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MarkN

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Everything posted by MarkN

  1. MarkN

    Comedy timing

    Just been reading through the Alan Partridge thread, and something made me go and search for this sketch from Vic and Bob's House Of Fools, which for me is just a masterpiece of timing - the pauses between mug falls, the rate at which they happen, the fact that it goes on for longer than you think it should at first, but then only gets funnier - for me it's note perfect: Would love to see other folks examples of great comedy timing - should be a fun thread to return to.
  2. MarkN

    Vegetarian / Vegan recipes

    My favourite noodles by far are Nongshim Shin Ramyun and Shin Cup. They're proper nom (quite spicy too). You have to be careful though because some variants have anchovy in (possibly only sometimes - I swear I've had the regular sized cup ones without anchovy, but last time I bought some it included it in the ingredients). The Shin Ramyun that I currently have (which doesn't come in a cup) are veggie, as was a large-sized bowl I picked up from Morrison's recently. Will try to remember to check the regular ones again next time I'm somewhere that sells them (Sainsbury's, Morrisons and Tesco all have them near me). EDIT: Just checked - and they still list anchovy in the regular cup size, whereas the large bowl and loose packets don't. Bizarre! So don't buy the one pictured below, but the exact same package design in a packet or large bowl is fine. Another one I eat fairly often is Ko-Lee Go Extreme. These have a veggie seal on the pack so are definitely OK, and despite the name aren't super spicy. Not as good as Shin Cup by some distance, but can be picked up for 28p a pack in Morrisons. They're a bit more of a faff to prepare because alongside a powder sachet there's also one with oil in, and getting that out can be messy (I tend to slice 3 sides open, and then chuck the sachet in the bowl, pour the boiling water on, then fish out the plastic at the end). There's also a chow mein variety which is pretty good too (although Morrisons don't seem to stock them so I have to pay top whack for them at Sainsbury's (40p a pack)).
  3. MarkN

    Comedy timing

    It's not quite what I was after, but I pissed myself 3 times watching it, so it'll do. Edit: I was wrong. After a re-watch when he asks "Do you mind if I smoke?" - that's just spot on. Absolutely perfect. I mean - the rest of it is brilliant, but purely from a timing point of view that is top notch, for me.
  4. MarkN

    Comedy timing

    That punch is an absolute belter. You know that hurt. Possibly another thread there - best punches in film history. I'd start with The Last Boy Scout, but this one's a shoe-in.
  5. MarkN

    Comedy timing

    I honestly haven't seen that before, and halfway through I was tempted to sack it off as not relevant (and actually something I'd rather not watch). But I stuck with it - and it's exactly right. It wasn't funny to me, but it became a bit funny, and then it became funnier, and then it became magnificent. I mean it's bloody horrible, but it's still properly fucking funny. And it's that same kind of "piling it on" thing. It's only really funny when they have the courage to take it far too fucking far for comfort.
  6. MarkN

    Vegetarian / Vegan recipes

    Woah! That milk separation sounds like madness - unless you mean the long-life versions of milk, which are always kept separate (in my store they're nowhere near the baking ingredients though). But yes - the assumptions is (I believe) that vegans don't want stuff that tastes like meat, because they don't eat the stuff. You can point out until you are blue in the face that the reason they don't eat the stuff is the "death and killing and cruelty" and that most veggies and vegans have meat products that they actually really enjoyed but can't eat any more, but that doesn't seem to register. It's not the flavour and texture that's the problem, you muppets - it's the cruelty and death. If you can do one without the other then we're sorted. (My personal favourites are all weird shit like corned beef and chicken liver pate which no-ones going to bother make veggie-equivalents of for a bastard long time yet, so I'm screwed.) I genuinely believe we're getting there on this one though. The progress in the last couple of years has been incredible. It will take some people some time to catch up, and some time for the marketplace to sort itself out too, but I really think this is heading properly in the right direction.
  7. MarkN

    What’s the worst film you have ever seen?

    The worst film I remember paying to see at the cinema was Interview With The Vampire. I can't remember much about it now other than wanting to leave for the last five hours (that what it felt like, at least). Doesn't seem to review that badly - but it's etched into my memory as tedious as hell. To be fair - it wouldn't have been my choice of film, so I probably tagged along with friends, and then felt obliged to sit through it to the end. I couldn't give a toss about vampires, but you expect them to at least be half-way interesting. I remember being bored witless.
  8. MarkN

    Vegetarian / Vegan recipes

    The idea of putting the meat-free burgers in the meat aisle is that they're not aimed at vegans. The assumption (rightly or wrongly) being that most die-hard vegans don't want something that tastes like meat. They're aimed at people who want to cut down on meat, so they're put next to it to show folk the alternatives. It's one of those decisions where it's easy to think they've got it wrong, but when it comes to making money I trust big business to know more about this sort of thing than I do. If they thought they'd make more cash putting it in the veggie section then that's where it would be. It's not a hipster decision, it's a money decision.
  9. MarkN

    Vegetarian / Vegan recipes

    I do usually add the spices at the end of frying and stir them through for a minute or two - I should have mentioned that above. I think I held off because when I went to check the name on the packet I read the example recipe, and it said add them after the liquids, so I wondered if I was doing it wrong. But my own method has been aggregated from the silly numbers of cookery shows I've watched, which is my usual way of doing anything (if I want a recipe for a dish I tend to google it, read 6 or 7 different ones, and then make one that's based on the lot, rather than follow one slavishly). Cheers for the confirmation though.
  10. MarkN

    Ape Out - Aesthetically goshdarned lovely smash-em-up.

