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Hanzo the Razor

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Everything posted by Hanzo the Razor

  1. It was strange. They're fine now but those few seconds really freaked them out.
  2. I'll go to see this but I'm hesitant. I fell asleep during Spectre. I'll admit that wasn't helped by our first born being born eight weeks early and being in the ICU at the time but bloody hell it bored the arse off me. And Christoph Waltz was shit as Blofeld. He should have stayed down the fucking chimney.
  3. Star Wars probably wants nothing to do with him going forwards. He was OK in Force Awakens but after that he was rank rotten.
  4. So this morning my two girls (nearly 5 and nearly 6) were playing a game where if they fell off my legs they fell into the crocodiles (Not my idea. The nearly six year old started it). I know not much bothers them and I think I'm a fairly cool Dad (I know. Fuck off). I decided in my wisdom to show them the rope bridge scene in Temple of Doom. It's on Amazon Prime so was easy enough to access. All was going well. Great hilarity at the end of the mine cart chase with Indy burning his feet, the torrent of water, Short Round falling through the rope bridge. No fucks given about the Thuggee dudes falling off the bridge into the jaws of the crocs... But the moment that Mola Ram grabbed Indy by the tit and started doing the heart ripping incantation while hanging off the bridge they freaked out. I mean freaked out. Hiding behind me. Hands over the eyes. The whole shebang. They hadn't even seen the earlier scene with the heart ripping because I knew it would be too much for them. It was just the intensity of those few seconds that hit them. You forget about the stuff that bothered you as a kid. As an adult you brush off stuff like that. No wonder Temple of Doom was so problematic to the MPAA and BBFC back in 1984.
  5. I'm utterly sick of Superheroes.
  6. I'm pretty sure the main reason that they killed off Han Solo was because that's what Harrison Ford wanted. He wanted Han to die at the end of Empire. He wanted Han to die at the end of Jedi. Lucas kept saying no. He jumped at the chance to kill off Han. To be honest I liked the way they killed Han off. It was well acted by Ford and Adam Driver. It also had the requisite pointless, hugely dangerous bridge over a gaping chasm which has been a Star Wars trope since the original film.
  7. Halloween ends when John Carpenter puts down his Xbox controller and says it has.
  8. I only just noticed that he made a recent documentary about why OF&H is so popular in Serbia https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13670588/?ref_=nm_flmg_slf_6 I'll need to give it a watch. Those first few series of OF&H are pure gold. He was great in it. "Maaarleeeen!" RIP
  9. Flash Gordon is a 15 now? Does Vultan get his cock out or something?
  10. It would be vastly improved if John Tompson did his voice over in his Jazz Club voice. "They've just ran that cunt off the road so they can nick him. Niiiiiiice."
  11. I'll let you know on the 9th of October.
  12. That's a good long wank.
  13. Whooooo???!!!! Arnold to Eddie Murphy: "“I should be a triplet, that could be a very funny comedy."
  14. Yeah, that came out wrong. I mean I just want to fuck about in there. Have a root about in M's drawers. Have a suck at his pipe. I'll get me coat.
  15. I just want to spend two an a half hours having a poke around M's office with the padded door. I've loved that room since I was a nipper watching the Moore and Connery films.
  16. That Region 1 DVD of The Matrix was one of the first DVDs I ever imported. Bought it and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (It was still banned in the UK in 1999). The Matrix was still in the cinema over here at the time.
  17. You can't go wrong with Live and Let Die. "Names is for tombstones baby!" The wife and I watched the final trailer for No Time to Die the other night. I said "It's obvious that Freddie Mercury is Dr No. His name's even in the title of the film!" She replied "I wouldn't know. I've never seen it." She loves Sean Connery and has seen most of the other Bond films. Never seen Dr No? Where's the divorce papers?
  18. That looks utterly God awful. From his performance in that trailer it should also be re-titled "Leonardo Di Caprio Needs a Shit".
  19. The Rock looks like a bag of walnuts pushed into a condom these days.
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