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David Heath

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  1. David Heath

    IGN writer busted copying other people's reviews

    It's because he's lazy, but he's also too stupid to realise he isn't being as lazy as he could be.
  2. David Heath

    Nintendo Switch

    It's become my new favourite game to play drunk. Had so much fun at the weekend with it and a bottle of red wine, becoming angrier and angrier at Toad and his idiotic mannerisms and voice, searching bitterly for the stupid hide and seek pixel, maddening myself at my own lack of good aim on the mine cart, and convulsing with frustration at not being able to work out how to reach a diamond which turns out to be simple in the end. It's like glorious colourful stress ball with whimsical music. 10/10
  3. David Heath

    Nintendo Switch

    I am so FUCKING PUMPED about the prospect of navigating a shrill voiced mushroom doofus around colourful puzzle environments this weekend.
  4. David Heath

    2018 FIFA World Cup

    No one in England wonders this.
  5. The lights will dim and the curtains will rise and Satoru Iwata's cybernetically reanimated body will trample maniacally onstage housed inside a nine foot tall metallic shrine, thus beginning a three hour epic retelling of Homer's Odyssey in which Iwata crushes tiny representations of Sony and Xbox employees, influencers, and streamers, stomping flamboyantly around the stage in a frothing spectacle of death and glory, and ultimately resulting in the announcement of a brand new Switch edition of Doshin The Giant.
  6. I paid £40 for this and it's brilliant. Yeah it's hard as fuck, and it does sometimes feel like your fingers are solving a Rubik's cube when you're having to grab vines and jump and stuff, but the level design is magnificent, and the sense of control once it clicks is great. I'd prefer not having to search for air underwater, and less emphasis on having to switch between Kong characters, but even that works OK. Going for an initial playthrough with all Kong letters and jigsaws, then gonna 100% hard mode and get all the gold medals on Time Attack. Was hoping this would feature at SGDQ2018 but it appears not.
  7. David Heath

    Hollywood vs. Streaming

    If cinema is so great, what are they worried about? Have everything available in cinema and on streaming services from release date and let the people decide what they want their experience to be. I wonder what they could be afraid of ...
  8. David Heath

    This is Hip-Hop.

    Don't think there's a non fucked up version on YouTube but you get the idea.
  9. I saw this in a screening last Wednesday or something. I can't remember what the embargo was on the NDA I signed so I won't go on about it too much, but I did have a lot of fun with it. I can't work out who it's for, though. Like, the dialogue is horrible and it does the thing where it explains itself to the audience, so it's got to be a kids film, but then the pop culture references (and there a hundreds and hundreds of them!) are all from the 80s and 90s and will be lost on that audience. So if you're a kid you have a fun action movie but miss out on loads of fun details, and if you're an adult you have loads of detail but no narrative meat. It's basically a giant love letter to pop culture that could have done with a better story and better writing. Some of the set pieces, and one in particular, look incredible, though.
  10. David Heath

    Nintendo Direct - March 8, 2018

    Oh man. Yes.
  11. David Heath

    Nintendo Direct - March 8, 2018

  12. David Heath

    Nintendo Switch

    Finished DOOM last week. Restarted the single player campaign as soon as the new update came out, on Nightmare, with a view to finishing it 100% (including all the secret areas, weapon upgrades, hidden items, level challenges, etc.). Up to area four so far. I'm enjoying it a lot more on the second playthrough. Even though it's even more unforgiving on Nightmare, I've learnt so much from the first attempt that overall I've died a lot less this time. Terrified of the prospect of some of the later set pieces, though. The multiplayer is the most ridiculous time sink I've ever encountered; I opened a couple of bottles of wine in front of the TV on Friday night at about nine, and the next thing I realised I'd started losing every match and it was half three in the morning and I was hammered as fuck.
  13. David Heath

    Super Mario Bros. World Record

    Darbian has lost his WR (not because of me)!
  14. David Heath

    Nintendo Switch

    Never look at your playtime.
  15. deKay frequently argues some of the most staggeringly shit opinions, but this is a new low, even for him. Super Mario Sunshine is an inarguably disappointing mess of plumber based jetsam drifting through the sea of otherwise wonderful Nintendo brilliance. It has the weakest movement, the stupidest level design, the most flawed ideas, and the dumbest visuals of all the games in the poll. It is little wonder that it is his favourite.

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