    I'm kinda enjoying this, but also not. I love the art style, and I really like playing by seeing through it (makes sense when you're on the dark levels). But I think it fails as a decent game. I'm not getting that much better at it, regardless of how much I play. I'm muddling through at best. It's one of those games where if the random number generator is against you then you are absolutely fucked. And if that happens twelve times in a row you are going to have a miserable time of things. Just running through the level trying to find the exit seems to be a more valid tactic than actually engaging with the level mechanics a lot of the time. I've probably finished at least half the levels I've completed that way (after dozens of more controlled attempts failed miserably). Then again, maybe I'm just a rubbish gorilla...
  11. MarkN

    Vegetarian / Vegan recipes

    My curries tend to be quite hit and miss - more miss than hit if I'm honest. Recently I bought a bag of curry spice from the world food aisle in Morrisons, and that makes results I'm happy with very easily. It's this stuff - £2 for a big bag: https://groceries.morrisons.com/webshop/product/Heera-Kashmiri-Basaar-Mix/408518011 All I do is fry up onions and then add some garlic. Then I add whatever bulky veg I'm using (potato and chickpeas is a regular, but most things work. Then add a tin of tomatoes (chopped), some coconut cream, some water, and the spice mix. Possibly a handful or two of red lentils if I think that'll help. Cook that until everything's done. If I've got something soft like spinach I'll chuck that in toward the end. So far it's always been pretty good - much more reliable than me busking it with a load of jars. A couple of things to note - there's a lot of salt in that mix, so you probably won't need to add any of your own (at least not until the end). Secondly, it is quite spicy so have a test run, or add it a little at a time (I don't tend to pay too much attention to measures when cooking, but I think a teaspoon a serving would be a decent start point.) Also for the coconut cream, I've been using the stuff below (also found in the World food aisle) which is super convenient. You just break off a lump and dissolve it in hot water, then chuck the rest in the fridge (it keeps for ages). Much cheaper than buying tins, and great if you only need a little at a time (I only use maybe an eighth of a block for 4 servings - just enough to add creaminess, but not enough to dominate). https://groceries.morrisons.com/webshop/product/KTC-Pure-Creamed-Coconut/360295011?from=search&param=ktc creamed cocontut I'm actually having a curry tonight. I have gone a little off-piste from the above for once, and replaced half of the spice mix with a 50/50 mix of freshly toasted ground cumin and turmeric. It seem to recall it tasted quite nice when I cooked it, but I was quite drunk at the time and it's been sat in the fridge for a couple of days since then. It sounds like you're sorted for bread, but since I've started here's another recommendation. These naan breads (again I got them from Morrisons) are really very good. Enormous, vegan and proper nom. I've bought a pack every week since I discovered them. https://groceries.morrisons.com/webshop/product/The-Clay-Oven-Bakery-Garlic--Coriander-Naan-Bread/336891011?param=garlic+coriander+naan+oven&from=search
  12. MarkN

    The Alien films

    It is a properly wonderful film. The design is sublime. It nailed the "people just doing this shit for a living" thing, only in space and in the future. I think that was a big ask - it's why a lot of sci-fi ages badly - it makes the future too good to be true. Alien's setting was wonderfully world-weary, broken and imperfect. Harry Dean Stanton enjoying the shower from a leak above some rusty chains is a moment that sticks in my mind - it's just normal people getting by the best way they know. These are grunts doing grunt work for minimum wage for a company that could not care less about them.
  13. MarkN

    The Alan Partridge Thread

    It's not quite right, but it's getting really close. The shuttlecock at the end was note perfect. The background tweet saying "you will be mist" was a highlight, but I'm easily amused by my own pedantry...
  14. MarkN

    The Alan Partridge Thread

    I'd broadly agree, but you'd have to kick Blackadder 4 out of there for me - it's significantly less funny than 2 or 3 (IMO), and it relies on that whole "it's as cunning as a cunning thing being particularly cunning" device that got old very quickly (I actually prefer the original series to 4 - it's not as funny, but I'd rather watch it again). I'd throw in the first couple of series of Black Books as a personal favourite. They're up there for me. Then there's Father Ted.
  15. MarkN

