point it got so disturbing that I heard woman sitting near me audibly exclaim "Jeeeesus". It also holds the rather ignominious distinction of being screened in competition for the Palme D'Or, only to end up on the UK's Video Nasties list. Hugo and Josephine Josephine is a shy, imaginative pastor's daughter who is teased by the other children at her school and spends much of her time alone. Hugo is a boy who lives by his own unfathomable lifestyle, and is so self-reliant that he seemingly lives by himself in the nearby forest. Together they have adventures in the Swedish countryside (end of plot). To my knowledge this has never received a release in English-speaking regions outside of a few brief cinema runs, and I've struggled to find an import copy of the Swedish DVD anywhere. Sweden's gain is our loss, as it's utterly charming and one of the best children's films I've ever seen.

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