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David Heath

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  1. "look at my phone screen, i have nearly 700 pikmin"
  2. Here's how I think it'll go down. - Switch remake of Superman 64 with limited edition numbered titanium boxset - The entire cast of Eastenders from 1990 to present day revealed as new characters for Smash Bros. with accompanying amiibo - New F-Zero game to be released exclusively on TikTok - Boards of Canada are dead - Doug Bowser to close all food banks
  3. I don’t know what level of insane TASBot bullshit people are expecting to do with an N64 emulator on a Switch, or what genius speed runners we have on the forum pulling off frame perfect tricks on their Twitch streams like they’re the headline act at AGDQ, but if I can beat F-Zero X on Master difficulty then I imagine this “game breaking input lag” is actually a load of horseshit. I mean, even if there is input lag, you’re playing Banjo-Kazooie with a can of Red Stripe ffs, it’s not going to matter!
  4. Banjo-Kazooie is fucking mental. I mean, I played it years ago when it first came out, but I forgot. Every moment of the game is pure carnage and I have no idea how much crack the Rare office was smoking, but it's mayhem from the second you turn the thing on. Every sound effect is turned up to 11. It's like someone told a classroom of 5 year olds with musical instruments to "make the sound you think a feather would make" and then they all pick up a recorder and play their own interpretation of this instruction at the same time and then THAT'S WHAT THEY PUT IN THE GAME. Want to pick up a metal skull head so that Mumbo Jumbo can turn you into a termite? No problem, here's a slightly off colour shaman chanting noise, AND THEN THE DAMN OBJECT TALKS TO YOU IN ITS OWN VOICE TO TELL YOU HOW TO USE IT. I had to turn the brightness down on the TV because the colour palette is brutal. It has to be the closest thing on earth that's opposite a sensory deprivation tank. It's god damn magical.
  5. I upgraded Switch membership last night and started playing this again for the first time since I reckon about 2005-06 ish? God damn it's so good. Like, some N64 games you go back to and it's as if someone melted all your favourite memories and then pied them into your face, but this is exactly how I remembered it. Somehow I'm also still really good at it; I think I beat all the Novice and Standard tracks in the first three cups coming first, although I did die a bunch of times. The controls are definitely twitchy as hell with the sensitivity of the Joypad, but that's OK. I also forgot they just stuck Rainbow Road in here Top things to remember loving again so far: - The game is like "Get ready, NOW GO IDIOT!" within the space of about half a second - Deciding whether to spin smash into a pile of other machines knowing it'll be satisfying as hell but fuck up your entire race - The music is badass - Watching other racers stupidly boost into a half pipe and flip outrageously into the horizon - There's a track called Big Hand and it's just a big hand 10/10
  6. One of my favourite things about this game was how the random course generator would sometimes create a track that none of the CPU drivers could handle, like, there'd be a short straight section with a boost pad and then immediately the track would drop downward like some mad theme park coaster and you'd sit and watch as 29 hapless vehicles hurtled into the sun never to be seen again.
  7. David Heath


    Yeah, pre ground filter coffee. I'm not sure if there is anything good on Amazon that I can order along with the Bodum but I work in King's Cross and there are at least 900 expensive coffee places in Coal Drops Yard so there's a lot I can experiment with.
  8. David Heath


    I would like to get a coffee maker for my flat so I can spend a few moments each morning doing something ritualistic and simple in order to wake up and stop and feel calm before doing something else, and then drink a delicious beverage at the end of it. I don't own a giant kitchen so I want something small and not electric and elegant and with white detailing. I think I am going to get this but I wanted to run it past the forum minds first to see if I am being a moron or something. I assume all I need to get along with it is some filter coffee. Do I need to also get disposable filters or does this thing have some kind of in built filtering system?
  9. Is the Mario Kart thing a one off cost. Or is it, as it seems to me when I listen back at the wording, either a subscription, or a £22 fee per update?
  10. world: pls give us a game nintendo: we now present four minutes of ceos playing volleyball
  11. Hello, and welcome to my TED talk on how wrong I am.
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