    My Time At Portia

    I'm still really enjoying this. I'm a fair way into it now - have finally upgraded my house, have helped towards some major projects, and am starting to build up a nice stash of resources and cash. One of the things I really like is that some of the projects you get involved in really have an impact - something that perhaps works better here than in some other games I've played because it's in nice chunky 3D. In particular the bridge to the desert, where I built a tower or two, and then you see them in place each time you cross and think "I did that" (likewise the South Block which is about where I am now). There are a few niggles - friendship is a bit on the slow side, and the play date thing seems a bit forced and odd (but bearable), there's a general lack of information in some areas (what a commission requires you to be able to create to complete it, what newly-researched devices actually do before you build them, and so on...). But then there are a lot of nice touches too. Being able to buy lots of inventory space is nice, crafting using resources in storage is sanity-savingly good (likewise not having to build components for composite items at the worktable is a big plus). I'm currently 77 hours in and there's still so much still to do - buildings I've never even been in, dungeons I've barely delved, loads of stuff still to craft, and a cat to adopt (I'm guessing - I've got the dog, and am just waiting for the Mysterious Man to reappear so I can buy a dog tag and rename him what all my video game dogs have been called - Worms*). *This worked really well in FF8 where I renamed the dog Angelo as Worms, only to find out that it renamed all his specials too, so instead of "Angelo Rush", you could launch "Worms rush".
  16. MarkN

    The most beautiful song you ever heard

    This, perhaps. (REM's Perfect Circle mentioned above isn't far behind - I adore that song too. Stipey works a treat on this too though.)
  17. MarkN

    Gaming tropes that need to go away

    I agree - but of all the tooltips I've read it would be a vanishingly small number that actually ever proved useful. The problem is that I find it really hard not to read text, so I end up reading these banal snippets time and time again, only realising it's pointless repeat waffle when it's too late. In the example I gave, if you wander over to investigate the sparkly objects in question, the game brings up a little prompt that reads "Gather" and the button you should press to do so. That tooltip is one of the most pointlessly unnecessary lines of text ever written. I'm sure there must be games that do it, but what would be genuinely useful would be a reminder of what I did last in the game, and what I need to do next. If I've not played for a few weeks (or if I last played whilst drunk) then that could genuinely be useful.
  18. MarkN

    Vegetarian / Vegan recipes

    I'm going to have to give these a go, I guess. I'm not even the biggest burger fan, but interested to see what it's like. Actually intrigued rather than interested now...
  19. MarkN

    Gaming tropes that need to go away

    Tooltips on loading screens that state the bleeding obvious. I've put 46 hours into My Time At Portia so far, and it keeps on telling me that the sparkly things on the ground are wood and stones that can be collected. What the actual fuck does it think I've been doing all this time? Walking around them?
  20. MarkN

    The Game Development Thread

    I think this is a thread you should be allowed to hit up as often as you like. It reminds the rest of us to keep doing stuff. KEEP DOING STUFF! (I'll try to get back in a few days with what I've been up to).
  21. MarkN

    Best implementation of the worst features

    I have fond memories of the swimming sections in the original Tomb Raider. In particular one level (the name escapes me) which was set in a deep flooded chamber. You had to dive down to the bottom to solve the puzzles, but it was far enough down that by the time you got there you had very little time to do anything before heading back to the surface. It sounds awful, but it actually really nailed the feeling of having to hold your breath for longer than you'd like (and did it in an environment where you always knew where your next breath was coming from).
  22. MarkN

    Good Cover Versions

    Just trawled through the thread and can't see this (not even from me), so here's perhaps my favourite. "Imagine" made nice and bleak by A Perfect Circle. I'm not the biggest fan of the original, so this works so much better for me:
  23. MarkN

    Vegetarian / Vegan recipes

    Yeah - Cauldron are my favourites of all the sausages I've tried. Admittedly there are lots more I haven't tried since the recent expansion of so many vegan ranges. The Sainsbury's chorizo-style shroom dogs I mentioned above would be next best (so far) but they're a more specialist proposition (they work better cold in a sandwich the next day than the Cauldron ones though - those tend to end up a bit grey and tasteless if not eaten right away).
  24. MarkN

    My Time At Portia

    The most money I've made so far was turning up for the fishing competition (I screwed up the first day - turns out you don't just turn up and start fishing - you need to approach the empty chair to activate the event. I spent the whole day fishing thinking I was participating, but wasn't. Had loads of fish to sell though.) But activating the event on the second day meant I caught better things that were worth just as much in a few hours (the competition only lasts 3 hours, but has a wider range of fish than the fishing spot normally would). I think I made well over 5 grand for those 2 days, which is pretty good so far. Just make sure you've made yourself a rod already and have plenty of caterpillars on you (I ran out with half an hour to spare on the 2nd day). I've not tried spending any other time fishing since, but potentially it seemed like a good way to earn quick cash.
  25. MarkN

    My Time At Portia

    It does, but it's a bit of a dog's breakfast. I'm using the pad to play, but drop back to keyboard for some things (there may be simple button presses for them, but the game doesn't tell you). So I use the number keys to select what I'm wielding, and to get to the inventory etc. (Using left and right on the D-Pad to select what you want to build at the Assembly Station just smacks of absolute desperation - "what haven't we used yet?") That said, I'm loving it still. I'm getting back to where I was in the demo - got most of the crafting machines needed for the bridge done, will get my axe upgrade tomorrow, and then I can push forward. I've done a few extra commissions on the side too, so am in a much better position than I was.
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